Five peculiarities of male love that differ from female love
A day without a book is a bad day. An experienced editor, a ruthless but fair critic.
Expert – Margarita Lopukhova.
Family psychologist. For eight years I have been saving “family units” from disintegration. I help couples regain love and understanding.
Men and women. We are so different and opposite in many ways that it is not clear how we can understand each other. Not for nothing, the book “Men from Mars, Women from Venus” in 1990 was the best-selling of the field of popular science literature. John Gray first revealed to the general public the truth about the enormous psychological difference between the sexes.
When it comes to falling in love, men and women experience feelings differently at every stage of the relationship, from the first date through a storm of hormonal cocktail to the crazy sex phase. Experts answer some questions about exactly what the biggest differences are for opposite sexes from “I just met you” to “I’m head over heels in love with you.”
In a study by Medicis Aesthetics Medical Center, 1,000 men and women were surveyed about relationships, marriage, divorce, and intimate attraction. Experts found that, appearance matters to both sexes, but for men to experience physical attraction, it is much more important.
“Men are initially attracted to a woman’s appearance, only after that can they ‘discern’ a person and only after careful analysis of their feelings can they move on to declaring their love for a woman,” says Nicole Martinez, a psychology doctor at Illinois State. – “They don’t think about what good qualities a girl has so they can then be charmed by her looks.”
Sure, they may find a woman much prettier once they get to know her better, but it’s the way she looks that gets their attention first.
Women are characterized by purposefulness in relationships, and they are thoughtful about the very idea of love. Men are more likely to be impetuous and assertive in their actions as soon as they start to feel feelings. As soon as a guy notices something special in a girl, he immediately goes on the offensive and starts to force the relationship, trying to develop it as soon as possible. If he is strongly infatuated, he is totally in the power of his feelings and can make a hasty decision to make a serious step.
Women are more deliberate in all aspects of love and weigh each step of the relationship more carefully. “By nature, men act more impulsively where women are cautious and seek conditions in which they will feel confident,” says Dr. Martinez. – “When a man is in love, he is more likely to act on sudden impulses than a woman, who is inherently observant, waiting until she knows for sure how she should act.”
Focusing on physical intimacy
Girls can send “dirty” sex messages when they’re in the mood, but for them it’s more of a game to tease guys. For men, on the other hand, sex, with a woman they like, is always at the forefront of their thoughts, and for the sake of it they are willing to do many crazy things.
“Research shows that men’s view of love is more likely to focus on the physical aspects of passion rather than the emotional stability,” states Esther Boykin, a licensed marriage and family therapist. – “That’s why men are more lustful, and that’s hard to deny. But love is a multifaceted concept and should not be assumed to be less deep and meaningful for members of the male sex.”
Cheerfulness and lightness of temper.
That’s right: when a guy tries to cheer up a girl, it’s a sure sign that he likes her. Men look for partners with whom they can easily get along, feel comfortable and relaxed, have fun with them, not overanalyzing any problems. Women, on the other hand, are more attracted to partners who are intelligent and reliable, who take herself and many aspects of life seriously.
Openness at the beginning of a relationship
“When a guy starts to fall in love, he may think about all sorts of things, like how this girl could one day be his wife. But he won’t share those kinds of experiences with her,” Dr. Martinez says.
As a rule, men take much longer to express their feelings on an emotional and verbal level. More often than not, they will wait until they feel the reciprocity of the relationship and security for their own ego.
“Men are more likely to express their love through affection by initiating exciting activities and fun times with their partner and, of course, through sex,” explains Esther Boykin. – “Women show affection in other ways, such as craving conversation and caring.”
And there are times when feelings flare up or return even after a breakup. What to do and how to be if an ex confesses his love, read more at the link.
Confession of love
Esther Boykin states that in 70% of men are the first to confess their love, “This openness can occur for a variety of reasons, including that they value their partner’s sexual desire as a sign of not only physical but also emotional attraction. This, from their perspective, makes a declaration of love less risky and vulnerable for them.” In addition, assuming the reciprocity of feelings, the representatives of the male sex more often than women tend to bring clarity to the relationship.
At last we can add one more curious distinction. Women are not confused by the fact that they initially did not attract someone’s attention. They can fall in love with that person, quietly and purposefully developing a relationship with him. “Men need the opposite,” says psychologist Nicole Martinez, “they need to feel from the beginning of a relationship that they are interested in a lady in order to become open to dating and first flirting with her.”
What is a man’s love? How men love.
What will happen if you know for sure that you are loved? You’ll be calm and confident, you won’t be distracted by relationship problems, and you’ll be able to focus on achieving your goals. I call it giving into your dreams.
We want to share an article by Egor Gord on the signs of true love of a man.
This article is very important! It’s a base you need to embrace, otherwise you’ll be forever doubting and whining that you’re not loved.
How a man loves. Signs
As you know, I am a man. Accordingly, I know how I love. Accordingly, I know how other men love.
I just know myself very well, I study myself, I observe my reactions. And then I see that other men are no different from me.
We all have the same nature, let the psychologists shoot themselves proving otherwise, but we are the same! THE SAME!
We are one big herd, living according to social laws. And most people pay attention to the social signs of love.
I want you to start paying attention to the NATURAL laws of love and our physiology.
This will be the basis of this article – on human nature.
So, what are the signs of a man who truly loves a woman?
2. he talks straight about love.
3. He knows how to forgive.
4. he thinks a lot about a woman.
5. HE RESPECTS THE WOMAN!
6. He does not offend (not humiliate, insult, etc.)
8. Admires and admires the woman.
9. Avoids other women.
10. Blows the dust off.
Carefully, read again the signs of a loving man. Oh, how beautiful they sound! How we want to believe in this rosy tale, because it is so beautiful!
But in fact, all of these signs invented by women. I did not even bother to make something up, I just wrote them out of several sites that were written by girls about how the same love men.
I googled “signs of a loving man,” and the search engine gave me a bunch of pink articles on the subject.
There you go, really – you want to be miserable in a relationship, ask a woman for advice! All this pink snot is crossed out and we read on.
All of these signs are only indirectly indicative of a man’s feelings. They can be in a man who is in love. And a man who obeys social norms… They are not an indicator of love. They mean little in the biological sense.
We’ll come back to the signs of male love a little later. For now, let’s get into a man’s soul and see what goes on there.
What does a loving man feel?
For starters, let’s consider this.
Your mistake is that you compare the feelings of a loving man to the feelings of a loving woman, and you expect these feelings from men!
Moreover, you not only expect them. You also demand them. You ask a man to do what a woman should feel. Offended if men do not act the way you want them to!
You make a real man out of a woman. And then you yourself suffer from this asshole.
That is. Here, you’re in love. And you think that a man must love you exactly as you love him. He must feel the same way you do.
But a man feels differently. Hence the misunderstanding, hence all the problems.
So, what does a loving man feel?
There’s only one thing a man in love feels. It’s responsibility. A man’s love is responsibility for a woman. No responsibility, no love.
What is responsibility?
A man is responsible for:
- A woman’s safety.
- For her appearance and health.
- For the continuation of the species.
These are the 3 signs of a man’s true love. This is true male love, true love if you will. Natural! Evolutionary!
It’s not the drooling you’re used to. It’s not the words of love, it’s not sitting next to you and holding your hand. It’s not dusting. It’s not thinking about the woman you love all the time. It’s not admiring her and telling her fucking lying compliments.
It’s taking responsibility for the woman. Responsibility implies love. Love implies responsibility.
Now let’s make sure. It will all become clear to you now. Your nature will say, “Yes! That’s how it really is!”
1. a woman’s safety.
In a biological sense, any young woman is a mother-to-be. That’s why nature has built in a man’s love – to keep her safe from danger.
What is dangerous in our biological world?
- To be left without food.
- To be left without a roof over our heads.
- Other men are dangerous!
- Well, predators are already afraid of us.)
How does this manifest itself in a relationship?
Being left without food.
The man feeds, gives money for food (gives his salary card, poor guy). At least he doesn’t mind the woman handling the money. For a man who loves him, the money he earns is money in common. His and hers. Not just his.
Some men may see this as a weakness. Like, am I a wimp to give all the money to a woman?
Or the man does not give all the money to the woman (he hides the stash, the bastard) . Or it is a problem for him, then this is a reason to think about his true love.
Staying without a roof over your head
A man in love provides shelter for a woman. Provided he can do it. Well, not all men, unfortunately, have their own apartments. But a loving man is able to earn an apartment.
Other men are dangerous!
It’s jealousy. A man in love will be jealous. He won’t necessarily be watching and making inquiries, but if you give a reason, his instinct will kick in and he can’t help but react.
A loving man doesn’t take his woman to zoos. It’s too damn dangerous! Just kidding, of course))).
2. responsibility for appearance and health
Remember! A man who loves you will invest in your beauty and health. He will not be stingy with money and say: “Oh no, honey, this blouse is too expensive, let’s choose something cheaper.
He will do the opposite.
You’ll say, “I need new boots.”
He’ll say, “No problem, buy them.”
You’ll say, “I need night cream for my face.”
He’ll say, “Get away from me, buy yourself whatever you need.”
The guy will decorate her like a Christmas tree and make her beautiful. The most beautiful. And he won’t lie when he says she’s the prettiest in the world!
Well, and health. A loving man will not bring his woman bags of gingerbread. He will say instead, “Stop eating that crap! It’s unhealthy! You want to be a fat pig? Hey, you’ve already got a belly! Tomorrow you’ll go jogging with me!”
A loving man will force, ask, negotiate to get his woman to watch herself and be attractive. Not overeating, not lazy, he will exercise with her, he will make her quit smoking and drinking, he will make her healthy and beautiful. HEALTHY AND BEAUTIFUL! Because he is responsible for that!
And most men make their girls sick and ugly. Because they don’t care about them. They don’t care that they smoke cigarettes and drink beer. They don’t care that they overeat. They don’t care that they don’t move much and have forgotten about development per se. When I see a fat girl, I realize that her man didn’t give a damn about her, or she wouldn’t be like that. He would have thrown out all the damn mayonnaise, he would have fed her porridge and fruit instead of candy and cookies! He’d squeeze everything out of her at the gym. And he’d degrade her in front of the zombie TV. What the hell kind of love is that? There’s not even a whiff of it!
Three: Responsibility for procreation.
If a man procrastinates with conception, then he doesn’t really love. Yes, he may be afraid of the unknown, yes, he may be afraid of losing some kind of freedom. But a man in love unconsciously seeks to procreate from the object of love.
Even if the woman is against it, or there are other circumstances. Whatever! If he loves, simply during sex, he will take the girl by the hair and say, “I want children from you.” And cum inside her. And won’t let her have an abortion! Never and for no reason!
For me to tell the girl I love to have an abortion! But to the girl I don’t love, it’s easy! Do you smell that? How much unloving is in the air in our sinful world!
The standard of love is that a man will want more and more children from you. You give birth, and he’s already thinking about the next one. That’s when he definitely loves you, and will be the best father and husband.
The more children you have, the more he loves you. That’s a fact!
If your man has made you one child (by accident, as it happens), and he doesn’t want more children, it shows that he doesn’t need you that much.
He’s socially obligated to be a family man, he has to raise a child, and he has no feelings for you! It’s just a habit that he’ll soon get tired of. He obeys society and would probably have left you a long time ago if it were not for society’s morals.
Evolutionarily speaking, when you are conceived by one man, you are out of danger to other men. That is, no one will take you away! So a man has a burning desire for children from a woman he really, truly loves!
A man’s love.
With all that said, the other behavior is just background.
If all three factors of responsibility are met, then a man definitely loves. And he may behave differently in other areas. And you can mistakenly think of it as indifference to himself. Or selfishness.
A man can get high on his muscles.
He can disappear to work 24 hours a day.
He might forget to call.
Or worse, he may forget your birthday or wedding date.
He may forget the nice things you want him to say.
He may not even help you with things.
But that’s the background. The background and your expectations.
Real love is taking responsibility for your woman. And nothing more. Whether you want it or not. But that’s the nature of a man’s love.
How responsible is your man for your safety, appearance and health and does he want children? Think hard about that. It will enlighten you.
Think back to your ex-boyfriends. What responsibility did they take for you? Were there any of them who truly loved you? How exactly did that manifest itself?
Think about this while you go to bed. Feel the man’s love at all levels of consciousness and subconsciousness