If a man provokes jealousy: study in general terms

Why does a Man Provoke Jealousy?

In a romantic relationship, jealousy is often present. It is a feeling that most people have experienced in their lives. Jealousy comes in many forms, as do the reasons for its occurrence. Often the feeling arises involuntarily, even when there are no provoking factors.

Mostly jealousy is inherent in women as creatures of more emotional. However, this feeling is familiar and the representatives of the male sex. In this case, sometimes a man specifically makes jealous. There are a number of basic reasons why a man provokes a woman to be jealous.

Why does a man purposely provoke jealousy?

1. Trying to draw attention to his person. A man can do this for a variety of reasons. For example, if a woman does not respond to his feelings or does not pay attention to him. The second variant also occurs in married couples. In order to draw attention to himself, a man may begin to meet with other women. In this way he tries to arouse the jealousy and sympathy of the woman he cares for.

2. Insecurity in himself or in the feelings of the woman he loves. With his lover’s jealousy, the man tests how strong the love. However, in this case, it is important not to “go too far. A man can try to check feelings, focusing on the strength of the provoked jealousy.

3. When the relationship was interrupted on the woman’s initiative. A man tries to arouse jealousy because he is not sure of himself, trying to assert himself or trying to win back his beloved.

Sometimes jealousy is used for revenge. For example, when a man discovers that his woman is cheating on him or showing interest in other males. In this case, he will start dating other ladies and will try to make the news of his affairs reach his beloved.

5. For the variety of life. Ideal relationships are good, but in this case the initial light, interest is lost. As a result, the man becomes bored, and he will start to create situations that will inflame feelings.

6. To maintain a female tone in relations, not to allow her to relax. A man, causing jealousy, tries to ensure that his beloved was always “on top”, watching herself, fearing to lose his beloved.

Some men just like the attention when several women are fighting for him at once. Sometimes make jealous can be an ex-spouse, who is sure that the ex-wife is still indifferent to him. Often, in this way, the husband is trying to win back his spouse after a divorce.

In any case, trying to cause jealousy, the man will openly appear with another woman, etc., so that his real girlfriend will pay attention.

A man makes you jealous, how should you behave?

When a man tries to make a woman jealous, how should a lady react to this? Definitely, it is necessary to behave calmly and do not give in to provocation. It is good to “turn on” a sense of humor, even a little teasing at the efforts of his soul mate (if a woman is sure that jealousy is caused on purpose).

Often women themselves make “out of the fly”. If a man makes her jealous, it is best to ask directly about the reasons for such behavior, to say that it is unpleasant. Hysterics, hints and frowns your partner may just not understand.

However, if jealousy is provoked on purpose, you should react depending on what the man wants to achieve. For example, also start flirting, so that the situation is fundamentally changed. However, it should be borne in mind that a man can react ambiguously and even be offended.

Sometimes the relationship degenerates into “domestic violence”. Then the man may try to find another object of passion to once again feel “on a horse. In this case, a woman needs to pay attention to your appearance, put it in order, to find time for walks, going to the movies or just to friends, to try to return the old relationship. Otherwise, a temporary infatuation with another woman can develop into a strong new feeling.

Why does a man make you jealous?

If a man is just very companionable or his flirting is casual in nature, it’s not worth paying attention to at all. In any case, you should not make a home fight with breaking of dishes. It should find out or to find out for yourself why a man makes his lady jealous. Depending on this – calmly correct the disagreements or situations.

About the author: Hi, I’m Karolina Korablova. I live in the Moscow region, in the city of Odintsovo. I love life and people. I try to be realistic and optimistic about life. In people I appreciate the ability to behave. I am fond of psychology, in particular, conflict resolution. Graduated from the Russian State Social University, department of psychology of work and special psychology.

Male jealousy: signs and causes

People have different feelings towards each other. Some hate, others passionately love. And there is also such a feeling as jealousy. They say that jealousy and love always go hand in hand.

Stereotypical opinion has no basis in fact. A truly loving person will try their best not to hurt their family and friends.

What is it?

The science of psychology is about the soul. It studies and describes a person’s emotional states. Jealousy is one of the most vivid feelings that can be experienced not only by humans, but also by animals. Men and women have different temperaments. Feelings of jealousy torment more those who can not and do not want to restrain their emotions.

Representatives of the male sex are jealous of their women for various reasons. Consider the most common ones.

  • For example, take a man who is very emotional, but kind and gentle. And then he had a chance to fall in love a lot! And the woman gave, albeit a small, but cause for jealousy. Because of intemperance he can afford to express his dissatisfaction in a mild form and nothing more.
  • The other man also has an intemperate nature, but on top of all this he is rude, rude and cruel. This cocktail of feelings leads to the fact that for him love becomes an obsession. Such an individual will not be ceremonious if his girlfriend will give reason to be jealous. He will vent all the negativity on those around him. First of all, the object of his adoration will suffer.
  • The following case is the most unpredictable. The man is an egoist. Everything around him should belong only to him! He always loves only himself.

The woman is also a part of his world. Such a man doesn’t need a special reason to be jealous. One glance or an innocent joke is enough and he will make a scene, as he sincerely believes that he has every right to do so.

  • The combination of cruelty and insecurity is the hardest case. Such a man is capable of any act. He can allow himself violence against a woman. He doesn’t need a reason. He will think it up himself. It will be such an act of self-assertion. His girlfriend is just a “punching bag” for him to hurt in order to vent his negative emotions.

Of course, you can give many more examples. Each man has an individual personality traits that can be intertwined in different ways. Look closely to his companion, and you will be able to determine which of these examples closer to his behavior.

Male overconfidence, sometimes even unconscious, leads to the suffering of his loved ones. Jealous husband – it’s a disaster for women. People say “beats and is jealous, it means he loves.” But how unpleasant to watch the scene when the husband chases his half-naked wife down the street with his fists. The poor woman does not know where to go from such “love”.

Reasons

First of all, it is a sense of possessiveness. If a man is not indifferent to another, he feels fear of losing his object of adoration. And this is quite natural. But in different cases it manifests itself in different ways.

It all depends on the reason why a person became so jealous. Perhaps in his distant childhood there was a psychological trauma. Maybe his mother left the family for another man and abandoned him and his father. Then it will seem to such an individual that his chosen one sooner or later will do the same.

A sense of insecurity, fear of total loneliness pushes shy man to jealousy in the home. He considers himself a simple man. He works in a factory, is interested in soccer, does not read books. And the wife, on the contrary – intellectual, good-looking, smart, working at a prestigious job.

The disparity of personal qualities and characters will lead to the fact that the husband will develop a depressive state. He will become irritable and suspicious. He will start to control his spouse in all of her actions, so as not to give him the opportunity to understand that he is not worthy of her.

Sometimes the male representative is focused on some unsolvable problem that happened in his life. After experiencing grief, he is afraid of losing his last loved one. Therefore, a man will be jealous of his chosen one and try not to lose sight of her every move.

Women are different. Some deliberately go to the conflict and try to cause jealousy spouse, flirting “left and right. They like it, so they assert themselves and amuse themselves and the people around them. As a result, such behavior inevitably leads to scandals and divorce.

Jealousy in men can cause too independent behavior of the wife. When she allows herself to do whatever she wants, has a high-paying job and rotates in a team of men. Sense of ownership and dignity will not give her husband long tolerate such behavior of his spouse. Eventually he will first begin to make claims, and if this does not help, he will pack up and leave the house.

Rumors, unfounded talk about his wife’s infidelity may also set a man to a manifestation of jealousy.

Let’s say, mother-in-law constantly tells her son that his wife is often delayed at work, dress too bright, not watching the children.

Over time, the man succumbs to indoctrination and begins to treat his other half with suspicion. This leads to scandals and discord in the family.

How does it manifest itself?

Male jealousy is not visible to the naked eye. This feeling can be “coded” under different reasons for the manifestation of discontent in everyday life.

Experienced professionals have learned to determine the subtle signs of jealousy and identify its causes. However, you can see for yourself, jealous of you or not a loved one. To do this, compare the following examples with examples of your man’s behavior. If you notice a coincidence, then change your behavior, making it clear that you are a faithful spouse.

  • For example, your husband often picks on your makeup, and too bright clothes make him furious. Special treatment of an animal, such as a dog, also irritates him.
  • Some husbands are interested in all the things that happen around the beloved. They need to know everything to the last detail: what you were talking to a friend on the phone, what’s happening in the team, and even what streetcar you drove home today, and so on.
  • Frequent visits to parents can also cause possessive feelings. A man will grumble about the fact that there is no food in the house (although the refrigerator is full of provisions), and his wife at the same time goes to God knows where.
  • Often women cannot understand what is causing their husband’s aggression. All attempts to establish contact are not understood. Heightened excitability and nervousness of the spouse may also be a consequence of jealousy.
  • Sullenness and taciturnity also speak about an attack of jealousy of the husband. An itchy feeling causes stress, and so the man closes in on himself. Anxious thoughts do not allow you to relax.

  • The man may often disappear at work. This does not mean that he is cheating on you. It is possible that this is the manifestation of his latent jealousy. He is freaking out and wants you to pay attention to him and think about the fact that you can lose your loved one.
  • By the way, many psychologists have noted the fact that they came for counseling people who have been married for a very long time, and had a very advanced age. As it turns out, the husband was jealous of his wife, because he was afraid to lose not only a loved one, but also the established way of life, which suited him completely. At first glance it seems that the attacks of jealousy in this category of people can only cause a reproachful smile, but there is nothing funny about it. People, indeed, experience a fear of loss that eclipses their minds.
  • To give another example: a woman has already had one failed marriage, after which she remarried. Now she and her current spouse are happy. Their happiness is disrupted by the husband’s jealousy of his wife’s past life. It seems to the man that his wife has not been able to forget her first love to the end. Anxiety about this gives fertile ground for the growth of marital conflict.

Jealousy slowly but surely leads people who are in a couple, to the breakdown of relations. To avoid this happening, take action in time.

How to react?

First of all, we must deal with the way in which manifested jealousy, and then act. Some women on forums where family problems are discussed, complain that her husband bothers them with his overly intrusive behavior. For example, he calls every half hour as soon as his wife leaves the house, he interferes with socializing with friends or does not allow to be alone in the country, he controls every step or offers a ride at every opportunity.

It should be said that there is no problem here. On the contrary, be glad that you have such a caring man. Other women can only dream of such care.

Remember that spending time together only strengthens the bonds of marriage.

Another thing is if the man shows signs of aggression. Here there are two options. If tolerating such behavior is not only impossible, but also dangerous, then you need to terminate the relationship as soon as possible. If you love your chosen one and feel that everything can be corrected, then be persistent and try to carry out a series of actions aimed at the full restoration of mutual understanding.

So, set goals and strictly follow the recommendations.

  • Eliminate causes for jealousy. Stop doing bright makeup, adjust your behavior, remove short skirts from the closet (give them to unmarried girlfriends). And no contact with men. Even with classmates at least for a short time to stop communicating.
  • Do not cause conflict. If your husband suspected you of cheating, do not deny anything, do not shout, and explain in a calm voice, under what circumstances you were delayed at work. After that, leave your husband alone for a while. Just go into another room. Let him think about the problem and calm down.
  • Each time reassure your chosen one that he is very dear to you as a man and as a person. Tell him that you will never meet someone like that again. And, in general, you’re not going to look for anyone. You have happiness – this is him and you do not need anything else.
  • Do not blame your husband in response to accusations directed in your direction. Explain to him that this behavior upsets and offends you greatly. It is interfering with your happiness.
  • Do not hide anything from him. Leave your phone in a prominent place. Let him know you have nothing to hide.
  • Be more than indifferent to other members of the stronger sex in front of your spouse. Never set an example of other men in opposition to your husband.
  • Create a comfortable home and treat your man with love, letting him know that he is the dearest and only one in the world.

Advice from a psychologist

Get rid of an unpleasant feeling is not easy. But you have to want it badly, and then it will succeed. No one can do this task except for yourself.

  • Sit in front of a mirror and look at yourself from the outside. Think about the emotions you are experiencing when your husband is jealous. Write down unpleasant feelings on paper. Subsequently, show them to your husband and explain that they are poisoning your life and destroying your family.
  • Talk to your husband face to face. Ask him to admit that he is jealous of you. Explain to him that you don’t have to hide your feelings and be ashamed of them. Everything is fixable. This will be his first step in getting rid of his obsessive feelings.
  • Try to understand the real reason for your husband’s jealousy. This can be done when you are alone. Take him out into a frank conversation. Explain to each other. Let each of you to express their grievances and complaints. These actions will help you better understand the problematic parts of your life.

In subsequent conversations, try to instill confidence in your spouse. Explain to him that your choice was not accidental. Only he is worthy to be near you and no one else. This behavior will raise your husband’s self-esteem.

  • Get involved in a joint venture. For example, start saving money for a cottage or a new car. New hobbies sideline feelings of jealousy.
  • Be positive and pretend that you are happy, no matter what. This behavior will get your spouse’s attention and he or she will take your example. The more positive you are, the sooner you will get closer.
  • Try to rid your spouse of obsessive thoughts. Load him up with work, for example, start repairs in the apartment. You yourself also take an active part. So you can distract your spouse from bad thoughts, and working together will contribute to your rapprochement.
  • Constantly reassure your spouse that the past is in the past. Old hurts and disappointments should be forgotten.
  • Create a cozy and comfortable. If you have children, then spend more free time with them and with your spouse. Gather around the same table with your children and your spouse, and talk about all the positive aspects of your family.
  • Praise your husband for his loyalty and conscientiousness. Thanks to his efforts, you are not in need and live without much financial problems. This will raise his self-esteem, and he will be less picky with you.

Do not be afraid to expose the negative aspects of your life. You need to look the problems straight in the eye. As soon as you start looking for and correcting mistakes, you will feel that life is changing for the better. You can always break up, but you will regret the lost relationship for life. So you need to strive for understanding and dialogue.

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