How to learn not to worry and be calm
Calmness and inner equilibrium keep us healthy, both psychologically and physically. Successfully resisting stress is an important function for the modern person. The question of how to learn not to worry about anything is especially acute for those who live in the rhythm of big cities. This is where the level of nervous tension grows higher and higher during the day. It is important to be able to withstand all the negative factors to prevent the complete destruction of the nervous system.
Why do we worry?
The root of excessive susceptibility to what is happening is due to various reasons. Psychologists identify several main sources:
Frequent exposure to stress in childhood and adolescence.
Excessive parental care, which does not allow the development of defense mechanisms.
Genetic predisposition to low stress tolerance.
A constant negative atmosphere at home, at work and with friends.
What does stress lead to?
Anxiety and constant stress make a person unable to control his or her own life at a sufficient level. To this are added other unpleasant consequences.
A tendency to use substances that can make one temporarily forget that you have a problem. This can be alcohol, specific medications, excessive smoking.
Loss of life goals. Fear of failure makes you give up on your plans, implementation of ideas.
The development of chronic fatigue provokes the appearance of various diseases, which the body does not have the strength to fight.
The brain, overworked by the processing of constant stresses, loses its tone and capacity for work.
Irritation and discomfort
When we are nervous, we begin to get lost; when we get lost, we get nervous. This vicious circle must be able to break. Make it a habit to breathe deeply whenever irritation strikes. This will help you calm down quickly enough to make good decisions.
Pay attention to yoga. This activity is designed to provide inner harmony, and just what it lacks in people exposed to stress. A few dozen minutes a day, and you are quite able to control their emotions and easily escape from discomfort. Breathing techniques, correct postures and thoughts – all aimed at enabling you to find absolute calm.
Sorting out and analyzing fears
To get rid of the constant worries that are so annoying on a daily basis, you need to do a tremendous amount of work on yourself. If you don’t do this, you will not only hinder your life, but also those around you. What to live without worrying and without wasting a lot of energy on stress, learn to deal with all their fears. Divide them into two lists: solvable and unsolvable.
Let’s start with solvable problems. If you understand that with proper effort you can easily cope with them, then do not waste your nerves worrying about it. Now let’s deal with the other list. Ask yourself the question, can I change anything? And if the answer is no, then stop worrying about what does not depend on you.
Do not lose sight of the conditions and circumstances of your childhood. That’s where most of your problems lie. An increased susceptibility to stress is an echo of an overly low self-esteem that was formed at an early age.
In figuring out how not to worry about everything, try to learn that everyone has the right to make mistakes. No one will reproach or punish you for doing something wrong. Let go of the experience of childhood and live now, as an adult, an established person.
Live without looking back.
So you don’t have to look for any extra tricks or worry about anything at all, learn to live for today. Remember that our past is far behind us, those events will never touch us again. It’s very important to realize the abstractness of those times and stop clinging to them.
The same advice applies to the future. The situation you envision may never happen. You won’t know it until you try something. But if you constantly fear failure, failure, and judgment, you will never be able to exist happily in the present. What surrounds you every day is your life.
Don’t feel sorry for yourself.
Quite a few people at the first manifestation of fatigue drop their hands and begin to complain as much as possible about their problems. This behavior results in discouragement and insecurity that consume you completely. Self-compassion is the body’s response to any effort. Under no circumstances should self-pity be allowed to manifest in you in any way.
It is necessary to firmly believe that you can cope with all the tasks and arising issues. It is worth to force yourself not to be distracted by momentary impulses. Believe me, it’s worth only to divert attention from the irritant, it almost immediately ceases to have any influence on you.
Do not invent problems
Many people tend to inflate the simple obstacle into a pile of insurmountable problems. As a result, even for the simplest of solutions, they are looking for advice and help. From this suffers from the development of self-esteem and independence. Such people do not know how to set goals, or go to them. Inert and passive, for them life becomes dull and dull.
There is no need to try to find additional tricks in every situation. Excessive thinking leads to the fact that the brain begins to give you the most negative scenario of the situation. As a result, you take it for reality and already set up for failure in advance.
Remember about your innate peculiarities
We are all different, and our nervous system also works differently. Some have a good stress tolerance from nature, and some genetics has not awarded such a bonus. Some of us are more prone to depression and apathy, others – to the emergence of fears and anxiety, and others are constantly irritated and can not control their emotions. Observe yourself, which reaction is more typical of you, and then you will understand what exactly you need to work with.
How to get out of a stressful situation
When you are severely stressed, it seems that such a state can consume you for a long time. Believe me, this is absolutely not the case. There are a few simple techniques that allow you to get rid of the unpleasant influence of stimuli.
Turn your thoughts in a positive direction. The cause of your stress should be presented in a funny, even ridiculous way.
Take a break for 5 minutes. Walk away from the source of stress for a while. This will give you a chance to breathe calmly and pull yourself together.
Don’t raise your voice. As much as you may want to yell, just when you’re in a stressful situation, stay calm. You can yell and blow off steam later, when you’re alone.
Promise yourself a reward for endurance and patience. Expecting an imminent goodie or an upgrade will set you up for a calmer and more peaceful mood.
Do you get enough days off, but you still feel tired and broken? Then you don’t know how to fully relax and let go of all the problems. Arrange yourself a day of rest, observing a few simple conditions.
Change the usual scenario of your day off. At work, ask for a whole day off in the middle of the week, send the children to visit relatives or hire a babysitter. Changes should apply to the style of recreation. If you are accustomed to a weekend at home – go out of town. Inveterate travelers on the contrary will be useful to be at home.
Wake up not on the alarm clock, and when you want. After awakening take a relaxing bath.
Find yourself pleasant company for morning coffee or tea. Remember, such moments help to fight stress well.
Treat yourself to a delicious meal, which you can both order and prepare yourself.
Change your daily routine
How not to worry about anything during the day? Very simple, add to your usual schedule a few nice moments. This will help you distract yourself and get a good dose of positive emotions. They will help you cope with almost any stress.
Breakfast should be delicious. Yogurt, natural, chocolate with tea, oatmeal with honey and dried fruits – no matter what you start your day with, as long as it brings you a feeling of happiness.
Don’t skip your exercise, it gives you vigor and strength to withstand stress all day long.
Learn to distract yourself from unpleasant situations. At such times, think about what brings you to peace.
In especially difficult situations, look at the flowing water. No river nearby? Not a problem, just a water tap is enough.
Write down your fears on a paper. And then just tear it up and throw it away. Imagine that together with scraps you throw away your problems.
It’s easy to live a stress-free life.
We can’t help but worry about people who are close enough to us. But we are able to learn not to bring those worries to full-blown stress and nervous breakdowns. Living without the pernicious effects of negativity is very simple, you only need to follow a few nice rules for this.
Arrange for daily walks in the fresh air, it will give an opportunity to relax, the main thing to let yourself only pleasant thoughts.
Take up any kind of sport. This will strengthen your body and improve your self-esteem.
Be sure to organize a proper rest. Even if the schedule is too busy, it should find a place for a break.
No need to try to resemble anyone else. Remember that you are an individual and a special person, who has a lot of advantages. Trying to inherit someone else’s actions and decisions means a complete loss of your individuality. It will never lead you to your desired goals. It will only make you more agitated and irritable.
Determine for yourself what you want to achieve and set a time frame for doing so. This will help you become more focused and clear about what results you want. But at the same time remember that your time limit is not rigid, it’s approximate and should not make you unnecessarily nervous.
Know how to prioritize
Life consists of important and secondary issues and tasks. You need to be able to figure out what is most important to you at the moment. This will give you the opportunity not to clutter your head with trivial issues, and accordingly, this source of anxiety will disappear completely. Thanks to this approach, you will greatly keep the inner spirit of success.
Get rid of guilt
There is no need to shift all the responsibility for failure on yourself. Feelings of guilt should be present only when you are really guilty, for example, to a family member or friend. When it comes to any daily or global tasks, then there is a lot of deciding by chance. Learn to dose the feeling of guilt, so that your self-esteem does not suffer.
Help from a professional
If you understand that the usual methods do not help you, and do not worry about the problems more than necessary you can not – trust a psychologist. So you not only learn to control your emotions, but also part with a number of serious problems from the past that could ruin the future.
It is also worth checking the health of the endocrine system and the thyroid gland in general. Failure of the hormonal background negatively affects the stress resistance of the body.
Moreover, you can easily check the level of body protection by DNA study. It will show you how the main “directors” of our emotional state – serotonin, dopamine and noradrenaline – work, and you’ll find out how your body is vulnerable to stress and external stimuli, and most importantly, you’ll understand what to do about it.
A life of constant worry and fear tires you out and exhausts your body. Knowing how to deal with your stress is to ensure a life full of positives. By following the tips in this article, you will greatly increase your resistance to unnecessary frustration.
Don’t forget about the importance of checking your body’s resources as well. Find a knowledgeable endocrinologist and have a consultation with one. The specialists at our center will be happy to help you with the DNA test. We will provide detailed information about how you are prone to irritability and anxiety.
How to stop fidgeting over the little things: effective tips
Constant anxiety prevents you from enjoying life? Sometimes people do not distinguish between contrived and real problems. To worry about the health of relatives, before an important job interview or exam – it’s normal, but to be constantly nervous about minor things – no. Psychologists Mikhail Labkovsky and Alexei Chudochkin tell you how to cope with anxiety.
Remove the causes of the problems
You can and should cope with anxiety in situations where it is manifested excessively. The first and important step in eliminating anxiety is to analyze its causes.
Help your mind separate the reasons for anxiety into real and far-fetched ones. To do this:
- Grab a pen and a piece of paper.
- Make a list of what’s bothering you.
- Across from each problem, write the reasons and analyze them.
Real annoyances have specific causes. Knowing them, immediately begin to solve them. Get rid of contrived problems, reminding yourself that there is no reason for them. So advises to do psychologist Michael Labkovsky. He says that in this way you ease your life and save your nervous system.
Do not pay attention to what does not exist.
We often worry about the problems that are unlikely to appear. People set themselves up for negativity. Think about how likely this or that problem is? If the odds are great, and you can’t influence the outcome, then you shouldn’t worry.
If you return home regularly to check that the iron is off and the faucet is closed, take pictures of them before you go out, as Mikhail Labkovsky advises.
Do you think you are about to lose your job? Ask your manager about it. A good employee won’t get fired, and even if he does, by learning in advance about the impending problem, you can find a new job faster.
Writer Dale Carnegie in How to Stop Worrying and Start Living recommends living today and doing things today.
Learn humility and look at the situation more broadly
Some events cannot be changed or influenced. For example, a careless driver splashed water from a puddle or stepped on white sneakers on the bus. Even imagining these things makes you nervous. Unpleasant, but the fact is that it can not change, so do not worry.
Almost any problem seems insignificant when you look at it on the scale of life. Does an altercation in line or a driver cutting you off at a curve matter? Will you worry about it a month, a year, or five years from now? If not, stop thinking about the little things and focus on the important.
This attitude to the problems will get rid of unnecessary anxiety. Psychotherapist Andrei Kurpatov advises to watch their reactions and give up negative behavioral patterns.
Stop worrying about the opinion of others
Opinion of others – it’s just an opinion. Do not worry about what they think of you, especially if they are strangers who play no role in your life. Most of the time they are busy thinking about themselves, they don’t care about the people around them, their problems, lifestyle and closet.
How long do you think about a random passerby? A second or two? That’s about as much as he thinks about you. Is it worth it to worry about that? The question is rhetorical.
De-stress with physical activity
Physical activity relieves anxiety: Freepick
Getting rid of constant anxiety takes a lot of work on yourself. Visiting a psychologist and meditative techniques get rid of far-fetched fears. In addition, a person can calm down on their own.
Being under stress, it is difficult to listen to the voice of reason. Therefore, first reduce the nervous tension, and then reconsider the attitude towards the stimuli. Physical activity is good for this. Jogging or fitness, swimming or dancing are all both distractions and effectively eliminate anxiety. The fatigue that comes afterwards keeps you from returning to anxiety.
Shift your attention.
How do you quickly calm down when you’re angry or nervous? You need every way to distract yourself. Many people drown out problems with alcohol. This is only a temporary solution that can eventually bring a person down. Get busy: clean the apartment, knock out the carpets, do the laundry. The duller and harder the work, the better.
A busy person has no time to think about the rude, unfair boss or gossip girls giggling behind you. Diverting attention, you will weaken or get rid of feelings of anxiety. Practicing psychologist Alexei Chudochkin recommends switching to communicating with other people to relieve anxiety.
Breathe and meditate
Sometimes there is no time to work on psychological attitudes. Moreover, you can’t just go away to rest when you’re in a stressful situation. Breathing exercises help to calm down here and now.
Saturating the blood with oxygen relieves nervous tension:
- Take a breath for four seconds, then hold your breath for two seconds and exhale the air smoothly.
- Repeat this exercise five times, and the anxiety will go away.
As a daily practice, try meditation. It teaches mindfulness and the ability to cut off all unnecessary thoughts, including anxious ones.
Meditation as a way to combat anxiety: Freepick
Remember to rest.
The nervous system takes on both physical and psychological stress. Over time, it fails, and the first symptoms are apathy and anxiety.
Therefore, if you suddenly became too emotional to failures, a fear of common life situations, people around you, decreased efficiency, take a rest:
- Take a day off, turn off your phone and forget about all commitments for a day or two.
- Take a bath, spend time with friends. Try not to discuss work and politics.
- If you lead a sedentary life, then riding in a kayak, paintball, go-karting will help to reduce nervous tension.
Good sleep and proper nutrition that help to maintain harmony and equilibrium are very important.
Life consists of 10% of circumstances and 90% of how people react to them. Awareness of this greatly improves the quality of life. If a person is insulted, they have a choice whether to feel bad about it or not. Think about it whenever a little thing knocks you out of whack.
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