If the husband is tired at work and there is no sex for a long time, what to do?
And I think you have to wonder if it’s an excuse. No matter how hard it is at work, nature takes its course. If you don’t feel like it at 10 p.m., maybe at 7 a.m. or on the weekend. I know many examples when behind such “fatigue” hides a mistress. And people are like that – you would never think. Yes, I myself was, unfortunately, a participant in such a situation. Do not let it slide, you can always find a way to shake up the feelings, to pay attention to themselves. Fantasize, read. Believe me, you can achieve that at work will be with excited chl…m sit (pardon the expression, but I am so once told my husband) in anticipation of coming home )))
You know, I wanted to advise you, find yourself a lover, but no, that I will not advise you, because treason, betrayal, this is the worst thing that can be in a relationship.
If you love your husband, if you trust him, then I would advise one thing – to talk to your loved one, yes, it is a conversation that can help you in this life situation.
Your husband can be easily understood, he wants you not to need money, he wants to always have money in the house.
After all, if he will not work, who will feed the family?
I know many cases, not from my own life of course, when girls dared to make a big step in their life, and sought pleasure on the other side, then such families fell apart after a certain time, even if the husband did not find out about the lie, about the betrayal, but the wife just fell in love with another.
I know how it is when the man you love is all at work, when he comes home late at night, or at all, at night, and he does not have the strength to give time to his beloved wife. I went through it myself, and you know, if you love, you will never dare to do the worst thing in your life, you will never give, change, even keep silent about tenderness and affection.
So in your case, you don’t need to do anything, just talk to your husband, let him come home early sometimes and take care of his beloved wife, because without affection we become angry. Try to talk to him, because there is always a solution, if you do not hide that you want intimacy, tenderness and affection. You will see, the conversation will bring you closer, and even better, when your beloved comes home, wear beautiful, smart lingerie and seduce your beloved husband, I think he can not resist such beauty.
I wish you all the best in life, and most importantly, love, good luck and great happiness.
Love each other and be happy.
It seems to me that if any reliable alternative appears on the horizon, you should ask your husband to change his job. This offer will immediately put out all suspicions, and it can also improve the intimate life.
Tired at work – it’s natural. But to be tired to such an extent that nothing but work, do not allow yourself – this is unnatural. After all, you shouldn’t joke about it. The nervous system can be undermined in both spouses so noticeable that it is difficult to imagine. There will be a real hatred of life. Chronic fatigue has never been good for anyone. You need to change something urgently.
In a full family life, these kinds of issues (something to change) need to be addressed by both partners. – 7 years ago
Yes! And don’t forget that everyone lives only for themselves (not subject to reasoning, because it’s true) – 7 years ago
The main thing is not to cheat, and in general, most likely, he has a weekend, it would be good to approach him with this question in the morning of the day off, when he has a good sleep, and even better to change the environment – we once went to the sauna to “hide” from the children, in a one-room apartment you know “not ace”, can only at night, and at night though you can, but no one needs anymore:)
How to be? If your husband is tired at work, you need to make sure that at home after work he has a rest. And not just rest, and was able to fully restore the energy expended. This is a good and excellent food (the food should not just be healthy, but it should be something that he would like to try), a short nap after work at home, after taking a shower, take a nap for an hour and a half, and the care of her husband, attention to him so that he clearly felt it. But do not tell him about sex, do not remind him of the long absence of sex, do not hint, for example, that it was a marital duty and something to do and solve, do not advise her husband to go to a sex therapist, a psychologist to check his health. All of these points will only work if the husband himself will think about it and decide, and not someone will tell him about it. And hearing such advice or talk from the wife herself, her husband may react in such a way that you won’t see sex from him at all anymore.
Do not say a word to your husband; make sure that there is always delicious food and preferably with the possibility of choice – variety. Show extra care for her husband, but not feigned, and that from the heart, not burden your husband with anything at home when he comes home after work tired, from your attention and actions husband should feel complete freedom in the house. If possible, make the atmosphere of the family and the house notes of fun and joy (you can make merry little things, and fun in one word).
And then, after a few days, maybe a week, maybe even two, and you will notice in your husband renewed strength and a spark of desire to be alone with you. Maybe not even right after work, but in the middle of the night or just in the morning, which certainly has its own charm and romance.
How to properly pity your favorite man, if he is tired of everything
Your man, just like you, needs support, attention and care. Who, but a loved one, is able to give confidence in their own abilities, to devalue all the failures and defeats, set up for success. At work and in society among men it is not accepted to show weakness. And only at home, next to you, he can be tired and allow himself not to hide his emotions.
Do not forget that it is important to pity the man you love properly. A different strategy can lead to unpredictable consequences – a decrease in masculinity, the development of the mother-son system, the formation of all kinds of complexes and other adverse effects.
How to understand that the man is experiencing difficulties
In an effort to remain in your eyes strong and resilient, the man may be silent about the troubles that occurred, to hide from you internal worries. Unable to splash out emotions, the man accumulates them in himself. Over time, comes the realization that fatigue is not due to specific reasons, and has become chronic, constant.
Emotional tension is somehow reflected in the daily activities, the nature of communication with others. If you notice changes in his behavior, it means that the very peak that provokes a breakdown is not far off – it’s time to take certain measures.
What criteria can be used to judge male fatigue:
- Excessive irritability;
- Apathy, the prevalence of a sad mood;
- refusal of the usual ways of spending leisure time;
- thoughtfulness, absent-mindedness;
- desire to spend time alone.
Your task is to accurately and tactfully find out the causes of fatigue, pick up the right words of support. The most important thing – do not provoke, intentionally or unconsciously, even more aggression, behave identically and “sew” personal insults to the case (for example, revenge for the fact that once the man himself did not pay attention to your tiredness and did not behave the way you would like and expect from him).
Top 3 mistakes you can make
It’s easier to make things worse than you think. And it’s even possible in cases where you want to do what’s best.
- Don’t copy the depressed state.
Don’t get upset with it. By making a sad face, you will not support the man, but only reinforce the negative perception of what has happened. Imagine that he returns home in a decadent state, and there waiting for him not a resourceful, stimulating atmosphere, but identical to the one from which he seeks escape.
- Don’t overwhelm him with questions.
How do you support your significant other in the right way?
Do not be offended if the man does not share with you painful. Do not terrorize him with questions from the doorstep about what happened, and why he is not wearing a face. Female curiosity is a terrible thing, which can and should be kept under control. If you hear “It’s okay” in response, stop the emotional attack. Nor should you say:
- “I can see something is wrong.”
- “You seem angry.”
- “Why should I be the one who suffers because you’re just not in the mood.”
- “Don’t take it out on me.”
- “I have a right to know.”
- “Do you have secrets from me?” and so on.
Such phrases a man perceives as a direct rebuke in his direction, that he has no right to be sad, that he is obliged to make contact even when he does not want it at all.
Do not think, and even more, do not show confidence that you know his life and affairs better than the man himself. After reading “useful” articles on social networks or books about success, you will not become an expert in a specific area of knowledge. A woman who appears to the man as a mentor, teacher, irritates and hurts his ego.
Your advice objectively may be effective, but this strategy is sure to aggravate your relationship. Acting in a different role, you change his perception of you. A woman should remain a woman in the eyes of the man, and not turn into a mommy or a coach. Believe me, sincere words of support will be much more useful than the most valuable admonitions.
How to behave properly
Any man wants to see a calm, emotionally stable and mature woman who does not need to explain why she is annoying or what is missing in the relationship with her.
If you will be calm even in moments of crisis, the man will take it as an extra proof of your confidence in him and in the fact that he is sure to cope with everything. Do not panic, but just believe in him. And talk about it. Not every hour, but at appropriate intervals.
- Don’t judge or criticize, just listen.
The moment when the man decides to share with you, the sore point will come. Do not try to approach him or somehow provoke him. Give him time to be alone with himself, to formulate his thoughts correctly and make an unconditional decision to tell you.
When the man decides to confess, put aside your business and just listen to him without interrupting or elaborating. Don’t pretend you don’t care. Standing up from the table with the phrase “I see,” or at the end of his monologue to give out “And I have today…” – is a clear sign of disrespect for the problem. In addition to words of support, it is useful to ask if you can help him in any way.
- Try to distract him.
Think about what brings him pleasure in life. It could be a hobby, a ritual (like watching a soccer game with a pack of chips in his hand) or even a dream (about a new game console). Try to lift his spirits and create a comfortable and relaxing environment that will help him forget about the problem, at least for a while:
- cook his favorite meal;
- Make a romantic surprise;
- invite his friends to visit;
- make a pleasant and useful surprise (a new T-shirt for sports, spinning for fishing, car vacuum cleaner, etc.)
- arrange a general cleaning, create comfort in the house.
If you see that the initiative did not help to achieve the desired result, do not focus on this and do not try to make the man to get pleasure or immediately express gratitude. In this case it does not mean that he devalues your efforts. Don’t blame him for not being in the right mood for fun.
- Let him choose the type of recreation he wants.
Each person has his own way of emotional release. Some aimlessly spend time on the couch, reading the newspaper. Others prefer to spend their leisure time in the company of friends. Do not insist on household chores or showing attention to yourself. Let your man choose how to spend his free time.
It’s important to be tactful and considerate even when things are going well. If you are not interested in his affairs and mood, without a word from the doorstep talking about his girlfriends or a new manicure, constantly making claims, do not expect that he will be pleased to share his problems with you.