Male psychology why he does not call – set out in detail

Why a man does not write or call? The 4 secrets of psychology

The most popular question that comes to the editorial board is, “Why a man does not write?” or what his messages mean. Fully understand this because we ourselves have asked these same questions on some days…and it drove us crazy!

Why does it take him so long to respond…What does he think of me…Answers are short and vague, doesn’t he like me anymore?…Why did he start a conversation, then just disappear?

Believe me, we’ve been asking these questions ourselves and we understand you perfectly. Why are we so excited and concerned about text messages and lack of calls? When a man is silent, writes and calls not every day, after sex or a date he disappears somewhere, silent for hours?

You can get thousands of boilerplate sms to get his attention, the essence is something else. Messages will not give a real understanding of what a man thinks about the messages and calls. So, let’s break it down!

At the end of the article you will find a secret bonus video about whether you should write first

Why does it take so long for a man to write and call?

There are several answers to the question…

Men aren’t good at multitasking

Most men are just not as good at multitasking as women. Men tend to be absorbed in whatever task they’re doing. And when they are in that mode, nothing else exists. Women are much more agile. Can shift gears smoothly without losing focus.

Many studies have shown that women primarily gain self-esteem through interpersonal relationships. Men primarily gain a sense of value through their ability to influence the world.

Thus, in the context of text messaging and relationships, a woman’s head is thinking about relationships. Even when she is at work or doing something. Women can do many things at once. Men usually can’t, at least not the ones that require work. A partner can start texting all day, no matter how crazy his day is. But that will only happen in the early stages of a relationship. And it just won’t be sustainable for a long time.

The reason women are frustrated is that they expect men to experience the relationship the way they do. She wants to hear from him during the day. Because it makes her feel like a needed woman. And even when she’s at work, she can’t help but think about why a man doesn’t write or call. We women often wait for messages, need attention. And so we panic when a man doesn’t show signs of attention.

A man’s acknowledgement:

Men don’t like to be bothered during the day. It’s easy to lose focus. I don’t talk on the phone during the day, so I don’t see messages. Men get annoyed by lazy girls who text all the time. Just leave it alone during the day is the message I want to write for the most part. I have things I want to do. And every message with a girl is distracting. However, if I’m thinking about a woman, I will definitely write. If I don’t text within 12 hours – that’s when I really don’t care.

Now you may ask…

But he wrote so much in the beginning, what happened? Why doesn’t the man write the same way now?

Well, in the beginning he was trying to seduce. That’s why he paid so much attention to messages and calls. He didn’t want to lose you to another man. There was a goal: to win you over. Once he got you, he didn’t need to stalk motivated. And he could relax.

It’s just not possible for him to text and call all day like he used to. Once a relationship becomes a little more established, it’s just not necessary. This is exactly the point at which women often ruin what they have.

They interpret the decrease in messages and calls as a sign that he is losing interest. Reflexively, they panic and fear loss. As a result, the woman begins to need the man. And stops being the cool girl who got his attention in the first place.

Moral of the story: just relax! There’s nothing wrong with it. He’s just getting back into a more normal rhythm. There are no problems, but you will create them if you can’t be okay.

A man’s acknowledgement:

When I really like a girl, I text her a lot during the day. Because I’m always thinking about her. But it’s not sustainable. As the relationship goes on for a while, it doesn’t feel natural. They start to feel like work. And that’s when it becomes a problem. Because the girl wants you to keep hooking up as much as you did in the beginning. It makes the man want to text even less!

Men communicate differently than women do.

Men don’t talk for the sake of making a connection. They usually communicate for the sake of reaching some goal or making a plan.

Girls get more frustrated and wonder if they have said something. Men are just going to have their day and focus on something else. And are completely unaware of the chaos they have instigated with women.

When a man doesn’t respond or gives quick, short answers, it really means…nothing at all!

A man’s acknowledgement:

Girls expect a response even to messages that don’t elicit a response. For example, “I’m going to see a movie tonight” is not a message that REQUIRES a response. A better message is, “What movie should I see?” If a man doesn’t answer, he’s probably busy. If it’s a pattern of behavior, he doesn’t like you very much. Dump him.

He’s just not interested in you.

This is an area that confuses many women. Maybe you’ve had a few conversations with him. Maybe you’ve been in touch for a few months. At any rate, he’s a man you like. And he seems to be kind of like you. But you don’t really know…and his messages don’t clarify anything!

Sometimes he wants to write you or call you. Sometimes you go through life without receiving a single message from him. Sometimes he responds to your texts right away. Sometimes it takes hours, days or even weeks. You are so confused. Does he like me or not?

Well, he likes you. He is attracted to you. He likes your company. He likes being around you. But he’s not really into you. That is, he doesn’t see you as someone he wants to develop a stronger relationship with.

You want to hold on to signs that you like him. And, of course, you can find a lot of those signs. But there are also a lot of signs that indicate that he is not in love with you the way you are.

When a man is in love, it’s obvious. He will not leave you alone. He won’t let your relationship remain uncertain. He won’t disappear. And he won’t risk losing you to someone else. If a man loves a woman and she texts him, he will be excited and want to text her back. He won’t look at his phone and say, “Ugh, not in the mood for her right now.” So he won’t say, “I’ll text her later (and then forget about it for the next few days).”

When a man is in love, you don’t need to be reminded that you exist.

He’s busy.

Sometimes the simplest explanation is the right one.

Just because you’re home alone and bored doesn’t mean he’s home. And just because you check your phone 45 minutes an hour doesn’t mean he is. People are busy. They go to another room when their phone is charging. People see messages and wait until they have a few minutes before responding.

And sometimes the texts just don’t come. Or they come hours later. You have to look at everything in context. If overall you really like him (and when a guy likes you, it’s easy to see that). And he doesn’t respond, it’s probably because he’s busy or distracted. If he’s been chatting with you from the beginning, his words reflect how he feels.

What to do when a man doesn’t write

First of all, don’t panic or assume that he’s losing interest and he doesn’t like you. When has premature panic attracted someone to the right place? Never.

If he hasn’t re-signed with you, it’s probably for one of the reasons we listed above. If you can’t tell exactly what it is, just leave it alone. And please don’t get hung up on it.

Also, don’t text him a million times to keep track. If you’ve been texting and he hasn’t responded, just leave it alone. Don’t mess with the words:

I know your phone is working because you just posted something on Instagram!

Doing that will just make you look like a crazy, pathetic woman. Just don’t do anything. If he’s still not responding…well, then remember that the message doesn’t really matter to him. Accept him for who he is and move on.

Why is this so difficult? Secrets of Psychology

At the heart of why women get so worried about the whole messaging and calling issue is fear. The fear that a man isn’t really interested, that he will hurt you, that he’s just trying to play with you.

When we have fear or belief in us, our psyche will try to find evidence to support what we feel. We all travel through the world with filter systems that take relevant information. And discard everything else. For example, if you think no one likes you, you will hone in on people who don’t like you. And ignore all evidence that people really appreciate you.

Loving a man is scary. Especially when the relationship is in its early stages. And you’re not quite sure how he feels. You feel like a vulnerable woman. You feel unprotected, you’re nervous … And you’re not quite sure if this man is going to be any different.

So you’re looking for proof that he will hurt you. Confirming to yourself that you can never find the one you want. When you don’t hear from him, it’s not because he’s busy. It’s often because he’s not interested in you. Or he’s texting some other girl.

If he hasn’t answered your messages for hours, it’s not because he hasn’t had his phone around. It’s because he doesn’t think you’re important.

If his answers are brief, it’s not because he hates texting or calling. And prefers to just see you in person. It’s because he’s annoyed with you. And doesn’t want you to text or call him anymore.

We hope you get it. The fact is, we create our own stories. And if we let negative stories stick to the point where we actually start to believe them as truth, we also create our own realities with our biggest fears.

What to do when a man doesn’t respond to you

First of all, stop worrying! Guys have no idea what this means for women. Most guys are shocked when we say how many questions we get on this subject.

If the lack of response makes you feel anxious, then the feelings are coming from you. Something inside is causing a sense of dread of rejection. Or maybe it feeds feelings of inadequacy, of unworthiness. No amount of texting from it will solve that. You have to dig deeper and get to the bottom of the problem yourself.

Text messages are not a barometer for relationships. Focus more on the quality of the time you spend together. Not the number of words you exchange each day. Naturally, as the relationship progresses, the number of words decreases. And you spend more time together. The drop in the number of messages doesn’t mean you’re going backwards.

Just focus on yourself. Focus on your confidence level, your sense of worth. On thought control, preventing building up into an obsessive zone. On the things that are in control (you and your thoughts). Not on the things that are out of control (him and his feelings).

Guys can feel emotions through text. We don’t know how the brain does it, but they do. They know when you come from a desperate needy place. From that place where you need to respond in a certain way to feel good.

When you are in control of your mind, all the messaging work won’t be a problem.

What to text a man.

To make sure you’re thinking of him last, before he goes to sleep, send one of those sweet good-night texts to melt his heart. Read this article and arm yourself with sweet messages.

We hope this article has helped you understand the real reasons why men don’t text or call. Basically, you are afraid of losing interest from a man. There will come a point when a man may pull away and start walking away. Do you know how to react properly when this happens? If not, read this article.

We recommend you to watch a video from which you will learn why a man does not write and whether you should write first:

So, why a man doesn’t write or call

  • Guys are bad at multitasking and can’t write all day if they want to get something done.
  • Men communicate for the sake of accomplishment, not for the sake of communication.
  • A man just isn’t that passionate about you.
  • The partner is busy.

Read more articles about relationships with men on our blog

More secrets and tricks to attract the attention of men and build a happy relationship you can subscribe to our newsletter of useful articles for women.

10 reasons why a man does not call. Women’s and men’s perspective

We continue to speculate on the topic of the article “Does not call” – why, some men, after a wonderful time together, suddenly, without explanation, disappear and do not make themselves known. Men and women do not have the same views on many things. To all the arguments of the author of the article columnist Igor Cher-sky gives his own counterarguments.

1. If he does not call after dating, it may well be that due to an overabundance of feelings crooked your phone, confusing fingers in the digits of the touchpad. Or he lost the napkin, on which the number was written in lipstick.

Igor Cher-sky: I don’t think so. A normal man can lose everything, but not the phone of a woman he likes. The only possible exception is if he was drunk out of his mind, but then it’s probably due to the woman’s appearance and she’s just not his type.

2. phones are still being stolen. It’s possible that the man’s cell phone was so attractive that it was stolen. And now the beautiful prince has no way to contact the beautiful princess.

Video on the subject

Igor Cher-sky: If a man is not a dewey, phones are rarely stolen from him, so the probability is also – well, very low. Then he would have used any other way to find you. For example, through social networks and a dating service where you found each other.

3. Your dating was a mistake. Not in the sense that he is very sorry about it, but simply do not remember that it happened (there can be completely different reasons for this). So typing seven numbers that belong to an unclear person makes no sense.

Igor Cher-sky: “Your acquaintance was a mistake. he just doesn’t remember that it happened. The first statement is true, the second is not. The man remembers that it was a mistake, that’s why he doesn’t call you.

4. After some thought, he decided that you are not his fate, and that Alyona, with whom he parted a week ago, is in fact the woman of his life. So it is better to immediately disappear from sight and not to trouble your soul with empty hopes (but the number will still keep, in case he will break up with Alyona again).

Igor Cher-sky: That’s how it happens, yes. People are subject to moods, and they want different things all the time.

5. Any man has friends. Usually they have a lot of them, and they have garages, children, fishing and soccer games. And here in moments of “friend’s need” all the world – including you – disappears and there is only the FRIEND to whom it is necessary to rush, dashing his head, and to screw a mirror to his jeep.

Igor Cher-sky: Helping a friend takes at most a day. Well, two, and it happens three times a year. This is not the reason why the man does not call.

6. No matter how tough men are, they can also get offended and have no desire to be the first to make contact. Sometimes it is not very clear what exactly could offend a man, but if the silence becomes too ominous, it makes sense to call yourself and find out what is wrong.

Igor Cher-sky: That’s right. In any case, it is better than to suffer in obscurity and lower your self-esteem, looking for flaws in yourself.

7. There are times when you don’t feel like talking to anybody at all, be it a beautiful lady or your boss from work. You just want to be at least a few days in silence and not conduct any conversations.

Igor Cher-sky: Golden words and thank you for understanding! And you never want to talk to your boss at all – it rarely ends well.

8. From the happiness that fell on his head in the form of you, he just lost the power of speech and can not find the words to call you and invite you to the next date.

Igor Cher-sky: Don’t flatter yourself. Happiness would have inspired him with poems, flowers and serenades, but not with a sepulchral silence.

9. He died unexpectedly. Sad, of course, but it happens.

Igor Cher-sky: Very sad. After all, now you have to look for a long time again.

10. Maybe for him “picking up the phone” is a daily process, and it’s not about quality, but quantity. That is, you got a regular pickup artist who collects numbers, but is not going to call.

Igor Cher-sky: I think there are no women left who can’t see a pickup truck from a mile away. The stupid set of the same phrases and the increased swagger which he tries to use to cover his complexes allows the picker to get acquainted only with very inexperienced women. I will add three more reasons:

11. something happened to the car. A car is everything to a man, and if suddenly it doesn’t start – the whole world around it pales. He will call you, of course, but first he fixes the car. If suddenly it happened otherwise, then it is some kind of unearthly passion for you, congratulations.

12 Sometimes the guy doesn’t call you because he’s had this kind of thing a hundred times before and he knows what’s coming next. You have nothing to do with it and you can be perfect, that’s not the point. By the way, if you are perfect, it’s also bad, because everything flawless is boring. You are bound to have some nice flaws that will cause sympathy for you, but I’ll write a separate article about that.

13. He got an unexpected call from three of his previous women, two of whom he had already missed terribly. You always feel amazing when your ex has someone. And when someone new appears on the horizon, you all show up. You know, just to see how it’s going, no big deal. And then it could very well come to…

Point 4 – the lack of communication with the man in any case raises questions and anxiety, but you have to understand that if the couple has a future, then the opportunity to be alone – only for the best. In the separation you can assess your feelings for your partner and look at a lot of things from the outside.

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