How to Behave at the Beginning of a Relationship to Form a Strong Couple
Know how to behave at the beginning of a relationship is useful for both guys and girls. After all, it is at the first stage of the process of the emergence of feelings, which can later turn into true love. To become a strong couple, it is important to work on yourself and avoid mistakes from the first days of dating.
If you dream of personal happiness and want to have a family as soon as possible, our article will be useful. Today we will tell you how to behave at the beginning of a relationship and find true harmony with your partner.
How to behave at the beginning of a relationship: general rules for all
Let’s start with the fact that you should not burden the young man with his boring past at the beginning. Voluntarily or involuntarily, but he will present you in those times, will draw not a very rosy picture. Why would you want to do that? No doubt you will tell him all this, but a little later, when your relationship becomes more profound.
You don’t want to make a dig at the past. Agree, anyone in a new relationship craves calm and peace, so do not deprive your chosen one of this, give him exactly what he needs right now.
It happens that in the initial stage of the man may retreat, to curb their activity. In this case, be wise: do not impose, do not insist. Perhaps, in order to better understand each other and assess the affection, you need to be at a distance.
Many are afraid of such pauses, and in vain. Such pauses at the beginning of a relationship will help you not to become just another love trophy, will make it clear how much you need a relationship with this man.
If you listen to the advice of psychologists about how to behave in the beginning of a relationship, you can learn an interesting point: jealousy in the early days is a must! Of course, in moderation. However, there is no guarantee that you will not be fiercely jealous, including the past. Listen to yourself. Perhaps you are too often in communication with a new young man mentions his ex. You shouldn’t have an affair if you haven’t let go of a previous love story.
It is important to assess the amount of time you devote to your chosen one. Surprisingly, most people in love tend to disguise their infatuation as much as possible, not to show their interest, while it is very important for him to understand your attitude, to realize his value. Be vigilant, in no case do not devote a lot of time to your past.
If a girl zealously jealous of her lover to his past relationships, then she should understand: you’re not sure about yourself or your chosen one. Relationships must be based on trust and respect, otherwise nothing good will come of them. Work on yourself, figure out why and where you feel the weakness. Learn to trust your loved one.
Jealousy suggests that you want to overshadow the former lover. But remember that love – it does not mean to be in someone else’s possession, especially when your romance is just beginning. It is not easy to become the one and only, it will take a lot of time and effort. And it’s not just about the girl, it will take a lot of work for both of you.
Don’t try to change the person you love. Do you love him? So love him with all his virtues and flaws. There are cases when one of the lovers realizes that he or she will not be able to put up with some habits or facts of the partner’s life. In this case, you should not drag it out, it is better to break the relationship before you go too far.
Five tips for girls on how to behave at the beginning of a relationship with a man
- Do not turn into a “mommy”.
Many girls because of their inexperience in building a relationship begin to apply the wrong patterns of behavior. For example, they take on the role of “mom”, and their boyfriend, in turn, is forced to play the role of a “little kid” who does not step without her permission. In this case, there are two options for the development of such a relationship.
People tend to walk in a circle and, as they say, step on the same rake. So, to prevent this from happening with your relationship, try to understand what exactly motivates you in this role:
- First – you lack the attention of men, you are offended, you reproach him that he spends very little time in your society.
- Second – a woman becomes a servant for his man: laundry, ironing, cleaning, cooking dinner. This is what all her “love” boils down to.
Of course, love – it is care, attention, but all in moderation! Believe me, your man is not a little boy who is completely helpless and can’t take care of himself. Such hyperopedic you close and alienate the man from himself, he is unlikely to want to share his innermost with his “mom”.
- Do not neglect your interests and hobbies.
Often a girl is ready for anything, only to impress the new chosen one: she throws hobbies, tries to understand and love what her young man is passionate about. And all for the sake of spending as much time together as possible. Understand, he paid attention to you when you were himself, a person with his own interests, hobbies, and not a copy of him. Do not lose your personality, only then he will always be interested in you.
- Do not limit yourself to communicate with friends.
Often girls do not know how to behave at the beginning of a relationship with a guy: whether it will be possible to communicate with his buddies, colleagues, etc. Cavaliers in a fit of jealousy may prohibit her such communication, but this is more likely to be a problem with him. Thus, he is trying to compensate for his insecurities and complexes, applying total control. Be careful, there is a danger of being left alone, without the most loyal friends, time and business proven.
The psychology of women sometimes play a cruel joke, when it pushes them to radical changes in themselves in an effort to reach an ideal. One thing women do not take into account: they strive to become the ideal by their own criteria, and not vice versa. Women break themselves, going to perfection, but the established personality is not easy to break and rebuild, sooner or later there is a nervous breakdown. Stop and think about whether such action is justified? Do you need your man a “perfect”, because he fell in love with you …
Nature has predetermined the dominant role of men in the family. It is he and the earner, and defender and support for their families. It is unlikely he would be able to show it all, if it was in the power of the “General. Learn to be a woman next to a strong man, do not ask, but learn how to ask. Otherwise, your chosen one will run away faster than you have time to attach it to the bonds of love.
Tips for guys to behave at the beginning of a relationship with a girl
The question of how to behave at the beginning of a relationship is not just a question for women. There are categories of men who are also worried about how not to show themselves in an unnecessary way, so as not to scare away their muse. We propose to read about five points that women pay attention to when choosing a spouse:
- Appearance. Yes, women love with their ears, it’s a fact, but they absolutely care what kind of man will be next to her. She sees him neat, in good physical shape, with well-groomed nails.
- Intelligence. You do not need to have five higher educations and a couple of scientific degrees to impress a pretty girl. It is important to be able to hold a conversation on various topics, to be able to express his point of view on a particular issue, to be an interesting interlocutor.
- Education. Agree, any girl is pleased when she gets a hand on the way out of the transportation, holds the door, offers to carry heavy bags. This is a serious plus in the cavalier’s piggy bank.
- Character traits. Women like confident men, who clearly know what they want from this life, able to give love and care, kind, honest, decisive.
- A sense of reliability. A woman needs support, a pillar, a strong shoulder. When a man is not in a hurry to share household chores, does not see the prospects of his life, and sometimes does not mind to live at the expense of his chosen one, it is unlikely that such a gentleman will be interested in a serious girl.
Not all men can understand women on a subtle psychological level: few of them can put themselves in her place, sincerely empathize and feel different emotions as clearly as a woman. This complicates the life of a guy at the stage of building a relationship. Let’s listen to the advice of psychologists on this topic:
- Be passionate in bed;
- Do not forget about the romantic surprises, dates;
- Show care and attention to your loved one;
- Say nice things in her ear;
- Give flowers and nice gifts for no reason;
- Take an interest in your beloved’s hobbies;
- Spend weekends together more often, alone;
- Be friendly with her parents and close social circle;
- Do not lie, do not betray;
- know how to listen to your girlfriend;
- Don’t criticize her, even if there is something to criticize her for.
8 common mistakes girls make at the beginning of a relationship
- An overabundance of meetings and communication.
If you are really wondering how to behave at the beginning of a relationship with a guy, then listen to this advice: do not fill all of his free time with yourself. It is clear that in the beginning you want to be together as often as possible, but you should not hurry. It would be nice to be limited to a couple of dates a week.
Do not panic that it will alienate you, on the contrary, you will keep longer interest in each other, a sense of love and mild excitement. But this does not mean that this model of behavior is the only and correct. If you see interest, if the man is willing to be with you 24/7, then do not limit it, he may regard it as a rejection, lack of interest or suggest that you have he is not the only admirer.
Do not turn a man into a lifeline that will be your everything, overshadowing your friends, hobbies, interests. Believe me, you should not be so clingy to a young man. Let him breathe deep, do not bind to yourself.
After all, he’s just a person like you, with his habits, interests, old friends with whom he was used to go to a sports bar on weekends or play soccer. Over time, your friends will become common. You will learn more about each other’s hobbies.
Yes, you can’t have a fulfilling relationship between a man and a woman without sex, but don’t get into bed on the first date. This will seriously damage your reputation, because the guy may think that you are an easy-access madam, who is ready to do everything at once. Keep the intrigue, everything should be harmonious.
Watch the timbre of your voice, be reasonable and discreet in showing emotion. Men do not always understand the mood swings of women: you want to express to him his dissatisfaction because of some nonsense, just because you have PMS? Stop, breathe out, do not break a sweat.
Women are big fantasists. Already on the first date they come up with the names of their children together, trying on the name of the guy, planning a move to another city and much more. Ring a bell? Has that ever happened? Imagine a situation where you start “bombarding” your chosen one with similar questions from the first dates. It is unlikely that your relationship will last long, take your time.
No loud phrases in the early stages, for example, such as: “I love you. Here you run the risk of being misunderstood, to scare away the suitor such statements. The man will need to respond to you. Imagine the situation if he answered you: “And I do not love you!” … Leave these words to your chosen one, believe me, he will be able to find the right moment.
These two whales can destroy everything in their path. At the beginning of a romantic relationship, you have no right to tell your boyfriend what to wear, what to eat, who to date. As mentioned above – be a wise woman, gradually “seize” the new territory and do not forget about the sense of proportion.
You are unlikely to remake your chosen one, it is best to take him for who he is, with all his habits and principles. Restrain, do not criticize, if you understand that there is no way to get along with some of his manner, it is better to separate. Believe me, you can not change the man, his habits – this is the second “I”, his nature.
In the end I want to say this – do not try to control every step, every word, do not try to become ideal, unlike yourself. Give yourself to feelings, emotions, let a new, tender feeling into your life.
How to start a relationship with a guy you like?
Copywriter with a college degree in psychology. Can’t get past articles about how our brains work.
Expert – Margarita Lopukhova
Family psychologist. For 8 years I save the “family unit” from collapse. I help couples regain love and understanding.
The beginning of a relationship with a guy – an important and serious stage during which the foundation is laid for the future of the couple. If there is one, of course. And to be or not to be the future depends on many factors, but the most important is the correct and harmonious development of the original relationship, so every step of the way should be thoroughly thought out and weighed.
The future depends primarily on the wisdom of women. How she behave, how to bypass the pitfalls so that the relationship was favorable and led to good results?
Already on the first date the couple begin to lay the stereotypes of future relationships, which then it is not easy, and sometimes impossible, to correct.
To better navigate in such matters, you must first understand the psychological types of men. And how to behave at the beginning of a relationship correctly.
Classification of men according to psychological types
- Type one, unable to build a relationship
The inability to build the right relationship has two reasons. The first is that the man is not mature enough for a long-term relationship, but there is hope that over time he will change for the better. The second reason is that he is not capable of building a priori relationships with people. To come to the right conclusions, it is worth asking how are his relationships in the workplace, with neighbors, parents, friends, if any.
A man of this type can coexist with a woman, but more in the physical plane. Psychologically, he is deeply indifferent to how the woman feels. He doesn’t even try to take care of her, it doesn’t occur to him. Taking care of her is enough.
Ideal, almost saintly, representatives of the strong half of mankind belong to this type. Their small group is diluted with an ennumber of monks and spiritual gurus, who practically do not need women’s society. There are not enough of these men for all women.
- Type three, ordinary.
Sinful men, strong and not so strong, yearning for love, understanding and recognition. Psychologically vulnerable, largely dependent on women. The most numerous group.
With a representative of the first type it is better to say goodbye immediately and forever, because this psychological parasite will not bring anything but heartache and disappointment to a woman’s life.
A representative of the third type needs a woman as much as she needs him. So, with him it is quite realistic to build a relationship, especially if properly behaved at the beginning. It should be remembered that a lot depends on the first impression, and then it will be impossible to correct it.
The beginning of a relationship with a guy: how not to make mistakes
Some of the female sex when dating begins to play roles that are not appropriate for them. This is a big mistake, because it does not work to play for life. Moreover, if the girl has no talent for acting, then such a game turns out insincere and false. Well, if the partner who has seen the trick will be indulgent, but after all he can wag his finger at his temple, at least virtually. For the normal development of relations it is important to respect yourself and your loved one, to be yourself, and not an invented character.
- Do not give a chance to illusions.
A woman is characteristic of endowing the beloved man with noble features, next to which he, perhaps, did not stand next to, and piously believe in their fantasies. Love clouds the mind, the novelty of feelings blinds, and the faults of the chosen one are not seen, or are seen, but not considered significant.
Life can alarmingly semaphore a woman, but she will stubbornly ignore the signals she receives, so she does not want to let bad things into her love. Illusions will be shattered anyway, it’s just a matter of time. The most frustrating thing is that this happens most often already in marriage and is a source of disappointment and dissatisfaction.
If a girl can not adequately assess the chosen one herself, it is a good idea to invite a more experienced friend or relative as an independent expert.
- Do not get attached before time.
Attachment – not love, but still a rather strong feeling. If there is no confidence in the sincerity of your lover’s feelings, you should not overestimate the importance of the relationship.
A guy can use the premature attachment of the girl for his own purposes, without taking into account her desires and needs. This will lead to serious suffering on the part of the woman as in the case of the relationship breakup, and in the case of their further development.
- Don’t rush into things
It is necessary to keep a certain distance for a long time, now allowing the man to get quite close, now a little away from him. Men like this style of communication, which allows them to feel like conquerors. A woman, on the other hand, as if she were keeping her chosen one on a leash, allowing them to walk freely, but at the same time not allowing them to run away.
It is inevitable when two adults with different upbringings and worldviews come together in one union. But compromises should not humiliate or deceive either party.
The financial component can play a significant role in the development of the relationship, although not every girl will agree to admit it even to herself. In any case, it is worth avoiding talking about this topic so that the admirer does not get the feeling that he is needed for the sake of money.
- Domestic issues are not trivial.
The beginning of a relationship with a guy is perceived as a holiday, and the first time does not give proper importance to domestic issues. As life shows, everyday life is far from being a trifle. Often it is the most difficult obstacle to a happy family life.
- There is no need to dissolve in the chosen one
Do not give yourself all of the man, who is still a stranger and it is unclear whether he will ever become his. Man accepts what is happening as a matter of course, and does not take adequate measures in response. He will get used to this state of affairs and will demand similar treatment always.
If a man behaves disrespectfully in relation to his girlfriend, the boorish, tolerate and be silent categorically impossible. Otherwise, the result of this behavior will be even greater insolence of men.
Do not serve her lover, forgetting about themselves, their needs and hobbies. In this case, the man is gradually beginning to lose interest in the woman as a person.
A woman should in the first place to accept courting and signs of attention, and return them to a man – this is the second. It is appropriate to compare a woman to a flower that is watered by a gardener. The flower thanks the gardener with its blossom and fragrance.
It is unnatural for a flower to start watering the gardener. In this case, the flower will wither away without love and attention.
Some guys may treat excessive tutelage differently. They may find it unpleasant, as it violates their personal space and freedom. A break from each other is necessary, at least for a short time.
- No Claims
Making claims at the beginning of a relationship with a guy is rash. During this period, no one owes anyone anything. Everything is still shaky and unclear.
It is necessary to turn to a man for help. If the girlfriend perfectly copes without him, even with men’s work, her admirer begins to feel his unclaimed, unnecessary, which leads to the degradation of the relationship.
- Do not scare the guy
It is not necessary to pour out on a man a whole bowl of their sorrows and troubles, especially at once. Men, though they are the strongest half of humanity, are actually afraid of all the difficulties and problems.
- Checks – no!
Do not arrange a test of feelings. This is a direct path to disappointment for men, because it does not imply confidence and is an indicator of sheer stupidity.
- Talking about the future is forbidden.
The beginning of a relationship with a guy is not the right time to discuss a shared future. During this period, men do not think about such things and may treat such conversations with apprehension.
It will be better to put a taboo on the past. No talk about who had what, and how many times. And certainly no comparisons.
A woman does not have to reveal herself completely in front of her chosen one. It is necessary to conceal a kind of mystery and intrigue. Again, it is important not to overdo it with secrets.
- The family is sacred.
It is not bad to get acquainted with the parents of the guy, to visit them at home, and not just once, to find out the atmosphere in which he grew up. According to experts, a person subconsciously transfers to his family what he saw in his parents. Observing, as parents treat each other, whether the man helps the woman – you can make far-reaching conclusions.
Not hurtful would be to carefully find out about the health of the parents – no one cancels hereditary diseases.
Do not be fooled by hasty declarations of love. Love matures gradually, juicing like grapes in the sun. It is possible that a mutual sympathy develops into a real feeling of light, but it may be the other way around.
It is impossible to find the perfect man, everyone has his own advantages and disadvantages. It is not right to think that you can re-educate a grown man, to fit the desired pattern. But despite the shortcomings, it is much easier to coexist with a man if you do it consciously.
Every girl dreams of a happy family life. The first step on the long road to the dream is the beginning of a relationship with a guy. Women’s wisdom, patience and love will help you to go through all the thorns and achieve your goal.