Jealous boyfriend: causes and signs of jealousy, how to avoid it?
Moderate jealousy in a relationship is even flattering and is perceived as a demonstration of indifference and love on the part of a young man. A demonstration of attention is always nice, but sometimes a girl realizes that she got too jealous boyfriend. Reasons and signs of jealousy, how to avoid it, and what to pay attention to – you can learn about this from the article.
Excessive jealousy is not good for relationships. At the heart of suspicion may be different factors. Most often the cause is low self-esteem. Deep down, the jealous guy is unsure that he is worthy to be near such a good girl, his own complexes cause him a constant feeling of discomfort and insecurity.
Trying to hide it, the young man may make a scene of jealousy. Men with these problems may ostentatiously give signs of attention to their lady and literally will not leave her side when the couple is in the company of friends, in a restaurant or at a party.
Another common variant is owner’s syndrome. Such a guy begins to think that the girl belongs to him, and she is not entitled to any rights and freedoms. He may try to control personal correspondence, trips and meetings with friends, tell her how to dress, with whom to communicate. This behavior shows that he doesn’t see the girl as a person and can’t understand that everyone should have a right to choose. It’s better to stay away from such a guy, because people with such views are often prone to physical abuse if something pisses them off.
If the guy is too jealous, in some cases, it means that he is afraid of losing his girlfriend. The greater the fear, the more suspicions arise, especially if things are not going smoothly in the relationship over time. The young man may be afraid to talk frankly about the problems, afraid to hear that the girl wants to break up with him, so he makes no attempt to have a constructive dialogue, but only throws baseless accusations, succumbing to outbursts of jealousy.
The problem may also lie in the behavior of the girl herself. If she dresses rather provocatively, flirts with other men and encourages flirtations of her admirers, this casts doubt on her intentions to build a serious relationship, because everything looks like she is looking for new acquaintances.
Perhaps the girl and the young man have different ideas about the acceptable limits of decency. This may be a consequence of different upbringing, character, views on life. If a girl is used to spending a lot of time in a man’s company, the guy may misunderstand this. In such a situation, jealousy could arise from misunderstanding, so you will need to discuss everything together and set acceptable boundaries.
Some guys are jealous because they judge themselves. This is their psychology; they are not shy about cheating on their chosen one, so they are sure she is doing the same thing. These men think that fidelity does not exist, and everyone cheats, they just do not talk about it out loud. It is extremely difficult to change the mind of such people. Jealousy can arise from negative experiences in a young man’s life. If he already had a bad relationship, which involved cheating on the part of the girl, he may fear a repetition of this history.
Sometimes suspiciousness is a manifestation of an overly violent fantasy. Such a person has certain plots in his head that overshadow reality, as a result he may begin to accuse the girl of romantic attachment to her best friend or to her past boyfriend, or even to actors she likes. If such a guy is jealous, it won’t be easy to change his mind. Even worse when a man with a rich imagination addicted to alcohol – under the influence of alcohol he completely ceases to objectively assess what is happening and may begin to commit unsightly acts.
How to understand that a man is jealous of the 5 signs?
Professional copywriter with a philological education. I have a wide outlook.
The expert – Margarita Lopukhova
Family psychologist. For eight years I have been saving “family units” from disintegration. I help couples regain love and understanding.
How to understand that a man jealous? After all, many representatives of the stronger sex carefully conceal this feeling. And rightly so, because, as one famous writer said, jealousy – a useless thing. If a man loves you, why be jealous? And if he does not love you, then jealousy is all the more useless.
And yet, with bouts of jealousy familiar, almost everyone. Someone experienced this feeling and was able to extinguish the destructive flame, and someone could not defeat it.
Women are very affected by men’s attacks of jealousy. True, some ladies are even sometimes offended that their lover does not have feelings of jealousy. In their opinion, jealousy is an indicator of falling in love.
In fact, they are not quite right. A man in love, if he is sure of himself, he will not think to be jealous of his beloved. Although… I wouldn’t say that with a 100% guarantee. Some men are jealous for fear of losing the one they love. And he may be sure of himself a thousand times over, but he can’t get rid of his jealousy attacks.
The definition of jealousy will leave for another topic, but here we look at the signs that will help us to understand that a man is jealous.
Signs by which we can see that a man is jealous
As a rule, it is not easy to hide these attacks of jealousy. In any case, you can always notice how the behavior of your loved one has changed dramatically, if he suddenly decided to be jealous of his girlfriend. For details about why a man is jealous, read our article.
Here are just a few factors:
- control over the actions of his beloved. The man suddenly begins to call frequently for work, calling even when the woman returns home. He is very nervous and angry if at least one call is not answered. And, at home, when the woman is in his sight, his interest in her fades. Nevertheless, while having dinner or watching TV together, the man will find out if you have any new employees at work, which of your colleagues are married, who is not, whether your unmarried girlfriends do not want to meet and sit with you in a cafe and so on. Gradually, such conversations will become a habit and will be too similar to the daily reports. And the slightest evasion of the answers will be taken with great offense. To avoid this happening, you need to tell your loved one really interesting stories that happened at work, ask him about his case;
- The memory of “gone love. Some men ask their sweetheart to tell them about the men with whom she once had a relationship. A word of advice to women-never tell your real man about the men from your past life. Never! No guy can forget that his beloved once suffered for another. the best answer is evasive: “I never loved anybody like I loved you! I forgot about them. And cut off any attempt to find out about your past. All that was, gone. Now you have a new life. Otherwise, these memories can turn into paranoia.
- Infringement on your wife’s freedom. It happens that the wife does not want to go to a party without her husband or vice versa. There is nothing wrong with that. But when a man himself forbids his beloved to attend events without his person, this is not a good sign. Class reunion night, a meeting with classmates, hen night – these are such small parties where a woman can be without her lover. And if the young man does not understand this, prohibits it, arranges a scandal, then you should think seriously. In such a situation there are two ways out, either the woman asserts her right and everything goes on normally, or she forever loses the right to control her time and freedom;
- The choice of friends. Yes, it happens that the husband or wife does not like any of the friends of the spouse. But this can easily be explained (drinking a lot, behaving indecently, likes to go out, etc.) But if the husband’s ban applies not just to one, and for a number of people, this is a serious manifestation of jealousy. For example, her husband forbids not just friends, and even talk to any member of the male sex, or his unmarried girlfriends, and even if he is ready to cause a scandal with a fight just because you nodded at someone in the street. With such a man will be difficult to build further relationships;
- High resentment. Jealous men constantly find a reason to be offended. Not as affectionate tone, his beloved not so often look at him, someone she looks more affectionate and so on. These insults very soon, not just annoying but infuriating. Jealous man wants to take all the time the woman he loves, wants to be not just for her first place, but the only one. Friends, relatives, work, hobbies, everything should not just step back into the background, and completely disappear from the life of your loved one. With this need to fight.
Jealousy – a very strong feeling. And it is not always a sign of love. Very often jealousy is just a sense of ownership. My favorite woman, and let her have only what I allow.
Is it worth it to live with this – an individual decision for each girl or woman. We just told you how to understand that a man is jealous.
But what to do if an ex-boyfriend or husband is jealous? About this and not only in our next article!