If a man is wrong: how to dot the “i” and not to quarrel?
Not only women make mistakes in relationships, creating problems on an empty place. Men also take a wrong turn, and then look for dozens of excuses not to admit his guilt. How do you talk to a partner who’s messed up, but won’t admit he’s wrong? Is it possible to get him to apologize and accept responsibility without turning clarification of the relationship into a meaningless quarrel?
The second is to come to terms with the fact that you are different.
There is a perception that only strong individuals are capable of admitting guilt. In fact, most men, no matter how good, brave or smart they may be, it is hard to accept that they may not be right. While women are afraid to hear the opposite sex criticize their appearance, men can’t stand disapproval of their actions. This hurts their self-esteem, which is based on achievements and recognition. Criticizing her partner, giving him unsolicited advice, meddling with his help (even with the best intentions), a woman provokes aggression, because subconsciously puts the mind and experience of the chosen one below his merits. It’s like she’s saying, “I know better, I’m better off than you. But guys don’t dig female competition.
It is difficult to argue with the fact that any woman is more or less characterized by unpredictability: often women can do or say things that men could not expect from them. And this is a great way to influence. If a woman wants something from a man, she can surprise him, whether pleasant or not: it can be a thing he has long wanted, or, on the contrary, a sudden clarification of the relationship, even if everything was going well and the man did not expect it. Or rather, especially if he didn’t expect it.
Men, on the other hand, for the most part seek stability – unexpected actions knock them out. If he receives a gift, he seeks to repay the same, so he does not feel obligated, and in a quarrel he tries to end the conflict as quickly as possible at any cost.
Why is it so hard for them to be wrong?
Because they are aimed at the result, a mistake means defeat, and they need to win. Women have it easier, the process is more important to them than the result. In a sense they like to work on themselves all the time, to learn, improve, improve something. Ladies love various trainings and courses on self-development, not finding anything humiliating in admitting their weaknesses. Her shortcomings are just an incentive to be better. For him to admit his weaknesses is to question his own masculinity, to question himself as a man. Don’t try to make sense of it, just accept it as fact.
How to get an apology from a man
Why don’t men like to apologize?
Men often do not like to admit their mistakes. They persist for a long time, saying that they are not guilty of anything. And even if it was they who committed the mistake, they are in no hurry to apologize. They are hampered by male pride, which sometimes turns into chauvinism in relation to the woman he loves. A man feels superior and does not consider it necessary to ask for forgiveness from someone who, in his opinion, beneath him in status. Very often such representatives of the stronger sex are also intolerant of subordinates or colleagues. Obtain from such a man apology is difficult enough. However, leaving serious transgressions unpunished is also impossible. If a man is offended, do not shut up and keep silent. Very often the representatives of the stronger sex simply do not understand that they did hurt. And the silence of your loved one is perceived as another whim. State claims at once, do not accumulate resentment
How to make a man to apologize
With loving, caring guys is simple. To make him apologize, it is enough to make a sad look, or even better to cry. To comfort the girl he loves, a guy will do anything. And ask forgiveness for an unseemly act, and give flowers, and in the arms will be worn. But with a man in whom the spirit of chauvinism is strong, simple tears will not help. They only further annoy him and assure you that he is actually stronger in spirit and body. Therefore, in a relationship with a man like this need to act differently. From some men to get an apology is almost impossible. It is easier for them to break off a relationship with a girl than to admit their mistakes.
In order for a man to apologize, you need to calmly express everything that you think about his behavior, describing your own emotions. If the man is sure he is right, prove what he was wrong about. It is better if it will be a clear example. So he can see for himself what he really did wrong. Then give him time to think about it. If you demand an apology right away, he will resist. But if you wait a while until he thinks about what he said, it is likely that he will understand his mistake.
But even afterwards, when he himself is convinced of his wrongdoing, you should not expect instant remorse. First the man will try to make someone else guilty. He will say that he was interfered with, misdirected, etc. And he turned out to be a victim of circumstances, so he made a mistake. It is very difficult to convince him otherwise, but it is possible. The same male chauvinism will help. You need to convey to your partner that he, so overbearing and perfect, could not have been led astray by those around him. This statement will help a man to come to terms with his own wrongdoing, and recognize that even he sometimes makes mistakes. And after that he will ask for forgiveness. Although tears of remorse expect from a representative of the stronger half of mankind, of course, is not worth it.
How to get out of the conflict, if a man is wrong?
Master the formula of “I-messages. There is no need to be silent, to be offended, to tolerate unfair treatment for fear of hurting your partner. Learn how to present information correctly. To do this you have to stop rushing insults, silly, he knows nothing, does everything to spite you, can not admit obvious fault. Do not exaggerate and do not twist the facts. Better let the man know how you feel in a neutral way: “I am upset (angry, hurt, frightened) by your behavior.” At this point, list objective facts: “you do not wash the dishes,” “you sit for 8 hours playing video games,” “you compliment other women. Then state your wish: “I wish you would pay more attention to your children (find another job, say gentle words more often, drink only on holidays). For this we can do this or that. The main thing is not to hang labels on the man, but talk only about your feelings.
What to do if you can not hear?
Tatiana, good evening!
Your experiences are very understandable, but have you ever wondered why he said that? With what may be associated with a statement? Do you often quarrel and who do you think is the instigator?
You say that your boyfriend doesn’t apologize. Maybe he does not want this and his silence is only a pretext for maybe breaking up? After all, I hope your desire to break up if he does not apologize is not based on apology alone! You know very well that breaking up is a last resort and if you decide to do it, there will be no coming back! “The road has only two ends, a beginning and an end!”
The decision is yours alone! Try to think again for yourself personally, and maybe your decision is the only right one for you! And the person next to you is not your person?! And while you are with him, your man is passing by!
Happiness to you, mutual love and the fulfillment of all desires!
Thoughts are material, think about good things and everything will happen!
“My husband is an excellent father and provider, he satisfies all my whims. But at the same time allows himself the liberties – can easily be rude, insulting, an insulting word. It is impossible to quarrel with him, he cannot admit his guilt, and I always remain extreme. I have to keep it all inside, which makes me sick often.
In this situation, the woman needs to work with his self-esteem: why does she allow her spouse to say mean things to her? She moved by fear of being alone without financial support, or she copies the behavior of her own mother? You need to get out of the position of the victim, to restore his dignity, to find a point of reference, become financially independent. Stop fitting in and tolerating, no one has the right to humiliate your value. Switch from the man to yourself, start investing in your own interests and needs.
My husband hurt me and is not going to ask for forgiveness.
We live in a civil partnership for 1 year.2 Since then we sleep separately.Relationships are strained.We talk only if necessary.I kept waiting for him to apologize, but I realized that he is not going to do it.Although he sees that I am worried. I often cry from despair, I do not see the continuation of our relationship.Sleep in different rooms and talk to each other through the teeth.I want to ask him to leave, we live in my apartment.If he does not apologize and make the first step to reconciliation.All exhausted for these 2 weeks.Depression.Even at home do not want to do anything.How to make him apologize?
You should talk to him about it. It’s your right. Do it!
Start the conversation with the reason for your offense. Tell him that you were offended by it and have been waiting all this time for his apology. Ask him: Why hasn’t he apologized? Does he know how to apologize? Did his parents teach him to apologize? Ask him how you can help him learn to apologize for his words. Tell him you want to help him learn how to apologize!
If he is honest about everything. And asks him to forgive and asks him to learn how to apologize, then feel free to forgive and live happily ever after!
And if he won’t apologize and won’t support your communication, then offer him to live separately for the duration of the conflict. Suggest that he move out of your apartment.
But do not force him to apologize! It is worth offering to do it! And discuss the reasons why he did not do it earlier!
Good luck and happiness to you!
“I have tried all the advice, but my husband continues to ignore my feelings and acts against me in everything (not taking care of himself, sitting out of work, talking to his ex). I don’t want to be a saw-woman, but how do I respond to this?”
Accepting him for who he is is stupid. In this case, you need to look into the reasons for the rebellious behavior. Maybe you overprotective partner, control his every move, replace his “mommy”? And he is forced to resist your care in childish ways. Change your behavior – and the man will also change.
This thought is his own.
Imagine that you want to go with your man to the sea, and he denies a trip, saying that he has a lot of work / not enough money / he would like to spend a vacation at the computer, and so on – there can be many excuses. How to do?
Many women use the tactic of suggestion in this case: a few months before the trip you can casually mention that it would be nice to vacation at sea – it’s just a mention, nothing more. Then the woman mentions a little later, and then another time. In the end, the man himself starts dreaming about this trip and buys tickets.
If you want to get something as a gift, unobtrusively mention it on appropriate occasions, but do not put pressure on the man – this will not work. Let him believe that he thought of his own way to make you feel good – in the end this will benefit you both.
Cultivate remorse in your daughter.
Quarrel with his daughter or son, parents want the child to be the first to go to reconcile, especially if the conflict occurred through his fault. If the child does not dare to take this step, you can use magic, which can prompt the right action.
Use a church incense which is set on fire and blessed all corners of the house, thus ridding it of evil forces. By incensing the apartment read:
The strong conspiracy will work within a week. During this time, in the understanding of the child will come that he is guilty before the parents and is obliged to apologize. The conspiracy to ask forgiveness from daughter or son should be carried out only by the offended person. If both parents are offended at once, the ritual is performed 2 times with each of them in turn.
If both parties are guilty, it is better to perform a reconciliation ritual to restore family relations.
Often a woman lets the man she likes feel her affection: she smiles, speaks affectionately to him and uses other techniques to create emotional, and possibly physical closeness.
After a while, she suddenly drifts away, becoming colder: she may not answer the phone, refuse to date, arguing her behavior by saying that she is very busy. The man wonders what happened, because everything was going so well?
Due to the emotional contrast of the man becomes more strongly tied to the woman: if a man was with a woman well, and then she left him, he will go to any lengths to return her favor.
How to get rid of guilt over a woman / video /.
MALE GUILT COMPLEX. How to get rid of guilt Feelings of guilt. How to get rid of guilt Women’s manipulation of guilt Marital infidelity and guilt. Ruslan Narushevich The relationship between a man and a woman. Fears and guilt Conclusion: If a man’s guilt is not beyond normal perception, it shows his conscience and responsibility. In all other cases, this feeling has a devastating effect on a man’s life, contributing to neurosis, depression, loss of taste in life and lack of initiative. Pathological guilt – a heavy burden that does not give a peaceful life. Therefore, it is necessary to get rid of it as soon as possible.
The main ways and rules
The desire to apologize to girls is uncharacteristic, because most of them believe that men are responsible for all quarrels and misunderstandings. An objective view proves that women should also be responsible for the conflict that broke out.
Hence, it follows that the one who holds the relationship dear must apologize. It’s up to both of them to apologize, which is usually what happens when the girl comes first. The guy in any case feels that he is at fault, because he is in charge of the relationship, and therefore should have shown more equanimity. That’s why when the girl comes to make up and asks for forgiveness, the young man must feel responsible.
A girl should not apologize when she has no sense of guilt. The trapped inside feeling of injustice is bound to break out over time, and the relationship will end.
WHAT TO DO WHEN A GIRL IS AGREED: The Key to Understanding Women’s Souls.
If a man has offended and does not apologize – all the nuances
My boyfriend doesn’t know how to apologize. What to do if a man doesn’t say sorry?
Male and female psychology is actually very different, so if you want to understand the whole essence of male logic, you will need to get certain facts and statistics. Only by analyzing the male propensities, principles and skills, you will be able to find an answer to the question of interest. For example, you probably noticed that men do not know how to apologize. Even if they do, they do it with great difficulty, while for a woman it is enough just to say the word “sorry” without any remorse.
We are constantly offended or offended by someone in our lives, but very few people are willing to apologize. It is much more difficult with men, because it is quite difficult to show their weakness, as they think. In fact the ability to apologize on the contrary is a strong point, because not everyone is able to do that. Here are the main reasons for men’s inability to say a simple word “sorry”.
In fact, the inability to apologize from childhood
Sometimes we do not even think about how much of a personality is formed in childhood. You can try to think differently, change your faith or change your appearance, but the subconscious can not be deceived. That’s the answer to the eternal question: why don’t men apologize? Girls are raised by their parents to be feminine, romantic, sensitive and aesthetically pleasing. Men from an early age are taught that he must be strong, to restrain impulses of emotions, to try to show maximum courage and self-confidence. In that situation, when he has to apologize, a man feels that he can be perceived as weak and unsure of himself.
The word “sorry” tends to make men think he’s not responsible for his actions, thinking first and doing later. That’s why he tries to avoid using this word as much as possible, often looking for a substitute. If a man apologizes, it means he admits his mistake publicly, which gives a strong blow to his self-esteem. Since childhood, his beloved mother and father instilled in him the idea that he is strong, self-sufficient, that he should not make mistakes, so he memorized these rules for life. If in childhood a child or teenager tries to avoid this topic, constantly contradicting his parents, the basic rules and principles are still laid in his subconscious.
It’s just that we are built differently, that’s why a man can’t apologize
Women should recognize the fact that they differ from their beloved guy not only physiology, but also the type of thinking. Women tend to empathize and sympathize and, accordingly, asking for forgiveness is also much easier for them.
When a woman says the words like “I love you” and “sorry”, she does it sincerely, easily and naturally, a man needs to adjust himself, try to calm down and squeeze out these simple little words. That is why you should not be offended by the stronger sex, that they are not often enough to tell you the words that you want to hear from them so much. Men think that words are meaningless noises that only help to connect with other members of society. Women have been known to pay too much attention to the sounds and letters that come out of men’s mouths.
What to do if a man doesn’t apologize?
Here a woman should exercise maximum wisdom, because the man can not remake, you can only slightly correct his habits. If you are constantly rebuking him for what he gives you not enough attention, you are sure to provoke a quarrel or even the collapse of the couple. It is important to learn to understand that every man is stepping over himself in order to just say a word or two to you. He feels very uncomfortable with this, and sooner or later can snap out of it. It is better to be guided by his actions, because there are members of the stronger sex, who talk a lot of pretty words, but in fact do not prove their feelings. If your boyfriend does not know how to apologize, but you see how he suffers in conscience, it is better to leave it as it is.
If you constantly rebuke him and make him say the same word, from which, in fact, nothing changes, he may just leave. You should not make a man feel uncomfortable. If you’re not sure whether he really repented for the act, talk to him about it in a romantic setting with a glass of delicious wine.
He will tell you about his position, and you will not torment yourself with speculation and doubt. After all, if in fact your favorite guy shows love and attention, then maybe sometimes you should forgive his inability to say the word “sorry”? A woman should be more tolerant to the loved one, because she is the one who knows how to understand and sympathize, so the tendency to clarify relationships and hold your position is left for work.
– We recommend to visit our section with interesting materials on similar subjects “Psychology of relationships
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