Why the guy does not write and does not call: what does it mean, how to behave
Each girl in life had such situations when she was anxiously waiting for the next call of her favorite, at least a short message, but he is still not there. Women are lost, do not understand what is happening. What to do if a man does not call and does not write, and what this can mean.
Before you make a drastic decision to break up or be offended by a man because of his silence, think about why the young man has disappeared from the network. Consider the 8 most common reasons for the absence of messages, calls from guys.
Active men can’t stand still, they strive to develop financially, intellectually, to be the focus of attention of friends, family. This type of guy attracts women more often, but it is very difficult to get their full attention. A girl should strive for the beloved, run his marathon with him in the same rhythm.
Busy at work, at university, many ladies perceive as a childish excuse, but this is wrong. Men by nature are aimed at social activity, they need their time free from relationships to solve their problems.
In this case, the duration of the disappearance matters. If a man doesn’t call for 1-2 days, relax and wait for him to show up. If a guy doesn’t remember about you for a week, think about whether you really have love.
What to do
Insults at the temporary disappearance from the network, hysterics are inappropriate. You have to learn to wait, but also not to forget to unobtrusively remind yourself.
Take advantage of the following tips:
- Don’t wear yourself out thinking, “Why isn’t he calling me, writing to me?” Ask about the reasons for silence later, when the man is free to communicate with you.
- Mind your own business: go to a meeting with friends, reread books that have been waiting on the shelf for a long time, do general cleaning at home.
- After a couple of days, unobtrusively remind yourself. Write a greeting in SMS or messenger, ask how things are, and offer to help solve problems.
- If the man replied with a short message, promising to find time to talk soon, say that you miss him, and fondly say goodbye. At this point end the correspondence.
As a side note. Maintaining a relationship with a workaholic is difficult. Perhaps you will be provided with everything financially, but affection, love, attention will receive negligible. If this type of man does not suit you, it is better to give up on the relationship immediately and move the guy into the category of exes.
The guy stopped writing and calling for objective reasons: he got sick, suddenly went on a business trip, where there is no connection with the outside world, he lost his phone number. Unfortunately, not every man is attentive enough to think about the girl’s feelings. Especially if you know each other recently.
What to do
- Do not act like a little girl: do not fantasize horrors and tragedies. Your man will soon declare himself, write first in this situation is not worth it.
- Wait for the message. When the guy will call or write, try not to argue, not to quarrel.
- Ask about the reason for absence. If a man walks away from the answer, do not insist. He has the right to keep the secret.
Calling the girl before a sudden trip, business trip is a good sign to test the relationship between lovers. If the guy found a couple of minutes to talk, it means that he really cares about you.
The man is not too charmed by the new acquaintance. He doesn’t want to fool around with her and continue communicating out of politeness. An experienced woman will notice the lack of interest after a couple of days of online communication or on the first date by the following signs:
- The guy answers questions unilaterally, reluctantly.
- Does not ask out on a date, does not ask for a phone number.
- If the date took place, the man does not make an appointment for the next meeting, clearly bored.
- Does not ask questions, does not show initiative to continue communication.
- Constantly talks about his ex. Perhaps feelings for her have not cooled down yet.
A man’s disinterest in a woman does not compromise her beauty and intelligence. You may not have converged in the interests, tastes, temperaments. Get upset and cry about it nothing.
What to do
With the fact that a man is not fascinated by you, you just have to put up with it. Actively interested in themselves, impose do not. Go in search of another guy.
To cope with this unpleasant situation, use the advice of psychologists:
- Let go of false hopes. Do not think about how to please this man. Don’t expect a call or text message from him ever, try to forget the new acquaintance.
- Start the day with a positive attitude. Tune in to the best, don’t let sad thoughts into your soul.
- Delete his number from your phone, account from your list of friends in messengers, VK.
- Make a busy schedule for a couple of weeks: go to visit, to work out at the gym.
- Actively meet new guys, but don’t make far-reaching plans for a relationship.
Tired of waiting girls often use fortune-telling to find the reason for a man’s silence. Coffee, cards, witch doctors, horoscopes. Whether you will get a truthful answer to all the questions is unknown. But magical rituals will definitely distract you from sad thoughts, at least for a short time.
A guy doesn’t call or write to create intrigue, to “marinate” the girl, or to consider whether he needs a relationship with this lady. A man doesn’t behave this way to anger a girl. He is guided by other considerations: he wants to pine for himself and inflame passions.
What to do
With a guy-manipulator, psychologists advise to act like this:
- Answer calls and letters after a long break in communication with restraint.
- No need to ask where he disappeared to, no matter how much you don’t want to. Pretend as if you didn’t notice his absence from the network at all.
- After a couple of days, disappear in the same way, teach your loved one a lesson. Ignore your boyfriend’s messages for more than 1-2 days, otherwise he may seriously think that you guys broke up.
A young man may not write or call after a couple of real meetings if he has financial difficulties. Walking with a girl on the streets of the city without a penny in his pocket and keeping her interested can not every guy, so many prefer to disappear for a while without an explanation.
What to do
If you understand exactly what the reason for ignoring, we advise you to do this:
- Call the guy first.
- Strike up a casual conversation. Tell him that you want to give him back half of the dinner you paid for at the last meeting. He will most likely refuse, so take the initiative.
- Call the man for a date, but agree that you pay tonight.
- In the evening gently broach the subject of money. Say that you do not care about restaurants, gifts. Hint that there is nothing more valuable than his loving glance, hugs, nice words.
This option is possible even after the first date or communication online. It’s easy to hurt a man’s ego by touching on such topics:
- Mockery of tears, vulnerability, fears, a man will not forgive anyone.
- Comparisons with other guys, ex-boyfriends (not in favor of the interlocutor).
- Discussion of his shortcomings in a steep, harsh form.
- Showing discontent after intimacy, double-speak jokes.
- Telling what your girlfriends think of him. Of course, all women discuss couples and husbands with their girlfriends, but it is not necessary to inform the man.
- A demonstration of intellectual, physical superiority on the part of a woman. This is a powerful blow to a man’s ego, he wants to be the first in everything.
What to do
If a guy really is expensive, really like him, and you inadvertently offended him and you want to fix the situation, you should do this:
- Think about why the man does not call, what exactly offended him. Recall the details of the last date, re-read correspondence.
- Go to the reconciliation first, apologize for the offense. Call or write the reticent yourself.
- Agree on topics you won’t discuss again, put a frame to yourself and your boyfriend.
There is another woman.
This is the most tragic answer to the question, “Why doesn’t the guy write or call?” While the young lady does not let her phone out of her hands, constantly checking social networks for new messages, the man is texting or dating a new acquaintance.
What to do
If the chosen one has another woman, there is nothing to do. Why do you need such a man, who quickly switches his attention from one person of the female sex to another. The appearance of another girl suggests that the guy did not love you with all his soul. Why hold him back, worry about him? Move on, look for real love, not a fiction.
Unexpected meeting or acquaintance online with a married man is not uncommon. And girls are not always aware of the marital status of the new acquaintance.
Dizzying sex, kisses, passionate texts drove a guy crazy, and he forgot, intentionally or accidentally, to report that he is married. After a few dates or chatting online, he’s gone, and thank God.
Married men stop calling or writing for several reasons:
- Communication was interrupted by the legitimate spouse. Now the phone and accounts in WhatsApp, VK under strict control. The man will definitely not get in touch for a long time.
- The guy realized he was making a mistake. He was ashamed in front of his wife and children. He didn’t have to explain anything to his new acquaintance.
- The married man was drunk, he got lonely, or there was a huge fight with his wife. The guy made a new acquaintance by accident, in the morning on a sober head decided not to “hooliganize” anymore.
What to do
Close communication with a married man is unacceptable for a decent girl. You need to tune in to the parting and ignore the messages that may come after a long time.
So, now you know what to do if a guy does not write, and why this happens. Remember that men are set up differently. They can disappear for days for no good reason and not feel guilty about their silence. And women at this point do not find a place from excitement and worry. So the first thing to do is to calm down and wait 2-3 days, and not to call 10 times a day for an explanation.
The psychology of love and relationships: if a man does not call for three days
It is unknown who first came up with this ridiculous “rule of three days”, it is known that there are men who feel the need to adhere to this rule for some reason, just as there are women who believe in this rule. In fact, in the realm of feelings and in the psychology of love and relationships, this rule does not work.
A man may not call if he likes a woman very much because he feels anxiety related to his misunderstanding of how to behave with a girl.
This anxiety is usually the stronger the greater the attraction, and its intensity does not depend on age. Both very young and inexperienced boys and mature men, when they fall in love, may take some time to gather their courage in order to enter into a relationship.
On the other hand, men who are less anxious, those who have had little or no negative experience with women, tend to make an appointment as quickly as possible.
Therefore, the psychology of men in a relationship may allow them to call the next day, and they will absolutely not care what women think, because some of them want to see their beloved so badly that nothing can stop them.
It all depends on the characteristics of the nature of the man, and in no case should not comb everything under one tree.
So what are you risking by thinking that the rule of three days works. You can overreact emotionally if the man will call not in three days, but in five days or a week.
You can either express your joy about it very strongly and scare him off, or, conversely, you can start acting aggressively, or worse, asking controlling and critical questions like, “Why haven’t you called all this time?” You can’t think of anything worse at the beginning of a relationship. It would be better to go “offensive” by buying a pestis, which originally serves to protect your nipples from the sun, but looks very attractive. What is a pestis and where to buy it you can read on this http://designer-lingerie.ru/aksessuary/pestis-c-21_5004.html site. And if it doesn’t work, draw conclusions.
Men react negatively to women’s attempts to control them, they want to control everything themselves. So the question will be received with hostility, or outwardly the reaction will be calm, but unpleasant emotions guaranteed a man. And why should they, if you can avoid them?
You may also resent the man who did not call you for three days, and the resentment then certainly affect your relationship with him if he calls later.
Resentment is a disguised anger, anger that takes on the nature of suffering, as you put yourself in the role of the victim. No one wants that, first of all it is bad for you. In the second – resentment – a way to manipulate and influence the other person to cause him to feel guilty.
If at the very beginning of the relationship the man immediately begins to feel guilty about being wound up, being busy or anxious and worried before the call, then the beginning of the relationship will be a bad one.
Feeling guilty is an unpleasant emotion, it is better to start an affair, especially if you want it to grow into something serious, with positive emotions. There’s a paradox at work here: the more serious you want a relationship in the future, the non-serious you should treat it in the beginning. The more freedom you should have when you first start dating. It is impossible to become close people immediately and forever, it takes a certain amount of time to get close. This is the psychology of love and relationships.
Of course, it is better to replace the belief that there is a rule of three days with the belief that all men are different, no matter how trite it may sound. Everyone needs an individual approach, and you should not jump to conclusions right away, because life is highly unpredictable and, in fact, you are not God to decide what is in another man’s head.
You have to study the man, to observe him, and until you have such an opportunity, just be easy, relaxed and in any case do not spend half a day thinking about a man you do not know at all and have seen only once in your life.
Women, girls, especially those who haven’t had a close person – a man – for a long time, it is typical to fall in love instantly. This happens because such women have an emptiness inside, where there could be love. This emptiness needs to become filled, there is a strong hunger associated with the desire to love and be loved.
However, the perception of love is distorted – it seems impossible to fill the emptiness without the other person – this is a mistake. Love is an emotion, and we are responsible for our own emotions. The other person, the man, becomes only the person to whom we direct our love.
And we can fill ourselves with the feeling of love only when we understand: our fullness of love and consequently the absence of hunger for it, which leads to instant falling in love with anyone, depends on ourselves.
Thus, in order not to nervously wait for a beautiful stranger to call and to react emotionally with resentment or anger at his not calling, you have to: a) be filled with love as a feeling; b) be calm and relaxed; c) be busy doing your own interesting things; d) be filled energetically.
And if you are like that, you will have confidence in your heart and mind that everything is exactly as it should be, you will radiate calmness, joy and confidence, and the pace of reactions of new men you know will be perceived by you as their individual characteristic, not as a sign of your attractiveness. Be sure to study the material on the causes of conflict in the family.