I want to leave my husband – outline

I want to leave my husband: a temporary weakness or a firm decision

“I want to leave my husband.” Such a thought comes to many women from time to time, because not always all relationships are perfect. Maintaining harmony in the family is a big and hard work, which not all lovers are capable of. For this reason, some people’s marriage lasts no more than a year, and others unexpectedly for themselves celebrate the fiftieth wedding anniversary.

If you are suddenly thinking about divorce, then before you burn all the bridges behind you, it is important to think carefully about whether you really have good reasons to leave your husband. In what cases it will be the right decision, consider in our article.

Crises in family relationships

If the couple’s relationship does not work out, is it worth getting a divorce? It is impossible to give an unambiguous positive or negative answer here, so it is best to ask for help from a marriage counselor or psychologist. He will help to identify marital problems and ways to solve them. When the misunderstanding in the marriage occurred for the first time or occurs infrequently, there is a great chance to save the relationship.

In psychology there are several phases of marital crisis. Of course, such a division is rather arbitrary, it is not equally indicative for all couples in the world, because it depends on many factors. But still there is a reason to consider certain common terms.

The beginning of married life is a real test for couples, because at this time may emerge all the pitfalls and reveal the features of the partner’s character, which previously were not even suspected. At this time, you have to remove the rose-colored glasses and accept the realities as they are. It is not known whether the wife can cope with the annoyance of the constant soap divorces on the bathroom mirror, and the husband – with the fact that the cooked food is not always edible. Such discoveries often cause partners to become frustrated with each other.

This is a serious challenge, often coinciding with the birth of a firstborn. During this phase it is important for spouses to realize that they are no longer just a couple. A child changes the regime and daily routine of all family members, and demands constant attention. The mother devotes all of herself to the baby, while very little time is left for the husband, and as a rule, he gets a tired and exhausted wife.

Often this crisis does not occur, and the couple may quietly move into the next phase. At this time, the spouse either goes to work after the birth of the child, or one maternity leave is replaced by another. In either case, the family is subjected to new stressful situations, tension, and therefore there are additional reasons for anger and discord in the family.

It is considered one of the most intractable. Love turns into a habit, feelings and passion cool down, each spouse lacks care and affection. At this time, a new round of recriminations and dissatisfaction begins. Genesis sucks in and becomes unbearable. Often at this point the husband goes in search of warmth on the side and gets a mistress.

This period becomes decisive: whether the marital union will last or fall apart. If the couple can get past this stage, nothing else threatens them. It often coincides with a mid-life crisis. Children also begin in adolescence, with its ensuing adolescent rebellion and disobedience. As you can see, at this time in the family a whole set of reasons for discord.

7 Situations When It’s Really Worth Leaving Your Husband

Probably everyone has heard the phrase that love lives for three years. And such a statement is not accidental. It is after this term that the first turning point can occur. After seven years of life together, there is another, no less dangerous crisis. But if the spouses were able to overcome these difficult situations, it will only strengthen their relationship. There are times, though, when difficulties undermine a marriage.

With the onset of serious problems in the family, many women think: “I want to leave my husband. But you should not rush to conclusions and make decisions, because crises in the relationship are usually temporary. Of course, it’s easier to break than to glue. And the spouses see a difficult period in the family as a situation that must be resolved: divorce, break the relationship. What are the true and serious reasons for leaving your partner?

A partner’s love affair can be a reason for divorce. Women are able to accumulate anger for a long time, but rarely forgive serious insults. The worst of these is when you are betrayed. Few people are capable of forgiving that, much less forgetting it. In any case, even if a wife has suffered once, her husband will not get a second chance. Without thinking, walk away from a man who is used to infidelity!

Psychologists constantly say that living together just for the sake of the children is far from a good idea. Parents think that so they take care of their children, who live in a full family. But the constant conflicts and quarrels will do much more damage to the psyche of the child than the temporary absence of a parent and their divorce. If a spouse concludes for herself: “I want to leave her husband for another or in the free floating” – it is better to do so.

Sometimes it is extremely important to a person what his acquaintances and neighbors think of him. This is a significant reason not to break up a relationship, so that there is no gossip and gossip. They are afraid to disappoint their friends who are in favor of keeping their marriage. But this approach is fundamentally wrong. Because everyone is responsible only for themselves. And you should not be concerned about the opinion of others about their personal lives. A couple should have complete independence in this matter.

Intimacy is not a key part of the marital union, but it is necessary. And if there is no attraction and understanding in this area, it will be difficult to maintain a good relationship. One of the spouses may find a lover. This is one of the reasons why a wife wants to leave her husband for another.

When people first start living together, life seems like a fairy tale, the wife sees only the good in her chosen one, and any shortcomings seem insignificant. But soon everything can change, and harmless at first habits begin to irritate: scattered socks, raised toilet lid and even such things as the manner of walking, silly jokes. The reason for the discontent, most likely, is not in the real actions of her husband, but that you just pissed off the man himself. His actions become just an excuse to pour out your feelings.

Everyone in the family has to do their part in the household chores. It is great when the man can wash a cup after himself, wash socks if necessary, and put the baby to bed. A woman, in turn, should not hang on her husband’s neck, but try to earn money too. Mutual assistance will create a harmonious relationship. Otherwise, the marital union will not last long, one of the spouses will not endure.

One of the main reasons when a woman decides: “I want to leave my husband”, is abuse. In this case, both psychologists and relatives will only support you. It makes no difference what the severity of abuse by a spouse. If he just once could raise his hand against you, you need to think. Spousal aggression is always caused by a reason: either the husband’s mental instability, or it’s a response to his wife’s dissatisfaction. But you should not even try to understand him and justify it. There should be no place in the family for bullying. This is as much a crime as a criminal one, and the minimum you should do is to pack your bags and leave.

How to properly leave your husband

If you decide to leave, then do it peacefully, without unnecessary fighting. It’s better to take such a decision on a cool head, when you’re calm, but not in a moment of scandal, for example. If you realized that you can no longer and do not want to live with your husband, then do not put it off indefinitely. Here are some tips on how to leave properly:

1. Plan a dialogue with your husband, explain the situation to him without nerves. Try to solve all the issues that have arisen, especially about the division of property, child support rights, discuss the days of the father’s meeting with the children. You should clarify all aspects of your future life.
2. When do I have to leave? Match the situation. If you realized that you want to leave your husband for another”, talk about the situation with your spouse calmly and thoughtfully, do not give in to persuasion or provocation. Husbands may try to start a scandal. Stay calm and don’t react. If the conversation doesn’t work, walk away in silence. And later, when the man calms down, discuss everything.
3. If you can stay friends, try to do just that. After all, you once loved each other, and part friends – it’s an act worthy of respect. Do not slander your former chosen one, to tell bad things about him to friends and strangers. Try to keep a good relationship, especially if there are children in the family.

How to leave your husband when there is a child

We have already found out that the family should not exist for the sake of children, there is no need to even try to pick up the pieces of a broken relationship. Quarrels, scandals with your husband, emotional abuse, physical abuse, and cheating make not only you suffer, but also the child. Despite his age, he understands everything, and in the future such experiences can affect his personal life.

When the child is small, you can tell him, “Daddy will live separately for a while, but he will always come to you. Don’t go into too much detail. When he grows up, you will find the right words, and by that time your child may have a new father. Your teenager may realize for himself the reasons for divorce, and that living separately from his father – it’s best for him. In this case, try to preserve the dignity of the father in the eyes of the child, even if the former spouse did not deserve it.

After your divorce, file for child support immediately, and if you are on maternity leave, demand an amount that will allow you to support your children and yourself. This issue should only be resolved in court, no promises. In practice, ex-husbands help rarely, briefly, or give an amount that is barely enough for the child’s food, not to mention clothes and everything else.

How to start a new life after leaving your husband

Never regret leaving your man or the time you spent with him. This is what weak people do, and you – a strong woman, since you made such an important and difficult step. Moreover, there is no turning back. But you learned life lessons and gained new experiences that have made you stronger and wiser. Only when you cope with feelings of discouragement, sadness, anger and hatred can you find peace and tranquility, and be open to new feelings.

But do not immediately try to find another man. Feel the freedom, live for a while only for yourself beloved. There is no need to cry, to sacrifice themselves, to devote all the time only to the children and household chores. Unsuccessful family experience does not mean that you will always be alone. Better yet, get rid of all things related to your ex-husband, even if they are expensive.

By letting go of negative emotions, you can replace longing and anger with happiness, love for yourself and life.

1. Always think about yourself, about what is good for you . Do not dwell on others, it’s your life. And if you still have any feelings about an alcohol addict, a rapist or a bad father, just turn them off and think soberly.
2. Discover new horizons . Read an interesting detective story, go camping, go to the movies, go skydiving. While you’ve been putting up with your husband’s bullying, life has been passing you by. So now you need to make up for lost time. And believe me, it’s a lot better than crying into your pillow and eating cookies at night.
3. Find yourself a hobby. Analyze your interests and find something to your liking. Maybe decide to go to some courses or join a special club. There you will not only occupy your mind, but also make new friends.
4. Also take care of your appearance. Go to a salon, because you know that “a new hair – a new life. Update your closet, exercise, change your eating habits. And you’ll feel light not only in your body, but also in your head.
5. Plunge headlong into work. Permanent employment will not give you time to suffer. And there’s career growth, high salary. Become independent and self-sufficient. This will not only help improve the financial situation, but to become more attractive in the eyes of the opposite sex.
6. Get your head in order . Do not make the same old mistakes, define for yourself the criteria for choosing a life partner in the future, perhaps you also need to change something in yourself.

And do not be afraid of the unknown. You will not be alone, your children, friends and relatives will be with you. You will cope with all the difficulties. If you have firmly decided: “I want to leave my husband to another” – this already says about your determination and strength of spirit.

Learn to think positively. Take the divorce is not the end, and as a start – a new life, a new self, new opportunities. Believe in your strength, and then no obstacles and falls you are not afraid.

Reasons to leave your husband: 7 signals that you need a divorce

We all have different worldviews. For many girls, who at age 18 already dream of starting a family as soon as possible, marriage seems to be the most important event in life. Marriage for them is sacred, and it should not be destroyed under any circumstances, even if objectively it is already a necessity. Such a point of view is naive. After all, sometimes the situation is such that the best way out – is divorce. What are the reasons why you should leave your husband?

Broken cup does not glue. This expression is by no means meaningless. In terms of psychology, it means that the relationship has outlived itself. When this happens, it is very difficult to help the couple. If you continue to live together, there will be more and more unpleasant emotions associated with the partner. Anger, mutual recriminations and resentments will eventually destroy the marriage. By maintaining an incomplete relationship and being afraid to leave, husband and wife miss the opportunity to be happy again.

We often make the mistake of jumping to conclusions about a person. We idealize him and our relationship, believing that we will live happily ever after and, of course, leave this world together. But in real life, it doesn’t work that way. Over time, we realize that we were mistaken, and there is no desire to continue to maintain such an alliance. And even though you were once head over heels in love with your husband and thought you were a beautiful couple, there may still come a moment when you realize that you are not soul mates at all. In that case, unfortunately, you will not be able to resume a happy relationship. And this is one of the good reasons to leave your husband.

There is an opinion that a person does not change for the better. You may not agree with this, but life often proves that this is the case. It is impossible to force a husband to become different. Moreover, many men do not like to be forced to change. Your spouse is not what you want him to be? You have only two choices: accept it as it is or leave. By failing to act, you condemn him and yourself to suffering.

There are other situations that push people to break up the relationship. However, the above-mentioned reasons are serious reasons for breaking up, because continuing to live together is hell for both of them. There are specific signals by which a woman herself can understand that it is time to leave her husband.

You can find out what her husband’s actions are not worth turning a blind eye to in this video:

The main reasons to leave your husband

Many people ponder how to leave their husbands for no apparent reason if the relationship is going somehow wrong. Be careful in your judgments, because a relationship crisis is a temporary phenomenon. You can easily destroy the relationship, taking a difficult psychological period of the family as a situation that should be resolved by divorce. What are the real reasons for leaving your loved one?

Your spouse is cheating on you.

Your husband’s affairs on the side can be a reason to leave him. It has already been mentioned that women tend to accumulate resentments. The strongest of them is for the betrayal of the beloved. To forgive in such a case is not so easy. And you only need to do it once. If treason became a habit in the man, do not hesitate to divorce!

You live for the sake of the child.

Marriage for the sake of children is a bad idea. Psychologists talk about it all the time. You can not agree with them, because when children live with both parents, it is much better than if they are brought up by one person. However, the relationship between spouses can be so bad and destructive that it is worth separating for his own good. Breaking up parents will be less traumatic for the child than your daily quarrels.

You are afraid that people will not understand you.

Many people are so dependent on the opinions of others that they cannot leave their spouse, even when there are no feelings left at all. A couple usually has a large number of friends, acquaintances, and relatives in common who may not understand their desire to divorce. Unfortunately, we often focus on what people around us think. And that’s a big mistake, because everyone is only responsible for their own lives. Your loved ones don’t get to decide what you do with your relationship. Both you and your husband have the right to change your fate the way you want.

Poor sexual compatibility.

Intimacy is not the most important thing in a marital union. However, if there is no attraction and harmony in this area, family life will be difficult. Infidelity will appear, followed by tension between the spouses. This is one of the reasons to leave your husband.

Your spouse annoys you.

In the very beginning of life together, the disadvantages of the man you love seem quite nice. It is good if you can calmly accept your husband’s shortcomings over the years. However, over time, there is a dissatisfaction with his habits and manner of behavior. For example, we get angry when our spouse forgets to close the tube of toothpaste. We can be annoyed by all sorts of things: his voice, his gait, or his sense of humor. And the reason is not the true shortcomings of her husband, and that you pissed him off. And his behavior only allows the emotions that you are hiding to manifest.

There is only one person doing the household chores.

One of the functions of the family – mutual assistance and joint solution to many issues in the life of a couple. Not right if the bulk of the tasks takes over only one of the spouses. Taking care of the children, running the household, and earning money should be done jointly, supporting each other. Otherwise, the marriage will not last long, and someone will have to leave. It is naive to believe that everything will work itself out.

Your spouse raises his or her hand against you.

One of the serious reasons to leave your husband without looking back is abuse from his side. In this case, the degree of cruelty of the husband does not matter. If you were hit at least once, it’s a reason to think. Aggression spouse can not be gratuitous. Usually it is associated with instability of the psyche. Or as a response to his wife’s irritability. It doesn’t matter what drives a man when he hits a woman. You can’t live with a man like that. Statistically, domestic crime accounts for a large percentage of all criminal offenses.

Is jealousy good or bad?

Many women think that in order to make a man fall in love with himself, to get him, you need to be unavailable and a mystery. Then, when he’s bitten by it, fall in love, you need to keep him in tone. It’s an opinion, a lot of illusions like that. It doesn’t work well, but that’s not the point right now. And then how do you keep him toned down? Like making him jealous so he thinks you’re so super valuable and so he doesn’t slack off. And yes, at first it works. Then it starts to irritate him and make him aggressive and it stops working. Just like manipulation when you resent a man. At first, if he’s in love or he’s interested in you, he corrects himself, all obliging, and then he gets abruptly annoyed by it.

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At least one of the reasons mentioned in the article is enough to leave your husband. But many women procrastinate in breaking up. After all, there are more and more reasons to do it. There are other reasons to leave the family.

It is difficult for any woman to separate the current situation from what has bound the couple together for many years. In order to make it easier to make a decision, you need to find characteristic signs that point to the inevitable breakup and may be a reason to leave your husband:

You complain about your spouse to others, telling about all his shortcomings.

You have no desire to be beautiful for him.

• Your worldviews in important areas of life absolutely do not coincide.
• You never help each other.
• You are embarrassed to be around your husband in the company of other people.
• Your children have become anxious because of your arguments.
• You have nothing to talk about.
• You have no leisure time together.
• Naturally, it is hard for a woman to leave her husband. There are many things that prevent it. After all, you will have to take care of the child alone, to solve financial issues on their own and to rebuild a relationship. In addition, the world still disapproves of divorce, and a woman who is left without a spouse is labeled “divorced. To leave your husband, these fears must be overcome. And over time, everything will change for the better. Otherwise, you will never be happy around a man you don’t love. Don’t torture yourself when you have reasons to leave your husband, even with a child.
• How to avoid divorce and keep your family together
• If after a long time you are still agonizing over the issue of divorce, take a break from the relationship. Live separately from each other. Take advantage of this pause to think carefully about the reasons that are pushing you to divorce, and make an informed decision.
• Not only women, but also men often think about leaving the family. But here we can not hurry and act on emotion, otherwise there is a risk of ruining the marriage, which can still be saved. In that case, you’ll long regret that you were in haste with the conclusions and acted hastily. Think about what made you feel cold to his partner? What are your reasons for leaving her husband?
• Perhaps the culprit is the lack of novelty in the relationship and the home routine. Think again, whether this is a good reason to be alone. And if you have children, then the responsibility increases many times.
• If your husband cheated on you, it’s up to you whether you will be together or not. Relatives and friends can think about it all they want, but the question of saving the marriage should be answered only by you, based on your own feelings. Still, don’t forget that an affair on the side is fleeting, and you and your husband have been in a relationship for years. No matter what happens, he always comes home and takes care of you and the family’s financial well-being. Maybe the best way out is to take care of yourself so that your spouse is interested in you and not other women.
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