How do women understand a man who never talks about his feelings?
Probably the question is more to men. Although, surely, wise women will know the answer. I’m dating a man. Well, how do I date a man? He’s far away. Mostly phone calls. Sometimes I go to his place. Sometimes he visits me. We’ve been like this for about three years now. He doesn’t say anything about his feelings, but he’s gentle and affectionate towards me. Sometimes with a hint he may say something. Well, such as “you will cook me borschiki. How to understand him? Whether it is necessary to continue the relations?
I will answer your question as a man who belongs to this type, ie do not krtchu at every corner of his feelings, even if they are. I have always believed that a man should be held accountable for his words. The whole trick is that if the end is not sure about his feelings or I can not understand myself then never say that here I am crazy about you or even more I love you. How can I say this if I am not sure. And you really need to prove it with your deeds, and words are nothing. I often see individuals like this, who know a girl for two years and are already shouting about how much they are in love. What do you mean? You’ve got your hormones going right now, but what happens in a few months? It’ll be nothing.
How can you give a man false hope? So just because he’s not telling you something doesn’t mean there isn’t something.
In my opinion, three years is a pretty long time, and it’s time for a man to decide if this woman is going to cook him borscht. I knew such men who seem to have feelings for a woman for a long time, but still want to check them, and then when a woman, tired of waiting for a proposal, accepts the courtship of another man, and gives out the gate, then immediately the man “speeds up.
Probably here, too, need to somehow push a man to make a decision, but so hints you can cook his whole life borscht.
The man may love, and this is most likely you, but here he is by nature not decisive, fearful. And if the proverb says measure seven times, then such will measure seventy-seven times, and cut off and will not dare. So he’ll miss his love.
So maybe you should take the initiative into their hands and provoke a conversation about the future relationship. Maybe you should directly ask him how he feels about you and what he thinks to do next.
Judging by the behavior of the man does not start a conversation about his feelings. In this case, the woman may have a reasonable question when our relationship will grow into a strong family union. This variant does not suit the man, and he is not going to get married.
At one time it was enough for me to stop meeting with a girl when she had the words “we” “us” “together” in her conversation.
It’s hard to give advice right away when you don’t know the whole situation. It sounds like a guest marriage. I think if the man has been with you for three years, it means there are feelings, but how deep are they? If men are mature enough, it’s typical for them not to talk about feelings, they usually prove it with their actions (which I think is more valuable). I think you should keep the relationship going, maybe go on a more aggressive offensive. Suggest you come to him for two months (or him to you), talk about living together, about the possibility for you to go to him or vice versa. In general, relationships don’t like lies, if you’re not happy with something or have questions/suggestions, talk, solve all the issues, and don’t wait for things to snowball. Good luck and love!
Three years of calls and meetings and not a word about feelings can really mean that something seems to have stalled in the relationship, like something is stalled and standing in one place. This is what happens, for example, with scrambled eggs or fried potatoes that will become dry after being on low heat for too long.
But you understand that the absence of words of adoration does not indicate a lack of love. Just like a million “I love you” (and the same number of scarlet roses) does not guarantee that someone loved someone.
So judge by phrases as well, but also by actions. If some more time passes, and there are no hints of actions, but the relationship can be considered protracted. They should be terminated if they are not satisfactory.
The views on family life of men and women are very different.Especially if there is already a burden of family relationships. Most men prefer not to throw around words about love and commitment. This just shows a more responsible attitude towards family ties. It is easier for the frivolous to give out compliments and words of love, only in this case, do not keep in mind a further family relationship.Not without reason there is a saying: a woman loves with her ears, but a man with his eyes.For women, important words of recognition, it determines its status in their own eyes.
Most women want stability and believe that marriage will provide them with this stability. Men in these matters are very cautious, and sometimes even cowardly.They want peace and comfort without unnecessary stress and clarification of relations.Any clarification of the status of future relationships can be perceived by men as a “kick to speed up. Keep this in mind. No one can know your man better than you.Sometimes a sustained pause is worth a lot.
Why doesn’t a man talk about his feelings – what is he hiding?
By education I am a school psychologist. I have more than 7 years of experience in copywriting. For me copywriting is an art.
Expert – Margarita Lopukhova
Family psychologist. For 8 years I have been saving “family units” from disintegration. I help couples regain love and understanding.
Not all men like to express their feelings verbally. For them, unlike women are much more important actions, not words. The main reason why men do not talk about their feelings is that since early childhood, boys are taught not to be sentimental and tender. In the traditional sense, a man is supposed to be strong and not show his vulnerability, as a result he does not show feelings at all.
The reasons why men do not talk about their feelings
There are several reasons why men are silent and hide their feelings.
- According to psychologist Arina Lipkina, too strong emotions cause a surge of adrenaline in the male body. Therefore, men at the level of instincts reduce emotional arousal and walk away from it. This is because the increase in adrenaline in the blood increases blood pressure, heart rate and blood sugar levels. Such a phenomenon has a life-threatening effect.
An experiment was conducted in which guys and girls were turned on a recording of a baby crying. The men turned the tape off before the girls did. The analysis showed that the reason for this was not a low emotional threshold, but that the men’s adrenaline levels increased. Women, on the other hand, are more adapted to emotional stress.
- Male initiation.
There always comes a point in a boy’s life when his parents, friends or others tell him “don’t do that, you’re a man.” At some point, boys are forbidden to cry, show tenderness, and are taught to control their emotions. Some children are taught this at the age of 5, when the child is not yet capable of understanding why this is necessary. But, nevertheless, the parents’ efforts to make a man out of a boy are justified, and the child carries what he has learned into adulthood.
- A man cannot do this verbally.
Some not only men but adult women cannot verbally show their feelings because they have not been taught to do so. How can a man know how to say, “I love you” and other similar words if he has never been told them and has not had an example from his childhood?
- A man doesn’t believe his words.
He may have been deceived once before when he said, “I love you,” not sincerely. Now he tends to show his feelings with actions. Or he just thinks why repeat the same thing over and over again, if he has already said it once to his beloved.
- Not trusting enough.
A guy may well have no qualms about expressing his feelings to the other more intimate and trusted people in his life. And his behavior and excessive secrecy is due to the fact that he does not trust his partner and wants to be sure of his and her feelings. There is nothing that can be done here, except to wait until the man is sure that the girl can and should be trusted. But it is important not to let him down at these moments and not to lie about trifles.
Perhaps everything is much simpler and the man simply does not love his partner. Yes, he likes her, but he does not plan to go hand in hand with her in life and does not see the point in insincere confessions.
What a woman should do.
- Ask him why he does not say the words of love and do not share his experiences, because this is the only way to find out the real truth.
- Be patient.
Manifestation of feelings is natural for girls, for men it is unusual to talk about their feelings and they have to learn all this from scratch. In order to make progress and a man began to express his love, you have to wait, each of them needs time to begin to trust their partner enough to express their love not only through actions but also through words.
If a girl wants to teach her man to trust her and not be ashamed of his feelings, then, first of all, she needs to be prepared for the fact that he is a living person who may have difficulties. So if she wants to get more emotions from him, she should understand that it will be not only an expression of love and care, but also depression, fear, despair and other emotions that anyone is capable of experiencing in difficult moments of life.
- Thank the man for his efforts.
For a person who has never strongly expressed his feelings, it is already a great success to show his worries about some events. Therefore, when a young person shares his thoughts and emotions about his problems, it is never a good idea to reject him. It’s better to help with advice and praise him for trusting him.
But it is worth remembering that there is no point in guessing alone as to what the reason is for a man not showing his feelings and not speaking words of love. It is much better to personally ask your lover about everything and explain to him that in a relationship it is important to profess your love, as well as share your worries and problems.