Is it necessary to be jealous of a man – consider in detail

Is it worth it to show a man his jealousy – sort it out

Every woman, whether she would admit it or not, is subject to feelings of jealousy. Is not it too late my husband came home? The company has already held a corporate party this month. I think he looked at that blonde in the short skirt.

If such thoughts flicker in a woman’s mind, we can state the fact of jealousy.

What is jealousy?

Jealousy is a heightened, unpleasant feeling, which, like a rotten worm, settles inside the soul. Extremely exhausting and unpleasant phenomenon.

Is it necessary to show emotion in a case like this? Facts are stubborn things. No matter how hard a woman tries to hide jealousy will not succeed. Manifestations of this feeling can be different. When a lady begins to be jealous she begins to accumulate a stream of “angry lava”, which sooner or later will manage to break out.

On the other hand, jealousy has been compared to chili peppers. The spice adds spice to the dish, and jealousy will add spice to the relationship. If you don’t count on the seasoning, the “soup” of the family home can spoil to the point that it becomes impossible to eat.

Every woman suffering from uncertainty, can choose two options: to show jealousy to a man or silently “boil in their own juice.

The positive aspects of female jealousy

There are advantages in such behavior, which can only strengthen the union of two loving hearts. If a woman has come to the conclusion that silence is no longer possible, she needs to think through her actions. How to explain to a man that it bothers? How to do it as successfully as possible?

5 proven ways to show jealousy man:

  1. Jealous means he loves . This immutable truth has survived since the grandparents of today’s youth. Jealousy makes a man feel like a conqueror and possessor. No one ever likes to feel second best. A little fire in a man’s eyes and he will be ready to move mountains to prove his love.
  2. The way is as simple as a cork: You need to scream a little. By showing a man her true feelings, a woman will get rid of her inner discomfort. Experts say that it gets easier because there is a way to get rid of angry energy and not to keep everything inside.
  3. You can always talk heart to heart. Argumented and logical to build evidence of their arguments and give weighty facts, confirming that jealousy is justified. After these conversations it becomes easier for everyone. The man is pleased that he was not snapped at and not yelled at, and the woman is happy because she got rid of jealousy.
  4. Doubts need to be said no . In what case will the lady be jealous? Only if there is a reason for it. And if the misunderstanding has a pronounced character and tormented by the unknown? It is necessary to dot all the “I “s and find out the detailed circumstances of what happened? When the unknown is replaced by certainty comes a relief. Even if the truth confirms the treason of a loved one.
  5. It is necessary to speak quietly . Strange advice? It is perfect for those ladies who want to be heard. There is no need to shout at your partner. The quieter the interlocutor speaks, the more they listen to the content of the conversation – this is an officially confirmed theory.

Negative aspects of female jealousy

Not all situations need to show jealousy. There are many cases where a lady throws a jealous tantrum over nothing. Then men complain: “She’s jealous of me to every post.

Sooner or later the chosen one will get tired of constant picking and really go to another woman.

There is also the other side of the coin, which is responsible for a more sensible, we can say “cold” part of the female mind.

5 minuses of showing female jealousy:

  1. Showing your feelings frequently is by no means an option . This is fraught with outbursts of resentment and sometimes even aggression in men. More often than not, daily scandals become a habit for the stronger sex and they stop noticing them at all. “Oh, here we go again” – so often think men who are tired of these constant hotbeds of ignition of women’s feelings.
  2. Brevity is the sister of talent . How often does a man tire of fighting? The wife in this respect is more enduring and patient than her husband. But the poor man can not long tolerate conversation in high tones. Therefore, in clarifying relationships should be as brief as possible to try to put their claims, especially if they are accompanied by uncontrollable anger or violent tantrums.
  3. It is better to talk privately. Public expression of feelings will make a life partner feel awkward and shame, not for themselves, but for his lady. He will be uncomfortable in further communication, because the image of the shameful event will be stored in his mind. “And this is my wife?” – he will think with horror. Sooner or later, such public scenes end up breaking up the relationship.
  4. There is a method of ignoring . This method entails a severe disorder for the female psyche. Its essence is to turn a blind eye to jealousy. You need to push it to the farthest corner of consciousness and not let her get out. Just don’t think about it.
  5. “Like you, like me” is also not a good way to hide your jealousy from a man. In this case, more resentment than common sense speaks to the lady. The point is that the representative of the fair sex will behave exactly like her chosen one. Namely, to go to restaurants, not to answer the phone, to return home late and to have fun in the company of strange men. This method is effective if a woman sees the boundaries of the permitted, namely, do not cross the forbidden line, called adultery.

Men’s opinion

What does the gentleman himself think at that moment when he realizes that the lady is jealous?

There are three stages of the male characteristic response to female jealousy:

  1. “That’s great. She loves me and treasures the relationship and appreciates me not only as an interesting person, but also as an alpha.”
  2. “If she’s jealous, the interest that other women show is real. So I have something that might attract the attention of other females
  3. “Bored. I’m sick of her jealousy. It’s time to move on. Let her find some other object for her constant tantrums.”

It happens that jealousy is like a flash of lightning in the night sky: light up once the firmament and disappears, as if it was not. This “storm” ladies are sometimes looking for themselves. Why check the phone of your beloved on purpose? Why sniff his jacket or look for red marks on his shirt?

Love is first of all trust.

Jealousy is only a side effect of love. It should not in any way come to the forefront and overshadow the most beautiful and tender feelings.

If “possessiveness” comes first, then we can safely talk about the egoism of the lady and her unwillingness to give her lover personal space and at least a little freedom of action.

Jealousy: Is it necessary or not a normal relationship

Before you once again roll up a scandal, you need to think about why a man is jealous.

First of all – it is insecurity. In this article, we will talk about why you should not be jealous of your husband.

A man trusts you

Have you ever wondered what makes you feel jealous? Most likely because you do not trust your partner, and there are reasons for that. Put yourself in his place.

If you were constantly making a scene of jealousy, surely it would be unpleasant.

You need to make every effort to make your significant other feel that you trust and love her. This is very important in order to maintain a harmonious relationship.

Is it worth it to show a man his jealousy: arguments for and against

So is it necessary to show emotions that literally overwhelm you? Jealousy – a feeling that resembles a spicy seasoning. In small quantities, it allows you to revive the relationship and in some cases to strengthen them. However, if you overdo it, you can ruin everything.

It has long been known that the negative emotions are several times more powerful than positive. Furious, maddening jealousy is simply impossible to keep secret for a long time. No matter how you try to hide it, it will still burst in the form of a bad mood, strong statements and constant dissatisfaction with themselves and your boyfriend.

Arguments for” have an emotional basis and attract women who are prone to expansive perception of the world. But to complete the picture, it is worth to get acquainted with the more logical arguments “against”:

  • Argument 1. Jealousy is a demonstration of selfishness. Would you be pleased if your loved one puts conditions that limit your independence? By being jealous, you forget that true love is built on respect and the personal freedom of the other person.
  • Argument 2. Unwarranted jealousy. It may be that it was not long legs rival, and her gaudy outfit or makeup attracted the attention of men. In this case, his opinion will be clearly not in favor of their owner.
  • Argument 3. Jealousy is humiliating for the man who loves you. You could accidentally offend your loved one, accusing him of what he suggested your wildest imagination.
  • Argument 4. Jealous, you emphasize their shortcomings. Women subconsciously allocate the opponent’s very qualities that they consider their weaknesses, and constantly draw attention to them. Even if the complexes are unfounded, the constant doubts make men believe in their existence.

Common sense dictates that it is better to hide this feeling. But what about the fact that you enjoy periodic attacks of jealousy of his man? After all, it was in these moments you are especially clear about how much he needs. Is the stronger sex “made of different dough”? No, but there are some nuances that will turn your weakness into strength.

To possess and to love are different things

Some women often confuse jealousy with obsession. This is the case when two people who love never break up and are constantly together. Each of us has the right to be alone. Spending time apart is very important.

Let your lover go to a soccer game with friends or go fishing, and in the meantime you can go to the movies with girlfriends. Personal space will be super glue for the relationship. It helps create healthy and peaceful relationships.

The positive aspects of female jealousy

There are advantages in such behavior, which can only strengthen the union of two loving hearts. If a woman has come to the conclusion that silence is no longer possible, she needs to think through her actions. How to explain to a man that it bothers? How to do it as successfully as possible?

5 proven ways to show jealousy man:

  1. Jealous means he loves . This immutable truth has survived since the grandparents of today’s youth. Jealousy makes a man feel like a conqueror and possessor. No one ever likes to feel second best. A little fire in a man’s eyes and he will be ready to move mountains to prove his love.
  2. The way is as simple as a cork: You need to scream a little. By showing a man her true feelings, a woman will get rid of her inner discomfort. Experts say that it gets easier because there is a way to get rid of angry energy and not to keep everything inside.
  3. You can always talk heart to heart. Argumented and logical to build evidence of their arguments and give weighty facts, confirming that jealousy is justified. After these conversations it becomes easier for everyone. The man is pleased that he was not snapped at and not yelled at, and the woman is happy because she got rid of jealousy.
  4. Doubts need to be said no . In what case will the lady be jealous? Only if there is a reason for it. And if the misunderstanding has a pronounced character and tormented by the unknown? It is necessary to dot all the “I “s and find out the detailed circumstances of what happened? When the unknown is replaced by certainty comes a relief. Even if the truth confirms the treason of a loved one.
  5. It is necessary to speak quietly . Strange advice? It is perfect for those ladies who want to be heard. There is no need to shout at your partner. The quieter the interlocutor speaks, the more they listen to the content of the conversation – this is an officially confirmed theory.

There is no need to inundate the man with questions.

If you want to know something from your loved one, you do not need to constantly ask him questions. Having asked something, give him the opportunity to answer and only then ask the next question. No need to do this so that your loved one felt as if he was under interrogation.

Some of the fairer sexes inundate their loved one with questions, hoping to catch him in a lie this way. It should be understood that such behavior wears out not only the man, but you yourself.

Author: Sergey Tumanov

How to make jealousy his ally?

Male jealousy helps women to improve their own self-esteem. Male self-esteem, by contrast, suffers greatly from mistrust and doubts expressed by his beloved in the form of jealousy. Men are more self-centered and, therefore, more independent of others’ opinions. Women are more vulnerable: worrying about their appearance, the constant desire to attract men’s attention, competition with friends – this and much more is the basis for low self-esteem and the emergence of complexes. As a consequence – attacks of unwarranted jealousy. What the right thing to do in this situation? Remember a few rules:

  1. You shouldn’t show jealousy very often. Remember how quickly you stop paying attention to the same small household inconveniences or the faces of acquaintances. To their standard greetings you often respond automatically, without even thinking about it. Absolutely the same reaction occurs in a man who hears the constant daily accusations of infidelity.
  2. Brevity – the sister of talent. Prolonged scandals and quarrels will make any normal man run away from you. Besides, the researchers proved that the stronger sex perceives short phrases better and appreciates in a woman’s sense of humor. Conclusion: An ironic, emotional phrase will reach the goal much faster and hide your weakness.
  3. Do not raise your voice. It is noticed that a person pays much more attention to the speech of the interlocutor, if he has to listen to what is being said. And especially if you decide to make a remark to a man in a public place, it is worth behaving delicately. Attracting the attention of others to the unpleasant subject, you will only get his irritation and shame about your insensitivity.
  4. Demonstrate your jealousy in private. A jealous man who has no hard evidence for his assumptions is often pathetic and ridiculous. Trying to get rid of negative emotions, you probably want to cause the man the same suffering that experienced themselves. Fretting and winding himself, you run the risk of the most ridiculous and ridiculous accusations. Think about whether others should see you in a stupid position.
  5. It’s better to act than to talk. It’s not exactly a rule, but if you are a person with a strong character, not throwing up his hands in difficult situations, then this method has a good chance of success. Suppose that your remarks went unheeded. Then just put your loved one in a situation similar to yours. For example: he often goes to entertainment without you and does not answer the phone. Allow yourself and you to leave him alone for a few evenings. Of course, do not pick up the phone either. When you meet him, be sure to explain your behavior. Experiencing anxiety for you, nervous and even jealous, he is likely to realize his guilt.

Try to pay attention to what your man likes about other women. Bright makeup or clothing style? – Take it up a notch. Long hair? – Not a problem either. Show a sense of humor: a wig will not only make him start a conversation on a relevant topic for you first. A radical change in your appearance will attract his attention for a long time.

How to Stop Jealous Husband, Psychologist’s Advice

Jealousy arises in response to real or imaginary treason, invented by our inflamed brain. And then, what to do with jealousy of her husband in such a situation?

  • Recognize whether there is a real reason for jealousy. What is it about your husband’s behavior that makes you wary? Carry out an audit of your fears. After all, unfounded jealousy and suspicions of infidelity can push him to the real treason. Our thoughts (suspicions or expectations) sooner or later come true. So do not predict unpleasant events for yourself.
  • If you are constantly jealous of your husband, it shows your low self-esteem. It comes from childhood. It is formed in adolescence, and we get the results in adulthood. Analyze how you feel about yourself, how you see yourself. You do not think you are beautiful enough and believe that you are not worthy of love and respect? Are you a helpless and unsure of yourself? Do you expect others (and your husband) to be unfaithful, unfaithful, and unfaithful? What you expect is what you will get. Therefore, change yourself, your self-esteem, your attitude toward people. Learn to control your life, your destiny. This is not done quickly, there is enough work on yourself for the rest of your life.
  • The profession of a wife is very important and necessary. But if you can not cope with bouts of jealousy, it means that you have become addicted to this role, stuck on it. You live only for her husband, sacrificing your own needs, interests, desires, dreams and plans. Your dedication to love will soon bore him. It is better to learn to control the emotions born of jealousy, not to lose your sense of self and your husband’s respect for you. Keep yourself as a person, live your interests, do your own thing, create your own living space.
  • Be exceptionally vigilant about your girlfriends. Keep them at a respectful distance from your husband. Even if they come from your distant childhood. After all, love, a willful feeling, will appear where you do not expect it at all. Don’t risk it. Your husband and your girlfriends should exist separately, at a respectful distance. Set priorities. But remember: your husband should always come first.
  • If your chosen one has already had experience of family life, and somewhere there is his ex-wife, then you should not bring it up. As much as you don’t want to discuss the subject, refrain. Your jealousy of your ex-wife may play a cruel trick on you.

About being jealous of someone who is jealous.

If you love your jealous man, then try to be close to him, rather than running from him to who knows where and with whom. At the heart of jealousy is the fear of the unknown, the lack of information. Tell your jealous man everything he wants to hear from you. He asks questions, and you answer them calmly, clearly and distinctly. This is the only way to reduce the level of misinformation of the man who is jealous because he does not know where you are and with whom.

Jealousy is a sense of possible loss. Imagine that you can lose something valuable and important. Your job, business, house, car could be taken away from you. Your loved one could be interested in other people. How would you feel? These are exactly the kind of feelings a jealous person feels. Understand this and give him what he is asking of you. Give him the confidence and all the information he wants to know to feel loved by you.

About Jealousy to Jealous People.

Jealousy is a legitimate emotional reaction to the estrangement that occurs between people. It happens when each partner begins to do their own thing. For example, a man spends a lot of time at work and a woman at home. Each seems to live in their own world, and one (the one who is jealous), his world becomes much more interesting than the world in which the partner lives (the one who is jealous). Each lives on his or her own. It is this aloofness that makes one jealous.

What should be done to eliminate the estrangement that has arisen between partners? It is necessary to find a common interest that unites people. What are you and your partner interested in? Maybe you like to travel or watch movies together. Let this interest will enter your life so you can spend as much time together.

How not to be jealous

Still, if you are jealous of your husband of everything and everyone, try to follow the advice offered by psychologists below.

  • Do not make a stormy scene of jealousy on any occasion and without reason (just in case). So you will wean your husband from coming home: he will look for (and find!) a safe haven.
  • If any suspicion is aroused, don’t start a game of silence. It’s a bad idea to make a man feel guilty and wonder where and what he did wrong. Especially if he doesn’t know anything about your speculation. Refusing to communicate with your husband is extremely dangerous to your relationship. Do not be afraid to clarify the relationship, if it is really necessary.
  • Don’t show your resentment, don’t sulk at him for too long. A few minutes? Maybe, but not hours, days or weeks. Unfortunately, some women fall into this foolishness: with their lips pressed together sorrowfully, they can cherish their resentment for weeks, poisoning themselves and their husband’s lives. Often for no reason at all.
  • Even more foolish, based on suspicion, to refuse to have sexual relations with her husband. How will this step help you overcome your jealousy of your husband? There will always be those who will gladly satisfy his sexual appetite. Do you need that? And if you’re inclined to have sex with your husband, try to be on top of it. Do not be stingy with compliments to him, even if he did not succeed. No critical remarks! Only in this case, and with you he will feel confident and relaxed.
  • Do not judge your girlfriends, the women around your husband, and a rival if she appears on the horizon. Praise in a way that makes their virtues look like flaws.
  • Jealousy is a hard and uncontrollable feeling. Alcohol can relax and eliminate anxiety for a while. But never, under any circumstances, allow yourself to get drunk to cope with jealousy. A drunk wife is a pathetic sight.
  • Don’t try to manipulate your husband with imaginary illnesses. If you get his attention, it won’t last long. But any ailment is easy to program for yourself. Do not joke about these things.
  • After a conflict with your husband, never leave the house. Well, if only for one hour, to walk, breathe, calm down, come to your senses, to think about how to overcome jealousy of her husband. The main thing is to be calm and confident.
  • Do not throw tantrums when figuring out the relationship, with crying and sobbing. Well, once – twice you can cry: maybe he will make some effort to calm down, to pity and caress. But then the flood of tears he is so tired, so annoying that he will run away where you will have no place.
  • Suffering from jealousy, do not let yourself run down and fade. It is known that beautiful women are rarely jealous of their men: they know their worth. There is no such thing as an ugly woman. You just have to be always charming to her husband and children. Think about what impression you make on the people around you and, above all, your spouse? Is he (your image) attractive to him? Create your personal irresistible image. How to do it? Advice on this subject you will find a great many. Dare! Create! True, it takes a lot of time, but it will help you stop being jealous of your husband.
  • Don’t demand from him constant assurances of love and fidelity. He has already told you once about his feelings for you and offered his hand and heart. They (men) do not like to repeat themselves on this subject. Do not overdo it yourself in a demonstration of love for her husband. Show tenderness within reason, knowing the time and place where it is appropriate to do so. The more you show love to him, the less he will love you. This is the paradox of love.
  • Don’t have a total surveillance of your spouse, don’t control his every move. Will you be happy, wasting your precious life, watching your husband’s behavior hourly? Will he be happy when he finds out?
  • When experiencing a flash of jealousy, don’t try to manipulate your husband into threatening or attempting suicide. Such women deserve to be abandoned.
  • Keep your dignity, don’t lose face when you figure things out, don’t stoop to insults and swearing. But do not turn into a fluffy mat at your husband’s feet if he has already made a choice in favor of another woman. Don’t settle for anything just to keep him at all costs. The battle is not over .

Jealousy, as mentioned above, is poorly controlled by our minds. It is a complex and tenacious feeling. So think carefully about all your steps in your relationship with the man you care about. Do not do what your emotions dictate to you at the moment, and what you need to implement your plans. Jealous, but wisely. Don’t lose the brakes on this issue. Know how to benefit from your jealousy. Remember, not to be jealous of your husband, be worthy of his love and loyalty.

It all depends on whether women know how to be jealous, know how to cope with this feeling and how not to be jealous.

Rating
( No ratings yet )
Like this post? Please share to your friends:
Leave a Reply