Man to man: tell us in detail

The 5 golden truths that will help you understand a man

Women and men are different: in their nature, their perception of the world, their life goals and priorities. And although at first glance, the needs of men and women in relationships and love are very similar, you can probably guess that there are cardinal differences between us here as well. Want to know what they are? Today I will help you get answers to the questions that have probably repeatedly arisen in your head: “How to understand a man? “, ” How to know a man’s attitude towards himself? “, ” How to understand a man’s behavior? “

The psychology of male behavior does not depend on nationality, zodiac sign or his place of residence. The way of thinking may be influenced by the upbringing or mentality of the country, but the natural needs of men are the same. It is the same with women: she can be a businesswoman, have an executive position, but she wants to be loved. She has a natural need to be protected, to feel safe around a man, to be surrounded by a man’s care.

In this article I will tell you 5 golden truths that will help you understand a man. Figuring out how the male “mechanism” works, the psychology of the relationship with a man will be a little easier for you.

Read to the end and you will learn:

  • What is the difference between the peculiarities of male and female psychology
  • Is it right to treat a man the way you want him to treat you?
  • Is it possible to change a man?
  • Why does a man take advantage of a woman?
  • A man doesn’t want a relationship. What does he mean by that?
  • What is the importance of a woman’s word

I have prepared for you a detailed and thorough video, from which you will learn the whole truth about men. And you will begin to understand them a little better.

It sounds paradoxical, but men also want a relationship, they want a family. I understand that some people are going to say, “What kind of nonsense are you talking about, Yaroslav? I dated a man and he told me straight out that he didn’t want a serious relationship.” In fact, for some reason he just doesn’t want a relationship with a particular woman, but he can’t voice that reason out loud. That doesn’t mean that all men avoid relationships.

They want a relationship, they need a relationship, they don’t feel complete without a relationship. Yes, men experience it in a less disturbing way. For example, there is a huge difference between the behavior and feelings of a 35-year-old woman and a 35-year-old man who is not in a relationship! It’s easy to explain in terms of natural functions: a woman has children, she has this subconscious need. And the older she gets, the harder it is to do it. There are medical contraindications that can complicate the process.

You may think: “Here is a man, he is 40 years old, successful, rich, he has many admirers. If he wanted a relationship, he would have gotten married a long time ago!” It’s not a fact that if he’s not in a relationship – he doesn’t want one.

Believe me, I talk to a lot of men, successful and unsuccessful. And if you think men like that go, “And I’m handsome, I’m awesome, why would I even want a relationship?” you’re wrong. They cry too, they worry, they just don’t show it as clearly as women do.

Let me make another argument: there are so many weddings every day in your city, in your country, in the world! Are women marrying each other? If men didn’t have relationship needs, they wouldn’t waste time, they wouldn’t date, they wouldn’t marry, they wouldn’t raise children. They would just satisfy their need for sex, use women in their respective professions, and not waste their time and energy on dating.

Truth #1: Men have a different way of thinking

The psychology of men in love and relationships, at first glance, has similar needs to those of women. It’s simple: men want love and women want love. Men need to feel warm in a relationship and so do women. Men need support in a relationship and women need it.

The needs seem to be the same, but if we decipher these terms, we find that men and women think very differently. We have very different perceptions of what love is, we want a certain amount of support when things are bad.

A simple example: a man’s behavior when he feels bad. He prefers to detach himself from the woman, detach himself from everyone, retreat into his solitude, some kind of emotional container. He needs time to recover, to come to his senses.

What need do women have when they feel bad? Share their problems. For them it is important to share, communicate, to talk about the problem. And the more the woman does it – the easier it becomes. I don’t want to convince you that all men are like that or all women are like that, I want to explain to you that there are many differences.

After all, how does a woman reason? “So, what do I want in a relationship? I want love, care, attention, and so on. And since I want that, then I have to give that to my partner.” She tries to give it to the man, and then she wonders: “What’s wrong? I do so much for him, give so much, and in return I get nothing or get some crumbs.

This happens because you need to understand that if you want something from a man, you need to think about how to understand your husband/boyfriend and learn to close his needs. I will tell you one important thing, and you should remember it well: men have the same instincts, they have similar needs. After birth there is some layering: the influence of parents, school, religion, environment, mentality of the country, but these are imposed rules, layering on the primary personality of the man.

It is important to understand your partner’s needs, it is important to study them and there is no need to follow the rule “treat the other person the way you want to be treated” 100%. This phrase is generally true: if you want to be treated kindly, be kind. If you want a man around you to think positively, you have to be positive, too. In a general context this works, but in terms of deeper, natural needs it is useless. The psychology of men in relationships with women is based on needs that are different from women’s needs. This needs to be remembered.

For example, respect is more important to a man than love and romance. It is more important for him to hear that he is strong, he is a winner than “I love you,” “You are my favorite, my sweetheart.” I’m not saying to eradicate declarations of love or to stop being warm and loving. It’s just that respect is really more important to a man.

I like the phrase, “A man would rather live with a woman who doesn’t love him but respects him. Than with a woman who loves him but doesn’t respect him. I realize it sounds controversial, and I’m not urging you to go to extremes. I am urging you to add respect to the feeling of loving a man as well. Respect is taking into consideration, acknowledging his masculine qualities. If you combine respect and love, you will better understand how to learn to understand a man.

Truth #2: Men don’t change.

If you marry or get into a relationship with a man and you give yourself the attitude, “Overall, I like this man. Of course, I’m not happy with this point and this point, but I’ll change/update/correct it,” you’re living an illusion.

You know that I learn English and communicate regularly with Native Americans to improve my conversational skills. So, the desire to change men is not just a misfortune for post-Soviet women, it’s the same story abroad.

Understand, please, a man does not change. If at the beginning of a relationship you see that the man is a careerist, little time at home – most likely, when he will have a family, will be the same. And if his lifestyle does not suit you right away or make you uncomfortable – you take a big risk.

Or, on the contrary, the man is not goal-oriented, he has a moderate pace of life, his ambitions are below average. That’s neither good nor bad – it’s just the way he is. And if you’re fine with that – fine, but if you’re now thinking, “I’ll take some women’s training and start inspiring him! He’ll become ambitious, goal-oriented, his income will increase 30 times” – most likely, this is an illusion.

If the man is a mama’s boy, for example, he will have a very close relationship with his mother, which will affect your relationship. At first it will be tolerable, then you will try to change the situation somehow, and that is very difficult.

In such cases, you don’t have to think about how to understand men. You need to turn to yourself. Ask yourself this question: “If this man doesn’t change and is the way he is at this moment, will I be happy and satisfied?” If the answer is no, you are taking a big risk by getting into a relationship with such a partner. There’s a 98% chance he won’t change.

If you say, “Yes, this man makes me happy, I love him, I feel like a woman around him,” that’s a good sign. If you’re in a relationship with a man like that, you’re doing the right thing.

Truth #3: Men love with their ears.

Men need recognition; they have a real hunger for that feeling. Look at how grown men, girlfriends, act when they meet: “Oh, you’ve got a new haircut,” “And your dress is pretty!” – They just shower each other with compliments. And this is normal, you do not embarrass each other.

With men it’s not accepted, that’s how their mentality is set up. Men do not say to each other, “How pumped you are,” “How successful you are. And if we are talking about men in the post-Soviet space, they do not hear good words in their address.

As children, they only hear criticism and comparisons: “Petya is smarter”, “Vasya is stronger”, “You are not smart/beautiful/obedient enough”. I understand that women who grew up at this time heard the same things from adults. If your parents treated you differently, you had a pretty good childhood emotionally. Don’t get me wrong: I don’t want to accuse anyone, to say that parents and grandparents acted badly – it was just that time. Some people even now are not raising their children in a very correct way.

Now, most men basically don’t hear words of recognition. Not in the sense of, “You’re beautiful,” “You’re wonderful,” “You’re a good man. Let me tell you a secret: if you want to insult a man, tell him he’s a good man. A man needs to be acknowledged for his masculinity, intelligence, personality and so on.

The psychology of men in relation to women is such that it is enough for them just to hear good words. Most people in relationships only hear criticism and are unaware of the existence of compliments. They don’t know that there are actually women who say nice words to their men. But most prefer to act through criticism because they’re afraid, they’re not used to acting differently. Because they’ve never seen Mom treat Dad differently.

I’m not saying, “Men are so poor, go have pity on them. We’re looking at male characteristics so that we don’t have to ask, “How does a woman understand a man?”

It is important to understand the emotional state with which you say a compliment to a man. If you praise a man to earn love, to treat yourself well or to get something from him – it is felt. It’s important to say compliments with generosity, without expecting anything in return.

Praise men do not need to “deserve” love, treat yourself well or hope to get something from your chosen one. A man will sense insincerity. I think that normal men only get better from good words. However, weak men can relax. But you are in control, so you can always stop saying words of recognition to a man.

Many people are afraid of “spoiling” a man. Normal men are only made better by good words. Weak, unworthy men can relax. But you can always control the situation, so you can always stop saying words of appreciation to your partner. I hope you’ve figured out how to figure out what a man wants.

Truth #4: A woman allows – a man takes advantage

A man’s psychology towards a woman is built so that he will take advantage of what is offered to him. Let me explain with examples:

  • A man doesn’t have an apartment. The woman brought him in. The man took advantage of this.
  • The man is out of work and the woman let him lie on the couch, get depressed, or take him into her business. The man agreed to this.
  • The woman gives the man expensive gifts. The man accepts it.
  • The woman allows her freedom to be restricted. The man takes advantage of this. This is already an example of tyranny, an abuser.
  • In a difficult situation, the woman solves all the problems. The man accepts this.
  • The woman thinks she is the main breadwinner. The man takes advantage of this and does not strive for anything.

And there are many more examples like this. Of course, the woman agrees to this for a reason. She agrees under the pretext of love: “We are a team. We’re a family and we love each other.” It’s okay for her to take out a loan in her name or sell a kidney to buy him the latest iPhone. But you, of course, are not like that. You already know how to figure out what a man needs from you.

Not all men are like that. I’m talking about most. An informed man who understands life and the laws of psychology will not take advantage of this. He’ll say, “I don’t want to live in your apartment, because it’s not very reasonable. If you already correspond to the level of such an advanced man, then they will date you. And if you feel that men are taking advantage of you, then you should ask the question, “Why am I attracting such men? What’s stopping me from attracting a businessman/conscious man?”

You probably want to hear the whole list – what you can agree to and what you can’t. But there will be no templates. To understand a man’s attitude and his way of thinking, flat knowledge will not be enough. It is important in 3d, even in 5d mode to understand why and how the psychology of men in a relationship with a woman is arranged. It is necessary to have a developed personality in order to conduct dialogues with men on a level.

That’s why I always invite you to my free course: “Man: The Honest Instruction”. For 5 evenings I will talk about: how to understand what kind of relationship you are in, how to understand what a man needs from you, and you from him, what is the psychology of male aggression and much more.

Truth #5: A woman talks, a man does.

Women have a huge influence on men. With just a word, she can “kill” a man morally and emotionally. Even with just a sigh. The man did something wrong, you sigh. With a sigh you can ruin a man’s mood, but with a word you can lower his self-esteem.

You need to understand the power of a word. For example, a man can’t make a woman happy with words alone. A man can say: “You’re amazing”, “You’re beautiful”, “I will marry you. But without action these words mean nothing.

And a woman can make a man happy with her words, her reaction, her confession, even without action. When a man is happy with you, he is unlikely to be seen in a relationship with a mistress. Perhaps there will be fewer men who have left the family, men who are alcoholics and womanizers. Once you have learned this, you will be less likely to puzzle over how to understand him.

Only a few women know this truth and understand what a woman’s worth is. Lately, it’s become so that you don’t know yourself from a position of strength. You can build a career, become a professional, survive, have a child.

Most only know about themselves in terms of achievement, survival functions, but only a few understand what their true value as a woman is, know about their feminine power.

Feminine power is not about career achievement. I’m not devaluing your accomplishments, but that’s not your strength. It’s important not only to know your power, but to learn how to use it. It’s like learning a new language. For example, I have been speaking Russian all my life, but I can learn English and some other, and speak different languages. And you, dear girls, can pump up your feminine skills. My goal is not to accuse you, but to show that you can do much more. You can live the life that you like and still develop as a woman, explore yourself, discover your potential.

More to understand the specifics of female and male psychology, I invite you to a free course, “Man: The honest instruction. Sign up, I’ll be happy to meet you on the air! Your comment under the article will be invaluable to me.

5 phrases that you should never say to a man

Motivational speaker Natalia Gafarova, an expert of the news portal “BelNovosti”, tells about what you should never say to men.

“Do not worry! It’s all bullshit, the main thing is health! Why are you blubbering?! Are you a man or what?!”

Saying that when a man feels bad (and he can feel bad, too) is such a bad idea. But a lot of girls think that “he’s a man” and it’s not okay that he’s scared and worried.

He’s in trouble, so what? So what? Let him jump in and go to war! There’s nothing to worry about! No man will last long next to a woman like this: either leave her, or go down with a heart attack.

What you can not say to a man dating. Tips for a girl

Men are very sensitive creatures, sometimes one careless phrase, and acquaintance can end up with nothing. This article will tell you what to say when meeting a man, and what you should not say.

  • You should not be nervous. Worry in dating is inherent to everyone, but you can’t let this be noticed by a man. Nervousness they do not like. You should not shake a leg, hit the table top or “crunch” your fingers.
  • You should not make plans for the future right away, and even more so, talk about it out loud. Men are not to their liking.
  • The view that men like silly women is wrong. Men do not like sloppy speech, poorly constructed phrases and the inability to choose the right words. This means that men like smart women, you just don’t have to “trump up” your erudition too much.
  • You can not publicly humiliate or manipulate a man. No matter how he treats a woman, he will definitely not like it.
  • You have to smile, joke, laugh. This will defuse any, even the most tense situation. Just laughter should not be too loud or hysterical.
  • Women’s kindness is a huge plus, but too much sentimentality can scare a man away. Unnecessary tears when first dating should be avoided, otherwise the first date risks becoming the last. In unpleasant situations, you need to respond with dignity. Men will appreciate a woman’s ability to hold her own in a difficult situation.
  • Men like women who have their own opinion, but you can not impose it. In any case, you can not in order to please a man, to agree with all his thoughts. A man will find it boring.
  • You can not talk about your past relationships. A man is possessive, he will not like it.
  • If a woman is in an executive position and used to speak in a commanding voice, she should forget about it when she first meets a man, and in subsequent conversations, too. Rarely a man can tolerate it.
  • In order that the man does not feel neglected and somewhat neglected, all phone conversations should be postponed for the duration of the communication.
  • For a man to want to continue getting to know each other, you have to remain a mystery to him.

“You, as a man – a total zero”.

This phrase can kill even the brightest and most tender feelings. So, for most men, being able to satisfy their woman is very important. And some are sure that success in sex life is one of the key aspects of marriage.

IN THEME: 5 reasons to postpone having sex until the morning.

So by telling a man that he’s bad in bed, you’re just ruining the relationship. Women think that by saying this sort of thing, they will make the man prove otherwise. But the truth is, most of the strongest of the strongest, will just find someone who admires him. And will not prove anything.

What phrases you can not say to men?

Men and women perceive the same words and phrases very differently, and we need to remember that we are different and it is natural.

As often happens – you speak with good intentions to improve the situation and the relationship, but the man does not seem to understand you at all, and as if he hears something completely different.

By the way, it is so – he does hear differently, because of his masculine nature and somewhat different way of looking at things.

So, here are the most common phrases-mistakes when talking to a man:

  • The phrase: “I need to talk to you.

With this phrase, you want to show that the conversation is important to you.

The man thinks that he is about to be “burdened” with something that is not very pleasant for him, and therefore he tries to postpone the moment of this conversation as much as possible or to avoid it in every possible way.

Replacement: “I need your advice”, “I want to discuss so-and-so issue with you”, “Your opinion on this matter is important to me”.

And also, a man likes specifics, so it would be ideal to say, “Honey, I need 20 minutes of your time to discuss this and that with you.”

By saying this you want to get your man’s attention, to show that you need care, that you feel insecure about his feelings and want him to show them to you, you want to get reassurance and regain confidence that your feelings are as strong as they were before.

The man in this case is perplexed – how can I not love, if I’m still with you? If I do so much for you? He begins to feel that you don’t notice any of this, and he loses all motivation to do anything further.

You know that story about – “Why don’t you say you love me anymore? I said it once, if anything changes, I’ll let you know”?

There’s a lot of truth in that joke, in fact, it’s a man’s nature, it’s just the way it is.

Substitution:

It’s better to express your real desires, and the high road is to voice how you feel, such as:

  1. “Beloved, I feel restless, I feel like you love me less.”
  2. “Give me a hug and a kiss.”
  3. “I need your support, stay by my side, please.”

This, especially for the first time, is sometimes very uncomfortable to say, because pride is awakening in us. But trust me – first of all, it’s much more effective for both of you, and secondly, it will definitely save you from conflict over it.

  • The phrase: “And here at Kathy / Sveta / Lyuba, see what a good man, that’s what he achieved …”

Girls, remember once and for all – a man is not motivated by such phrases, only the opposite. You want to cause aggression in your side, the cooling of his attitude towards you – use it more often, it will “help” you a lot.

For a man, such a phrase from the mouth of the woman he loves is equal to betrayal, because it seems to him that she chose another man over him.

Substitution:

Again – start with yourself and realize what exactly you want – shoes, a phone, a car, a trip to the sea or just spending a weekend together – and just tell your man about it, express your desire, and do it emotionally, showing the most joyful emotions that you will experience from it. Remember, how children do not hesitate to show their sincere joy, when their eyes are burning and the smile never leaves their faces.

And just give your man time to implement this desire as long as necessary – leave “room for the feat” to his beloved.

  • The phrase: “You never help me with anything, you never do anything/give me anything…”

By starting the phrase with “You never do anything…” – you automatically kind of cross out everything your man has done all along. It’s a shame, don’t you think? Motivating for further action, don’t you think? Of course it doesn’t. What’s the point of continuing to do something for a woman who doesn’t notice or thank you at all.

Even though you just wanted to show him how much you need help.

Substitute: “Beloved, please help me with this…”

  • The phrase: “I told you so!”

This is just a hit with all women and the most killer phrase possible.

Read also: Jealous mother-in-law of other people. Mother-in-law is jealous of her son: what to do in this situation and the reasons why conflicts with mother-in-law arise

You probably just want to let the man know that you want him to listen to your opinion and advice, as you want to see that your opinion has value and importance for the man.

Except that the man sees something completely different in this phrase: first, that you are always right and the smartest, second, he is definitely smarter than him and he is a loser, and third, that he is simply suppressed.

Even if the man made a mistake – do not “finish off” him with this phrase, he himself sees everything perfectly well. Otherwise, except for aggression, you will receive nothing from him, or, as a result, you will successfully turn him into a “rag”, completely devoid of motivation. Is that what you want?

Substitution: If you really need your man to do what you want, you can just gently ask him to do it. Or try to lead him to this thought: “Do you think if we do this…?”

What to do if the man is wrong? The best thing to do is just be quiet and pretend that everything is okay. Believe me, he will appreciate it, this is your display of feminine wisdom. And next time he will definitely do everything as it should be done.

Girls, good luck with your other halves, and remember – we are different.

“I don’t want to decide anything!”

This is a standard phrase women say at times when they don’t want to take responsibility. “I don’t want to decide anything, I want something delicious and figure-friendly!” – is one example of this phrase.

Translated from the feminine language, it means: “I’ve had enough of you, do it yourself, I’ll never ask you for anything again!”

If you don’t want to break up a fight, replace “I don’t want to decide anything” with the more neutral “I need to think a little bit, we’ll talk in half an hour.” You’ll see, during this time your man will already have time to make a choice.

What you should never forgive a man. What you can never forgive a man

1. When he texts or chats with other women behind your back, then denies his guilt when you expose him

This behavior borders on cheating and adultery. Flirting is a mild degree of cheating.

And if your man gives in to provocation by responding to other girls’ messages, it can slowly destroy the “perfect” relationship.

If your man is in a serious relationship, there is no need to text and flirt with other women behind your back.

2. When he doesn’t treat your job/career/hobby with respect

If your man makes snide jokes or nasty comments insinuating that your work or hobbies don’t matter much, it’s not a good sign.

If he doesn’t respect your interests, he’s disrespectful to you. He just doesn’t take you seriously.

It also means that your man sees you as someone who can’t take care of himself, and he definitely won’t be someone for you to talk to about your problems and discuss your troubles.

3. When he blames you for his defeats and failures

He is a grown man and no one is to blame for his failures but himself.

If a man snaps at you and blames you for his failures, it means that he is absolutely immature and shifts the responsibility for his actions to someone else.

Such things cannot be forgiven.

4. When he is disrespectful and rude to your family members or your friends/friends

He obviously never learned one of life’s most important lessons: the way to your beloved’s heart is through her family!

That means you must learn to get along with your beloved’s family.

If he didn’t, you will feel tension throughout your life together. Joint dinners, going to the restaurant and other events will turn into a solid torment.

5. When he shares your candid photos with friends or acquaintances

A man does not respect you or appreciate you if you allow yourself to do so. Your intimate photos are something that should remain only between the two of you.

And if it was his privilege to see you naked in pictures, that doesn’t mean that someone else can see you like that.

“Let’s not do it tonight. Something’s giving me a headache…”

Burda Media It’s one thing if you’re really tired or not feeling well. It’s quite another when you deprive your spouse of the pleasure you love on purpose, to teach you a lesson or punish you. Be careful: by limiting your sex life for educational purposes, you’re provoking your man to look for a more compliant one who never has any pain.

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