The relationship between a married woman and a married man
Author: Jeanne Mulishina Practitioner psychologist consultant on problematic family relationships, personal dissatisfaction, etc.
Love quadrilateral: the causes and prospects for its development. The article will give recommendations on how to eliminate this phenomenon, if it began to destroy personal relationships among the participants of such a life cataclysm.
The main reasons for the connection between unmarried people
This kind of relationship implies the treason of not one of the partners, but two at once. Consequently, the delicacy of the situation becomes much more tangible than in a classic love triangle.
To add up a voiced intimate geometric figure can for many reasons, but psychologists distinguish among them five main factors-provocateurs:
Family routine . Especially this point applies to couples who have a solid period of cohabitation. None of the partners thinks about divorce, so they look for a lover on the side with a minimal package of requirements. In this case, people who already have their other half are ideal for each other.
Pay attention! There are many reasons for the emergence of a love quadrilateral, from which no couple is immune. However, in a family where there is trust and respect for each other, this situation is extremely rare.
Varieties of couples created from married and married
In this case, a clear distinction should be made between the formed ties on the side, when both cheaters are not free. An affair between a married man and a married woman can often be characterized according to the following scheme:
An unencumbered consensual relationship . No one in this couple owes anyone or anything, which is stipulated by both parties initially. There is usually little romance in such a relationship, but this kind of spending time together does not strain anyone. The main thing in this case for people with the voiced model of behavior is conspiracy, which gives additional spice to secret meetings.
Prospects for the development of relations between a married man and a married woman
A love collision of this kind can end both peacefully and with problems for all participants in the ongoing events. In most cases, an intimate quadrilateral has an ending that is often the expected outcome for almost all affected parties:
Destruction of all families . If one of the lovers decides to change his life and start a new relationship with a secret partner, it automatically affects his other half as well. In very rare cases, everyone is happy with such a verdict, because there will always be a person who has been mentally traumatized.
Important! Destroy the old – easy, but to build on its ruins of the new becomes in most cases a difficult process. It should carefully consider all the possible consequences of their behavior, so as not to remain at the bottom of the barrel and without prospects for family happiness in the future.
The love quadrilateral: options for getting out of the labyrinth
The desire to dot all the “I “s and break the unnecessary relationship may arise from one of the partners, or from both participants in the melodrama. In the second case, everything will happen quickly and painlessly for all the actors of the soap opera. Worse is the case when one of the secret partners wants to be free of unnecessary to him anymore relationships, and the second is categorically against such a decision.
Acting on their own to break the existing relationship
In some cases, the man himself is able to get out of a vicious circle, which he created for himself. If one of the main participants of the love quadrilateral firmly decided to end the extramarital affair, he should take the following measures:
End interpersonal contact . It is always easier said than done. However, sometimes it is better to break off relations with a partner completely than to indulge in unfounded illusions for a long time. Extreme caution should be exercised, provided that the lover is a nervous and hysterical person. Such subjects out of revenge are ready, even with their own family, to significantly harm the relatives of the initiator of the separation.
Tips from psychologists on the way out of the love quadrilateral
Specialists have not ignored the voiced problem, because quite a large number of people are faced with it. As an aid to the troublemakers who seek to break up a relationship on the side, they have developed a number of recommendations of the following plan:
Determining with choice . Fumbling in this case with the thoughts of “need – will it solve itself – can wait” is the worst of all evils in this situation. Psychologists advise to clearly set all priorities in order to cut the Gordian knot as quickly as possible.
The psychology of the relationship between a married man and a married woman is a delicate relationship that requires a serious attitude. A man always has the right to decide his own fate, but you can not take advantage of other people. In order not to become a toy in the hands of others in the future, it is necessary to avoid the possibility of becoming a manipulator himself in relation to the sexually attractive object in the marriage.
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Psychology and Peculiarities of Relationships of a Married Man and a Married Woman
Love does not depend on a stamp in the passport. Therefore, when choosing a partner, a person is rarely interested in the marital status of the person he or she chooses. Sometimes the bonds of marriage bind one of the lovers, but it happens that both partners have already had a family. What makes people cheat? What are the characteristics of the relationship between a married man and a married woman? Can they be happy? Let’s try to answer some crucial questions.
Why is dating with a married partner attractive to both a married woman and a married man? There are benefits that suit either sex:
- There is no commitment to a partner. Consequently, there is no room for resentment, guilt and remorse.
- The possibility of pleasant communication. The liberation of sexual relations.
- A break from everyday problems, family obligations, and troubles. No one will reproach for the unbrought garbage, unpaid bills or a leaking faucet in the bathroom.
- A positive atmosphere, a romantic setting, and pleasant feelings.
- Gaining experience, including sexual, which may be useful in future relationships or in the family.
But the reasons that push into the arms of married or married lovers in men and women are different.
What drives a man
Representatives of the stronger sex to sex outside the marital bed treat easier. And the relationship between a married man and a married woman is considered comfortable, reliable and safe, as the partners are in equal conditions of the marital union:
- if the mistress is a married lady, excessive secrecy and secret meetings will not seem offensive and humiliating;
- An experienced woman will surround you with care, attention and comfort, without requiring a reciprocal response from your chosen one;
- Alien wife will not read precepts, pry into the soul, to demand promises and vows of loyalty.
As a rule, sexual relations without spiritual closeness are not considered by men as treason. Therefore, a partner who is married is an ideal mistress.
What provokes a woman
For the beautiful half of humanity, the family is of great value. Therefore, to decide to cheat, a woman needs a good reason or an irresistible attraction. Women love married men and risk family well-being if:
- They feel that their love for their spouse has passed. The resulting emptiness is replaced by unexplored and new sensations;
- Not enough affection, attention from their spouse. No matter what the cause of this behavior of the husband. Perhaps, instead of a passionate love came peace and quiet, and her husband stopped being a fervent lover, not considering the wishes of his wife. Maybe restraint is a character trait. In any case, if the woman feels deprived and unnecessary, looking for satisfaction of needs away from the family hearth;
- The husband prefers the company of buddies. Insulted spouse suffers from an inferiority complex, if the beloved man constantly leaves home. Fishing, the gym, and the company of friends turn out to be more important than spending time with the spouse;
- Feelings of revenge. Intercourse with a married man may be a reaction to her husband’s infidelity. Lowered self-esteem, hurt self-love pushes the fairer sex to rash actions. This helps to avoid depression, gain confidence, and often save the marriage;
- craving for romance. Marital relationships lose their emotionality and brightness over time and become habitual and commonplace. But dreams remain. If the spouse is not able to reanimate the relationship, the woman is looking for vivid impressions and thrills outside the home;
- Sexual dissatisfaction. A married lover often becomes a necessity. This happens when the spouse in bed ceases to consider the woman’s desire and is limited to the performance of marital duties. The dissatisfaction makes one decide to cheat.
The relationship between a married man and a married woman sometimes becomes the only way to keep the family together.
What benefits does a man see
A man who is married, deciding to cheat, stops at the choice of a married woman. What are the reasons for such a decision?
Calmer and more reliable.
If a man does not plan to part with his wife, a married mistress is an ideal opportunity to relax, improve self-esteem, distract from everyday problems and troubles. The mistress will not demand a divorce and will keep the relationship a secret. This is a mutually beneficial tacit agreement between the two non-free partners.
Being late or postponing a date, forgetting to congratulate on a holiday, the man does not feel guilty. The partner will enter into the situation, will not be offended, will not throw a tantrum. Unlike the free girl, who does not understand the behavior of the lover.
A married partner is much cheaper than an unmarried lover. Expensive gifts are cancelled, because a new car will cause bewilderment to the spouse. A trip to a warm country is postponed indefinitely because the partner is used to resting in the company of her husband. The relationship between a married man and a married woman should be kept secret, so there is no need to spend money on expensive restaurants, nightclubs, and social parties. The feelings of the partner do not depend on the material investment of the lover.
Such a relationship preserves health. After all, a married woman will not often change partners, and, therefore, does not risk contracting an unpleasant disease. The physical health of the partner maintains mental balance.
What advantages a woman sees
Women love married men and give them preference when choosing a lover. Representatives of the weaker sex are not afraid of rare meetings and conspiracy. They are ready to share a partner with their spouse and do not pretend to expensive gifts, because they themselves are bound by marital obligations.
A married lady perfectly understands the positive aspects of such a relationship. She is attracted to the following qualities:
Doesn’t get jealous.
Does not have the right to such luxuries. Jealousy scenes are the lot of the legitimate spouse. Irritation, annoyance and bruised self-esteem lover must hide from outsiders. He will not hurt his partner with silly suspicions, because he risks losing a comfortable haven. Fear of publicity and gossip that could destroy the family of his chosen one. The single suitor has little concern about the family well-being of his partner.
Restrained in Desires.
Not concerned about family problems single man will insist on regular long meetings and dates. Unspent energy, a lot of free time create problems in the relationship. After all, a woman spends most of her time on her family and communicating with her husband. With a married partner it is much easier to plan communication. Rare short meetings suit both lovers, do not become a habit and remain a holiday of soul and body.
A married lover will not risk a woman’s reputation by showing up at work with a fancy bouquet of roses. He will not bore you with messages and calls. Only single partners are capable of such unpredictable madness. Married man observes the unspoken terms of a secret relationship, because he is afraid of problems and trouble.
The psychology of a married man’s relationship with a married woman implies a breakup without scandal. Therefore, the connection with a married man is comfortable, safe and unburdening.
More often than not, an affair between unmarried partners is an affair without continuation. The relationship gradually moves toward finality and ends in a consensual breakup.
At first, lovers are driven by passion and a desire to experience unexplored sensations. As you know, “forbidden fruit is sweet.
Then the aura of romance gives way to habit. Mystery disappears, but the problems and fear of disclosure remain.
A person, experiencing constant stress, strives for peace, comfort and coziness. He looks at his legal half with different eyes and understands the simple truth: “It is good where we are not.
According to statistics, no more than ten percent of married couples disintegrate from – because of cheating spouses with a married partner. New relationships help to appreciate the old and return to the old established life.
If a real strong feeling flares up between lovers that does not fade over the years, the secret connection will grow into a deep legal relationship.
Women love married men, but suffer from such a relationship more:
- The initiator of the breakup is more often the married man.
- A married lady who decides to cheat is torn between two fires. Gives love to her partner, trying not to deprive his spouse of attention. Wasting mental strength, nerves, and health.
- Married man, communicating with his mistress, he is resting from his problems, he is enjoying himself, he is becoming stronger.
Not because of, but despite.
Married partners are attracted to each other, despite all the disadvantages of such relationships. Why create problems, waste energy and emotions, build castles on the sand? What force pushes lovers towards each other? There are several explanations for the illogical behavior:
- An irresistible physical attraction to a member of the opposite sex.
- Escape from reality. If the situation in the family heats up to the limit, but the decision to divorce is not ripe, a man or woman is trying to forget in the arms of another person.
- Craving for Happiness. The soul, tired of the routine of domestic cares and scandals, asks for easy companionship that doesn’t commit to anything.
- Chasing a dream. Having discerned the flaws and weaknesses of a spouse, the person seeks an ideal partner, mistakenly taking an imaginary image for the original.
- Exaggerated self-esteem. A feeling of own superiority and irresistibility requires constant confirmation. It is easy to seduce a single man, unmarried woman. Win the favor of a man who is legally married is much harder, but more interesting.
The psychological relationship between a married man and a married woman is complicated and unpredictable. Deciding to cheat, it is necessary to analyze the reasons, to weigh the expected problems, to present the achieved result. If the driving force is not love, but boredom, frustration, hurt self-love, it is worth thinking before you create problems for yourself and others.
Only true strong love can justify any rash actions and vain sacrifices.