How to understand how a man treats you: the signs of feelings
Philologist, copywriter, Internet marketer. I read at least two books a month, I want more.
Expert – Margarita Lopukhova
Family psychologist. I have been saving “family units” from collapse for 8 years. I help couples regain love and understanding.
Men – the creatures to the extreme secretive. And they especially do not like to show their feelings, because it makes them vulnerable. So if you want to understand a man’s feelings, you should immediately adjust to the fact that you have to be both a psychologist and a spy.
How not to make a mistake: the simple signs of a man’s real attitude towards a woman
In fact, men prefer to show their feelings not by words, but by deeds, especially since they think that in this way their sympathy is less noticeable, so in order to check the male feelings, you can, for example, ask the one whom you suspect in the sympathy, to help you, preferably at some inconvenient time like on weekends. A man in love will agree to anything, because it will give him an opportunity to show himself at his best in your eyes.
Also help identify attitudes and less obvious manifestations of care – for example, a representative of the stronger sex to hold the door, help take off your coat and so on. But here it is important to show your spy skills and watch how he treats other girls – there is a possibility that this is just politeness.
In addition, some catfishermen who read the same articles behave in this way, so there is a risk of falling for the tricks of an unscrupulous man. But unfortunately, it always exists.
What definitely does not lie is body language – even the most confident seducers can not fully control themselves. So if during a conversation the body of the interlocutor is turned to you, but the toes of his shoes look in the opposite direction, most likely, he is not really interested in you. But if the toes of his shoes are turned in your direction, it indicates the maximum attention. Also, you should keep an eye on his feet when one is thrown to the other – in case the interlocutor was interested in the toes of his shoes again directed to him.
When a man in the presence of a woman begins to adjust her hair and clothes, this is actually quite telling: the male representatives really are generally indifferent to their appearance, so the attention that he shows may indicate feelings for you – everyone wants to look more attractive in front of the beloved woman.
Love, not love: the bitter truth about feelings
It’s no surprise that you have a hard time accepting the truth about his true attitude – no one wants to understand that he’s not loved. Sometimes your heart doesn’t seem to be in the right place, but all of a sudden it really just seems. In order to accept the cruel “it doesn’t seem”, you have to convince yourself of that. Remove the rose-colored glasses can be painful, but still do it is absolutely necessary.
So, what are the signs of dislike that are easy to spot? The most obvious is when the man himself declares it, indirectly or directly. He may warn you not to fall in love with him or talk about the most tender feelings – but none of this is about love. If that’s what’s important to you in a relationship, it’s worth distracting yourself and looking for someone more suitable.
Cheating is, of course, a clear sign of faded or absent feelings, because a man will not cheat on the woman he loves – there is no other woman in the world, why should he have sex with someone he doesn’t know? He may even try to keep you, talking about the polygamy of all members of the stronger sex without exception, but this only means that he is comfortable with you. So in this case there is nothing complicated about how to understand how a man treats you: if he cheats, there is no love at all.
A man may even talk about love, but, as mentioned above, his actions are more eloquent. For example, if a young man compares his girlfriend with others not in her favor without remorse – can this speak of any good feelings? Or if he is not burning desire to get acquainted with her close friends – and with their own does not introduce? All of this, unfortunately, is a sign that he does not have feelings, no matter how much you talk yourself into the opposite.
A man who doesn’t call, keep promises, or make your life easier is just a user who, for whatever reason, now wants to take advantage of you. So get a grip and send him on his way.
Why situational awareness is important
Because women do tend to wear rose-colored glasses, and some even superglue them to themselves. They can, on the one hand, see things about a cute guy that aren’t there, but on the other hand, they can overlook the obvious. If you don’t want to get into trouble and find yourself in a difficult situation, being able to determine a man’s true attitude towards his person is very important, regardless of whether he likes you or, on the contrary, doesn’t like you at all.
So turn on the psychologist, bring out the spy – and go in search of your happiness, which is likely very close. And learn to cut off the unnecessary – it will come in handy. Arm yourself in advance by learning how to understand that a man is in love, but hides his feelings in our article at the link.
How to understand a man’s attitude towards you: is it serious or not
If you are now instantly reminded of the cartoon “Investigation leads Koloboks” – jokes aside. We are not going to call you to the track of a private detective investigating personal interests. Our focus on the important hidden meaning of your loved one’s behavior will be placed in another niche.
It’s simpler than it looks.
All the bicycles, or many of them, in the practical psychology of relationships between the opposite sexes have long since been invented. While you’re puzzled and mentally guessing on a daisy: love, not love. Experts have already found the answers.
No matter how ironically you did not relate to the ability of psychologists on the body language, facial expressions, “mask” on his face, which you are so in love with, words, phrases, randomly escaped, to verdict on how much love you man, here all skepticism is inappropriate.
Just like you, your new, or mysteriously did not express his emotions old beau (we are not talking about his age) involuntarily still gives himself every second and every day. Take the signs you’ve already learned to a tee, you’ll understand everything without his words or confessions. Ready? Then we begin to “guess”, yes “magic”.
10 steps to unraveling
We are not going to make a long antimonium, we will try to present everything to you in an accessible language without boring terms. A scientific approach to the given problem has revealed 10 fragments of men’s behavior that clearly indicate the fact: you are loved or at least very interesting to this subject, he is subconsciously going to make your relationship long, strong, serious, promising for you.
How do you recognize a relationship that isn’t serious?
Bright and subtle signs of his choice in your favor may not all be present, appear not every minute, to replace one another, so that no hasty conclusions for 1 day of observation, you will not get. The term of the final summary may stretch, so patience and tact to help you, we begin listing the psychological “clues”.
Non-verbal body signals
A little bit swagger, this kind of imposing pose on a date at a restaurant, nightclub, cafe, the calmness in the transport, subway, train, slowness in the office, when you discuss a business project, a joyful complacency by the fire, if you spend time with friends at a picnic.
At the same time his feet casually parted at a decent distance, his hands gesticulate, “live a separate life”, accompanying the words with his movements, his feet “look” at you – congratulations. He is fascinated, has already pulled out “Cupid’s arrows” from his shoulder bag, “hunting” and at the same time lets you know – I am open to you, I am not hiding anything, fascinated and not even hiding it.
His posture while sitting seems tense, his legs are brought together, like a barnacle in an extreme miniskirt, his hands are discreetly “silent,” his feet are “looking around” on the principle: where to run away – there is no need to explain anything. You are not the woman of his dreams, he did not disappear because of his good upbringing and patience.
Facial Mimicry
The first “mark” that your vis-a-vis is clearly indifferent to his girlfriend – dilated pupils during a conversation with you. Cases of alcohol and drug intoxication we do not even consider, such a comrade you are not a pair, and the whole picture “washed out” because of his psychological inadequacy.
“Our man” is healthy and not inclined to bad habits, and therefore his large pupils are good for us, this prankster dopamine has already penetrated the blood and gives away his hidden “hot” emotional attitude towards you outward. For a clean “experiment,” take your admirer into a bright room or outside in the sun. Are his pupils still huge? Yay, he’s probably already ours!
“Experiments” with pupil observation are a double trap. If you yourself are in love and haven’t yet admitted it, your pupils also give you away headfirst. Don’t stress right away, please, this trump card is only good for you. We do not know how, but men such women “sketch” in a jiffy, immediately there is born in their souls attraction and reciprocal interest. So do not try to hide your eyes behind dark glasses of sunglasses.
Another sign of falling in love on the part of a man is the “surges” of testosterone, causing increased salivation. Your partner on a date constantly coughs saliva, licks parched lips, smiling “Guinplen smile”, showing you all his 32 teeth, raising his eyebrows raised high – ready, our dear friend, he is in captivity of your charms, which is already undoubtedly.
Eye to eye and hand to hand
Your boyfriend, heartfelt friend, potential suitor provoking any tactile touch with you is another ball in the winner’s hole. Even better if he also likes to look you in the eye for a long time. Vaughn Joan Kellerman, a famous American psychologist, generally made couples feel attracted to each other after a funny experience:
Stand in front of them, hold hands, look at each other for a few minutes without taking your eyes off the person in the bunch, and that’s it. There were some people who found each other right in the middle of this experiment and stayed together for a long time.
Observe quietly whether your companion unwittingly tries to reduce the distance between you when you are not alone. Dilute your pair for a while the occasional fellow traveler, a participant in the conversation, and he all bursts to restore the “status quo” and close to you to be. In this case, write down one more sure sign of his love in the piggy bank.
The remaining “magnificent” seven evidence of his interest will be even more brief:
- He listens to and hears you, quickly remembers what kind of coffee, what cakes you prefer, recognizes your favorite perfume, hiding in his head information that is important to you and time to extract them from there if necessary;
- does not get tired of telling you nice, exciting things, is not stingy with compliments, sincere in his admiration of your dress, hairstyle, choice of book, movie, play, exhibition, the total coursework, the design project at work, while not deceiving and allows himself soft, tactful criticism, if necessary and help you not to make mistakes;
- Constantly asks you about all sorts of little things, cute and not so habits, predilections, dreams, hobbies, passions, carefully stores all this information on unknown to you “shelves”, and then wisely uses it in the form of gifts, signs of attention, purposeful participation in some case, when you were not expecting help;
- His plans for the coming days and even months include your presence: plans for vacations, travel plans, meetings with friends, entertainment events he can not think without you, and if he leaves on a business trip or on personal business, he prefers to be aware of what you are busy, concerned in his absence, trying if possible, to be in touch, even if he went to conquer Mount Everest or descended on the bathyscaphe to the ocean depths;
- On dates and other formats of meetings with you warns in advance, not a couple of hours, and during previous communication, not turning you into a “boot call” – “played flesh”, and here you are on the catch, loving, naive young lady, ready for anything at once, the highest rating – calls and messages from noon to 5 pm, so believe psychologists: he patiently waited until the right time and took into account that you can be busy;
- easily and naturally, as if it were necessary, he introduces you to people close to him: relatives, friends, colleagues, along with you a little worried about how the communication will go, all support you in the beginning, until you get to his circle, while not ignoring and not criticizing “your people”, even if some of your friends or relatives could not help correcting the behavior in his presence;
- even trivial things like going for a walk with your dog when you’re sick, medicine for your mom at the drugstore next door to his house, going to your little brother’s sporting event together, and then a friendly visit together to an ice cream parlor, and also his constant: bored, waiting, preparing, thinking in dialogue with you.
All this is much more proof of his interest than an expensive bouquet of flowers, a prestigious souvenir from Europe with a famous label after a business trip, the offer to “walk” in Paris or Rome for a couple of days to quench “our sexual hunger with you, think at your leisure over this. And we leave you to dot your i’s, after all you’ve heard from us.
