8 signs that a guy doesn’t love you
Very often you can come across articles that list the signs that a guy shows sympathy for you. However, in this article, we would like to touch on the opposite: signs that indicate that a guy doesn’t like you and that you should probably break up. If you encounter the following signs in your relationship, you may need to think about ending the relationship. After all, if there is no sympathy and people are indifferent to each other, there is no point in continuing a relationship that has no future.
If you increasingly catch yourself thinking, “My boyfriend does not love me …,” look at these signs. They can help you figure out if he really likes you.
Signs that a guy doesn’t like you
1. He’s not “attracted” to you. This is probably one of the most important signs. This is the one that determines if this is your young man. If you have not ignited the fire of love in his heart and he is indifferent, if he does not feel attracted, then you will not build a happy relationship. You can make any efforts to please, you can perform the most incredible things, but if you are not in his heart, then torture yourself is not worth it. As you know, forcibly you will not be very nice. And here the main role played by feelings. Listen to your heart, it will never deceive. Just thinking about him, your heart should respond with a storm of positive emotions. You must become literally one with him.
2) He must be “dry” in his dealings with you. If he has no interest in you, then the interest in communication with you, you are unlikely to wait. However, do not confuse the lack of interest with a temporary difficulty: perhaps your boyfriend is afraid to make the first step or think for a long time before he responds to you. Let’s say after a fight from him no call or message. So what, he doesn’t like you? Or maybe he is just afraid? The lack of interest has been showing for a long time. You should see in general whether he has time and opportunity to write, call, and how exactly he uses this opportunity or just ignores it. Another indicator here is the fact that he is constantly trying to end your conversation, finds constant reasons to end it. And no matter how much you try to maintain communication, you do not see his own initiative.
3. he communicates with you the same way he does with his friends . This is actually quite easy to determine. If he always talks to you in a casual tone, similar to the way he talks to his friends, then he’s probably not your destiny. When a guy is interested, there is always at least a slight change in the way he carries on a conversation with you; a change that proves that communicating with you pleases him. It can be a special voice, the use of words with diminutive suffixes, a special intonation – anything but monotonous and indifferent. The best thing you can do in this situation is to observe how he behaves and how he talks to other people. This will allow you to judge whether the way he acts with you is different from what you have seen, and if so, how different.
4. he freely tells you about the girls he likes. Another red flag might be the fact that a guy unashamedly tells you about past relationships, girls he thinks are perfect, and so on. However, this should not be confused with when it just slipped in to keep the conversation going (all guys do this from time to time, and it’s really not a grand event) or you yourself asked him to talk about the ended relationship. However, if you talk to a guy and he has no problem telling you about all the girls he loves or has loved, and it all happens with enviable regularity, then you can take that as a clear sign that your chosen one is not the one for you.
5. Body language never lies . If a guy avoids eye contact, sits far away from you, doesn’t try to make body contact (hold your hand, support on the steps), his conversation happens without any gesticulation, or he keeps his distance from you, then you can take all these as signs that he’s not interested and doesn’t want to have any relationship with you.
6. He does not want to look for free time to meet with you, you meet rarely, he constantly finds excuses to postpone the meeting. And this happens not just once or twice. It began to happen systematically. Remember, someone who really wants to meet with you, will do everything possible to make this meeting happen. And for him it will matter neither the time of day, nor the distance, nor his employment. As you know, who wants – looking for an opportunity, who does not want – the reason…
7. He flirts not only with you. As noted above, a guy’s behavior with other people can be used to judge the importance of you in his life. Look closely at how he behaves when he’s with women: isn’t he crossing over the line, what his speech and gestures are, isn’t he flirting, isn’t he trying to present himself in a better light. If you find this, it’s worth thinking about. Of course, you can assume that he’s just a friendly, social, communicative guy. However, if he behaves the same way with other girls as he does with you, then he has no special interest in your society either.
8. He hides his emotions and feelings. If a guy has feelings for you, he will certainly reveal his feelings sooner or later. And it’s not even a matter of words. This will be evident in himself (his actions, his gaze, his speech). If the guy doesn’t show any emotion, however, the best thing you can do is to give him some space and freedom. Just to make sure you’re not wasting your time on him. Let the initiative in the relationship move completely into his hands. If you do not see much change, then the continuation of this same relationship you are unlikely to wait…
He does not love me – psychologist answers.
Articles of Psychology of Love
He does not love me – why does it hurt so much? Life is like an old silent movie. Black and white, no smell, no sound… He doesn’t need me. But I love him. How do I understand why this happens? Is there anything I can do, either forget him or fall in love with him? Why am I so worried and suffering? In this article, we’ll look at the answers to all these difficult questions. Read carefully, dear reader. I will try to help in word and advice.
Well, he does not love me!
“….He doesn’t love you! – With those words, his new girlfriend slammed the door in my face. He would never have said that himself. This girl had been listed for months as just “a friend to talk to, to discuss hockey, she was into hockey, too. So, one day, I went to his house. I came unannounced, because my heart was aching. I rang the doorbell. Lights on, car parked in the driveway. So she’s home. Oh, the door wouldn’t open. And it wasn’t until I text-bombed him that he said he wasn’t alone. And she opened the door. To say that he does not love me…”
Realizing, believing that you are not loved and not needed is very hard, sometimes impossible.
Your own psychic PROJECTION comes into play. Projection is a phenomenon in psychology, when you attribute to another person what you yourself feel about him. If you love, it seems to you that you must be loved in return.
And, then, all you have to do is face facts. Because facts are inexorable. We can fantasize all we want. But the facts will tell the whole truth.
I HATE that he doesn’t love me – fact #1.
If a girl says she “isn’t sure he loves me,” she probably does.
Why did I refer to this as a fact? Because we are creatures who read information in more than just words.
According to psychological studies, only 7% of information is conveyed by words. The other 93% we get through nonverbal communication. These are facial expressions, gestures, a variety of signs from a man, postures, energy.
So, no matter what the man says to you, you perfectly read his real attitude towards you. Especially since many girls have a high level of mental sensitivity and empathy (the ability to feel another).
In addition to the fact that we can read the man’s feelings by his non-verbalism, there are other obvious signs, by which you can accurately understand that the man does not love you. His behavior, his actions are also the facts, which, despite your desire that he loves you, speak for themselves.
And looking at these facts, one day you say “I do not believe that he loves me”. What are these signs? –
SIGNS that a man doesn’t love you – Fact #2.
1.He said he doesn’t love me.
A man can say this for two reasons.
The first is that he is telling the truth so that you will get off his back and understand everything.
The second – he thus manipulates you, trying to break your will, to bend you, to subjugate you psychologically. That is, in the second case, he is trying to trick you into the desired behavior in such a cruel way.
And, now, be careful. A loving man will never do neither the first nor the second. After all, “the dick is not so sweet. It makes no difference, he told you that he does not love you, or cruelly manipulates you. Because he does not love you – in both cases!
If a man just “doesn’t say he loves me,”
That’s another case. Here it is more important to focus on his actions, saying that he loves you – help, care, attention, gifts, desire to be with you.
You know, among a lot of men there are those who in the family just did not learn to say “I love you. Well they do not know how! However, this does not always mean that he certainly does not love. In addition to his actions, it is important to focus on non-verbal signs of sincere interest in you, such as:
By sight, especially the dilated pupils, you can see that a man to you is not indifferent. A little training – and you will begin to notice these very dilated pupils and a glint in his eyes when he looks at you.
But, look, don’t confuse them with a situation where the lighting is just dark or he has drunk some psychoactive substances. Because they also make his pupils shine and dilate.
Aside from the look, the urge to touch you.
He will hold your hand, breathe your hair, stroke your head. The desire to touch in this case is a pronounced tenderness.
He will make you laugh as hard as he can and be happy if he succeeds. Men really like it when the woman they love laughs at his various jokes.
These are the non-verbal signs a man gives you that he loves you, even if he doesn’t say out loud that he loves you.
2. he is irritated, and everything about you he “doesn’t like, everything doesn’t like.
And that’s when you get a lot of “I don’t know if he loves me.”
No matter what you do, you can’t please him. And yet, the girl may be very attractive, well-groomed, smart, and so on. No, she does not. But what is love as a concept? It’s when we like something or someone VERY much, – that is love. It’s simple.
3. he doesn’t love me, but he’s dating.
There’s an expression, “A man is always with you for one of two reasons: either he loves you or he uses you.” It’s harsh, but it’s true. If a man is dating a girl, but she’s “not sure if he loves me.” That means she feels that he’s taking advantage of her.
This, in fact, happens quite often. And, this situation stays in your life until you want it to stop and change everything.
A guy can take advantage of what?
In addition to physical intimacy, a guy (man) can use a girl as a mental object, especially if you tend to be helpful by nature. Then, you are classified as a psychological donor. These are the kind of people who are sensitive, empathic, and ready to be compassionate and helpful.
In this case, every time a woman feels devastated after communicating with him. She feels like she’s been fucked good, but not thanked symmetrically for it. And, I repeat: you will have this situation exactly as long as you yourself don’t want it. And, you will stop it.
4. “He doesn’t love me as a woman”, “He doesn’t want me”.
Or, “The man does not see me as beautiful, does not say that I am beautiful. Doesn’t admire me. Doesn’t post pictures of us together on social media (why?). And, as a result of all this outrage, you realize “he doesn’t love me as a woman.”
Although, at the same time, may well spend the night at your place, eating your cakes and soups. And, talk in your company about politics and life. Even if he tells you that he cares about you, it may be true. But you’re a woman. You want to be loved, wanted. Not a comrade in a skirt.
Author: Catherine Kholodova, psychologist. You can sign up to see me ONLINE consultation over Skype, WhatsApp, Skype, Telegram, Weber
He LOVED THE BFF and not me – Fact #3
Talking to girls who met on a dating site and quickly got into a relationship with an unfamiliar man, I noticed a recurring nuance.
After a while it often turns out that the guy recently got out of a relationship. And he still has feelings for his previous girlfriend. And he came to the site just to “patch up the breakup wound. In this case, the new woman can be sure that the man to her with all his heart.
But, no, he just licks the wounds, distracts himself, so to speak.
The situation is very unpleasant and fraught with the fact that if the former suddenly decides to rehabilitate the relationship. He doesn’t hesitate to leave the new girl for the old one.
Ah, you’ve already had time to fall in love. You’ve already made plans. And, in your mind, you’ve created a family and had children with this man.
He goes back to his ex, and you are left with a broken heart and bitter thoughts of “He never loved me. He loved his ex, not me.” That’s right, he never loved you.
That’s why I always urge women, girls – look at him for at least six months! Don’t rush to make plans and dream about marriage! It’s quite possible that a man is still with his ex-girlfriend in his head and heart. So you can meet, communicate, quietly learn from him what he has in mind.
Do not hurry with your plans and conclusions.
Our wonderful psychologist M. Litvak has a concept of “productive stage of the relationship. According to this concept, the strongest relationships are possible when you have been together production stage.
In other words, worked together, together you learn. That’s when you long observe the person, what his character. Whether he was in a relationship. And, if he was, what became of his relationship and his ex?
In today’s conditions, when the vast majority of people get acquainted not necessarily through the production stage, but through dating sites, – it is very important NOT to rush to conclusions! So that you don’t end up with the bitter disappointment of “He just didn’t love me. He loves someone else, not me.”
If he never loved you and still loves someone else and not you, all we have to do is accept that fact and experience it as a loss.
Yes, it is a loss. It is the shattering of an illusion, and it hurts. But, the sooner you realize for yourself the truth – that he loves the ex and not you, the sooner your healing will take place.
Why? Because as long as we stay in an illusion and hope, we are still the head in the relationship. Even if we are physically out of them.
But once we have accepted for ourselves the bitter painful truth – that’s when we are able to get out psychologically from this relationship that we don’t need. And we can let the man go. We can forget this man forever.
WHY doesn’t he love me?
“Oh, the cry of women of all times: My darling, what have I done to you?” M. Tsvetaeva
This is not going to be a test or a guessing game, but a professional psychological answer. Which is dictated by life and my counseling experience.
Nothing, girls. Nothing you have not done. You are not loved at all because you are:
- Not thin enough/not fat enough.
- Not pretty enough/ too pretty.
- Too emotional/non-emotional
- Too fast/slow
- Too dumb/smart (scholarly)
- Extremely vivacious, energetic/homely quiet
- Too sociable/not sociable enough
- And so on, the list goes on.
- But, the main point, I think, is clear.
“I feel bad, he doesn’t love me, there’s something wrong with me…”. I remember there was a show on TV a long time ago. It was called Love at First Sight. Three guys and three girls, who didn’t know each other before, were talking about themselves one by one. Then they went into a room and “voted” for the one they liked. Then, the results were announced.
And if a boy and a girl chose each other, everyone was happy, because they made a couple. But sometimes there wasn’t a couple. Because the one who liked one chose the other. And so they picked at random, and then there was no couple. It’s about “We choose, we are chosen, how it often does not coincide.
So the answer to “why we are not loved” is NOT in us. And, it is not in your power. Just as it is not in our power to make someone love us.
Why? Because a person’s choices are influenced by a thousand factors. All of these factors are the result of his years of life experience and the totality of his unconscious beliefs.
There are also influences of his upbringing, and his personal appearance preferences.
And he doesn’t necessarily like pretty girls, no. He will like something familiar, habitual from childhood, most often resembling his mother or an actress (singer) whom he saw on TV in his childhood, and who has fallen into his heart. Or the first girl from kindergarten, who kissed as a child.
And, then the question is not, “Why doesn’t he love me?”
“WHAT TO DO if he doesn’t love me” is the more important question.
“Don’t need it, I love him.” What to do?
The right thing to do is quit the activity of knocking on a door that is closed to you.
Why? Waste your time, energy, youth and energy on someone who doesn’t need you. Go where you are loved. There are always people who like us, who enjoy interacting with us. They love us.
Women often say to me, “Yes, there’s an admirer. But, ew, I don’t like him.” And here, this one, the scoundrel who doesn’t want it – I love him.
This is the situation we always see in a destructive attachment scenario.
This attachment script is formed during childhood with the people closest to you – mom, dad, siblings (siblings are siblings).
For a variety of reasons, your (unconscious!) script is written: you have to love someone who doesn’t love you (or, loves you badly). That is, for you as a child, love was glued to suffering.
It could have been anything: traumatic situations of rejection, abandonment, rejection, invisibility trauma, toxicity in family relationships, moral abuse (or physical abuse), and so on.
But whatever it is, the result is this: The person I love is the one who is hurting me.
If this program is written into your unconscious, then that is where those who love are “eww. Ah, give me this one “I feel bad, he doesn’t love me – I’ll take it. What I need.”
He doesn’t love me MORE signs – Top 7
Signs that a man doesn’t love me anymore, in addition to those listed above, are always visible.
Why? Because A guy (husband, man) won’t play the role of being in love unless he’s interested in your money or other perks.
Therefore, from caring, gentle, sensitive he:
- Turns into irritable at almost every word and deed you say or do. He won’t necessarily speak out. But, you can see the irritation (or disgust) in his facial expression.
- Becomes bored around you. He is reluctant to talk, lazy. Especially, to support some important conversations for you. He is bored, he is lethargic. As if he wants to do more interesting things as soon as possible.
- He does. Something else is much more interesting to him now than you. Therefore, he burrows to refuse to spend time together.
- In addition, infidelity or simply, interest in other girls (women), which he poorly disguises.
- Gone are the compliments. He no longer sees you as beautiful, smart, wonderful.
- He may be outright telling you that he doesn’t love you anymore.
- The main sign – you just FEEL all your skin, heart and soul this imbalance of importance – “He does not love me, I used to love. But, now, he definitely doesn’t.” At the same time, you are hitting yourself to “prove your love” to him. Hoping, thus, to return his interest back. But, there is no effect. It seems to you, “I love and he doesn’t see it.”
Conclusion. Get over unrequited love and become stronger. Tell yourself: Let him not love me. I will move on, and I will meet my happiness!