Why a man does not hold and does not let go?
Quite often I get questions on my Instagram: “Yaroslav, what to do if a man does not hold and does not let go?”, “What to do if the man himself initiated the breakup or divorce, but some time has passed and now he begins to write/call and again wants to restore the relationship. Why does this happen and how a woman react if the guy does not want a relationship and does not let go?
My dears, in this article I will not only answer these questions, you will also learn:
- Conscious and unconscious motives for the behavior of a man who won’t hold on and won’t let go
- How to recognize a man’s true attachment to a woman?
- How not to react and how to correctly assess this kind of male behavior?
- Is it possible that a man is afraid of the woman he loves?
- Why in the life of a woman there is a man who does not hold and does not let go?
Often this happens in the early stages of dating: a man appears, then disappears. That he writes and promises the mountain of gold, saying how much he likes you, then disappears for two weeks and appears as if nothing had happened.
Or another situation where between a man and a woman relationship is “not very”. They may even be living apart, and the man is clearly not very happy in that relationship. It would seem, then, that why torture each other? Divorce and be done with it! Why can’t he decide to end the relationship?
A man can live apart from his girlfriend/wife, complain about her, say that she is bad, that he is unhappy, but for some reason he doesn’t want to get a divorce. Doesn’t it remind you of the story of the mouse who cries and pokes himself, but keeps gnawing on the cactus?
In this article, I want to show what conscious and unconscious motives drive men and women in such relationships? Why does this happen in a woman’s life? How are men attracted to her who do not hold and do not let go, can not make any firm decisions?
Already recorded a detailed and thorough video on the subject. Listen carefully, write out the insights and don’t forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel, I’ll enjoy it.
So, let’s start with men’s motives: what motivates a man who doesn’t want a relationship, but doesn’t rush to stop communicating either. Let’s figure out how he thinks, what he wants and what he definitely does not want in a relationship with you?
A man hopes a woman will change.
What do I mean by that? Every man has both dark and bright sides. A man may be in love, he may like your feminine, bright sides, but there are certain dark manifestations that embarrass a man, stop him. It seems that he loves you and is ready to do a lot, but there is another quarrel and the man cools down, goes into himself.
It turns out that his motive is the hope that the woman will change. He still has sympathy for you, but he also hopes that the dark sides of the woman will disappear, will be worked through, or he will try hard and there will be more light sides in the woman than dark ones. I think this is a good motive, unlike the ones I will list below.
In this case, the woman has every chance of making the relationship better. What does it take to do that? One needs to concentrate on oneself.
Maybe you need to work on something in yourself, to become better at something, but not for the sake of a man, a relationship, or children! First of all, you need to do it for yourself, and then you will have the resource, the strength, the energy not to sacrifice yourself, but to share the good that you have inside.
A backup airfield
The next important motive – it’s important for a man to have a kind of shelter, a backup. He’s already decided everything for himself: “I’m not on the way with this woman, I don’t like her, I understand that I don’t want to be with her long-term.” But at the same time he keeps her as a backup. The man wonders:
- What if I go looking for another girl now or try to build another relationship and I don’t succeed?
- What if I don’t find someone better? I don’t like her, but what if I don’t meet anyone better?
- What if I end up alone and not wanted?
He feels anger at himself for his indecision, fear, apprehension, and therefore, just in case, he keeps a backup, a shelter. And what is a shelter? It is a place to which one can always return. A shelter is that space, that place where you will always be accepted by anyone.
The man himself does not know what he wants.
Very often on Instagram, in the comments under my videos, I get this question: “Yaroslav, what does a man want when he acts like this? What is the purpose of his action?”
Girls expect to hear a structured and detailed answer from me, where I explain a clear, specific, logical sequence of why her man does certain actions. But the truth is that many men do not know what they want: they do not have a goal, they do not have a logical chain, some sequence of thinking within which they live.
Today he wanted something, “hit” something in his head, today he missed you – wrote you how he missed you. And tomorrow his friends wrote to him, he is no longer bored, he forgot about the woman, he does not need her anymore.
In some cases it happens that the man himself does not know what he wants. That is, he is immature and this does not depend on his actual age.
If you attract immature men, then be sure to ask yourself questions:
- What is it about me, such a cool girl, that immature men like?
- What is it about me that attracts immature men?
A man is bad with a woman, but even worse without her
A woman is not the only one who tolerates unworthy treatment because she is afraid of being left alone. She feels bad with a man, but she feels even worse when she is alone. Men also know this motive: it’s bad with a woman, but somehow it’s not the same without her.
Yes, she’s a pain in the ass for him, he’s unhappy with her. In his opinion, she demands too much from him or she is always short of attention that he can’t give her. Or he wants something from her and she can’t give it to him. Because she is not a girl who is able to give what this particular man wants.
This fear of being alone, this fear of sinking into loneliness, a terrible loneliness in which he will feel very bad, causes him to be in an unhappy relationship.
You can see this tendency in many girls and it sounds like this: “A man doesn’t respect me, a man wipes his feet on me, he doesn’t appreciate me, he doesn’t do anything good for me. How can I change this man, improve him?” or “Why is this happening to me, why does he hurt me so much?”
And the first question I’m wondering is: “Why do you put up with this?” That being said, I’m not calling for a breakup, I just want to hear a woman’s motive. And more often than not, a woman puts up with undignified treatment because she’s much worse off when she’s alone.
The next reason is that the man is a tyrant or, as it is fashionable to say nowadays, an abuser. Here I can give the example of one of our students. She came with such a problem to our free course, then to the Way of the Woman. Her situation was as follows: the man himself left her, he was the initiator of the breakup, yet he continued to provide for her, he rented her an apartment, he bought her a car, he transferred money every month. But at the same time he told her that if he found out she was seeing other men, dating, flirting, or trying to build relationships with other men, he would stop providing for her. But, it sounded like a threat, not a quiet condition.
Do you think a man is interested in a woman’s happiness? In my opinion, obviously not very much. Most likely, he enjoys having some kind of power over a woman.
He’s explicitly saying that he’s already in another relationship and he’s not going to be with her. At the same time, it is important to him to keep the girl on a leash, at a distance, to have some kind of power over her, making her dependent on him.
Can we call this a healthy relationship? Of course not. First of all, the man takes care of himself, closes off some of his own needs. And of course, for this he pays money to this girl, whom he broke up with long ago and with whom he has no intention of being together.
How to build a harmonious relationship in which 1+1=11? Become a woman who for a man will always come first? Sign up for a free online course “Man: an honest instruction manual. Without drama and manipulation “and you will learn everything. It will be mega useful!
Why do women choose an incomprehensible relationship? Basic Motives.
I’ve broken down the basic male motivations. And if I’ve left anything out – I’d appreciate it if you’d write me in the comments. Let’s move on to women’s motives. Why does a woman put up with all this, justify a man’s behavior? How does it happen that a woman is beautiful, smart, educated, seems to want the best from life, what she deserves, but it turns out differently?
There are several motives, and we will analyze the main ones.
Hope that a man will change
The girl hopes that the man will change. For example, he used to:
- Raised his hand on her.
- Couldn’t financially provide for the family.
- Didn’t pay enough attention to her and so on someone else’s initiative they broke up.
Some time has passed and the girl still looks in the rearview mirror. Why? She hopes the man will change, be different. After all, the guy loves her, he just doesn’t want a relationship yet! He’s promised her a lot, fueled her hopes with his words, his good behavior.
When I hear this kind of question on Instagram: “Should I get back together with a man? What if he’s changed? “, I always ask the counter question, “Based on what facts did you decide it would be different?” After all, for some reason the woman left the relationship. The only argument is that the man has become so good, promises to change, that things will be different.
Is there a possibility that things will be different? There is. But it’s minimal, it’s the same probability as winning the jackpot in the lottery. And that does happen sometimes.
A woman hasn’t decided for herself what she wants
When a woman has not made a firm decision herself, she usually asks questions: “Yaroslav, is it worth getting together with him or not? Is it worth going back to him or not? Is it worth trusting him or not?” . It depends on what you want. If you have a clear and specific understanding of what you want from yourself, from life, from the relationship, from the man – you will not be guided only by his desire to reanimate the relationship.
It’s fine that he wants to get back together, to get back together. But what do you want at this stage of the relationship? What’s driving you? If there are men around you who want to get back to you – this is a reflection of the fact that you have not made up your mind firmly about what you want. This man is a reflection of your own insecurities.
It is common for a man and a woman to have a bad relationship. They can be husband and wife, but their relationship is damaged: constant quarrels, constant wars. And the woman sits and waits for the man himself to come to her and say, “That’s it, we’re getting a divorce.” She is waiting for him to make a decision and she does not understand why if he is not satisfied with the current state of affairs – he does not come with an offer of divorce?
So he doesn’t make a clear decision to divorce, but what about the woman? Has she made that decision? The way I see this situation: the woman shifts the responsibility of making the decision to the man. She herself is not sure and she doesn’t know what she wants: to keep the family or to get a divorce. And she’s just taken a wait-and-see attitude and is waiting for him to come and give her the specifics. But that’s his irresponsibility, he has his own motives, which I’ve already listed above.
If you are demanding firmness and determination from your partner, make sure that you personally have this firmness, not rigidity, but this inner firmness. And you’re clearly aware of what you want, and what you definitely don’t want from life.
The woman is happy with everything.
She feels normal in such a relationship. Yes, the man shows indifference, does something bad, he’s not perfect. Yes, he doesn’t hold on, but he doesn’t let go either.But there are some benefits, bonuses that a woman gets from a relationship with this man. Maybe it’s money, his attention, some occasional proper displays of masculine power. Trace your feelings and if you are suddenly in such a relationship, answer yourself honestly: what good do I get out of it?
This situation reminds me of the story of the smoker: I smoke, I don’t like it, I want to quit. But the man continues to smoke. It’s the same with the man: the girl feels bad with him, but she continues to be with him. Think about this: if you smoke cigarettes and you plan to quit sometime later, you have to admit that right now you need this smoking. You love it and you enjoy it. And when you finally quit – when you’ve already definitely made up your mind, then you won’t need that pleasure anymore.
It’s bad with a man, but it’s even worse without him.
This is the reason I already mentioned – it’s bad with a man, but it’s even worse without him. It is better to be needed at least by a man than by no man at all. It is better to receive warmth at least from such a man, than not receive at all. So often act and think girls who have children who have self-esteem to date below the plinth. They are subconsciously convinced that no one needs them, a normal man will not choose them. They have a great fear of uncertainty, fear of not being needed. They are so scared of being alone that they would rather be in such a relationship than without it.
But they don’t realize it, they don’t admit it to themselves. They have complaints about their man, they want to change him, to improve him. At the same time, they don’t understand, they don’t try to ask themselves the question, “Why am I in all this?” Some of the reasons for the “why” I have subtly hinted at more than once.
Trauma comes from childhood
Now we’re going to look at what I think is the key, fundamental reason why women find themselves in such incomprehensible relationships, where the man doesn’t want the relationship, but also won’t let go.
Age does not matter, a woman may be 20 or 50 years old, she is not a child anymore, but she builds relationships with men exactly the way her parental figure did when she was a child. What do I mean by that? The parent was either loving, or cold, or warm, or aloof, or strict, or soft.
What did the parent’s behavior depend on? Personal problems (in relationships, at work, financial difficulties)-any stress made them withdrawn and aloof or harsh and irritable. And often they extended this negativity to their children.
I am not accusing parents of inhuman treatment of their children now, I am simply describing how it happened in most cases. I think that in many families it’s still going on exactly the same way.
Do you get the idea? It’s cold, it’s warm. It’s detached, it’s attentive. It’s like, “I love you, and you’re the most important child to me,” or “I don’t care about you, leave me alone and go about my business.” That’s where the pattern of behavior when a man does not hold, but also does not let go. That is why a man avoids the woman he loves, that is why he shows indifference and love alternately.
Think back, who in this relationship made the decision as to what happens next? The child or the adult parents? The parents, of course! What was the child’s role? The role of the victim, because he’s weak, small, he doesn’t decide anything. And it was up to the parent to decide how to treat the child, either warmly or coldly.
The same pattern of relationships is revealed in the adult life of the already mature girl. As her parents built relationships with her, so does she build relationships with men, because she subconsciously considers them normal.
She simply does not know how to interact with a man any other way. She may want to, but she keeps shifting the responsibility to her partner. She expects decisions from him because she sees the man as a parental figure. “He wants to go back, so what do I do?” He’s the one who wants to go back. That is, she thinks of her partner first and foremost. And she shows up in this relationship like a child waiting for approval from a parent.
How do you stop being a convenient option?
Make her own decisions, learn to listen and hear her desires? How do you become an adult who knows for himself what he wants? How to become the author of what happens in your life and in your relationships, without turning into a man or a little pony who drags everything on her shoulders?
You need to develop your feminine qualities so that a man sees you as a woman who is worthy of more than an incomprehensible relationship. And I invite you to the free online course “Man: an honest instruction manual. Without drama and manipulation. In the course we cover topics such as rebooting misunderstood relationships, ways to attract worthy men, working on mistakes and discovering femininity. However, you’ll find out for yourself. Follow the link and register. Five unforgettable evenings await you, which will change your life for sure!
Why a man does not let go – features of the psychology of behavior
Happy relationships in a couple are based not only on love. There should be respect, mutual help and support, and then we can talk about a strong union. Unfortunately, some women face another type of relationship. A man can be indifferent, critical and show dissatisfaction with his partner. It would seem that what is easier: dissatisfied – get out of this relationship. The paradox is that members of the stronger sex often do not even think about breaking up.
For women, such a situation seems strange and painful. Why does not a man let go, if it does not suit him? Why does not he leave, does not break relations, and quietly continues to live as if nothing had happened. Maybe, still loves – hopefully the ladies dream. Alas, it’s not that simple. Let’s tell you what makes the stronger sex to stay and what a woman can do to untangle the tangle.
“Man does not let go, it means he loves” as the main female illusion.
“He just won’t let me go!”
This is a ridiculous assertion women systematically come to talk to a psychologist or discuss it on the Internet.
Considering whether to save this union or go forward without turning around, a woman cherishes the idea that if he does not want to leave her, then all is not lost, and his loving soul protests against the breakup.
Naturally, we do not rule out such situations: in life there is always room for exploits. But in order not to be hurt by the lost illusions, it is better not to flatter yourself.
If life has presented you with such a scenario, then this story is not about love. It’s all in your man’s comfort zone, which you correspond to his understanding.
In fact, the truth about why a man doesn’t hold on, but also doesn’t let go, is simple. He doesn’t hold because he creates an imaginary right to choose, and he doesn’t let go because why let go of a woman who makes him happy by demanding nothing in return.
You are very helpful and cozy to be let out of the web of addiction like that. Think about how many women you surround yourself with who dust off their life partners and carry them around like great-aged “babies. Realizing their maternal instinct, these ladies cook, launder and maintain, put up with tyranny and cheating. It humiliates her and lowers her self-esteem below the plinth. Being a “room eagle,” he uses moral and sometimes physical torture.
But when the woman can no longer stand it and, gathering the rest of her will into a fist, decides to leave this toxic relationship, the man turns on the hackneyed manipulation, talking about big and pure love. The “victim” thaws out and falls back on the same rake, convincing herself that the man won’t let go because he loves her.
We assure you, if he really loved, he wouldn’t do mean things.
And definitely would not have waited until you decide to break the relationship, to include his “inconceivable charm” and languid promising voice to whisper: “I love you more than life and will not let go. This is self-deception, because as soon as the manipulator returns you back into his clever web, he will turn back into a domestic tyrant.
If his words were true and his love sincere, he would never inflict moral blows on you, torturing your heart with pain and your soul with tears, because he simply could not see your anguish. And the guilt for what he had done before would not give him any peace, and repeating it would be out of the question.
If a man loves the woman who shares his life with him, he will not look calmly at her mental anguish, will not be able to feel comfortable. Of course, each moment is different in its own way, but the essence does not change
He is clinging to you with every fiber of his being and does not want you to leave just because you keep his comfort zone in a comfortable position for him. Why let go of the hen that lays the golden eggs? In our case, maximum comfort.
Pure love is different. And if by some unfortunate coincidence you got yourself into this quagmire, then don’t lie to yourself. Do not build castles in the air just out of fear of being alone or separation from your partner. Other people’s relationships – darkness, and no one will give you specific advice on how to act.
So we will offer you solutions to the most common situations. And, of course, include your natural feminine wit, go deep into your subconscious and find a hidden answer there.
The reasons why a man does not let go of the woman
Man does not let go, when, it would seem, the relationship has exhausted itself. Why? Let’s find out the reasons.
Reason #1. Subconscious fear of loneliness.
The attitude toward loneliness is different for everyone. For some, it is freedom: internal and external. Active realization of their desires and plans. The opportunity to deal with the inner world and finally be alone with the dearest person – yourself.
But loneliness has other associations. Four walls and an enervating emptiness. Darkness, decay, and hopelessness.
If one seriously fears loneliness, it is as if on purpose it attracts and overpowers.
Men, who are made up of flesh and blood, also experience similar emotions. It is this fear that makes them fill their space with someone, if only not ear-pressuring silence. This is one of the main reasons why a man won’t let go of a woman even after a breakup.
To make up for the sticky feeling of loneliness, he forgets himself in dubious companies or in the arms of other girls, but as a rule, this relief is temporary. Fear builds up, and what does he do? Right you think. He contacts you. A sad smiley face, an ambiguous, “Hey, I feel bad without you.” And your heart beats with joy: this is happiness.
But no, it’s the fear of loneliness pushes him to do everything to be near you.
The question just screams: “What do you need it for?” Well, do you, wise and beautiful, want to be a victim? Or are you afraid of loneliness, too?
It is because of this that two essentially strangers to each other continue to maintain an empty union, where there is not even a spark left, one ashes. So it comes out that the two are united only by the fear of loneliness. It makes no sense.
Reason #2. Confusion in the mind and thoughts.
Another common situation called “Why won’t a man let his mistress go?” He is lost in his attachments. The wife is the rear, there is a settled life, and the mistress is a whirlwind of emotions. Plus, the man hasn’t “grown up” and is acting like a selfish little kid. A grown man, when making decisions, is responsible for them. But for the “undergrowth” it is difficult, so he prefers to torment both women.
In addition, how he, the poor man, to decide if today he wants to go into space, tomorrow on a desert island with a beautiful mulatto, and a week later suddenly remember you. If, of course, you like the swing – up and down – that’s your story. If not, run along. They say that the most stable chair – on three legs, and so this situation can last until the end of time. Do you need it?
You won’t get happiness or stability from a man who has a messy mind and total chaos in his thoughts.
Reason #3. Negative attitude about cheating, or a reserve airfield.
There is often a dilemma in our lives: to wear pants or a skirt, and while you’re twirling both things in your hands, tormented by doubts, your man is in the throes of choosing between you and another person.
Trying to build another relationship and disappear for an indefinite period, he keeps you “on a tether”, unsubscribing on the web or making quick calls “about nothing. What for? What if something goes wrong there? A man tries to keep a backup, “a backup airfield for a downed pilot.” Are you willing to make that kind of sacrifice?
Married men behave the same way, not letting you go free.
We are convinced that you deserve the best. No need to cultivate a complex that other women are more beautiful and desirable. Do not cling to the idea that all men are pathetic cheaters. All of these “obsessions” destroy your self-esteem and have harmful consequences, from a waste of resources to a psychological malaise.
Reason #4. Low self-esteem in the man or in you.
What if they both have low self-esteem? That’s a very combustible mix. The man will not even let go of his ex-girlfriend in order to improve his self-esteem at your expense.
How does this happen?
A representative of the stronger sex, trying to live his life, runs into statements that he is not macho and his train has left for the blue sky. Inner child, wounded to the very core, trying to prove to the world that he is a man-ideal.
The way is known – he will get in touch with the one he forgot about. The woman, who also suffers from low self-esteem, will be happy with this unexpected appearance. She will put aside all her affairs and accept his attention.
Not only will the woman get no moral satisfaction, but she will step down a notch because of such insolent manipulation.
Reason #5. Our opinion of ourselves.
With a woman who has high self-esteem, a man doesn’t play and cunning. He subconsciously understands that she will skillfully put him in his place.
But if your relationship is a series of emotional swings, if a man plays “bluff” with you (then he hides, then you look for him) – you let him do, then this kind of behavior speaks to your view of yourself.
You are the heroine of your life, and it’s time to ask yourself questions.
Why isn’t your chosen one cherishing the relationship? What kind of wrong course is your personality if there is no happiness in love and warmth of heart along the way? Why are you attracting “immature” men?
Answer yourself honestly, and your inner wise companion – intuition – will show you the right path.
Don’t be afraid to fall and rise. Breaking up a toxic relationship is normal, being alone is normal, changing your mind about love is also normal. But suffering and being with someone who doesn’t appreciate you is not normal.
7 important tips for women who have a complicated relationship with a man
1. Understand that you and he are working on different operating systems.
You see, you have different ideas about life together. You want love, warmth, thinking in the same direction, fidelity, and to live with him for the rest of your lives. And you want it all the time, but he only wants it when you break up with him. When by force of his manipulations he returns you and you offer him everything on the list, the man immediately begins to think that you are encroaching on his freedom. Panicking, he either goes into obscurity, or ruins everything with frantic force, plunging you into scandals and treason. Draw conclusions: you have very different desires.
2. Slow down.
Bumping time and time again on misunderstanding, coming hard from the broken trust, remember that all of this can not return at the snap of a finger. Even if you dare to “enter twice in the same river. Take your time, find confirmation that you and he is on his way. Don’t be quick to get back together, get back together. Even the most vivid sex after a temporary breakup is no indicator that it will work out.
3. Remember – you are not the heroine of the movie.
Remember the movie “The Officer and the Gentleman”? After breaking up with Debra Winger, the main character Richard Gere, coming to his senses from what he had done, rushed to her work, hugged her tightly and took her into a beautiful bright life. Stunningly romantic and hopelessly in love. Very strong impressions. But the real reality is less mesmerizing. And, as a rule, the heroine only gets the memories and forgotten objects of her abandoned “hero.”
4. Believe his deeds, not his words.
When wanting to get your relationship back, the man is very inventive. He wrings his hands, in a sad voice gives out such sincere revelations, only to be by his. He says it himself and believes it himself. “And dances, and sings, and sells tickets.” But words unsupported by actions mean nothing. Once he achieves his goal, he will just as convincingly press you and try to break out of his “confinement.”
5. Do not look for excuses for his bad behavior and do not blame yourself.
Who gets into relationships with enviable regularity with those who are incapable of a quality union? Isn’t it you? Who, having a well-developed need to delve into the inner world of another person, not a bread, but give to feel compassion and a desire to save and solve all the other person’s problems, and even under the rods of self-criticism and self-torture? Isn’t that you?
These symptoms come from childhood. As children, we thought that the planet revolves around us, and we are fully responsible for both good and bad events.
For example, toddlers often blame themselves for their parents’ divorce or the family quarrels they witness. It is with this baggage that we enter adulthood. And right into the clutches of sociopaths, egocentrics, and other moral monsters.
Take a closer look at your life partner, and see if there is a line of abandoned wives lurking behind him. And whether you will not join their ranks, if you do not wake up sooner? Moreover, you have nothing to do with the whole story, and his disgusting nature – it is not your problem.
6. Take care of yourself.
There will come a time when tired of meaningless comparisons and sad loneliness “chosen one” will come with a desire to return your relationship, completely forgetting that he himself had trampled everything. Your desire will be to change everything and save the penitent from all the vicissitudes of life. Stop and decide for yourself – why? Won’t you hurt yourself with this unnecessary pity?
7. Make, finally, a decision about the complete breakup of the relationship.
Let it be difficult. Let it give you heartache. You may be frightened of your own courage. But you have to, there is no choice. Otherwise, everything will remain the same.
Get out of the relationship where you are not taken care of and not respected. Take a firm decision, do not resemble the pendulum. Man will feel it and take your game. Hunter in life, he will set a network of imaginary promises and snares of affectionate embrace. Come up with a thousand excuses for his coldness, find a million reasons for absence.
Do not listen to overt flattery, do not dare to look for excuses, and never blame yourself for the discord. Remember the unwritten truth: If a man really loves, he will share your pain, and not become the source of it.
You are well aware that time passes, and the situation stands still. Man does not change. And he never will. He is not your partner. Leave him and boldly go forward to new shores. Let now the situation seems stalemate and doubt tear you apart. Make a decisive confident step away. And see for yourself that there is another life over the threshold.
To avoid becoming a victim of such a problem again, work through a healing program. In fact, you’ve put huge fences in front of you and driven yourself into addiction. No one can help you if you don’t want to and break down the mental blocks that are keeping you from breathing:
- Fear of taking responsibility for your actions.
- Fear of getting out of a relationship that is killing you.
- Fear of being abandoned and abandoned.
- Fear of loss.
- The need to be comfortable.
- The desire to perceive only the truth.
- The desire to drive the partner into dependence.
- Naivety and a belief in miracles.
- Thinking about the person all the time.
- Blaming yourself for leaving a toxic relationship.
- Feeling guilty about everything that will happen.
- Wanting revenge and seeing the fruits of your revenge.
- Suppression of your emotions: resentment, anger, frustration.
It is necessary to deal with your inner world and confess that you have a very low faith in yourself. Should take responsibility for their lives, to work through the mistakes of past years and stepping confidently into the new. You will succeed. Pure, deep love will cover you upside down as soon as you throw off the ballast that is pulling you down and prevents you from taking off.