The Love of a Man to a Married Woman: 7 Ways to Get Out of a Love Triangle
Sometimes it happens that a free, successful man who is popular with women, suddenly falls in love with a married woman. The feeling, like a sudden flash, catches him, and now the whole world is contained in one of her looks, despite the fact that the beloved is not free. Today let’s talk about how to behave in this situation and why it happens.
Why a man’s love for a married woman arises
It is not difficult to understand what motivates men. Hunter by nature, having experienced the sympathy, can not stop. Even if a man suffers from love for a married woman, he begins to look for the pluses in the situation and, of course, finds them.
Complete absence of any obligations, no remorse due to the inability to marry the object of his passion, freedom of action. What else does the womanizer need? Rare, pleasant meetings, and now his chosen one herself hurries to do business. Home life, worries about her husband and children, obligations towards relatives do not leave the woman time for unnecessary reproaches and caprices.
Man’s love for a married woman is quite “profitable” in financial terms. Even if you want to give her the whole world and buy all the flowers in the world, a married woman is likely to refuse an expensive presentation in order to keep the peace in his family. If you do not live in the capital, where you can still get lost, and in a small town, then from the list of costs can safely cut out dinners in expensive restaurants, visiting theater premieres and concerts of pop stars. Afraid to be recognized, even a hotel for intimate meetings the couple will choose somewhere on the periphery, and thus the cost will be cheaper.
With men, it seems, more or less figured out. But what makes a family woman, a mother and a housewife to have a lover? Psychologists say that the reason lies in the fact that the spouses over the years alienated from each other, lost confidence, extremely rare intimacy for both does not bring pleasure.
The desire to feel needed, an opportunity to be childishly spontaneous, to experience the excitement of youth pushes a woman into the arms of another man. It may be less successful than her husband, not as smart and handsome, but it is with his lover woman receives affection, attention, admiration for themselves – all the things she lacks in marriage.
Five signs that a man is in love with you
- You are unlikely to see a married man declare his love for a married woman. A man in love will try to look deliberately indifferent. However, his ostensible calmness will necessarily be accompanied by a glitter and interest in his eyes, awkward compliments inappropriately, fidgetiness in his movements. In love with a man, especially on a first date, will nervously shift from foot to foot, fidget something in his hands, look away, trying not to look in the eyes. Do not quip about this in any way, let him relax and be himself. do not help a man to cultivate a weakness complex, since nature itself dictates that he be strong. By the way, men in love are mistaken in thinking that they show, from their point of view, weakness. Psychologists have long been proven that in a state of love a man is much stronger emotionally, on such days they are more successful negotiating, close lucrative deals, signing good contracts.
- A man in love changes his speech style. The joker and jester becomes silent and thoughtful, and vice versa. There are those who begin to speak very slowly, with concentration, as if thinking over every word.
- A man’s love for a married woman generates insomnia! Red eyes, shaky hands and a third cup of coffee in the last half an hour – these are sure signs that at night he was thinking over the situation, trying to understand himself. Although for you will come up with a story about a rousing party at a nightclub or men’s get-togethers, for example, in the bathhouse. Of course, you’ll hear about the sufficient amount of alcohol he drank and the long-legged blondes who accompanied him. Pretend to believe it, let him be bold and free. At least in your eyes.
- Being in society, a man in love will try to become the soul of the company and win the attention of others. He will tell bearded jokes, try to become a star on the dance floor or hit all at karaoke. If you understand that all this he does only for you, try to support him, to smooth out the awkwardness of the situation.
- A man in love becomes very absent-minded and clumsy, gesticulating, may knock over a glass of wine at you, step on your foot, not holding the front door, not giving you his coat. This is normal! Imagine yourself in his place. Your behavior during a period of intense infatuation is little different, just an experienced woman knows how to disguise his lack of ability to coquetry, and forgetfulness due to a woman’s nature.
These are perhaps the most striking signs of a man’s love for a married woman.
Love triangle: he is free, she is married.
For some reason it is believed that the reason for the love triangles lies in the male polygamy. But the facts – a stubborn thing, and they say quite the opposite: much more often the initiator of adultery are women. Moves them or a really great true feeling, or the desire to get even with her husband and make him jealous. But in each individual case there is a different reason. Only one thing is common: if a woman decided on adultery, it means that not everything is not smooth in her family.
Let’s not focus on why men cheat. Here everything is more or less clear: the desire for self-affirmation, the need for novelty and variety of feelings, sympathy and love, finally. Many men distinguish between the family and the relationship outside of it, not counting sex on the side of treason, and therefore come home without remorse. There are cases where a man suffers from the love of a married woman, but does not try to change anything in the relationship that arose.
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With female psychology, things are more complicated. They will not assert themselves by collecting connections on the side and bragging about it. Do not fall into bed the first encounter only because they were caught up in an overwhelming desire to give it to this man.
So what motivates a woman who risks her family well-being, and sometimes even puts herself in danger (unfortunately, there are cases where cheating husbands use physical violence), to change his spouse? There are different reasons, but we will try to consider the most typical.
- Tension in the relationship with the husband
Tense situation in the family, when the husband is indifferent or, on the contrary, picky to his wife, rude to her, trying to humiliate her at every opportunity, and even dissolves his hands, contributes to the fact that a woman will intuitively seek solace on the side. She prefers intimacy with a man who will be gentle, able to understand, encourage and reassure.
- Lack of attention from the spouse.
If a man is too busy building a career or giving all his free time to his hobbies, he has almost no time for the family. The gap from this is inevitable even in a happy at first couple. Man wrongly believes that once he has provided his wife and children a decent life, not necessarily to demand his attention. Coldness and indifference close person very lowers the self-esteem of women, can provoke a deep depression. It is not surprising that in such a situation, a woman will plunge into a relationship with a man who will show her attention, give her vivid emotions, will be affectionate in intimate relationships.
- The desire to get revenge on her husband for treason
Treason out of a sense of revenge is not the best way to raise your own self-esteem. Resentment pushes a woman to a rash act, which can later lead to the disintegration of the family. Having avenged herself in this way with a casual partner, very often a woman begins to look for a permanent lover. The offended husband, who does not consider his adultery something unnatural, will most likely not be ready to forgive his spouse. The crack that arose in the relationship, threatens to grow to the size of a universal catastrophe, when both spouses, tired of the constant lies, just break up.
- Sexual dissatisfaction.
Rare intimacy, refusal to accept and understand the desires of his spouse in bed, caresses, which have long become a habit and performed on autopilot, can seriously hurt women. All of her attempts to bring in relationships extra romance – erotic lingerie, dinner by candlelight, light music and pleasant aromas – meet a blank wall of incomprehension. A healthy woman who wants fulfilling sex is more likely to seek and find it on the side with a man who is willing to give her pleasure.
- Emotional indifference
A man may sincerely love his second half, but after several years of marriage he becomes stingy in showing his feelings, seldom says compliments or praises his wife. The woman begins to think that she has become uninteresting, withdraws into herself, perceives marriage as a series of endless household chores. Of course, subconsciously she will strive to be for someone else again the best and most desirable, to diversify their lives emotional outbursts.
- The Search for New Love
Love is a bright fireworks display, illuminating everything around with a bright light and giving a constant holiday! The ideal of a love relationship invented in early adolescence makes a woman look for a new object for her feelings if, in her opinion, family life has become gray and boring. Often such women become the next victim of an experienced womanizer, ready to pour oil in the ears of a new partner. As soon as such a cavalier gets what he needs (money, new position, status acquaintances, etc.), he immediately disappears from the life of his partner, leaving her with a broken heart.
The pros and cons of dating a married man and a married woman
Relationship with a single lover most often brings a woman a lot of problems. Wanting to escape from the household routine, reproaches, misunderstandings, she may fall under pressure from her chosen one, who does not want to share her with her legitimate spouse. The lover can put conditions, threaten to expose, or even himself to go to clarify the relationship with her husband. The end of such a relationship is always unpredictable and unpleasant.
Love between a married woman and a married man is formed very differently. Partners with understanding and respect for each other’s families, not wanting to destroy their usual nest.
Single men prefer a relationship where the woman is ready to satisfy his sexual desires at short notice. His married mistress does not always have free time, primarily solving the problems of his family. Therefore, such a relationship, usually short-lived, the bachelor will try to find someone else or will constantly change partners.
Sometimes it happens that a man meets with several women at the same time. Imagine the shock of his mistress, who cheated on a loved one and received treachery from her lover in return.
A married man’s love for a married woman is not subject to such cataclysms. A married lover who is just like you looking for variety or comfort on the side is more likely to build a long-term relationship with one woman.
Communicating with a married lover, you can not fear that he will guard you near the house, spontaneously call or text, insistently offer to spend a weekend or vacation together, to give unplanned gifts and bouquets of flowers. In a casual meeting a married lover will behave according to the circumstances, so as not to damage your reputation.
The parting of a married woman and a married man usually happens without too much drama and hysteria. Many, for example, coworkers even manage to maintain a friendly warm relationship.
Love between a married woman and a married man is a kind of alliance with the same rules of conduct for both.
The trouble may be awaiting especially sensual young ladies, who will want to fall head over heels in love with a married partner. Idealizing her chosen one, drawing a new life for herself, a woman may begin to demand that her lover divorce his wife, to destroy his family. At the same time she will not even ask if her lover needs all this. Usually such a relationship ends with the man trying to minimize all communication with his overly affectionate partner, and if necessary, simply disappear from her life.
Yes, you can object now and tell me about the novels of unmarried people that ended in marriage. But there are very few of them. Usually, however, the romantic flair lingers just up to the threshold of hiding and hiding your relationship from outsiders. Even if both lovers divorce, they do not always create families with each other. Flaws that originally seemed nice are revealed, demands arise that generate recriminations, feelings disappear. Lovers simply break up, joining the army of free men and women.
7 tips on what to do if you are married and have fallen in love with another
By no means should not take them as a dogma, but nevertheless take them into consideration, because no one is safe from a sudden flash of feelings. So, how to behave:
- Take a breakYou’re annoyed – take a break. If possible, try to be alone for a while. If you can not go on vacation, live hermit at the cottage, a couple of days rent a hotel room, turn off the phone, do not go to social networks. Try to weigh the pros and cons, think about what you’re losing and gaining. Trust your intuition.
- Listen to yourselfWhat attracts you to a lover? Passionate kisses, heady sex, his attention and caresses? Think back to how your spouse behaved at the beginning of your relationship. Why did you choose him? Honestly answer yourself whether you are guilty of marital coldness. Do you need a new novel, if you and her husband are connected by feelings of inner unity, and only with him you feel safe?
- Open truth or silence? Deceived husbands and wives are hostages of love triangles. Save your nervous system, refrain from hints. Reveal the truth only when you finally decided to leave. During the conversation, try to explain everything calmly and confidently, be tactful, thank your spouse for the years lived together, do not offend them. Part as good friends, especially if you have children together.
- A fleeting “can’t live” and “can’t breathe” – no reason to break up the family. The obsession usually dissipates, but the mistake will be impossible to correct. Love between a married woman and a married man is most often doomed from the very beginning.
- Try not to miss the moment when the lover wants to establish total control over you. This at first it seems that the text message every half hour and trivial calls during the day – a manifestation of care and attention. Usually they are followed by a scene of jealousy and scandals. Do you need all of this?
- Leaving, leaveDeciding to break the connection, do not stop and go. It’s the same with your husband: a divorce is a divorce. Otherwise, you’ll just wallow in deception and wear yourself out with understatement. But always remember that you made the decision yourself, and if something does not go as you planned, you have only yourself to blame.
Thank you for reading this article to the end
Hi, my name is Yaroslav Samoilov. I am an expert in relationship psychology and over the years of my practice I have helped over 10,000 girls to meet worthy mates, build harmonious relationships and return love and understanding to families that were on the verge of divorce.
More than anything, I am inspired by the happy eyes of my students who meet the people of their dreams and enjoy a truly vibrant life.
My goal is to show women a way to develop relationships that will help them create a synergy of success and happiness!
Hi, I’m Yaroslav Samoilov, a certified psychologist and an expert in Men and Women relationships since 2014. I teach women to understand male psychology/build harmonious relationships and become happier – for this I founded this blog and educational online courses, which have been taken by more than 50,000+ female participants.
If you’re interested to know how I became a psychologist – click on the link/read and subscribe to my social networks.
If a married man confesses his love…
At work and in everyday life, we encounter married men many times. And among them, there are quite a few who are ready to start a romantic relationship with a married or free woman. Some ladies close their eyes and throw themselves into the arms of the man they like. Others meticulously assess the object of passion, weighing the pros and cons. Most often married men are interested in the fair sex, which suits the status of the mistress. But sometimes in the nets of love and fall young girls. Especially if a man is good-looking, gallant and wealthy.
The love of a married man: the main signs and pitfalls
Married men who are ready to have a relationship on the side can be divided into two categories:
- Womanizers: they need women’s society like air, and the meaning of life lies in long or short-term intrigues.
- Those who are really unhappy in their marriage and find an outlet in an affair on the side.
Regardless of which type the married cavalier belongs to, the signs of falling in love are often the same:
- Eye contact: during a conversation, the man does not look away.
- Tactile contact: he tries to sit closer, fixes a strand of hair, takes the hand.
- Grace: A man in love not only opens the door and gives his hand, but also shows increased attention – throwing his jacket on a woman’s shoulders if it’s cool, brings her favorite cakes, gives her flowers without reason. Signs such as “friendly” slaps below the belt, frank calls for sex will not be considered, because they speak more likely, not about love, and bad parenting.
So, what to do if a married man declares his love? To begin with, you need to determine how much you need this man. And to make the right decision will help knowing a few “traps” that gullible women fall into.
- Hoping for a quick marriage and a serious relationship: This scenario is more likely to work only if the man in love is a very young guy who got married early and hasn’t figured out how much he cares about his spouse. In all other cases (if the marriage has lasted a long time, there are children or there have been extramarital affairs before) the affair ends quickly and has no continuation.
- Confidence that you (according to the man) are better than his wife.
- Refusing to meet just because society considers it immoral to break up a family: if you are one hundred percent sure that you have an ideal in front of you and want more than anything to be with him, it is foolish to give up your happiness. If the marriage is strong, you can not destroy it. If the union has already cracked – then the reason for it – not you.
How to build a relationship with a married man?
Since you need an affair with the “groom” and you want him to turn into something more, you have to follow some rules:
- Do not be annoying: since the man went left, he is used to quarrels and scandals at home. Communication with a nice, understanding woman – an outlet, which is scary to lose.
- Do not be jealous: When the romance began, you knew that a man is married. Is there a point now to throw tantrums about it? The more the heat in the relationship, the greater the possibility that they will not interrupt on your initiative.
- Know your worth: all-forgiving and demanding nothing woman – the dream of any womanizer. Option, which is convenient and for the sake of which it is not worth changing anything in your life.
- If you do not know how to communicate with a married man, be yourself: after all, he liked you just the way you are.
Many members of the weaker sex are interested in the question of how long the relationship with married men. Unfortunately, this question can not be answered unequivocally. If you believe statistics, the long such unions can not be called. And if the relationship lasts a long time, the woman in it is assigned the role of the mistress.
Remain calm if a married man confesses his love. Only a clear head and a loving heart will help to make the right decision.