My husband does not love me: set out in detail

My husband does not love me: set out in detail

The cooling of feelings over time is not uncommon in many families. It is especially sad when the husband openly admits that he has fallen out of love with his wife.

But not all men are so frank. Then wives have to guess from circumstantial signs that their husband has fallen out of love with them.

Factrum tells you how to understand that your husband no longer loves you, and how you can return the love.

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Why her husband fell out of love.

Regular quarrels often kill all the feelings in a man’s heart.

You have to understand that the disappearance of love has to be preceded by something. In some cases, the blame falls on the woman herself, who fails to cope with the role of a good wife.

  1. Constant quarrels and conflicts in the family kill a man’s feelings.
  2. The wife turned out to be a bad hostess, the house is a mess.
  3. The woman is a bad cook. As you know, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
  4. The wife often reproaches and criticizes. Over time, the man gets tired of it and his feelings go out.
  5. The wife stopped attracting a man because of changes in appearance.
  6. The wife is not spending enough time with her partner. The woman stopped showing her feelings, caressing her spouse, taking care of him. The husband feels a strong lack of feminine warmth and over time loses interest in a man who does not nurture feelings of affection.
  7. The man has a new lover, and feelings for his spouse have temporarily faded.
  8. There is a loss of respect from the wife. Men are overreacting to this.
  9. The wife’s level is no longer appropriate. The man is evolving and the woman is not.
  10. You began to spend too little time together, feelings have dulled, there is no emotional intimacy.
  11. Problems in intimate life. The woman is not satisfying her partner’s needs.
  12. In fact, there was never any feelings, the man fooled himself.

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Where does the love go?

What we don’t do to bring love and passion back into a relationship… A new hairstyle, stylish makeup, expensive perfume, sexy lingerie. Romantic dinner by candlelight and dishes on special recipes: seafood, spices, chocolate and other aphrodisiacs. Special poses, sex in unusual places…

At first all this still gives a weak surge of feelings and desire in men. But after a while even this becomes ineffective. The maximum is a short sex that he needs to get rid of. And you are left alone with your despair. You feel devastated, unloved, unwanted, rejected. If a man has fallen out of love, how does he behave? I guess that’s it. But do not jump to conclusions.

Fading attraction and emotional decline experienced by many couples. Overcome it and bring happiness back into the family – it is possible.

The fact is that nature attracts two to a couple on the basis of pheromones – unconscious body odors. Remember how it was in the beginning? His head is spinning, your legs are shaking. A storm of feelings, emotions, mutual desire! It happens under the influence of pheromones.

Such a fantastic attraction does not last long – just long enough for the couple to have time to conceive and give birth to a child. That is from one to three years. After all, nature is primarily concerned with the continuation of the species. Then you “sniff”, and the former smell no longer operates as before, and the emotional peak subsides. This is this decline of attraction and feelings we often perceive as a sign that the husband no longer loves his wife.

In fact, it does not always mean that the husband does not love. It’s just that the new period in the relationship forces us to build a different kind of connection. Sensual: learning to feel the soul of the partner, all his experiences. And conscious: learn to deeply understand the reasons for his behavior and actions.

If you can create such a connection – they can ignite the extinct attraction, even in those couples who are together for decades. This is fully successful for everyone who undergoes training by Yuri Burlan.

How to build the foundation for happiness

With what to start a new round in the relationship and what prevents building happiness?

When you understand the psyche of any person and its differences from your own, there are no more questions – how to understand if your husband has fallen out of love. Any reasons for his words and actions are visible as in the palm of your hand.

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Characteristic manifestations

Let’s look at, the husband does not love his wife, the signs of this condition.

  1. The man has become irritable, literally on an empty place begins to turn on, freaks out. He does not like how cooked soup or poorly cleaned floor. At first he reproaches his spouse, then he begins to turn to insults.
  2. The man has stopped consulting in making decisions, such as changing jobs, moving, business trips, repairs, summer vacations.
  3. Husband stopped touching his spouse, no longer hugs, kisses, does not hold hands during walks.
  4. Indifferent behavior of the man, his withdrawal and unwillingness to comply with any requests of the spouse.
  5. Completely lacking a sense of compassion. Husband does not help when he sees that the spouse is hard to do something, does not care about her when she is sick.
  6. Has stopped respecting his wife.
  7. Instead of positive emotions, his wife’s stories cause only irritation.
  8. The man stopped making gifts, giving flowers.
  9. No longer feels jealousy towards his partner, she has become indifferent to him.
  10. Husband began to disappear more often to work or meet with friends. Most importantly, he is practically never at home, because he does not want to be near his wife, trying to reduce the joint pastime.
  11. Has stopped being interested in his wife in an intimate way. It is possible that he began to cheat.

However, it should be taken into account that the emergence of one or more signs can be explained not only by the disappearance of feelings, but also by other factors:

  • difficulties at work;
  • health problems;
  • a strong nervous shock;
  • the depressing monotony of everyday life;
  • the inappropriate behavior of the wife.

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Way out of the vicious circle

While a woman is suffering, agonizing over what to do if her husband doesn’t love her – her condition is reflected through her body odor. Yes, yes, our pain, resentment, frustration, and depression all smell. A man picks it up through pheromones. And though he doesn’t realize the reason for it – he alienates himself even more from his wife. After all, the “smell of unhappiness” attracts no one.

The vicious circle: the more you suffer, the more your man gets away. How to get out of this deadlock?

There is no point in looking for signs of when a husband does not love his wife. To change family relationships for the better, you need to take concrete steps. After all, everything depends on a woman’s inner state and her knowledge of her and her husband’s psychology. Get your first result – to alleviate their inner state and to better understand your man – you can already on free online training “System-Vector Psychology”. The man will feel it and respond to your desire to return love.

Corrector: Natalia Konovalova

This article was written on the materials of the training “System-vector psychology”.

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What to do to return the love of your husband

If you realized that your husband does not love you, but for some reason does not leave, then there is a chance to return the past feelings. First you need to analyze the situation and understand what the reason or reasons for the loss of love. Perhaps the birth of a child was to blame? Then you should try to give more time to her husband. For example, you should try to involve him in your game with the baby or ask him to read you both a bedtime story. Or you can give the child a weekend to parents, and spend time alone and talk about the problems.

Many women in marriage relax and stop looking after themselves. But their husbands remember them differently – young and beautiful. If you realized that the love of her husband was lost because of the eternal curlers and bathrobe, you need to get rid of them. It is also important to keep an interest in yourself as an interesting person. Try to read more, go together to the cinema, the theater and exhibitions. Then you will have new subjects for conversation, and with them may return and the old love.

Psychologist tips wives, who realized that their husbands do not love, are often based on the problem of mutual inability to conduct a dialogue. If there is a misunderstanding in the couple, if the spouses can not agree on some minor things, sooner or later the love will disappear. Therefore, you need to talk openly about all the problems and issues. You may have simply missed in the past the way your husband talked about what is important to him in the relationship. Such inattention can cost a marriage.

Finally, every wife herself needs to learn how to say compliments to her husband. Praise for anything, even the simplest thing, boosts confidence. Then your husband begins to feel that you need him and that he is important to you. A sense of gratitude is able to revive the love that was lost.

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What should I do if my husband says he doesn’t love me anymore?

From the person you love you want to hear only good words. You want to be sure that no matter what is going on around you, your home is the place where you will be supported and understood. But, unfortunately, sometimes your husband says that he does not love, or feelings have passed. How to respond?

You can react in many ways. But be sure to take into account the nature of her husband and the circumstances in which the words came out of it. If your husband says them at any quarrel, you quickly get used to them and stop noticing them. But hearing it for the first time hurts.

Threatening during an argument

In the heat of a quarrel, emotions run wild. You want to hurt your opponent, to hurt him more. Why not threaten to leave and say that love no longer exists?

In the beginning it’s hard to hear when your husband says he doesn’t love you. But if your husband threatens to do it every chance he gets, it’s a pittance on the price of what he says. Doesn’t love, but doesn’t leave the family? Throwing his words to the wind. And this is not worthy of a real man.

You can act in two ways. First, when you both cool down after another debate, talk to your husband, explain that it hurts to hear this. After all, in fact you love and cherish each other.

Chances are, you will not notice immediate improvement. Any work on yourself takes time and work on yourself. If your husband is not ready for such difficulties for your sake, you can use the second method. It will clearly explain to her husband that empty threats are fraught with consequences.

The second method is based on the fact that you have to catch him right in the middle of an argument. Husband said he no longer loves you and does not want to live with you? Get a suitcase and start packing. Just do not get carried away in the process of packing. Closely monitor the reaction of her husband. If your husband was scared or nervous, he is bluffing. He is trying to manipulate you so that you are constantly afraid that you may lose him.

In this case, he is driven by internal complexes, he is not confident in himself. Otherwise, why would a self-sufficient man throw words to the wind?

Help you can help a psychologist who will find out what is the cause of insecurity of your husband. You, of course, can independently sort out his feelings, but it is a long and difficult process that requires complete trust in each other and investment of mental strength.

If your husband is not ready to change for you, then again you have two ways out of this situation: either to stop noticing these words and put up with them, or leave him.

Husband really does not love

Your husband does not throw words to the wind, these words were said in a calm tone and a quiet voice. And that makes them even scarier. If he said that, then that’s really what he said. But what do you do if you’re not ready to lose him?

Love is a very complex and multifaceted feeling. Very often it is confused with falling in love, and it is known to pass on average in 1-3 years of relationship.

The crisis of marriage

Perhaps you are just a temporary crisis, when one form of love is transformed into another. And during this crisis, the husband, like you, by the way, it may seem that he does not love you. So let’s put aside for now a panic about “does not love me and does not appreciate dear husband,” and give yourself time to think.

What is love anyway and what is it based on? At the beginning of the relationship, he notices your looks, personality traits that are in plain sight, your voice, laughter, facial expressions and gestures. Then he gets used to them and either accepts them or they start to annoy him. Since he is with you, he has accepted you. He has gotten to know you better, knows how real you are.

When you start living together, he reevaluates you. You are now the mistress of your shared home. You clean, you cook, you make sure the house is comfortable. And the longer you are together, the better you get to know each other. There are more reasons to be together, to love and respect each other.

But before he will appreciate in you a mistress, there must be a transformation of his feelings. If before he saw only a stylishly dressed bright girl, now it is unusual to see you in your home clothes without makeup. And it seems that you are not the girl he fell in love with. And during this period it may seem that your husband does not love you.

Such periods are considered crises of the relationship. This is a completely normal phenomenon. After all, and your feelings are transformed over time, you are also overestimating your man.

Couples who have lived together for a long time can hardly boast of animal passion in their relationships. But they do love each other. In their case, love is a combination of gratitude, respect, falling in love, and acceptance of their partner.

So don’t worry about wondering, “So why is he saying he doesn’t love me?” If this is a crisis, when it passes, your man will surely apologize to you, appreciate your wisdom and endurance. After all, not everyone is able to see true feelings behind idle words.

In times of crisis be discreet. As long as he has not left the family, you can fix everything. Ask a psychologist or try to improve the relationship by your own efforts. But in either case, you will need restraint and patience. When this stage is over, your husband will surely appreciate you.

He fell in love with someone else.

This may be what your husband said to get you to let him go. If he found a mistress, fell in love with her, under the influence of emotions and hormones he may do rash things.

How do you act in such a situation? Listen to yourself, your feelings, your intuition. You know your husband better than anyone else. And you decide whether you can forgive treason. After all, without sincere forgiveness is impossible to restore relations.

If her husband admitted to the treason, then, most likely, he is planning to leave the family. In this case it is better not to keep him blackmail or threats. Force is not going to be nice.

He is tired.

Fatigue and especially chronic fatigue forces any body to switch to a mode of saving energy. You’ve probably noticed that when you’re tired, you don’t want to go to the movies, or to a museum, or anywhere else. Just to get home and go to bed.

In addition to physical fatigue, there is an emotional one. Psychologists even call it emotional burnout. This state is characterized by the fact that a person seems to lose the ability to feel, to rejoice, to experience emotions. In their place there is a void that sucks into itself like a black hole.

This is a dangerous condition in which a person commits fatal acts. It is most often experienced by young mothers. It’s hard with babies: a mother puts her whole soul into caring for him, but doesn’t get an emotional return. The baby smiles when he poops, not in person to his mother. Of course, he will smile and hug and tell her that he loves her a lot, but that will happen a little later. For now, Mom creates her “emotional contribution.”

That’s a pretty clear example. But a man can also be brought to this state in a few months. He gave flowers for no reason? Make a scandal of it. What if he’s trying to make amends? He’s sharing his problems with you? Blink back and look solely at the phone. In general, if you do not give your husband emotional return, then his store of emotions will quickly run out. He will stop feeling anything for you. It’s much nicer to talk to friends and colleagues who at least pretend to be interested.

He’s tired and devastated. And even if your husband says he doesn’t love you, it doesn’t mean the family is ruined. Perhaps he needs rest and your attention. You don’t have to start talking a lot right away. You can start with a warm hug and short conversations.

And he could also be tired of the constant scandals and recriminations. If you have a hard time, if you are tired, it is better to honestly admit it. If you do not have the strength to wash the floor, then leave it as it is. Tell your husband that you are tired, you have no strength. Maybe he himself will wash all the floors at home. This is better than to give him a scandal that he stomped his boots on the floor just washed with heroic efforts.

You can also get tired of the constant mess, of not taking care of your wife. If you do not have enough time for everything at once, then set priorities and make a schedule. You do not have to be a super model every day, but you do not have to be loose. And the house also does not have to be in order, as in the operating room, but also the piles of stuff does not inspire anyone to happiness.

How do you know if the love is gone?

Sometimes the realization of your feelings and emotions comes too late. This is especially true for couples who have been in love for a long time. Already formed habits that, as the classic assures, “more expensive than happiness.” How do you know if your husband does not love you anymore? There are certain signs:

  • he is no longer interested in your opinion, he does not care what you think about anything;
  • He avoids talking even on neutral topics;
  • you no longer have common topics of conversation, you no longer laugh at jokes that only the two of you can understand;
  • now everyone has a protected personal space, passwords in phones and calls to friends now he makes, only being in the other room;
  • the husband says he doesn’t love you. And he repeats it on and off;
  • he does not fulfill the agreements, you even have the feeling that he is unreliable, you are counting only on your own strength;
  • he is annoyed by your actions, you do not wash cups in the wrong way, you do not hang towels correctly. If your husband has never been pedantic before, this is a warning sign;
  • during quarrels, he does not watch his words, hits hard, humiliates you;
  • you no longer cuddle, even watch TV in the evenings at arm’s length from each other;
  • in dealing with any issue he puts his own interests first, and his wife’s interests may even be neglected;
  • he makes important decisions without you, when he talks about plans for the future, he says “I” much more often than “we”.

Unfortunately, the statistics is that many families live this way. They just live together, keep a household together, tolerate each other because they are not sure of themselves.

If most of the criteria above describe your relationship, then it’s up to you to decide whether to act. As long as you are together, you have the power to return the love. And let your husband love you so much that no force in the world can interfere with your happiness.

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