If a man does not call what to do – learn the general features

Why he doesn’t call after the first date: what mistakes women make.

Reasons why a man doesn’t call after a first date. What to do in such cases? How to recognize a lie? What not to do if a young man does not call.

On a first date, every woman wants to be charming, intelligent and attractive in the eyes of a man. If the meeting was successful, the young man should call back and offer the girl a second date, but what to do if the phone is silent?

Women for years can’t answer the question, “Why after a successful first meeting your lover did not want to continue communicating and as if by an instant of magic wand disappeared from your life?” This article will answer these questions and help you properly build communication on the first date.

Reasons why he doesn’t call

  • Unjustified expectations. If a man is disappointed in his chosen one on the first meeting, the calls seem pointless. In correspondence it is important to always be yourself and provide information that corresponds to reality. The girl can repel with her persistence and aggressiveness, so on the first date you need to talk on neutral topics and behave with restraint.
  • The girl is too liked. Young people are afraid to show their feelings and strong emotions, so they cut off the connection. The woman needs to show wisdom and give the man some time to gather his thoughts and make a step towards rapprochement.
  • The woman proved to be too available. Men are by nature hunters who take pleasure in the process of winning the heart of the beloved. It is naive to assume that a young man will call back if the first date ended in intimacy.
  • A man has a girlfriend. Your meeting could be a fatal mistake for a guy who wants to forget sooner, especially if it took place under the degree.
  • Life problems. There are situations that require complete dedication to achieve results. A man throws all his energy into solving the problem, so thoughts about the first date go into the background. In this case, the woman needs to show tolerance and understanding.
  • A date as a way to pass the time. Dating is a good way for him to diversify his life, but he is not ready for a change. It could be a fear of taking responsibility or an unrequited love for another girl.
  • Competition. The young man has several ladies of his heart, and now it’s time to make a choice.

How do you recognize a lie?

A man doesn’t want to look like a scoundrel, so he makes up false stories and circumstances:

  • Busyness at work. Even a hardened workaholic will find 5 minutes a day to talk to the woman he likes. If a man keeps referring to the busyness at work and does not call for weeks, then he is not interested in you.
  • There was no money in the account. A young man will always find a way to contact the girl who made a good impression on him.
  • The number was not saved in the phone book. This option may be true. If the man is happy to hear you when he calls and invites you on a date, it means that the contacts were indeed lost by accident.
  • Was out of town, where there is no signal. A man warns about such things in advance, if he likes the girl.
  • There was no free time. If a man utters this phrase, it is 100% an excuse from communicating.

Of course, there are force majeure situations in life: unforeseen business trips, excessive loads at work and health problems, but most reasons are excuses, especially if you took the initiative to communicate, and the young man remained indifferent.

What to do if he does not call

Many girls are winding themselves up and inventing 100 and 1 reasons why he is silent. In this situation, you need to follow a tactic:

  • Calm your emotions. There is no need to call the young man with complaints about why he is silent. Such an arrangement will only spoil the situation. You need to calm down and not rush to conclusions.
  • Soberly analyze the date. If a woman is not flattering about the man and behaved arrogantly with him it is not worth wondering why he did not call back.
  • Decide whether to call back. Many girls are afraid to call first, although this practice is perfectly normal. You should not ask questions like “Where are you going?” and “What happened?”, it’s better to find an excuse to call. For example, the man is fond of fishing, and you choose a fishing rod for his father’s birthday. The man’s reaction to the call will answer all the questions. If, he will speak firmly and dryly, then the girl is not interested.
  • Take your mind off the situation. Cope with the excruciating waiting will help active work. Go with a friend to the cinema, sign up for yoga, and the time will fly with benefit.

What not to do if the young man does not call

  • Look for the problems in yourself. Of course, you need to analyze the situation sensibly, but do not take the blame for a bad date. Girls begin to think of themselves as ugly and stupid, but this is not the case. There are worthy men in the world who will be able to appreciate you.
  • Call back in the evening after the date. Call a man back only after 2 days from the date.
  • Writing angry messages. This will permanently ruin the relationship. You can write a letter in which to express all your resentment and pain. It does not need to be sent to the addressee. Negative emotions will find their way out on paper, and you will not spoil the impression of yourself.
  • Call from other numbers. The young person will immediately realize that the incoming call from a stranger is you. This way of checking will spoil the situation.

In any situation, you need to remain calm and reasonable, such a position will cause respect and desire to communicate with such a girl.

Mistakes of women on a first date

  • The obvious desire to be liked. Girls come on a first date in an evening dress with high heels, even if it takes place in the park. Clothing should always be appropriate.
  • Gossip Girl Behavior. Such persons willingly tell about their past relationships in all the details and share the secrets of their girlfriends. The girl should remain a mystery that one wants to get to know, and such a barrage of information will scare away a young man.
  • Arrogance and stiffness. If a woman on a first date is silent a lot, does not smile and does not listen to the interlocutor, then further communication can not take place. A man will decide that he is not interesting and will disappear from your life.
  • Sloppy appearance. If a woman comes on a first date in dirty clothes and with a shabby manicure – a sign of bad form. Every man wants to admire his partner in life, so the appearance is always important.
  • Swaggering behavior. At the first meeting you can drink a couple of glasses of wine, to thank a man for the evening and a friendly hug. Do not make explicit allusions to intimacy and talk about their love affairs.
  • Talking about marriage. A man may think that he is the last chance for you to create a family and will run away. Events should develop smoothly. Do not devalue your own merits. You can talk about marriage only when you are in a strong relationship.
  • Telling about your problems and shortcomings. At the first meeting, there’s no need to complain about life and talk about a bad boss and an envious girlfriend. Frank topics are better left for later, on the first date all topics should be positive.
  • Aggressive behavior. If a woman doesn’t like the level of service, the choice of restaurant and the young man’s hairstyle. At the first meeting, she makes sarcastic remarks and taunts. Such behavior scares away men and makes them not call back even a very beautiful girl.
  • Interest in the financial situation of the partner. On the first date, it is normal to be interested in the sphere of interlocutor’s activity, but questions about the salary look inappropriate.
  • Excessive initiative. The girl should not take full responsibility for the relationship and make decisions for two.
  • Do not eat anything on the date. Many women are embarrassed to order a full meal on a date, so they make do with a glass of water or a light salad. If a man invites you on a date to a restaurant, you need to order dishes to your liking and understand that eating on the first meeting is not embarrassing at all.
  • Endure discomfort. For example, if you have a stomach ache or headache you do not have to be ashamed to leave after explaining the reason. Force majeure situations happen to all people, the real man will appreciate your honesty.
  • Brag about your achievements. No need to praise yourself on the first date, it can repel a young man.
  • The image of a blonde. Some girls are trying to portray a beautiful girl with mediocre intellectual abilities. Such people want to evoke a subconscious desire to protect and defend the man, this strategy repels at the first meeting.

These common mistakes made by many women trying to make a good impression on a man. On the first date you need to be sincere and sweet, then the young man will pay attention. One call that didn’t happen doesn’t mean that a woman is doing everything wrong. There are many worthy men in the world who are willing to pay attention to you.

If a man has stopped calling

In the many letters from female readers, to which I regularly respond in my articles, questions about relationships with men have been frequent lately. Summer, the heat, the passion, the meetings … Many people doubt the rightness of action, need advice and insights from the outside.

Let’s look at an example from which I have developed an entire discussion. Situations from it may be similar to yours, and it will be easier for you to understand and find your individual answer.

There was a question: “If a man doesn’t call after three meetings, but only sometimes sends text messages, how can we understand him?”

So: if after three meetings a man doesn’t call, disappears for a while – does it matter what kind of meetings they were? How did the contact work out? But even if you take it as a whole, there are different stages in a relationship:

  1. The first stage (attraction) manifests itself in everyone actively: a man, a woman – they liked you, reached out. A man’s sexuality is turned on, a woman’s intellectual component is turned on… And then a man with his passions is near you. You may also show some passions. And then it was like a small victory occurred, he deserved your attention. You have agreed to some level of intimacy as far as your own self-worth and your own intentions are concerned.
  2. And then, the second stage, at some point (it happens in 99 percent of cases – it’s the norm) the man is a little bit distant. This is very important for him! This is not uncertainty, this is the moment of weighing, the moment of healthy doubt, when the man rechecks everything, whether he needs all this, whether he needs this relationship, whether he needs this woman or all that he could, he received, and she is usual, there is no sense to waste time and energy on her.

Very much will depend on what was at the first stage of attraction, how much you attracted him and showed him that you have a lot, not just a physical shell, a primitive physical attraction; how much dignity you have, how much you respect yourself, how much you believe in yourself; how sure you are beautiful and worth pursuing, earning your attention and wooing.

Now it has become customary on the first or second date to go to bed and stay overnight. And this is absolutely unhealthy for a woman: there is a sense of emotional hunger, of being used, even when she seems to have enjoyed herself.

Some men, of course, like to tell you that you get pleasure out of it, too. It’s like, “Well, why, you want it too… I can see it… I can feel it. Purely physically, your body can respond, it’s okay to react. But here is the question of your respect for yourself, especially if you know that in general you won’t get fullness of sensations, really intimacy, fullness from such a quick relationship.

One of women’s mistakes is that women often settle for a man’s speed. His blood boiled – and that’s it, the woman immediately: “Of course, how come… If you want me, you can’t refuse.

There is a saying about this: “If you give to everyone, the bed will break”.

That’s what they forget for some reason, and immediately think up for themselves, “Well, he’s not everyone! I liked him so much” and so on and so forth…

And in fact you know him very often one or two nights. And somehow it turns out that you don’t even know him at all – neither your husband nor your beloved. So, just passing by … But the woman herself commits a mistake and surrenders his fortress, afraid to stay alone.

The point is that if a man really deserves you, and you “hooked” him in a good way, showed your versatility, that you have this and that, and you are interesting, and also emotional, and also intellectual, and not only sexual – he will woo, he will pursue, because men are interested in it.

Surely you have faced situations where there is some unwanted suitor, but he still can’t get away. You have rejected him once and twice, and it seems that you have not even shown him half of your ankle, but he is in love with you up to his neck. And very often, if you analyze it, you can see that this was just the right strategy, a decent strategy. You gave him a turn at the door, or set a little more distance, you did not let him close to your body, and he read it as a test, as something that he needs to prove himself, that he has a goal, a summit to conquer. He tried to do something for you: some kind of courting, he invited you somewhere, took you somewhere, helped you with something. And he is already sincerely attached to you, in a good sense. It is you that this man has got to know. For you he does something, he tries, because in this way he makes you happier, and so he feels himself great.

And if after the first couple of meetings a man has just said a kind word to you and you have spread out before him, he has nothing to reach further. It is a rare case when he immediately saw and loved something deep inside of you – then he will stay, but in most cases – no, he will not see this depth at once… If you gave up on the first floor, he will be too lazy to go up higher.

There is a good anecdote about this: “In the city they opened a store where they sell husbands. The store has five floors. The higher the floor, the better the husbands, and the more expensive the prices”.

There are three rules:

  1. You can’t go back to the previous floor;
  2. If the choice is already made, you can’t change it, return your purchase or exchange it;
  3. This store can only be visited once in a lifetime. One day a woman walks into this store.

There is a sign on the first floor that says, “Men who make good money and are good-looking are sold here” .

“How cool is that?” thought the woman, but went to the second floor.

On the second floor a sign said, “Men for sale here who make good money, are good-looking and love children.” .

“Great! That’s actually great…but I’ll keep going.” the woman decided. And she went to the third floor.

There was also a sign on the 3rd floor that said, “Here are men for sale who make good money, are good-looking, love children, and help around the house.”

“Oh! That’s the perfect husband, what more do you need…? But then what’s on the fourth floor?!” , and she went on.

The sign on the 4th floor read: “Men for sale here who make good money, are good-looking, love children, help with household chores, and are quite romantic.” .

“I have to buy it! That’s wonderful! But … there’s also the 5th floor” and, reluctantly, with a great desire to buy a husband on the 4th floor, but driven by curiosity, the woman went to the 5th floor.

There was a sign on the 5th floor that said, “We’re sorry, but husbands are not for sale here. This floor is designed to prove once again that women always want more. You are 1,976,853 visitors. No woman has ever left the store with a purchase.”

In order not to violate equality, they opened a store across the street where you can buy a wife. The rules are the same. There are also five floors.

A man walked into this store one day. On the 1st floor a sign reads: “Women who like sex are sold here” . No man has ever gone further than the first floor…

The moral in the context of the article is hopefully transparent: open the man access to sex, he will stop there.

Let’s go back to the moment when after the stage of attraction a man has doubts, and he may disappear.

It’s a normal natural phase: to doubt, to reconsider, to check if it’s even worth continuing. It’s an absolutely normal period. And here it is very important for a woman to be patient, calm and wait.

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