13 reasons why a man keeps you around and does not let go, but does not want a relationship
The fact that he wants to stay single doesn’t rule out that he likes you as a person. Find out why a man doesn’t keep you around and won’t let you go. 13 clear reasons for this.
You’ve heard that relationships are hard work, but getting into one can be even harder.
It can be impossible when the man you’re interested in just doesn’t want to become your boyfriend.
Confusion, insecurity, and resentment will consume your mind when you feel like things are moving in one direction and then falling off a cliff.
This process can be repetitive, and you will find yourself in a cycle of “over and over” and “over and over.”
In this situation with a man, you will puzzle over the questions “Why doesn’t he want me?”, “Why doesn’t he hold on and let go?” and “Why does he keep coming back?”
Why does a man keep coming back if he doesn’t love me?
The answer to this question depends on the individual.
Some men just don’t know what they want. Others just take advantage of people who are attracted to them.
Perhaps a man is just trying to get into a relationship and hoping that love will arise.
Perhaps a man is just trying to get into a relationship and hoping that love will arise.
Some of the reasons he may want to interact with you hot and cold have to do with his desire not to hurt you. He sees that you are interested in him and he even likes you.
As a caring person, he may not know how to say something abrupt like “I don’t feel attracted to you enough to be a complete couple.”
In fact, almost no one is born knowing how to navigate the issues and emotional struggles that are part of romantic situations.
As a result, people make mistakes, send mixed signals and sow confusion because of inexperience or immaturity.
Signs that a man likes you but doesn’t want a relationship
Signs that he likes you but doesn’t want a relationship.
You’re not the first to think, “He doesn’t want a relationship, but he likes me” .
Although some people say that men and women cannot have a platonic friendship, the truth is that men and women can have feelings for each other.
They can appreciate each other’s humor, outlook, and intelligence without seeking a loving relationship.
Some men have delved into their souls and decided that they want to be single, at least for now.
Just because he wants to remain single does not exclude the possibility that he likes you as a person.
He does like you, but a number of reasons may keep him from taking the next step.
Since most people tend not to understand what they are thinking or feeling, you may have to interpret the signals yourself.
Take a moment to think about whether you have noticed any of these signs:
- You occasionally date, but you never go on dates.
- He is always too busy to go out with you.
- He writes or calls, but doesn’t plan to go out.
- He hasn’t introduced you to friends or family.
- He is open to you in difficult social situations, but doesn’t make further contact.
- He is busy with other problems at work or in his personal life.
- He disappears after a few meetings and then reappears in your life.
- He doesn’t tell you much about his life.
- He cancels your plans.
- You assume he is seeing another woman.
Why does a man keep me around and not let me go if he doesn’t want a relationship? 13 likely reasons.
He enjoys sex.
Let’s face it. If you’ve been in an intimate relationship, he probably enjoys the availability of that relationship. He may be pleased that you are willing to continue them at his will.
The “friends with benefits” situation may satisfy his emotional and physical needs without requiring him to make the effort necessary to maintain a meaningful relationship.
This behavior is not necessarily malicious and may answer the question of why a man is not holding on and letting go. Perhaps he likes you in many ways, but has decided to officially remain single.
He likes emotional support.
A man who writes or calls you frequently is probably just diving deep enough into the maelstrom of a relationship to get what he needs. Perhaps he enjoys your companionship and your attention.
Everyone needs someone to talk to, and you can fulfill that role . Perhaps you hope that your long conversations will lead to a date, but it never happens.
You relieve him of his boredom.
Constant communication may not reach the level of emotional support. If a man likes you but doesn’t want a relationship, he will seek companionship because you are always in touch .
The answer to the question of why a man doesn’t hold and won’t let go lies on the surface. Your willingness to respond to his texts or answer his calls may be what keeps him around. Talking to you when he’s bored can help him pass the time.
He avoids drama in the relationship.
Getting into a relationship means that each person takes on all the triumphs and tragedies of the other person’s life. We all experience ups and downs. Why doesn’t a man hold on and let go? Obviously to avoid drama.
Consciously or unconsciously, he may have made a decision not to complicate his life with the emotional work that is part of the relationship.
Some people in this world are mechanisms for creating drama. He may have had a previous relationship with a woman with whom something crazy always happened, and he doesn’t want to deal with that again.
He doesn’t want to hurt you.
Many men are sincere about not hurting other people’s feelings. He may have been interested when you first met and thought about dating, but then that feeling faded .
You shouldn’t ask yourself why a man isn’t holding back and letting go. Perhaps he doesn’t know how to politely discourage your interest in this relationship. As a result, he avoids talking about the subject.
He appreciates the friendship, but doesn’t feel the romance
Perhaps the man does perceive you as a friend. Your pleasant companionship may excite you and make you hope for a more intimate relationship.
However, he’s happy with the status quo and doesn’t want to risk developing a relationship.
He may lack chemistry, but he likes seeing you and doing things with you.
You’re paying for it.
If you want his company so much that you pay for his fare when you leave the house, he may feel comfortable taking advantage of you.
A frustrated woman looks at her companion, who is on the phone, and does not understand why the man does not hold and let go.
He doesn’t mind your company, but the fun entertainment and delicious take-out food you buy encourages him to pull you along.
You give him access to the things he likes.
A man who is pulling around you and refusing to commit may want something other than free food. You don’t have to pay for anything for him to benefit from knowing you.
Perhaps you use your family’s beautiful vacation home whenever you want, and he enjoys accompanying you to that interesting place. A day at the lake is better than sitting at home in front of the air conditioner.
He may also see you as someone who can help him get a job, win a client, or somehow increase his social capital. That’s why a man doesn’t hold back and let go.
He has a fear of better options.
All sorts of fears are the reason why a man doesn’t hold on and won’t let go. Known as FOBO, fear of better options means that he is hesitant to date you because he hopes to meet someone he likes better .
He may find you suitable in many ways, but still strive for the best. He may even show some interest in keeping your connection with him as a plan B if he can’t find another person for the relationship.
He has a fear of commitment.
People fear commitment for many reasons, and one of them is fear of failure. He may lack confidence in his ability to succeed in the emotional work that a relationship requires.
People who fear commitment know the variables in their lives as single people. They don’t want to enter into the unknown where they might get hurt or hurt someone.
He may be confused about his sexual orientation
Understanding and accepting your sexual identity is not always a clear and smooth path. A man you like and who seems to like you too may like the idea of dating you, but he’s not sure about the sexual aspect.
Keeping a female candidate around as a potential dating partner may reduce suspicions of homosexuality that the man is not yet ready to make public.
He wants a casual sexual relationship
Some people know themselves well and have decided that they will not enter into a formal relationship. They want the freedom of a sexual relationship with no strings attached .
Such a man may find you physically attractive and appreciate your personality, but he is only interested in short-term gratification.
He has a negative life experience.
Understanding that “the man doesn’t hold back and won’t let go” makes his detachment even more painful for you. You will wonder what it is about you that is holding him back if he genuinely likes you. You may not be the problem .
He may be mending his broken heart or even recovering from a toxic relationship. He may have been betrayed in a previous relationship. As a result, his well-being may be compromised and he doesn’t want to shift his problems to you.
He may be recovering from heartache or even from an abusive relationship. He may have been betrayed in a previous relationship. As a result, his well-being may be compromised and he doesn’t want to push his problems on you.
Does the man want a relationship?
If any of the information presented here sounds familiar to you, you may already know the answer to this question. However, assumptions are not the best way to regulate a human relationship.
You could save time and nerves by talking to him about your hopes for the relationship. If he won’t talk about it, his avoidance is a reliable indicator that he’s not ready .
If he says no to a relationship, you should look elsewhere for love.
Shifting your attention from him to another man may make him realize that he needs you after all.
A girl doesn’t want a relationship.
It’s not uncommon for young men to find themselves in unpleasant situations when a girl doesn’t want a relationship. The situation is ambiguous, but not always hopeless. Why this happens, and whether there is a way out will prompt our article.
How to understand that a girl does not want a relationship
Many men believe that women are difficult to understand, or even quite impossible. But we will try. Surely many guys have faced a similar problem. You meet a girl, you like her, she seems to care about you too, you start to actively communicate. And that’s it, at this point the relationship stalls. Your girlfriend does not refuse to communicate with you, just to talk, maybe go somewhere, do something together. But beyond a friendly meeting the relationship does not go on the initiative of the female half. And she did not say a decisive “no”, but steps towards rapprochement does not do. Such incomprehensible behavior can put any representative of the stronger sex in a daze. What to do in such cases? You can, of course, ask her directly about it. Women are not as dodgy, fickle and unpredictable, as many men are sure. On the direct question you can get a straight answer. But not always. There may be several reasons.
- Does not want to offend you with a refusal;
- Not ready for a straight answer;
- Does not understand the reasons.
If your lady is an honest and straightforward person, you can ask her directly. By getting an answer, you will get rid of the mystery. If a woman is shy, reserved or unsure of her own feelings, you will not get a direct answer. And you can even scare her away. But the fact is that such questions are not ready to ask all men. Because getting an honest, but negative answer – afraid. In this case it is better to do otherwise. It is not necessary to ask, just carefully observe your loved one for a while. If she stubbornly avoids talking about the relationship, ignoring your advances, refuses to date, does not want to meet at all – then these are clear signs that a serious relationship she does not want. Perhaps only with you, perhaps only at the moment, and then “thaw. But that’s a slightly different topic. If the lady for a long time with you gladly communicates, accepts help, gifts and trips, but stubbornly avoids a more intimate relationship, then you should think seriously about whether she is not using you? Perhaps you are just a convenient and profitable for her sponsor. Analyze the reasons why she constantly refuses intimate communication, perhaps you will realize that this is just excuses. And already decide for yourself, but do you need such a “relationship”?
What to do if a girl says no
Often women are quite straightforward and clearly say “no” to an admirer. How is this to be understood? Some men believe, and this opinion is common and quite ingrained, that a woman’s “no” actually means “yes”. That the girl is just flirting and stuffing herself. But only smug and not particularly intelligent men can think that way. On the principle of “I’m so good that a woman just can’t ignore me. Maybe, dear members of the stronger sex, maybe. And very often said “no” really means rejection. So besiege her as a fortified fortress is not worth it, pesky attention can only worsen the problem and finally spoil the opinion of you. Try to figure out why you refused. You can just analyze your and her behavior, to understand what you do wrong. Gently talk to her friends or acquaintances, they might have noticed something.
There may be many reasons, but here are the most basic:
- She simply doesn’t like you, and it’s hard to do anything about it
- She has someone else, maybe just in mind.
- She is not ready to build a new relationship, for example, because of a recent heartbreak
If she said a firm “no”, respect her choice, it’s better to leave it alone, do not insist, do not bore. So you can save at least a good, friendly relationship. In the future it can still change, do not force the events. Or find someone else who will appreciate you.
What to do if the girl loves, but does not want a relationship
Perhaps the most confusing and unpleasant situation occurs when a man is sure that he loves, but loved as much as possible avoids rapprochement. And he is completely perplexed: you love me, but constantly push away, why, what have I done wrong? Naturally, this state of affairs will offend and make angry almost anyone. But do not hurry to be offended at her chosen one, try to understand it, every behavior has its reasons. Take into account the nature of your lady, your relationship, her past hobbies, if you know about them. You can ask her friends. The most common reasons are:
- The girl has a negative experience of past relationships
- Has no experience at all
- Not sure about her chosen one
If the girl is inexperienced and shy, it is difficult for her not only to make the first step, but also to respond to her feelings. She is simply afraid of them. Do not hurry, give her time to get used to you, to understand that you have real feelings. Developing an affair too quickly can scare many people away. It often shows that the partner doesn’t see the relationship as something serious. Exactly the same can be said if the lady has had a traumatic situation in the past. She needs to be given time to come to her senses and believe in the possibility of new happiness. Some people will need more time for this, some will need less, but don’t force the situation. When a woman is ready for a relationship, you will understand it. Try to behave so that the woman felt your support, to understand that you can rely on you, that your feelings are real. And that you are much better than her failed suitors from the past. Courtship her, surround attention. And everything will work out, most importantly do not rush her.
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A girl wants to communicate but not date
If you actively correspond with her, go for a walk, go to the movies or somewhere else, and you feel good and comfortable together, but you are just friends, you need to analyze the possible reasons. How to understand the reason if the girl loves. but does not want a relationship:
- You know each other too little, and the girl is not ready for a quick romance
- She considers your feelings not serious
- She does not like some of your shortcomings
- She likes someone else.
All of these reasons – not the final verdict, even if she has someone else in mind. Life goes on, and a girl can change her mind. If you do not want to remain just a friend, you better try to win her heart.
- Confess your feelings.
- Start to woo her.
- Show her you are serious.
Even try to get rid of some bad habits or bad personality traits, if that’s the case. You can go to the gym and pump up your muscles, women appreciate the strong ones. Engage in self-education, smart men are also quoted. There’s a long list of things to do. Think about the list yourself. Determine her values, what she likes and does not like, try to understand what you can bring her in. It’s not so hard, just talk to her.
If you listen carefully to the interlocutor, you can learn a lot about him just from talking. Try to change tactics. For example, if you used to call her every day, try to take a break. This will definitely alert her, maybe even hurt her by the lack of previous attention. But if you find out she’s relieved to get rid of your calls… then you’re in trouble. Do something unexpected (but nice, of course), prepare a gift, a surprise, give her something she has long wanted. Use your imagination. But do not go overboard with surprises. Here’s just do not make her jealous by flirting with other women, this is one of the worst tips you can get in this situation. Yes, you may indeed become jealous, but this is more likely to lead not to sympathy, but to a negative attitude. Such behavior you will prove that you are not interested in her opinion or her society. It is better to court her, try to become her more than a friend, your efforts will be appreciated. And don’t push in any way, a woman should have freedom of choice. Of course, no one will give you a 100% guarantee, but you should try.
What to do if she does not want to communicate
Perhaps this is the most difficult situation. If a girl does not even want to communicate, you should seriously think whether you should insist. If you do not want to communicate with you from the beginning, this means that something about you does not suit her, you do not “hook” her. You can still try to woo, try to make her pleasant and necessary. Maybe she just does not know you well and is not ready to “open her arms” to a stranger. Here there is a danger of turning into an ordinary friend, but it’s up to you to decide. After all, good friendships aren’t bad either. If your advances are not successful, do not despair, it’s probably just not your man.
What to do if a girl says she does not want a relationship
The problem of gender relations has always been and remains very acute. There is no single recipe and is unlikely to be, but some general principles for the successful construction of relationships can be given. As a generalization of a few tips:
- Try to understand your partner
- Be attentive, but not intrusive
- Do not rush things
- Do not pressure the girl and do not force her to love you.
It is desirable to determine a rough time frame in which you have to “win” your lady. After all, spending years on a woman who doesn’t need you, you agree, is silly. At this time, your happiness can be right under your nose. If a girl says she doesn’t want a relationship, it may not be true, or not the full truth, or just a momentary feeling. So don’t get discouraged early on, things can still change. Provided that you make the necessary efforts.