My common-law husband, but I insanely want another man.
I have lived with a man for two years, we have a great relationship, mutual understanding, he is kind, caring, well, honestly, the best relationship, I could not imagine, but, sex, like nothing, but I can not say that fantastic. Two weeks ago (my boyfriend is away on a business trip) I randomly met an old acquaintance with whom I have always been just buddies, although I have always known that he does not indifferent to me. We went to a cafe to have a chat, drank, at the end he kissed me and, it was like lightning struck me, in short, the next day was a light petting, my head is blown off – I want him, he wants me too, I constantly think about him, i.e. the alleged sex with him. I do not want any relationship with this man, plus I develop a huge guilt complex in front of MH. In general, I do not know, what to do, madly I want, (simply demolishes a roof, though, the adult girl (27 years old), and, nothing similar behind itself earlier did not observe,) but very much I cherish and love the man. That’s sitting up and I can not sleep, and, this, more sms sends, what we will have extravagant sex. Maybe someone will give me some advice.
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Forget it and do not cheat if your man is okay.
P.S. Rarely do our expectations correspond to reality, and if sootvetvetvetayut unlikely a night of good sex is worth two years of normal relationship.
And the man with whom you live you do not want to get married?
Been there, done that. Z would not cross out a permanent relationship for the sake of fun. Sex is one thing, but mutual support and life together is another. With the former there is a reliable rear. If it comes to a family – do not trade a decent man for another.
I do not understand how you can feel a reliable rear with a man with whom you live for two years and are not married. Especially since you’re 27. Don’t you feel sorry for his life? If he loved you, he’d take responsibility. In two years, you can tell if a man needs you or not. Apparently he doesn’t need you. He’s just passing the time. And with that young man, maybe you can work something out. And I think you can do what you want, despite your common-law husband.
The author is a weird guy you know, for God’s sake. He could have fucked you almost immediately without a problem, no, he limited himself to “light petting” and now he’s texting you silly messages. Is he 16 years old or something? Or are you having your period?
So you’re saying that the author’s unregistered relationship isn’t a barrier to giving yourself an unearthly pleasure?
Maybe. The trouble is that even if you’ve been in a model marriage with the right partner for a decade or so, it can make you go crazy. In my experience, people with a hard-on are in the minority. It’s human nature to risk the dearest things, aren’t there enough examples? Even paradisiacal living conditions do not guarantee that we will keep from the forbidden sweet fruit. God drove man out of Eden, but HE also left it to man to choose at his own risk.
Author, be patient and it will pass.
Don’t give in to your desires, it’s impossible to cross that line again. You’ll become a whore and a traitor – that’s forever.
Either honestly break up with your man and then fuck whoever you want, or be patient – this passion will pass.
And why does everyone say that the author is going to cut off the relationship, on the contrary, she doesn’t want to lose the relationship, and rightly so! If the relationship is good, tested by time, and for the sake of one sex with another it’s not reasonable to break it off. Especially, I understand that the author doesn’t want a serious relationship with the other one at all. So have fun, and don’t say a word to anyone. First of all you might not want to anymore, and secondly it will be easier to live.
You don’t get it, do you? Cheating is irreversible. A woman’s cheating = the collapse of a relationship, one way or another.
“might not want to anymore” – just the opposite, once you crossed the line – and that’s it, the stop-cock is knocked out, the boundaries of the permitted are broken.
“It will be easier to live” – you are not related to Oster, by any chance?
She’ll either eat her conscience, or she’ll confess to the guy and be sent to hell. No one’s life is going to get any easier around here.
Random, you know, I agree with you, but sometimes I just want to think otherwise. I recently had this question myself, can I? For five years I couldn’t, and now I can’t change it. But the thought goes around in my head that I can do it, and I can keep the relationship too. Because no one will know. But what will be going on in my soul, God only knows.
My husband plays till night and keeps me awake.
My future husband has a wife and child, which annoys me so much.
I resent my husband for not wanting a child
I want to take a cat from my brother-in-law, what should I do?
Crazy attraction to another man
But to extinguish this mutual passion for another man can not do anything, and sometimes it seems that only sex and solve the problem. Because time seems to have no power here.
Thank you very much, everyone who responded.
Here I am in exactly the same dilemma: to sleep with and forget, to calm down, but, to feel like a b. and a traitor, or to suppress the desire, but, it is very difficult. I have already written, I have never had such passion and desire for anyone.
Anna, this question torments millions of people every day, and advice here objective can hardly anyone give, there is no unambiguous solution in this situation, opponents will say: no, bear with it and it will pass, and others will say that if you want to, go and have sex. Everyone decides for himself that he chooses the first or the second … I still stick to the second, but it is very difficult. I love my husband. And wrong are those who think that passion for another man and love for his own family are incompatible feelings.
The second- I mean, I don’t cheat))
Suppressing desire is hard, but it will be even harder to live a lie, feeling betrayed and ***. We are all slaves to our desires, but not all of those desires have to be granted. I had the same dilemma once, and I made the wrong choice, which I will regret for the rest of my life, because I understand – there is no going back, no becoming the good and pure girl that I was once for my lover. And only because I allowed myself to succumb to a moment of weakness – I was young and stupid, I did not understand the scale of what I had done. I do now. Please, come to your senses. This is an irreversible step.
There are people who can play on two camps in cold blood, and look calmly in a man’s eyes after moaning under another, but if you, dear Anna, belonged to that type of people, you would not ask yourself and us – to do or not to do. And if you do, you know it’s wrong.
“We are all slaves to our desires. ” –
Yes. Slaves to our desires, and when we fulfill them, we become slaves to the consequences of our actions.
P.S. Your picture is very nice, it’s on point.
Why “traitor and ***”? Traitor – maybe, but *** – sorry, this is quite another. It’s not like the author sleeps around. I, for example, feel so fucked up about it that I don’t know what to do. And you did it then… even though you regret it now…
You don’t have to suffer, you’ll end up getting laid anyway.
You’ll sleep with her and forget about it. You’ll feel guilty about it for a while, and then it will pass, believe me. And everything will go back to normal.
http://www.woman.ru/relations/men/thread/3971704/-почитайте, your stories are similar in some ways, except for the nuances. Maybe something useful you can read.
To be honest I was in this situation! My civilian husband went away on a business trip for a month, and here just hit on me a guy who is 4 years younger…handsome…young, sexy. first we corresponded, called each other…I went in anticipation of fabulous sex! it was just not to describe how I wanted it! painfully tedious!!! and what do you think! Sex – was nothing, first of all the size of a member was small and he obviously could not use it…So I was very upset. and regretted very much.
analogicnaja situacija, but ja ne izmenila svojemu Grazdanskomu bivshemu pravda uze, teperj dumaju,cto nado bilo. tak cto eto cisto vashe reshenije slushaite tolko sebja.
i also want another. but after digging with motives and listening to literature i realized that i want the QUALITIES (personal) of this man. i miss them in my life. it’s like in a store – i want everything all at once.understand yourself and think, maybe you should develop certain social skills in communication or change your attitude to life (or life)? and more often organize vacations as yourself sweetheart and with your partner.live interesting.and fuck matters in itself, not by changing partners.
My girlfriend slept with another man, being in a relationship with her boyfriend for 3 years. the result is the following – she still feels guilt and shame when she remembers it. But after that one time, she realized that she would never cheat on him again, because she realized that it was disgusting.
You cheat, you cheat, and then what? Will you be able to live with yourself, knowing that you betrayed your beloved and most dear person? And all because of “stupid sex.”
The daily torture of homework.
Is there a boomerang?
How do philanderers end up?
Divorce, filing for alimony, getting your kids registered.
How do I get married to be a stay-at-home mom and not work?
Man, I’m in this situation right now. I have a fiancé, we have been together for 6 years, and six months ago he called me to marry him. I said yes, although it seems that burned out for a long time. He somehow cheated on me, and in general likes to flirt behind my back, but in the domestic plan is reliable and in the bedroom, all ok. At the moment we are temporarily living in different countries before we get married, the circumstances were like that. And three months ago a man came to work for us. I noticed him right away, and I forgot about him. About a month ago, he began to engage in my sports section, and then I was all over the place. I see that he looks at me, but does not approach. And I’m shaking in front of him, shaking so that I can’t eat. Anyway, I ended up getting to know him myself, and now I am waiting to see what happens next. Girlfriend says he is disgusting, and I agree that he is not handsome, but apparently intuitively I know what is mine. Anyway, I do not know what to do, I want him. I’m afraid to fall in love and destroy the existing relationship. I have always judged these men and women, and now I find myself in this situation. I thought once you love and you do not want to cheat. I guess I’ve fallen out of love with my fiancé.
You’ll sleep with her and forget about it. You’ll feel guilty about it for a while, and then it will pass, believe me. And everything will go back to normal.
You’re a ****ing lover, it won’t hurt your *** to give him a shout, you’re the boss of my ***!
A girl went to dinner with a man who pissed her off.
The man gets 25,000.
How do you understand these guys?!
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“I want another man, but I love my man” – what should I do?
I work as a freelance journalist. I write “tastefully” about everything.
The expert – Victoria Fomina.
Highest-category sexologist, psychiatrist and psychotherapist. I have been working as a sexologist for over 10 years. I help couples solve problems in sex life.
If you feel sexual desire at the mere sight of a new acquaintance, but you are sure that you still love your tried and tested significant other, don’t blame yourself. This is a fairly common situation. And she does not talk about your “promiscuity”.
Why is there a desire for another man?
Just imagine the situation: you have been dating a young man for several years. He is kind, gentle, caring, loving. And yet so familiar. Or even your spouse.
You know all his habits and manners. In a crowd you can guess the smell of your man. And in bed you can always guess what he will do next.
And you feel comfortable having sex with him. He knows all your “pleasure points”. And he diligently brings you to orgasm.
You have a great relationship. But the novelty, brightness, unpredictability, which were so excite you initially, no longer.
And then a new character appears on the horizon. For example, a colleague of a spouse or boyfriend. He does not have to be handsome.
It is enough to you pleasant facial features, confident look, sexy smile. Maybe you’re attracted to his style of dress, a sports figure or a special smell. But most importantly, everything about him is new and unexplored.
No matter how they say that men are conquerors and women like stability in everything, it’s not quite true. Novelty beckons one and all. And most importantly – it is highly arousing. A new man doesn’t even have to try particularly hard to make you feel maximum desire.
At the sight of a new acquaintance you can literally tremble with passion. Feelings arise that make life brighter and more interesting. And, of course, they draw you in, despite your love for the other half and the fear of losing her.
The main reasons for the desire for another man:
- Over the years of a relationship with the man you love, your eyes seem to get “washed out.” You stop seeing his sexuality, notice his physical attractiveness, the velvety voice, sensuality, self-confidence. But all of these qualities are immediately apparent in the new acquaintance. They are not just visible, but as if illuminated by a spotlight;
- The other half you already associate with everyday life and routine. Before you passionately take off his clothes, you will have to clarify whether he had dinner, what time to get up for work tomorrow and whether the youngest child has a runny nose. With the new man you will probably be interested in only one question – whether he has birth control;
- Beloved man has long embodied the duty and responsibilities. But the new character is perceived as a conqueror;
- In a relationship with your significant other, there has long been no surge of vivid emotions. That’s what you need from the new man. And not specifically intimacy with him.
It is not necessary that the lover will be better at something than your regular man. He may even be less skilled at sex. But this new smell, new actions, new words – all of them turn you on and increase the pleasure.
Do only immoral girls want another man in a relationship?
Even faithful and loyal girls one day may find that suddenly they catch themselves wanting to be in bed with a new man. At the same feelings for the young man with whom they have long been in a loving relationship, remain as strong and bright.
Therefore, the desire that flashed to another man, definitely does not indicate your immorality. On your personal qualities will speak more about the subsequent behavior. What are you going to do with the new passion and how to behave towards the other half.
If you feel the desire for another man, then you have three basic options:
- The first is to leave the man you love for a new acquaintance for the sake of vivid sex. There is a huge chance that the passion in your relationship will not last long. And eventually you will realize that the routine is back. Only now without love and strong feelings;
- The second is that you will find yourself in bed with the character who turned you on. It doesn’t matter if it’s one or more times. Either way, it’s no longer a happy, peaceful life, but an unfair double game in which you cheat and betray the person you love. He may find out about what happened at any minute and walk away from you forever with a lot of pain inside;
- Third – you realize the main reasons for the loss of passion and novelty in your relationship. And why you have a desire for new men. And you’ll start working on solving this problem.
If you choose the third – the most reasonable option, it’s best to work on the relationship together with your other half. The main thing is never to voice to him the main reason for your desire for change.
Unlikely man inspired to change your phrase: “You know, honey, I here really wanted sex with your other Petya, so I decided that we have to change something. It is better to shield him from such unnecessary details.
What to do?
If you appreciate the person you love and understand that you are generally good, then it is worth to work on the return of passion in your relationship.
Sex with your lover definitely will not improve the situation. Treason will deprive you of peace of mind. And it could completely ruin a harmonious and happy relationship.
To fix the situation, you should:
-
Look at the object of your sexual desire differently. Try to remove the “rose-colored glasses. Yes, his scent and playful look you incredibly turned on. But think about what he was in the other spheres of life? Maybe your failed lover is not too respectful to women, not able to hold an intellectual conversation, or still live with his mother and listen to her. These facts are likely to make it less attractive in your eyes;
If you work together on their sex life, you will soon be able to return to her passion, novelty, brightness. And it does not matter how many years you are together. Then you’re unlikely to want to look at other men. After all, there will be native, loved and so desired.
