How to survive a divorce man: psychologist advice
Psychologist’s tips, what a man should do in a divorce, and what not to do. How to find peace and restore equilibrium. What to do, if there is a child, how to behave, if the wife is set on a conflict
Every second couple files for divorce. It doesn’t matter what the reason for the disagreement was. Both partners experience the pain of loss in different ways. Men hide their emotions, women more often show contrived success and enjoyment of life.
How a man will survive a divorce with his wife advise psychologists. Not forums, not a tipsy company of friends, and a qualified specialist.
Communication and socialization
Getting married, men often give up the usual circle of friends, acquaintances. But after a divorce, it is possible to restore relationships, make contacts, and renew old friendships.
If women find it easier to go through the pain alone, for men the best remedy is communication. What else will help ease the pain:
- New acquaintances;
- a change of scenery;
- a vacation in nature;
- meeting with friends;
- heart-to-heart talks;
Contrary to popular belief, guys are better off staying away from relatives at such times. Relatives, loved ones are more likely to take the side of the ex-wife, certainly remind her of her. To leave fresh wounds alone, it is better to go on vacation with friends.
Recommendations on how to survive a man’s divorce may seem strange to girls. After all, they are used to savor emotions, feelings, indulge in depression, longing. This helps them to let go of negative experiences. Men manage to do this much faster after divorce.
Work and a new schedule
Dive into professional activities with your head – one of the best options to avoid depression, to overcome the shock of a divorce gently. A temporary business trip will help refresh your thoughts, distract yourself, change the environment. If a man is already hard through a divorce, the new blow could affect the ability to work.
It is useful to change the field of activity, to try your hand in a new area. Putting all your strength into your work, it is hard to think about something else. Loosen the grip can be loosened as soon as the thought of your former spouse will stop causing you pain.
Simple rules to get through the divorce was easier
A man should observe some responsibilities that will help not escalate the conflict:
- If the ex-wife is pushing for conflict, it’s best to step aside.
- Treat friends and relatives of the ex-wife correctly.
- Establish a civilized communication without mutual recriminations, accusations.
- Do not take decisions in the heat of the moment.
- Do not enter into a new relationship immediately after a rift.
- Express your anger, resentment and hatred in a different way, not touching your ex-wife.
Tip: Man must remain himself, to keep his cool, even if the lover is behaving very improperly. She is ruled by anger, resentment, which will soon dry up.
What to do if there is a child
As long as a man is going through a divorce, so long is the litigation with the child. Psychologists believe that the situation of a joint baby depends directly on the emotional mood of the parents. Women often set their sons, daughters against her ex-husband, refuse a civilized communication, forbid a man to see his children.
Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash
In this situation, it’s best to step back, give her a chance to breathe out, calm down, and look at the situation with a cool head. After that you can take action. The child should communicate with his father, a sensible woman will not refuse a parent to do so. But the situation often turns in the opposite direction, when you have to seek visits through the courts.
3 Ways to Get Over the Pain Quickly
Men go through divorce in the same way, only the intensity of emotions differs. But suffering can be alleviated in three ways:
- Fill all free time with work, hobbies, hobbies, meetings with friends. Try not to be alone with your thoughts.
- Be sure to change the environment, go on vacation. This will refresh your head, put your thoughts in order.
- Accept the fact of the divorce and come to terms with what has happened. The most difficult stage, but its overcoming is indispensable.
How to cope with anger and spite
Negative emotions are bound to come to the surface. It is not right to pour them out on your ex-spouse, her friends, relatives. This will lead to new conflicts, exacerbate difficult relations, aggravate the situation. Leveling out the negativity will help:
- Active sports;
- a new hobby;
- work with a psychologist;
- proper rest;
- keeping a diary.
It is harder for those men who are going through a divorce. They cannot share their feelings, talk about pain and anger. Until the last hold the negative, and then commit a number of irreparable errors:
- quickly find a new relationship;
- they give in to bad habits;
- Write angry posts about their spouse on social networks;
- snapping at the children.
Getting over a divorce can be difficult. But it is important to stop living in the past in time, and learn to enjoy life again.
Support of friends and work with a psychologist will relieve depression and stress. New work and hobbies will help detach from negative emotions, and rest will refresh your thoughts. A man must pull himself together and start a new life, without fear of experiencing pain again.
Hi! I am the founder and also the psychologist of the Discovery Center. With us you will change your life – just ask for help!
Previous comments (12)
I FEEL VERY BAD ABOUT MY DIVORCE-THE SECOND REASON WE HAVE A YOUNG SON!!! I THINK THE CHILD SHOULD HAVE A FATHER, NOT A WEEKEND DADDY!!!
I totally agree, the child should have a father, I have two daughters and a father is just necessary, the truth is in my life, my wife’s in-laws limited my development as a father, everywhere I had to be I was her father or mother, father-in-law. Fucking cheese, to succeed as a father and was not given, a divorce happened, and now I was no longer needed, a little wand, allowing the wife to be sure that I was not needed, although she says that the feelings remained
I’m 22 and my wife wants a divorce I do not know what to do, I want to be a family, raise my daughter, and she drives me to earn money I almost do not see my child very much afraid that my daughter will soon forget me what to do next I do not know
I went through this song with earnings, ended up with 2 children and a divorce, and for 6 years I pulled everything, mortgages, loans, vacations, etc….. and in the end they got sick of me, fell out of love and ended up divorcing me. No money is worth losing your family. Don’t fall for it, at first everything will seem fine, and then they’ll get used to it without you and won’t need you anymore. Not all of them understand the fact that if a man is constantly at work it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be with his family, many try to shield the family from financial problems by all means and types of earnings. They just chop off the shoulder since you’re not around most of the time and don’t understand your support and actions. Many of them may not understand that life is expensive and nothing is given for free, you have to pay everywhere and for everything, and to pay and not live on the last you have to work, work. Then when they are left alone with all the household and financial problems they will realize it and probably understand…. but you will be pressed more not this is not understanding from her side, and the fact that you will see your child even less, if at all will see. Again, don’t fall for the extra income, you’ll lose your family.
How do I help my husband through our divorce? I want us to keep a good relationship, I do not limit contact with my children. My relatives treat him well. I just do not want to be his wife. No hard feelings against him. What was, what was. I feel like the rest of his life depends on me.
I never thought that I would get to forums……. I will start to study the problem. like all divorce I have, gentlemen))) but the problem is that there is a child and I really want to see him. from August of that year we lived like a cat with a dog (I traveled a lot for work in the Russian Federation) earned money as they say and all ate the crown virus….. on this ground and it happened….. It came to the point that after a year of listening to my wife’s reproaches, even those that she began to speculate in his head, I came to the conclusion that we are separately better than together. Now I sit here filling out divorce papers and hear from her well I would have nagged you on until you did not file I did not want the relatives think that I am to blame for the divorce, so I filed papers I….. it’s funny, I’ve been trying to make things work for a year and it turns out everything was for nothing, and I can’t say that I have a grudge against her … I feel sorry for the baby….
The main thing is not to drag it out. I’ve been patient for a long time. Now I am fifty and need to rent an apartment and start living from scratch. The reason is the lack of love and respect in the family. And my son is against me. All my life I have been drinking, smoking and working like an ass, but if there is no love, then nothing will work. I feel sorry for my son. All these scandals really traumatized the kid.
I also went through a divorce and it was not like that when I moved out of the apartment and decided to leave it to her and the kids and on the same day she brought a man. I feel terrible, and the kids will see her with whom she got into trouble.
I have the same situation, I have been married for eight years. My daughter is 11 years old and my son is 7. I ruined everything on my own, the sum total is that I found a man. At first she said that she just cannot, then I found out that there is a man and she is all there. Believed her a lot. Now I do not know how to go on, left it all. I left because she made it very clear that the end. Not a day has passed since she put this man to the children. My daughter is crying, saying she does not want him, but she imposes him on her. On top of that he said that you will see the children three times a month, hiding behind the fact that he is worried about the children’s psyche. I do not know how to help.
My wife gave me just a fabulous gift on New Year’s Eve. She said that she lived with me for money, told her 16-year-old daughter that she did not love her, wants a younger husband and a new baby (apparently also younger), filed for divorce and went to Moscow to a man she met and fell in love with, while the divorce lasted (only a month). I was left to live alone with my daughter, whom I love madly. I’m just afraid that her new chosen one is a crook and his goal is to get more money out of her and I’m afraid that somehow it may affect my daughter. The ex-wife is already demanding to sell the apartment and give her a third of the money from the sale.
You can see that it was written by a woman. Almost everything written in the article is bullshit!
All the comments are just the writings of young psychologists. No more
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Hello, Veronica. From your message, we can conclude that you are a creative person, because you are seriously interested in art.
Hello Elmira. First of all you need to think and answer for yourself some questions: Do you love your husband? What n.
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How to get over a divorce man
Divorce does not go away without a trace for either a woman or a man. It is a difficult and stressful situation, which entails psychological experiences of varying depth. For some reason, most often advice on the topic of divorce concerns women or children. But the authors of these tips somehow forget about men. And yet the stronger sex are no less sensitive to such a significant change in their habitual way of life. If you are concerned about how to survive a divorce man and overcome the feeling of loneliness, then in our material you will find some tips.
Life’s difficulties a man tends to overcome with his spouse. In his other half, he often seeks approval and support. And after parting man is left alone with their problems and worries. Women more easily than men endure divorce, as they communicate with relatives, friends or see a psychologist. Men often withdraw into themselves, limiting the circle of communication, so as not to feel guilty and miserable in the eyes of others.
How a man to survive a divorce
Most often, the husband believes that his wife depends on him financially. This belief boosts his self-confidence and gives a sense of indispensability. The divorce process destroys these idealized ideas about himself. The man experiences loss of dignity, he may have uncontrollable emotions: anger, anger, aggression, despair, depression.
Consider ways a man can survive a divorce from his wife:
- Realize the inevitability of what happened. In this situation, it is important to accept and let go of feelings and emotions that connect with your ex-wife. Release accumulated anger, resentment, resentment, frustration. Make an appointment for a psychologist’s consultation – a specialist will help sort yourself out, find inner resources for stability and balance.
- Get rid of things that remind you of your ex-partner. If you have a leftover birthday shirt, feel free to give it to someone else or throw it away. There is no place for memories that bring pain and disappointment in your new life.
- Take care of yourself. Pay attention to your appearance: update your closet, visit a hairdresser, change your image. Start with external changes that will lead to internal transformations.
- Hobbies and sports. Daily exercise will help you stay in shape and get rid of intrusive thoughts about former relationships. If you have a hobby, take it up. Hunting, fishing, billiards will help cope with loneliness and socializing with like-minded people.
- Take care of your health and well-being. Divorce is stressful for the body. Pay attention to yourself and your physical and mental condition. Go to the gym, change your diet, find a balance between work and rest.
- Do not think about revenge. Forgive your ex-spouse, do not look for a reunion and do not try to return. Live a new life, think about yourself and your needs.
Typical mistakes men make after divorce:
- Anger and anger. If the reason for the breakup was the infidelity of the spouse, the man experiences negative emotions toward her and his rival. Being able to control yourself and your experiences will help restore mental balance. But it is important to understand that anyone has a right to any emotion. It is important to experience them correctly and find the strength not to get stuck in these feelings for a long time, but to move on.
How much a man goes through a divorce
The divorce process is a difficult period in the lives of both spouses. The feelings and experiences of the male representatives depend on different factors:
- Who was the initiator of the divorce – the spouse or himself;
- the presence of children;
- the division of property, business;
- the presence of a mistress (there is where and whom to go);
- the attitude to the divorce of relatives and close friends.
If the man initiated the separation, his psychological state will come to normal faster than if the perpetrator of the separation was his wife. The partner needs time to realize the situation of the divorce and to accept the new status. There is no single answer to the question, “How long does a man go through a divorce? Some after the dissolution of the marriage experience euphoria, they are overwhelmed by a feeling of freedom and the desire to start a new life. Others – painful to a change of scenery, moving, loneliness, prone to depression, alcohol dependence, promiscuity, suicidal thoughts.
How to stop controlling your partner and build a trusting relationship, read the article: “Feelings of jealousy towards your partner: how to get rid of him.
Tips for men who have gone through a divorce
It happens that the ladies are easier than men to cope with the emotions that arose as a result of the separation. It often happens that because of the stress of the stronger sex spend too much money on hobbies or alcohol, their health deteriorates. How to survive a divorce man – psychologist’s tips :
- Expanding the circle of communication.
- Professional activities.
- Sports and hobbies.
- New relationships.
- Communication with a child.
- Maintaining a friendly relationship with his ex-wife.
Here are some simple rules that will help answer the question, “How a man easier to survive a divorce:
- If communication with your ex-wife is inevitable, do not take part in the conflict, control emotions and feelings;
- Interact calmly with your ex-partner’s friends and relatives;
- do not rush to start a new relationship – psychological recovery will take time.
Expanding the circle of communication
Marriage limits the communication of partners, most often they communicate within the family and with close relatives. Previous contacts are cut off. After a divorce, a man can make contacts and restore former friendships. New acquaintances, joint recreation and conversations will help to switch from gloomy thoughts to positive, and get a charge of energy and vivacity.
After a divorce, it is recommended to pay attention to work and career. If your spouse was against moving abroad, then use this opportunity, as no one interferes with self-realization. Going on business trips will help you change your surroundings, unwind and distract yourself. A change in the field of activity will bring new experiences and achievements.
Sports and Hobbies
Pay attention to your health. Sign up for a gym, start jogging, do push-ups, pump your abs. Use your free time with health benefits. Find like-minded people, don’t withdraw into yourself. During conversations, try to avoid the topic of separation and discussion of the personality of the spouse. Engage in a hobby. Hobbies help you shift your attention and look at the situation from a different perspective.
Some men after a divorce try to forget themselves with another woman. The rapid change of partner will lead to a comparison of the new partner with the former lover, often not in favor of the first. Some men try to “make up” for the years of marriage, which leads to promiscuous sexual relations. This position will not help to forget the ex-partner, but will lead to feelings of guilt and remorse. A new relationship should be started when time has passed, the memories of the relationship with the former lover will not cause vivid emotions: anger, anger, resentment or revenge.
Communication with the child
For full development, the baby must communicate with the father. After a divorce, women often do not allow the ex-spouse to visit the child, and sometimes even set him up negatively towards him. If the child is young, the wife may limit visits with the father. The teenager is already capable of deciding for himself what is best for him and with whom to communicate. In any case, communication with children will bring positive emotions and help to dispel.
Maintaining friendly relations with your ex-wife
Divorce is not a reason to stop partners’ communication with each other. Spouses may share a child, pets or business. Friendly relationships make it easier to get permission to see children. Separation and fading feelings should not affect the conduct of joint business, so a mutually beneficial solution will be friendship.
Favorable family relationships bring joy and pleasure in communicating with a partner. Negative emotions and resentment accompany a “toxic relationship.” Useful tips can be gleaned from the video: “How to distinguish love from addiction? ” .