20 ways to find out if a man is married, but hiding it
20 reliable signs to help you figure out if a man is married but hiding
As they say, everything secret comes out someday. But, agree, this is not the case when you want to procrastinate with finding out the real state of affairs. Therefore we can take the situation into their own hands and analyze the behavior of your loved one. Of course, you can talk frankly with the gentleman and clarify his marital status. But, asking a straightforward question, you are not immune from the insincere answer. A guy can deceive you so that you will continue to be his mistress.
Interesting video on the subject:
How to understand that a man is married, but hides it? He can give away a strip of untanned skin on the ring finger of the right hand or a stamp in the passport, in which you seem to have accidentally looked. However, an experienced conqueror of the ladies’ hearts for a long time does not wear a wedding ring, convincing his wife that it interferes or was lost on a fishing trip, and hides documents from prying eyes. So look closely at the behavior of the lover, pay attention to the details that are not as obvious as a stamp in the passport, but can just as easily give away the cheater:
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- Movements, gestures, facial expressions can tell you what a person thinks and feels no worse than words. Even a habitual liar can compromise himself with excessive nervousness. The man will fidget on the couch, startle at unexpected phone calls, twirl a small object in his hands, constantly adjust his clothes, in a crowded place to look around. These signs indicate that the person is hiding something, and he is uncomfortable, but he still prefers to stay with you instead of solving his problem.
- You and your lover stay together for the first time for the night. Suddenly, the man says that he needs to leave the apartment in order to take out the trash, pick up a forgotten scarf from the car, to go get cookies for the morning. If the pretext for leaving seems far-fetched to you, there is a good chance that the gentleman just needs to call his wife and tell her another legend, why he does not sleep at home.
- Weekends and holidays you always spend alone. Even if your lover does stop by, it’s not for long. On the phone on such days before it too can not be called. Cavalier sincerely assures you that it’s just a lot of work or need to spend the holidays at your favorite grandmother, but you still feel lonely and anxious. This behavior of a man is a sure sign that he is married. It is usually easier for a mistress to find time on weekdays, while weekends are usually devoted to family.
- He will never stay with you overnight. If your lover does not work on a rotating basis, it will be extremely difficult for him to explain to his spouse why he is not sleeping at home.
- Your lover does not have a page on any social networking site. He calls the Internet a child’s play or refers to the fact that he does not want to share his personal information. In fact, it may be an attempt to hide the marital status, because wives and children are always added to friends and post photos together. Refusing to share social media is not a hundred percent sign that a man is married. Perhaps he really fears global surveillance. But it is still recommended to check this point.
- A free man who wants to win you over will show off his achievements, successes and even brag a little. If you notice that the cavalier is more interested in your affairs than in telling about himself, then perhaps he is married and does not want to share the details of his life with you, so as not to accidentally give away the secret. Lover treats you as a temporary amusement, so does not tend to be frank.
- Make him a small gift in the form of a trinket or a beautiful pen. Married gentleman will try to get rid of the gift, so as not to cause suspicion in his wife. If your gift is always with him, and he openly shows it, then you can not fear that your chosen one is not free.
- Most people do not know how to lie so masterfully that they can not be caught or at least something to suspect. It takes real talent, an excellent memory and acting skills. Therefore, with proper care, you can feel the deception, to guess it in the smallest detail. For example, after an unexpected phone call, the man is suddenly going home, stating that his aunt came to visit without warning. Or disappears for a few days, and then said that at work there was a rush. Such situations are possible in everyday life, but if a person lies, he will be tense, he will not be able to describe the details, and after a month will not remember what he said at all.
- Pay attention to how often you go to public places: movies, exhibitions, cafes, bars, malls. If your lover avoids showing up in public with you or chooses entertainment away from the city, it should be alert.
- Recall how many times you were his guests. If you are dating for a long time and the gentleman never once invited you to his place, it is time to think about why this is happening. Of course, it may be that the guy just a mess at home or he is not ready to let you in his personal space, but maybe the reason for this is something else.
- Married gentleman will not call you ten times a day just to see how you are, and on weekends he will talk to you as a spy in an ambush – a few words, curtly and whisper.
- You were looking for a lover on a dating site. He wrote first, he was nice, and you liked his avatar. How surprised you were when another man showed up on the date whose face only vaguely resembled the photo on the site! What was the purpose of the man posting an image that wasn’t his? Perhaps he is shy, but maybe he is just married and afraid to be recognized.
- You have been together for a long time and think that everything is serious, but his chosen one is not making joint ambitious plans. His plans, which concern you, take over the next week, no more.
- In many families, wives control the income of the spouse. The man in the marriage does not have the finances to constantly take his mistress to restaurants and make expensive gifts. If you notice that after a short confetti-bouquet period, your relationship has been reduced to an infrequent meeting on your property, it’s time to raise the alarm.
- Remember whether you are familiar with his environment – friends, colleagues, relatives. Married gentleman will never introduce his mistress to his loved ones. Of course, he can say that he has no friends, and his parents live in another city, but it’s still a reason to be wary.
- It is impossible to keep track of all the little details, and then you find a woman’s gloves or a child’s spatula in your lover’s car. And the next time you notice that his shirt is perfectly ironed, even though you know for sure that your beloved cannot iron. These small clues may indicate that the man is married. If they have already accumulated a decent amount, it is time to ask your lover to explain himself.
- Often people carry pictures of loved ones in their wallets. When a man will pay in a store or a cab, look closely at his wallet – suddenly you will notice a picture of his wife and children.
- You noticed that when your lover sleeps over, he always turns off his phone. If the cavalier’s profession does not involve emergency calls that he does not want to take, then perhaps he is afraid of talking to his wife and therefore turns off his cell phone.
- You can’t get your lover to take a photo together. When you try to take selfies with him, he may sharply yank you away. As an excuse, the man says he’s not photogenic. But most likely, he fears that you will have compromising pictures of him. After all, no one knows how life will turn out tomorrow. What if you decide to send pictures to his wife.
- It is difficult to assume that in the behavior of your chosen one you will notice at once all of the above signs that he is married. Perhaps he will behave perfectly, but an inner voice will tell you that something is wrong. Listen to it. A woman’s intuition is rarely wrong. Try to talk frankly with your partner, tell him that you love him and want a family and children. If after your honest confession man will disappear, do not look for him – you with him not on the way.
Even if you are worried about something in the behavior of your beloved, do not jump to conclusions and do not start suspecting him of all mortal sins. He may rush home, because there he was waiting for the dog, which needs to walk and feed. And the words “I love you” a man can say to his parents or sister. Work, too, sometimes presents surprises and makes a man spend more time on it than he planned.
Recommended articles on the subject:
How to decide to break up with a married man: tips from psychologists
It can be difficult to catch a cheater by the hand, but your reliable ally in this case will be a woman’s intuition. If you have already accumulated a sufficient amount of evidence, consider whether you are ready for the truth.
Building a relationship – it is a daily work, it is a huge expenditure of physical and emotional resources. However, a relationship with a married man is a thankless job. You will put your soul into it, and the beau will only want sexual pleasure from you. Man, bound by the bonds of marriage, thinks that he does not owe you anything. Today he is with you, tomorrow he will find another mistress. So ending a relationship that is so damaging to you is the best thing you can do.
If you realized that you no longer want to date a married man in spite of the fact that feelings have not yet passed, then you need to prepare for the passage of four stages:
- Set yourself up for the end of the relationship.
It’s one thing to decide that it’s over, and it’s quite another to accept that choice, to set yourself up to make it happen, not to indulge yourself and not to feel sorry for yourself. Take the first step – the hardest, especially if you realize that you are burning all bridges, and that there is no way back.
- Take a sober look at the situation
In this case, you will have to make a decision about the future of your relationship with your beloved. Concentrate your attention on the fact that the relationship with a married man destroys your personality, makes you unhappy, does not give to reveal all the potential of love and care that is hidden in your soul.
Try to completely change your behavior to speed up the breakup. After all, a man is attracted to you by certain actions, manners, words, caring. Exclude everything he likes in your relationship. Dramatically change your behavior, become a cold and calculating lady-vamp, if before you were a hearty and gentle dandelion.
- Be open about the breakup.
The most direct, but not the most reliable way to break up with your lover – openly tell him about it. You need to tell him firmly that you do not agree to play second fiddle forever, that you want more out of life. The main thing – do not give in to emotions and do not give vent to tears. Otherwise, the man sees your weakness and decide that all is not lost, that you can talk to save the relationship.
Experts in the psychology of relationships advise to rehearse the conversation in front of the mirror, so that, firstly, to throw out all the negative emotions, and secondly, to analyze your weaknesses and work on mistakes.
So, the question “how to understand that a man is married, but hides” is no longer before you. The truth has become clear, the deception is revealed. Further developments largely depend on you. You can agree to a relationship with a married man, and you can dare to break up. If you choose the second option, then prepare for severe emotional distress. After all, the heart has no command, you have already managed to become attached to the cheater and to make plans for the future. Try to apply reason and remember that you will not find true happiness in this relationship. Throw out everything that reminds you of the former lover, find a new hobby, socialize more with friends and go on a date.
Soon you will definitely meet your love, which will not have to share with anyone and with whom you will find the long-awaited happiness.
Thank you for reading this article to the end
Hi, my name is Yaroslav Samoilov. I am an expert in relationship psychology and over the years of practice I have helped more than 10,000 girls to meet worthy soulmates, build harmonious relationships and return love and understanding to families that were on the verge of divorce.
More than anything, I am inspired by the happy eyes of my students who meet the people of their dreams and enjoy a truly vibrant life.
My goal is to show women a way to develop relationships that will help them create a synergy of success and happiness!
Hi, I’m Yaroslav Samoilov, a certified psychologist and an expert in Men and Women relationships since 2014. I teach women to understand male psychology/build harmonious relationships and become happier – for this I founded this blog and educational online courses, which have been taken by more than 50,000+ female participants.
If you’re interested to know how I became a psychologist – click on the link/read and subscribe to my social networks.
15 signs that he is married
Dr. House used to say that everyone lies, but we know that men lie the most. Our dear members of the stronger sex often have a need to go “left-handed. This cheers them up, gives them confidence and helps them escape from the oppressive family life. Here’s just very unpleasant to find out that you have your beloved is not the only and you took an insulting role of lover. How to understand that a man is actually married?
False signs
There are a number of signs that (according to many women) clearly indicate the presence or absence of the guy’s wife. However, experience (including mine) has shown that these “beacons” are not reliable evidence.
1) He has a ring mark. Does the guy have a faint streak on his finger? So what? He could be divorced, he could be wearing a decorative ring and lose it.
2) He doesn’t wear an engagement ring. Lack of a wedding band is also no reason to relax. Some men disguise the mark by removing the wedding ring and putting a ring in its place.
3) You have a gut feeling that he’s married/not married. Women’s gut feeling is a myth. We love to attribute superpowers, because it flatters the ego. A well-developed intuition is actually based on logic: our brain subconsciously marks the warning signs and concludes – a man is married. But in most cases, this “feeling” is only the result of jealousy, excessive anxiety, or arises from lack of self-confidence after the failures of past relationships. In other words: get burned by the milk and blow on the water.
Real signs of a married man.
The surest way to make sure that your beloved is not married – to demand a passport. Yes, it is rude, yes he may take offense and run away. But we need adequate men who humorously hold out the book, calming our nerves. Except that a passport will not help determine whether he has a common-law wife. Let’s study the other symptoms of a married man.
1. He’s dropping phone calls.
We all drop phone calls from time to time. The hundredth time the provider operator yells, the dentist imposes on you another dental cleaning – the reasons to drop the call are plentiful. But it’s worth paying attention to exactly how the man blocks the call. If he’s freaking out and yelling about the client and telling you exactly how the client got to him, not everything is super. Either he’s telling the truth, or he’s skillfully lying. If you’ve never seen the guy dealing with business matters over the phone, there’s a risk of lying. He’s probably getting calls from his spouse.
2) He doesn’t introduce you to his friends and family.
This isn’t weird at first: you haven’t really bonded and he doesn’t have a good reason to make you a part of his life. But if you’ve been together for a few months and you still haven’t seen his friends and family, he’s either an orphan unsociable or afraid to introduce you because he’s married.
3. he doesn’t go to crowded places with you and likes dark rooms
The groom is very afraid of being caught in the act. When inviting a girl on a date, he will choose places where there is little chance of meeting his wife, her relatives or acquaintances. Particularly popular are cinemas, where in the darkness of the room cheater can relax. He will pick clubs and restaurants somewhere in the suburbs, or offer to go to another city for a couple of days, supposedly to “unwind.
4. he talks on the phone in another room
If a man goes out to talk in another room under any circumstances, that’s okay. Take me, for example. My in-laws are always interfering in my phone conversations, preventing me from discussing work matters. If they hear me talking to a mutual acquaintance, they immediately pull out the phone from me to scratch their tongues. So I’ve made it a rule to talk on the phone in the other room. But if a guy only answers some calls in a partisan way, it’s time to sound the alarm. Especially when he hides in the bathroom, turning on the faucet for half an hour.
5. He gives tons of perfume that you didn’t ask for
It’s great if your loved one gave you the gift of your favorite brand of perfume. But why do they sometimes give us things we didn’t ask for? Those dung beetles are trying to disguise another woman’s scent that way. Yes, yes, all those jokes about the same perfume for wife and mistress are not jokes at all! Things are even worse if the man directly insists that you use this perfume. Although there are situations where the guy just bought recklessly cosmetics, hoping to please you.
6. He keeps hiding his phone.
Once again, the phone gives away the cheater’s behavior. Some girls are outraged if guys put passwords on their phones – this is a silly reason to be offended, because our smartphones have a lot of valuable information and it’s better to protect yourself in case of loss or theft. But if a guy hides his phone from you in all the corners, drags it even to the toilet, and next to you flips the device screen down – something is wrong…
7. ♪ He’s got your number under a man’s name ♪
Dial it, as if by chance, when the man’s phone is in your field of vision. If your number popped up under a cute nickname (Sweetie, Sweetheart, Sunshine), then you can breathe easy. If you are listed under your own name, there is no cause for concern, but if you have his Vasya, Kolya, Dude from work, and so on, then grab the plague for whiplash and arrange an interrogation with the passion. Who’s he afraid of? Who won’t like that he gets a lot of phone calls from his girlfriend?
8. He doesn’t pay with a credit card.
Until recently, credit cards were rarely used in the CIS, but every day we’re becoming more and more familiar with the convenience of such payments. Carrying a lot of cash is dangerous. If he pays only in cash at restaurants, that’s a warning sign. Perhaps he has a joint bank account with his wife, and the man does not want his wife to see his suspicious spending.
9. He doesn’t keep a picture of you in his phone.
We all take a picture of something from time to time and it’s only natural to keep a picture of your loved one in your phone. Does your sweetheart not do that? Either he completely lacks a romantic streak or he’s afraid the photo will be found by someone else.
10. He doesn’t invite you to his house or take you to his den.
You’ve never been to his house? Ah, his mother is angry at home, he lives in a communal apartment, the neighbors flooded the apartment, poison the cockroaches, and so on and so forth. Days, weeks, months go by, and he still does not invite me. Why not? Because his wife is waiting for him at home. However, the invitation is also not a guarantee. Wealthy men often have a bachelor pad (purchased or leased), designed specifically for amorous affairs, they call such an apartment fucktoy.
Signs of a bachelor pad 1) No pets. The pets have no one to look after them when the owner is at work or at his permanent home.
2) Too clean for a bachelor. Everything is practically sterile, because he does not spend much time in this apartment and does not have time to make a mess, scattering socks everywhere.
3) There are few clothes or household items. There is no urgent need for them. In the bathroom, there is a minimum of men’s accessories, the shelves are not cluttered with February 23 gifts of foam and razors. In the kitchen, the appliances are like the creatures in Noah’s Ark: two cups, two plates, two glasses. Friends and relatives do not come to the shag house, the dishes are only for him and his mistress.
4) There is a mouse hanging in the fridge. Don’t let him tell tales about eating out exclusively at restaurants or ordering takeout. Even well-to-do men eat at home at least occasionally. If there is no tea or coffee in the cupboard, and in the freezer there is no packet of dumplings, you have been invited to a shag house.
11. he doesn’t call you by your first name.
I have trouble remembering names, I often called one guy by his ex’s name – just out of habit, without any cheating. To avoid another scandal, I started giving each new guy a cute nickname. Mousey, Pawsy, and so on. Men do the same to avoid blurting out his mistress’ name in front of his wife and vice versa.
12 He gets overly nervous when he accidentally sees people he knows
Oh, I remember an ex (married, as it later turned out) getting nervous when a couple of acquaintances approached him. The girl shot me a sizzling look from head to toe and snorted defiantly with disapproval. Her date awkwardly said hello to my prince and dragged her friend away from us. As soon as my boyfriend saw them, he suddenly pulled his head into his shoulders and flushed with shame. It seemed as if he had been a turtle in a past life and was now passionately trying to pull his head into his shell. At that moment I realized for the first time: mine was married. And we had just had the privilege of seeing his wife’s acquaintances.
13. He’s been out of touch for a long time during “business trips.”
We live in a modern world and calling is no longer a problem. If, on the other hand, the darling has left on urgent-urgent business and practically stopped answering calls and messages, then either he is running the country, or there is another woman near him.
14. He’s choking up too much.
Since intrusive perfume is alarming, some men prefer to perfume themselves. If you constantly have to run to the window to breathe fresh air, and the smells of acrid cologne makes you dizzy, then urgently ask your man to stop scenting so hard. He has not calmed down? Hmm, trouble. The parasite either stinks terribly or is masking his wife’s scent.
15. He gets confused in his stories.
If a guy lies a lot, at some point he’s just going to get tangled up in a string of his own lies. He said he was going to a soccer game with his friends in the morning, at lunchtime he mumbled that he had a doctor’s appointment in the evening, and then it turns out that he had a business meeting? SEAL lied so diligently in perjury that he confused himself.
All of these points individually mean nothing, but all together they become cause for serious concern. If you realize that the man is not faithful, do not be in a hurry to make a grand brawl, smashing innocent furniture. As the rotten apple itself falls from the tree, and cheater will leave your life. Find the wisdom to accept the fact of treason, draw conclusions and courage to live on, because you still have a man who will appreciate you, not breaking your heart lies.
