Is it true that if you can not forget the man, he needs you?
Psychologists advise not to hope for a miracle. The question, “Is it true that if you can’t get over a man, he needs you?” merely reflects aspirations. But it’s not all that simple. Let’s break down what this means on an energetic, psychological, and emotional level. Why does an attachment form? What esotericists say.
Psychology: what does it mean if you can not forget your former lover
The meaning lies on the surface. Can not get out of your memory, constantly scrolling through the image in your imagination, it means:
- Feelings are hot in your heart. You have not been able to become indifferent to the beloved after the premature breakup. And it happened prematurely because the full potential of the novel is not exhausted.
- Romantic attraction is absent, but there are still “tails. This is what they call unresolved issues. For example, he hurt you, and you did not answer. So, failed to rehabilitate their own personality in their eyes. Feeling unjustly insulted – a serious trauma to the psyche.
- You still need the company of this person. Dependence is built on a variety of grounds. But more often the root of it is her own lack of autonomy.
A common cause of anxiety is the lack of personal life. Memories, we whip ourselves, drive into a quagmire of depression. It happens because it’s scary to build new alliances, to seek a different fate.
Is it true that your ex-boyfriend needs you?
Self-deception is the psyche’s way of protecting itself from the bitter truth. More often than not, the thought reflects a dream. In the harsh reality, the person has long forgotten about you. Preoccupied with his own life.
In rare cases, thoughts reflect the aspiration of the soul of the vis-a-vis. Examples:
- The relationship is over by consent. Both partners found the continuation of the affair untimely or unnecessary. But feelings have not faded.
- The relationship never began, despite mutual desire. The two suffer on their own.
- The separation happened because of interference from the outside, including magical interference.
The main signs of reciprocal reflection:
- The image appears in the head at the most inopportune moment. And to refuse it, to throw it away is not possible.
- Frequent dreams about this person of pleasant content.
- Hiccups. Sneezing without signs of a cold. Sometimes unexplained tears.
Not being able to forget the guy you like.
Here, too, we are talking about self-deception. Unrealized feelings want to pour out, to get out from behind the frames of the restraining mind. In fact, they became a heavy burden on the soul long ago. These are a kind of “stones” preventing one from finding or building happiness.
It is necessary to find out the reasons for a failed crush. Some lacked courage, others needed a lesson to develop. In any case, there is a reason to reflect on what happened, to dig into the past. Holding on to this weight is destructive. It is a shortcut to serious depression. And time spent on idle daydreaming cannot be returned. It flows away, like a river over the horizon.
What this means in terms of esotericism
Attraction does not happen by accident. Any interest in another is a programmed assignment for the individual. Karma forces one to love without calling out, to agonize over the impossibility of reunion.
One must understand that such a condition is a lesson. The person is obligated to solve a certain problem. For example, to let the lover go free.
Esotericism looks at the world from a different angle. What happens to a person is conditioned in advance by his previous incarnations. In his past life, he was selfish, abandoned loved ones, and now the payback has come. That’s the easiest explanation. Especially since there are as many stories as there are people.
The deeper message is this: sooner or later everyone must learn two main things: forgiveness and acceptance. Unrealized passion is the simplest step in this direction. It teaches:
- How to love but not bind yourself. Wish happiness for the one with whom you are not together. Sincerely rejoice in his successes, including those of the heart.
- How to forgive indifference. Do not be offended by what is not appreciated.
You think – so you are karmic partners. Somewhere earlier crossed, tied a knot of problems. Now you need to cut it. There are many methods. To successfully work out karma is to completely forgive yourself and him.
On the energy level
Let’s expand the concept more broadly. All people on the planet are interconnected by energy threads. Feelings make these tethers like cables – thick, powerful, unbreakable. When an emotion of any kind arises in relation to another (positive or negative), its power feeds the thread. It’s hard to tear it away.
Think back to where the thoughts arose from? Why can’t you leave the object alone? If the basis of the situation is an emotion, it must be destroyed. As long as you are experiencing love, envy, anger, resentment – it is impossible to destroy the connection.
Life force flows out through the energy channel. The process is beautiful if it is mutual. Lovers constantly think of each other. Relatives, friends, even partners do the same. The process is logical, positive. People fill up their partner and receive pure energies in return. Together they create a successful, happy personal or business alliance.
If there is no return flow, then you are feeding the vampire. Even if he is not aware of your unenviable situation. But at the level of energy, a distortion occurs. The procedure is dangerous for both parties. Both will receive punishment in the form of aggravation of karma.
The universe is the strictest bank. It controls the portions of energies directed personally. They are given for personal happiness and solution of urgent problems. If they are squandered on idle suffering over an absent person without a vested interest, then the deed is recognized as sinful. Punishment is sure to come.
When the one you’re thinking of all the time also remembers you
Another aspect of the problem has to do with magic. Binding happens rarely. It is not necessary to be frightened at once. Real rituals are carried out only by specialists, and only when the consent of your soul is achieved.
Longing for someone can mean that the object has ordered or performed the ritual of paternoster, succour or similar. Exactly that moment when you can say with certainty: he needs you. But was such interest asked about? Who wants to become a puppet in another’s hands?
Get rid of prying simply – remove the spoilage. And then deal with the need for such a dangerous contact.
How to cool down to a person whom you love, and stop thinking about him
There are effective techniques for working with the subconscious. All of them are qualitative. Here is an example of one, a particularly popular.
Ending a relationship with an ex:
- Take his photo. No – plant a soft toy and put his name.
- Say, “I met you to…”. Describe why in your opinion. Be sure to describe your own expectations.
- Next stage: “In our relationship I realized that…”. Here you need personal experience about love, betrayal, resentment, pain.
- Next: “Now I know that I can’t sacrifice my interests because…”. Spell out what you experienced in these bonds. Talk about what it felt like to give yourself to him.
- “Having learned my lesson, that’s the kind of guy I’ll always recognize.” Be sure to say it. It captures a bad experience. And bookmarking it in your mind will protect you from the next mistake.
- Finally, thank the guy, Explain how you will use your freedom: “I’m letting you go to (be happy)…”.
- Forgive. And ask to look kindly at your beautiful fate.
A kind of ritual is repeated with each unsuccessful partner. Recall all of them. And you should achieve a feeling of peace and ease. If you can’t do it from the first time, try again. Until lightness completely captures the soul.
Your life should not belong to anyone. It is given from Above for your happiness. It is allowed to think about some character if it makes you happy. Otherwise, it’s a vain transfer of light energies to a vampire. Think about it.
How to forget the guy you love and live a new life: the best tips for girls
When relationships collapse, you do not want to savor them, there is no pleasant nostalgic longing for what is now in the past. Want to get as soon as possible to live a new life. To distance oneself from the pain one has to live with, to forget them with all their mistakes and pleasant moments. Scientists have not yet invented a pill to selectively remove memories. But psychologists already know how to forget someone whom you strongly love, how long it takes to begin to forget a man who left, and what to do if you can’t forget a guy you broke up with. We share this information with you.
Tips for girls: how to forget the man you love
After a breakup you want to take away the pain in any way, quickly forget your loved one and stop thinking about him. And better – as soon as possible to get rid of all feelings for the departed person, once and for all, so that with less losses to get out of the situation in which you find yourself. Unfortunately or fortunately, it is impossible to easily forget your ex and start a new life. And the best healer for a broken heart is still time.
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At times like this, you are not the mistress of your brain. Despite a passionate desire not to think about the man at all, events have developed so that he is the only thing you will mainly think about. It is unpleasant and painful, but you will have to put up with it, if your main goal is to cross out of life a man who does not love you. There are still ways to make a man fall in love, but they are not easy at all.
Time, patience and gentleness to yourself are the three main tools you will need during this period. You will have to allow and forgive yourself in advance and a bad mood, and breakdowns, and sobs, and pounds of ice cream – everything that your body decides to do during the stress. Believe me, it’s cheaper to let it all in the long run than it is to not let it.
The first thing you need to do is prepare yourself for what is going to be hard, and decide not to berate yourself for anything that happens until the “hard” is over. So if you want to walk away from the relationship so that this person can never step on a sore spot, hurt or cause a storm of feelings again – stock up on patience, to yourself and read on.
Is it possible to forget an ex
Will a person and everything associated with him ever disappear from memory? Not completely, of course not. Memories will fade and thin over time, but the fact of the relationship with the person and the main impression from them will definitely stay with you. With them, there will be a certain set of memories and emotions devoted to that period in your life, and perhaps some kind of attitude to it all, still alive.
That’s what it will look like a few years later, if you get through the breakup right. If not, the memories of the person and what was between you will hurt you for many, many years to come. There will be unlived emotions left behind: when you come into contact with your ex, you won’t care. It won’t be easy for you to remember that you were once together and then split up. You may become angry, frightened, want revenge, want to show superiority – all of which will indicate that you did not live the breakup fully. No matter how much time has passed since then.
You are unlikely to ever thoroughly forget that relationship, if it was important to you, if you were in love. But you have the power to make the memories of them in any way touch you, or even cause that very pleasant nostalgia for the old days. This nostalgia will not necessarily be addressed to your partner: it can be about how you yourself felt in that relationship. Maybe it was easy for you, or you didn’t love anyone else as much, or maybe you found exactly what you desperately needed in that relationship at the time. Then you feel nostalgic, but you don’t miss your partner. And that’s perfectly normal.
The facts will forever or almost forever remain in your memory. You won’t get to the point where you see the person on the street and you don’t recognize them, you won’t remember them. You won’t forget the relationship itself. It’s just that the memories of them will become dimmer and stop hurting you – and that’s a great result.
Methods to help you forget him.
So, you’ve broken up, but you’re not ready to jump headlong into grief. Try to fend him off is normal, and you should not forbid yourself a breath of fresh air – you have enough melancholy as it is. Try to find a point of balance : do not forget about your pain, give it space, but also distract yourself from it from time to time.
Let’s talk in detail about the eight main ways to distract yourself and get the guy you love out of your head:
- A new hobby. Do something you’ve been meaning to try for a long time. The more hours a week you can give to it, the more exciting it will be in the process, the better. Sports are ideal: the body will benefit from the hormones that are produced during physical activity, and the concentration on the body and the precise execution of the movements perfectly helps to distract from sad thoughts. In addition, after the workout you will have a little less desire to kill it. Because of hormones and fatigue.
- Write letters. You can’t take your mind off the person – write everything that you think about him. It is important to do it by hand and on paper. The fate of the letter is not so important: you can keep it, you can burn it, you can tear it up. The important thing is to keep it out of your ex’s hands. You are writing not for him but for yourself, remember that from the very beginning. Writing about the pain in a letter, you will feel that it bothers you less.
- Ask your friends for support. They will understand and are sure to take care of you. Get out to meetings and hang out, do something together. Be present in the company: its dynamics are a great distraction from everything else.
- Make plans for the days you have traditionally spent together. Fill them with something pleasant, but different from the relationship and associations with it. Great for desires that you’ve long wanted to fulfill and things that your relationship has been getting in the way of. Get a break and enjoy the fact that you can get back to them.
- See a therapist. You may only need a few meetings, but the specialist will help you not get lost in negative experiences, get through them as fully as possible and come out a healthy, whole person. A therapist will accept everything that happens to you, unlike most friends. And will help you find a way to deal with your experiences in a way that doesn’t crush them and still survive. He is trained in these things and knows more about them, and that makes him and that kind of help especially valuable.
- Be more patient and loyal to yourself. Cry if you feel like it. Eat lots of sweets if you feel like it. Do not deny anything that is happening to you. Try to listen to yourself and provide the maximum comfort, the maximum self-care that is possible. You have enough stress as it is.
- Don’t be shy about presenting your feelings. Chances are you will want to talk to your ex. And probably not even once. Do not forbid yourself this: sometimes it is through contact with reality that you need to crush your expectations. Hope that he will want to return, missed, so angry that you can not keep quiet? Offer to see him and say what you have accumulated. See how you react, some of your illusions will crumble. After one or more meetings you’ll come to terms with the status quo, you’ll notice that this interaction is not good for you, you’ll realize that you are worth more to yourself than these feelings. And letting go of the situation will become easier.
- Choose the best dating site, the most interesting for you and spend your time with benefit and pleasure.
These are the main tips for forgetting and letting go of a young man who doesn’t care about you. But there are additional tips that will make it easier to forget the guy you loved and no longer need.
- Get deep into your work: anger and resentment can easily be transformed into energy for hard work.
- Take a trip – at least for a weekend.
- Avoid places you used to love as a couple.
- Set aside hours for concentrated sadness and other emotions.
- Get rid of things that remind you of the relationship.
- Say goodbye to the person in the way you want and after which you feel better.
- Join a interest group.
- Share these experiences and the rest of the relationship – don’t get caught up in thinking that all men are the same.
- Try not to think about what’s going on with him and what he’s thinking.
- Don’t look for guilt.
What to do if you still love.
First and foremost – treat your feelings with care and do not bury them along with the relationship. For some reason, it is often not possible to fall out of love and leave the man to whom you have become attached. Do not sound the alarm too early: love will fade, but do not force the process.
A love that is not mutual now will have to be reconciled with reality. It will last for some time – you can never know in advance how long. If you meet your ex periodically out of undying love and make sure it’s not going to be like it was before, it may fade a little faster, but you’ll get more pain.
Don’t put her anywhere: let her live. You can still give it space – in fantasies and on paper. Your love is not to blame for the breakup, so don’t seek to destroy it and give it time to fade away on its own.
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What to do if feelings have cooled down, but he is still not out of mind
One of two things: either the time has passed, or feelings have not cooled down. Try to figure it out: do you want to get back to this relationship? If yes, then you haven’t lived through the breakup yet, and it’s okay to think about the person. If not, maybe you have something to say. There’s some unfinished business left, and it needs to be dealt with. Visit our dating rating and start a new life.
If you wonder why you can’t get over a guy you used to like – be careful about the context in which he pops up in your thoughts. Find the reason why you’re thinking about him, and deal with that reason. Give yourself some more time, meet with him, write and ask about what’s bothering you-just resolve the situation.