If a man doubts the relationship: we deal in detail

Why doubts in a relationship are a must

Forcing the stages of one of the parties of the couple contributes to very serious problems. If the man did not pass the stage of doubt, or the woman did not allow him to doubt and convince him of the need to be together, then trouble will come in the form of a complicated relationship. A woman will agonize next to a man who gets up every day thinking about the mistake he made. Such doubts come to her, and time is passing, it is necessary to have children, to arrange life. And how to do this if she is not confident in a man?

The phase of doubt is inevitable and extremely useful. In any case, do not prevent us men to go through a phase of doubt on their own, firmly and alone. Please do not interfere in it, otherwise you will ruin everything, because during this period a man is able to feel the freedom of choice in his decisions. The Vedas say that no promise (and marriage is a promise) will have any effect if it is not kept. Now marriage is not considered a promise, but a consent. But, imagine, for marriage, consent is nothing. What does it mean to consent? Are you accepting responsibility or not? Are you promising something or not? So for a man to take a woman as his wife is to give his word to those around him, to give his word to God, to her relatives, and to keep it if you want to go on living peacefully. In the Vedas it says that not one of your promises will have any effect, even if you go to three churches, if you acted under duress or by circumstances: financial, moral… It’s more likely to be psychological, emotional circumstances, because you are tired of living with your mother, you’re tired of sleeping on a folding chair. Can you imagine the reason for marriage: tired of sleeping in a passable room on a folding chair, I want to get married. Another reason is loneliness: no girlfriends, no interests, no like-minded people, my mother is at work all the time, so I got married. She got married, she just got bored: well, we’ll watch TV together, we’ll go somewhere. Thus, people start building marriages on the basis of such crazy ideas, which actually appear under the pressure of external factors. But any pressure other than happy, goodwill makes a marriage invalid.

The Vedas say that God will not accept your vows if you do not make them in good faith. He knows that such a vow is insincere; you have been forced into it. There are so many options: pregnancy term, financial problems, loneliness, past disappointments, revenge on another man. Everyone knows from experience a lot of crazy reasons for living together. Therefore, it is very important for the woman herself to build a relationship, realizing her good, free will to be with this man from happiness, not from loneliness or because of some other factors. The woman herself must be free in her choice. “I love without a mind”-remember that was the reason for unhealthy attachment? Figure it out with your mind first, love someone with your mind, and then we’ll see. If you love without intelligence, you put pressure on the man. He’ll immediately relax and feel that it wasn’t basically his decision, and one day he’ll remember, “Look, I was just forced, I gave in like a boy.”

Sometimes women force themselves sexually. An example from Dr. Torsunov’s lecture “Harmony in the Lower Psychic Center”. A woman, who has already had a lot of contacts and a little bit of sex, decides to stabilize her life. She finds a man, sometimes younger than she is, since she is sophisticated in all sorts of amorous, sexual affairs, and mesmerizes him. She just sets him up with late-night television, and he lives in it and thinks, “That’s how great, how lucky I am.” And then she talks about marriage, squeezing consent out of him. Only in time will he understand her motive, far from love. She, though very pleasant, presses her charms on him. He reasoned, “It was not my will. I was young, quite foolish, and she is an imposing girl, beautiful legs, slender. So I got married without my will, without my will. Well, I was sort of forced.” Of course, we can not say that he was forced, but still the factor of freedom of choice is very important. If the woman herself freely and easily communicate with men, not frivolously, but unattached, she will respect her freedom of choice, respecting the freedom of choice of the man. Then this phase can be passed quietly, and the man will be very happy. You should not allow a woman’s neurosis to hinder the process of doubt. That is, the neurosis is: “What is it? And why does he doubt? Is there something wrong with me? Maybe he has another one?” These are questions that you can’t ask yourself. You can’t hinder the process of doubt.

What to do if a man doubts the relationship

A relationship between a man and a woman is always a mutual choice. Doubts and uncertainties that arise in one of the partners discourage the other. Women are usually more open and decisive, they need certainty and stability. What can not be said about the representatives of the stronger sex. If a man doubts the relationship, it is a good idea to help your lover to overcome the uncertainty.

Why a man doubts in a relationship

Doubt is a quality that is inherent in every person. We can not make a decision, weighing all the pros and cons. This is a quite natural state. It is believed that men are faster to make decisions. Perhaps, but not in situations that involve relationships with women. Here the representatives of the stronger half of humanity are inferior.

Psychologists call the reasons for such indecision:

  • A natural character trait. A man by definition takes a long time to make a decision.
  • Not sure that the girl corresponds to his ideal. Drawing in his imagination a certain image, he is looking for key qualities in everyone.
  • No confidence in his own abilities. The girl makes exaggerated demands – and the guy doubts that he meets them.
  • Fear of losing his independence. This is peculiar to many young men who believe that independence is important for men. And that is why they are afraid to bind themselves with the bonds of a relationship.
  • Does not see the prospects. Like the girl, but the guy does not understand what awaits him further in this relationship, and how to build them.
  • There wasn’t enough time to figure out his feelings. The lady is rushing things.

Perhaps he is not ready to make a decision: he recently experienced a breakup or divorce, did not fall in love for real, in childhood did not receive from parents the right model of relationship with the opposite sex. The reasons are many, they are all individual.

The behavior of a man who doubts the relationship

If a man doubts the relationship, it inevitably imposes an imprint on his behavior. Understand the uncertainty can be on the actions of the gentleman:

  • he does not show initiative;
  • does not answer calls and texts, or does not do so immediately;
  • is afraid to take commitments and responsibilities;
  • pays little attention to his lady of the heart;
  • Avoids appearing with his beloved in public places;
  • Does not introduce her to friends and relatives.

All this means that the man has no serious intentions. The guy is ready to spend time with you. It is quite possible that he is comfortable and happy. But so far he has not decided whether he needs the relationship, whether he is ready to continue it for a long time. A woman always feels and understands such uncertainty.

How to overcome doubts in the relationship

In such a situation, a girl needs to make a decision for herself: do we need this relationship. e, does it make sense to fight for a guy who shows indecision, doubts. If there is confidence that this is a man for whom you are willing to do a lot, you should try to overcome the doubts, to become for him the only and unique. A wise woman is able to influence a man and “put him on the right track.

  1. Communicate. Trusting, intimate conversations about life, views on the family, hobbies will help understand each other, especially at the beginning of the relationship.
  2. Be interesting. Your boyfriend should not be bored with you. Positive, humor, fantasy to help.
  3. Take care of your appearance. It is important for men to have a beautiful, charming woman who is not ashamed to present to their friends. You may even have to change your hair style, clothing style, to be more attractive to your chosen one.
  4. Let him feel like a real man. Celebrate the positive aspects, do not ignore the courtship, ask for help or support.
  5. Try to become his friend. Men need support no less than women. If a young man will feel sincere attitude, desire to help and support, it is able to build mutual understanding and strengthen feelings.
  6. Surround them with care, attention and affection. Men, despite their emotional stinginess, are susceptible to displays of female tenderness. And dream of a caring wife who will be a good mother for children; a comfortable home. So demonstrate these qualities.

Give him the opportunity to understand that there is the best of women, that he is much more comfortable with you. Try to become a part of his life.

The most important thing in the relationship – sincerity. Do not pretend and play, hoping to get his: then all by itself it will add up. If you really love a man, you want him to be near, have genuine feelings for him, only in this case is to fight for his love.

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