If your husband insults: describe in detail

Husband constantly insults me. What to do?

Every woman wants to be happy. To have a reliable, caring and loving man, to create a family and raise children. And most importantly – every woman has every right to do so. If your husband constantly humiliates and insults you, raises his hand and swears in foul language, then it is time to exercise this right.

What if a woman is in a situation where previously loving, attentive and caring husband suddenly insults and humiliates her, starts to insult her for no apparent reason? Humiliates her, swearing and raising his hand, even in front of the children. What is the reason for this behavior? Why some people are doing well, and someone’s husband constantly insults his wife against the background of the overall family prosperity?

To understand this problem will help us system-vector psychology. It explains that the husband who insults and humiliates his wife, has a strictly defined type of psyche, which is given to him from birth. In layman’s terms, we can say that a man who is seen verbally or physically sadistic over his wife has a special type of character.

Who is he, the husband who abuses and humiliates his wife?

By nature, he is faithful, loving, and caring. Potentially. Looking at him, you can tell right away that family and children are his main value in life. Such a man will play with the children, and home to clean up, and even cook. A real “homebody man” in the best sense of the word. Next to such a man any woman feels like a stone wall. “System-vector psychology” by Yuri Burlan defines such a man as a carrier of the anal vector.

In his personal life, such a man is looking for a woman who is modest and honest. For him, the value is if his spouse had no one before him. He is caring and patient.

Wait, but we just described the ideal husband, didn’t we? Does this man yell and insult the woman, insult her and swear in front of her children? Is such a husband capable of humiliating and insulting his wife?

Why does a caring husband call his wife names and turn into a sadist?

Yes, such a husband insults and humiliates a woman, but only under certain conditions – more often under the inability or impossibility of sufficient social and/or sexual realization. A peculiarity of the psyche of a man with an anal vector is rigidity. Any sudden change – whether it is a new job, a new partner, a new place of residence – always causes a stress to such a person. Sometimes the stress is so strong that the person is unable to adapt to it and “falls down” into bad states.

With prolonged dissatisfaction, all his best qualities change their sign from plus to minus. For example, if such a man loses his job, and with it his respect, his ability to express himself as a professional in society, he begins to accumulate frustration. Frustration is “want and don’t get.” I want authority and respect at work, but I don’t get it. I want respect in the family, but I don’t get it. I want regular intimacy with a woman, but I don’t get it.

A frustrated anal man turns from a faithful, caring, clean-cut man into his opposite, a critic, a verbal sadist, a man capable of violence. Such a husband insults his wife, insults her, curses and sometimes even raises his hand against her. And he remains focused on his family, his wife and children. Only now he directs not his positive qualities towards them, but his negative ones.

Since the value for a man with anal vector is a woman’s purity, the husband does not just insult and humiliate his wife, he starts calling her “whore…” and awarding her with other insulting epithets, talking about the “dirty” behavior of his woman. He looks for “dirt”, flaws in her appearance (even if they are not there), starts to speak negatively about her appearance. The husband scolds and insults his wife, thereby worsening an already strained relationship.

Such a husband insults his woman for absolutely nothing. In the vast majority of cases, the wife is sadistically abused for nothing. She keeps the house clean, takes care of the children, and often even makes a good living. She is seen as “dirty” and “unworthy” only in the distorted perception of her dissatisfied husband.

Husband constantly insults his wife – how much to put up with?

So, an anal man yells and humiliates a woman only by being highly dissatisfied with life. The reasons for sadism over wives most often lie exactly in this. Being frustrated, a man with an anal vector seeks to get rid of his inner dissatisfaction and dumps it on the closest and most valuable people, which is when the husband insults his wife and swears in front of his children.

It should be understood that a person in such a state seeks only to alleviate his own suffering and relieve himself of stress, negative states and experiences. He does this unconsciously. Sometimes he is internally horrified at himself and does not understand – how he got to such a life? But does this mean that a woman must endure and forgive, when her husband constantly humiliates and insults her, and even with the children?

This question is easy to answer when you do not have anything particularly connected with the man and can easily break off the relationship without prejudice. But what if you already have a family, children, jointly acquired property, which will have to painfully divide? What if you value and close to the man? If, despite the fact that your husband abuses you, you still want to keep the relationship with him?

Who is to blame and what to do if a man yells and insults a woman?

Unfortunately, all the unbearable burden of this situation with a man falls on the woman. Most often it is she who is the most unprotected and injured party in this conflict. Her husband insults and humiliates her as he wants, and she has to endure, being weaker and more responsible for the children, and often financially dependent on the man.

And here there can be two possible developments for a woman who is insulted and humiliated by her husband. If the man is experiencing slight frustrations, there is still a chance to get out of them. And here a woman who is aware of all his psychological peculiarities can help him in this with understanding of the situation, with advice and moral support. For the owner of an anal vector the phrase – “she understands me” – are not just words. Understanding, sincere participation and support of a beloved woman encourages him and gives him strength to overcome any difficulties.

But it may be that the frustrations of the anal man have become severe and lingering. Today the husband insults, humiliates and suppresses his wife. Tomorrow he will begin to wring his hands and use physical violence. The day after tomorrow he will beat his wife on the back with his fist. Any desire goes to promotion, including violence, up to and including domestic murder.

If a husband insults, humiliates and raises his hand on a woman, she needs to understand that her life and health – both her own and her children’s – are already at stake. In this case you cannot wait and hope that everything will work itself out. It is necessary to grab the children in an umbrella and run away from the domestic sadist in whatever they have, for the stakes can be very high. But how do you know which of two options to choose? Try to fix the situation or save your life right now?

What to do if your husband constantly insults and humiliates you: run away or forgive?

If you are in a situation in life when your husband insults you, then first of all you need to understand the peculiarities of the psyche of your man. To understand how to talk to him. What you can expect from him. To understand what led him into this negative state of extreme dissatisfaction with life. Why a previously caring, reliable and loving husband is abusing his wife. Only then will you be able to help first of all yourself, and secondly – the whole family and her husband – to get out of this difficult situation.

To make this choice will help training “System-vector psychology” Yuri Burlan.

Almost 15,000 people have already received results due to the training, including in the area of relationships. Here’s how they themselves talk about it:

“I realized that these were signs of a tyrant and an emotionally unstable, very insecure person, and in no way evidence of great love. I am now in a developing relationship with a calm and noble man who is very respectful and attentive to me.”

“The divorce went off without a hitch. Why? Because it was already clearer on the first level what the anal frustrant was and what the injury to this man was. No remarks or unnecessary emotion. It went like this man, the father of my child put it, “I married you in some kind of fog and love delusion, all I wanted was for you to be mine, divorce you and I’m in a state of confusion too, I kind of want to latch on and snap at you and can’t, don’t even almost want to.” To which I told him – I understand you…”

Is it possible to be happy if your husband abuses and humiliates you?

Every woman wants to be happy. To have a reliable, caring and loving man, to create a family and raise children. And most importantly – every woman has every right to do so. If your husband constantly humiliates and insults you, raises his hand and swears in foul language, then it is time to exercise this right.

Just tolerate, when her husband insults and humiliates – not a solution. In this case, the woman feels great stress and loses a sense of security, which normally provides her with a man. The mother’s condition immediately affects the children, who at this point grow up with huge psychological traumas. In adulthood, these traumas will most tragically affect their ability to successfully fulfill themselves in society and create happy couples relationships.

Tired of your husband abusing and humiliating you? Don’t wait until it’s too late – right at this moment you and your children are taking serious psychological damage. Start taking action right now. Sign up for free online training Yuri Burlan “System-Vector Psychology” .

What to do if my husband is abusive?

Unfortunately, in some families there is male violence against women. This happens primarily because one party allows himself to be abused, and the other party, having a rude character, takes advantage of it. A man who insults and humiliates a woman is disgusting to normal people.

The main reasons

It happens that events develop as follows: before the wedding he gave flowers, and after the wedding he began to be rude and often insulting. Further – more. A woman went on maternity leave and became financially dependent on her husband. If a representative of the stronger sex has a psychology and character of the tyrant, then he will show his importance in every way: scandalous, arrogant and speak in an orderly tone with his pregnant wife. If a woman objects, threats and insults will follow.

It is good if the woman has somewhere to go and get help. However, there are desperate situations. But you can always find a way out. It is necessary to deal with the causes of her husband’s inappropriate behavior and the options that caused this behavior. And they can be several.

The very first reason is a tyrant husband. It is possible that a psycho-type before the wedding and behaved with his future wife is not very chivalrous. For example, could easily push out of the car in a fit of anger, or publicly insult. Only a strong sense of love often blinds a girl. And many do not want to notice the flaws in the character of their chosen one. And the result is an unhappy life after marriage.

In the other case, the man is a real donzhuana. Such a man is quickly bored with marital duties after marriage. His wife’s pregnancy does not bother him at all, and even hinders him. He wants new sensations, and he is always looking for them. An affair on the side will cause discord in the family. Insults will follow. The woman is either to put up with the situation or break up with an unfaithful husband.

It also happens that the couple have been married for a long time. Feelings in the husband cooled down a little, and he felt like the “master of life. For example, children are growing up in the family, and the wife is busy with household chores and does not have the opportunity to earn much money. The husband is the main breadwinner in the family. If such a man has self-centered traits, sooner or later they will manifest themselves. The husband will treat his spouse with contempt, humiliate and insult her in every way. Get away from such and children.

The woman is afraid of losing her husband, because she loves him very much, or she simply has nowhere to go. In this case includes elementary jealousy. On this basis, the wife begins to suspect her husband of cheating. She checks his pockets, his phone, asks unnecessary questions. Over time, this behavior pushes the conflict. Scandals become the result.

Another cause of violence can be a sense of inferiority, developed in a man over the years. Such a flaw will contribute to self-assertion at the expense of bullying his spouse. A severe case that will gain momentum if the woman does not actively resist.

Another cause is a relationship on the side. The man is torn in two, and thinks his legitimate spouse is to blame. Divorce will be followed by the division of property. Many do not want this and are afraid of it. They relieve the nerve overload by humiliating and insulting their wife.

Our life is multifaceted, so there are no standard and unambiguous situations. There are only patterns, which are filled with different circumstances in different cases. Family scandals should not become the norm.

What to do?

The first law of psychology says that the psychologist should not give specific advice and even more so demand that you necessarily execute them. A good specialist should only direct a person to the right solution to the problem through reasoning and conclusions that the same person should do yourself.

If the offending husband, it happens that often in a drunken form, then with this phenomenon must necessarily fight. Otherwise you’ll get morally tired and can seriously ill physically. Constantly tolerate tyranny and resentment is impossible. So you need to make a choice: to leave your husband or kick him out of the house (if there is such a legal possibility) or stay with him in the marriage and start together to fix the situation. Which of these ways will suit you, decide for yourself.

In the first two cases it is more or less clear what you do next. But if you can not break up with her husband, then start fighting for your happiness and family. This will mean that your situation is not as critical as it seems at first glance. The following tips may help you.

Your husband insults you, picks on you for nothing and little things, constantly brings you to tears. The situation is not very pleasant, but correctable. First of all, try not to pay attention to his provocations. Do not cry and do not be offended. Take it with indifference.

If he will continue his actions, turn to him, look him in the eye and ask what caused such behavior. Only do it without hysterics. Explain in a calm tone how offended you are to hear unfounded accusations, give examples and arguments. Say that your patience is about to “burst”, and then you have to break up forever. Remind him of the children who are also suffering. It is possible that your husband does not always think about what he says, and such actions will bring him to his senses.

Do not be upset if the first time you did not work out the way you wanted. Have these conversations over a long period of time until the situation is eradicated.


If your spouse insults you, don’t repeat after them. Try to cry or make a very hurt look. Sit in a corner and sit in silence. His ardor will soon dry up and he will calm down.

Try to leave the family. Take the children and live temporarily in your parents. If your husband comes for you, do not open the door right away. Tell him that you do not want to see him again, if he does not change his attitude toward you.

Come another time, include your relatives in the conversation. Have them tell you that they will not allow him to bully you anymore. Husband should feel that you are not alone: you have protection and somewhere to go.

Criticizes your appearance and figure

The next problem is when a husband criticizes his wife’s figure and appearance, comparing her to other women. He says that she is not a good hostess, in addition, she does not have a very pleasant appearance compared to the appearance of her neighbor. This attitude causes tension in the family. It is exacerbated when the spouse makes remarks about one or another of the wife’s actions.

It could mean that your spouse has a little bit of cold feelings for you. They need to be refreshed. To do this, just cause a little jealousy. Show your chosen one that you can like other men. Fundamentally change your appearance. Recolor your hair, make trendy hairstyles, manicure, buy a few modern outfits. “Give” yourself a bouquet (just so your husband doesn’t know it) and bring it home. For all questions, answer evasively and playfully. You yourself will see that her husband’s attitude towards you dramatically changed.

It happens in life that her husband calls his wife bad words, often doing it in front of the children. You feel how he treats you disrespectfully even when there are other people. This really spoils the mood. In this case, you have to fight and be sure to demand a proper attitude.

To begin with put yourself in order (do every day makeup, hairstyle), fatten up morally and physically. Do not allow yourself to behave the way very scandalous women behave. All the time speak correctly and culturally in front of children and in public. It is desirable that your husband is always there.

When your spouse is in a good mood, tell him that you are a beautiful couple and you want it to be so always. Ask your husband not to behave inappropriately with you anymore. For a model family, this is not acceptable. If your husband is not a bad man, and before just did not think about such issues, then he will respond to your call, and you all will be fine.

Blames everything

It happens that your husband blames you for everything all the time. What is not your fault: not as it should be, raising children, because of your misbehavior with you are different troubles and so on. Everyone should understand that it is not good to put all the responsibility on the shoulders of their loved ones, especially on the woman.

In such cases, do not be lost and sincerely believe that you are doing something wrong all the time. First believe in your own strength, instill confidence. Do not make excuses, if your husband once again starts to reproach you. Calmly and without hysterics ask him: “And what would you have done in this situation? He will answer you to this question. And you say that now you will always consult with him before you do anything. And the next few times, consult with him, even for trifles. Do this even when he is busy with something. Let him get tired of it. As a result, his husband will make a lot of mistakes. He will begin to realize that he was wrong.

What to do if a man beats his wife?

A difficult situation, and any normal person would advise to run away from him as far as possible. However, the specialist must first understand why this is happening. The cases are different. A lot of people live on Earth, and their characters are different. Definitely, a self-respecting man, with a healthy mind and a morally stable character, will never raise his hand against a woman, even if he is driven to “white heat”. In the worst case he will destroy all the furniture and even the house, but he will not lay a finger on the fairer sex.

By the way, in some cases, the woman provokes the intemperate and not quite bring up the representative of the stronger sex to violence. She is the first to insult and humiliate the man. She may even raise her hand and hit him on the cheek. It is quite possible that in this case she will get back.

Such women can be recommended to restrain themselves every time they really want to argue and express their point of view. To do this, take a breath and exhale before taking any action. Then look around you. Perhaps close to you are loved ones and even children. Look at yourself from the outside through their eyes.

Become feminine and weak. If you’re very hurt, then cry and go into another room. Man by nature is meant to protect the other half. He will want to feel sorry for you. And when he does, calmly explain to him what he was wrong about, and expose the offense. Fights and physical abuse in your family will stop.

A more severe case when you have a husband with an inadequate and aggressive nature. Here you need to think carefully before you take any decision. Any excuses about him will be inappropriate if he beats you systematically.

It also happens that a woman is very dependent on her tormentor-husband. And she has no one to turn to for help. There are no loved ones, or they don’t want to help. You should not endure the beatings, and you need to go to a crisis center. There you will definitely get help with housing, support morally and financially, until you become independent.

If you want to fix the situation and make sure that your husband stopped behaving cruelly towards you, try to get out of the turning point on your own.

To do this, stop forgiving your husband. Act according to the letter of the law, the essence of which is that any violence and torture against the person is unacceptable. For non-compliance with the law will be punished. It can occur if you ask for help from the appropriate authorities.

There is no need to forgive, but to fight back firmly. All his character to show that such attacks will not pass with you without trace. Psychologists have noted the fact that some of the tyrant husbands left their wives for other women.

In the new family, they became compliant and fundamentally changed their behavior toward their new spouse. It turned out that the second wife initially made it clear that she would not allow her chosen one to bully herself. From this we can conclude that inadequate husband can be tamed, if time to make it clear that you are “not a doll for beating.

How to behave if my ex-husband humiliates me?

Family breakdown and divorce – this does not mean that the former spouses will never meet again. Many couples stay together in the same apartment, as they have nowhere to go, and there is no way to separate.

This is where the problems begin. An ex-spouse can come home drunk and start his abuse. In this case, he forgets that you have become almost strangers. Thus, the “ex” is trying to regain power over you.

You can ask for help from the special services, designed to monitor the order. At the same time, try to divide your apartment and put locks in your half of the apartment. This measure will psychologically separate your ex-husband from you.

Do not respond to insults and humiliation. Pretend that for you, the man simply does not exist. Get to know another man. Perhaps his appearance in your life will turn things around. Ex-husband will realize that everything has changed fundamentally and will stop showing interest in you, and with it disappear insults.

It is not uncommon for former spouses to go through a divorce unknowingly. Both still have feelings that they had for each other over the years. Perhaps your spouse is trying to reconcile with you. Only it makes it inept, exactly as would do it a schoolboy, pulling his classmate for plait.

Do not judge in such a case, it is strict. Think about the fact that you should improve the relationship. If you have children growing up, then reconstructing the marriage will be a natural conclusion to your family drama. Make a decision and talk to your husband about it. In this situation, your proposal he will gladly accept, and as a result you will be happy again.

Advice from a psychologist

A crisis in the relationship is not the final verdict. Everything can still be fixed, if there is a great desire. However, remember that your husband should also want to fix the situation. Otherwise, the following advice is simply meaningless. In order for the divorce to not happen, then start to act on points.

  • You are not divorced, and between you still happens a romantic relationship. Try at this point to remind her husband about your meetings, about your love. How you met, how the wedding went, and so on. Perhaps this will stir up new feelings in your spouse, and he will stop acting inadequately.
  • Take your husband to the movies, for a walk. On the way, remember how happy you were. Tell your spouse what is happening in your soul now, how hard to endure from your loved one such humiliation and insult. Give an example of the phrases that your spouse says, when he tries to humiliate you. Perhaps, being in such a good mood, he will look at himself and he will be ashamed of his behavior.
  • It is better not to turn to the help of friends, but if there is no other way, ask them to talk to your husband. Have someone from the outside tell your spouse that he or she is doing you wrong.
  • Remind your husband that you have children in the family, and his aggressive behavior is simply not acceptable in this situation.

A woman should always remain a woman. She just have to require men to treat them accordingly. If this does not happen, then look for the problem in yourself. Once you find it and fix it, and immediately there will be women’s happiness.

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