How to stay calm when stressed?

How to learn not to worry and be calm

Calmness and inner equilibrium keep us healthy, both psychologically and physically. Successfully resisting stress is an important function for the modern person. The question of how to learn not to worry about anything is especially acute for those who live in the rhythm of big cities. This is where the level of nervous tension grows higher and higher during the day. It is important to be able to withstand all the negative factors to prevent the complete destruction of the nervous system.

Why do we worry?

The root of excessive susceptibility to what is happening is due to various reasons. Psychologists identify several main sources:

Frequent exposure to stress in childhood and adolescence.

Excessive parental care, which does not allow the development of defense mechanisms.

Genetic predisposition to low stress tolerance.

A constant negative atmosphere at home, at work and with friends.

What does stress lead to?

Anxiety and constant stress make a person unable to control his or her own life at a sufficient level. To this are added other unpleasant consequences.

A tendency to use substances that can make one temporarily forget that you have a problem. This can be alcohol, specific medications, excessive smoking.

Loss of life goals. Fear of failure makes you give up on your plans, implementation of ideas.

The development of chronic fatigue provokes the emergence of various diseases, which the body does not have the strength to fight.

The brain, overworked by the processing of constant stresses, loses its tone and capacity for work.

Irritation and discomfort

When we are nervous, we begin to get lost; when we get lost, we get nervous. This vicious circle must be able to break. Make it a habit to breathe deeply whenever irritation strikes. This will help you calm down quickly enough to make good decisions.

Pay attention to yoga. This activity is designed to provide inner harmony, and just what it lacks in people exposed to stress. A few dozen minutes a day, and you are quite able to control their emotions and easily escape from discomfort. Breathing techniques, correct postures and thoughts – all aimed at enabling you to find absolute calm.

Sorting out and analyzing fears

To get rid of the constant worries that are so annoying on a daily basis, you need to do a tremendous amount of work on yourself. If you don’t do this, you will not only hinder your life, but also those around you. What to live without worrying and without wasting a lot of energy on stress, learn to deal with all their fears. Divide them into two lists: solvable and unsolvable.

Let’s start with solvable problems. If you understand that with proper effort you can easily cope with them, then do not waste your nerves worrying about it. Now let’s deal with the other list. Ask yourself the question, can I change anything? And if the answer is no, then stop worrying about what does not depend on you.

Childhood traumas

Do not lose sight of the conditions and circumstances of your childhood. That’s where most of your problems lie. An increased susceptibility to stress is an echo of an overly low self-esteem that was formed at an early age.

In figuring out how not to worry about everything, try to learn that everyone has the right to make mistakes. No one will reproach or punish you for doing something wrong. Let go of the experience of childhood and live now, as an adult, an established person.

Live without looking back.

So you don’t have to look for any extra tricks or worry about anything at all, learn to live for today. Remember that our past is far behind us, those events will never touch us again. It’s very important to realize the abstractness of those times and stop clinging to them.

The same advice applies to the future. The situation you envision may never happen. You won’t know it until you try something. But if you constantly fear failure, failure, and judgment, you will never be able to exist happily in the present. What surrounds you every day is your life.

Don’t feel sorry for yourself.

Quite a few people at the first manifestation of fatigue drop their hands and begin to complain as much as possible about their problems. This behavior results in discouragement and insecurity that consume you completely. Self-compassion is the body’s response to any effort. Under no circumstances should self-pity be allowed to manifest in you in any way.

It is necessary to firmly believe that you can cope with all the tasks and arising issues. It is worth to force yourself not to be distracted by momentary impulses. Believe me, it’s worth only to divert attention from the irritant, it almost immediately ceases to have any influence on you.

Do not invent problems

Many people tend to inflate the simple obstacle into a pile of insurmountable problems. As a result, even for the simplest of solutions, they are looking for advice and help. From this suffers from the development of self-esteem and independence. Such people do not know how to set goals, or go to them. Inert and passive, for them life becomes dull and dull.

There is no need to try to find additional tricks in every situation. Excessive thinking leads to the fact that the brain begins to give you the most negative scenario of the situation. As a result, you take it for reality and already set up for failure in advance.

Remember about your innate peculiarities

We are all different, and our nervous system also works differently. Some have a good stress tolerance from nature, and some genetics has not awarded such a bonus. Some of us are more prone to depression and apathy, others – to the emergence of fears and anxiety, and others are constantly irritated and can not control their emotions. Observe yourself, which reaction is more typical of you, and then you will understand what exactly you need to work with.

How to get out of a stressful situation

When you are severely stressed, it seems that such a state can consume you for a long time. Believe me, this is absolutely not the case. There are a few simple techniques that allow you to get rid of the unpleasant influence of stimuli.

Turn your thoughts in a positive direction. The cause of your stress should be presented in a funny, even ridiculous way.

Take a break for 5 minutes. Walk away from the source of stress for a while. This will give you a chance to breathe calmly and pull yourself together.

Don’t raise your voice. As much as you may want to yell, just when you’re in a stressful situation, stay calm. You can yell and blow off steam later, when you’re alone.

Promise yourself a reward for endurance and patience. Expecting an imminent goodie or an upgrade will set you up for a calmer and more peaceful mood.

Day Off

Do you get enough days off, but you still feel tired and broken? Then you don’t know how to fully relax and let go of all the problems. Arrange yourself a day of rest, observing a few simple conditions.

Change the usual scenario of your day off. At work, ask for a whole day off in the middle of the week, send the children to visit relatives or hire a babysitter. Changes should apply to the style of recreation. If you are accustomed to a weekend at home – go out of town. Inveterate travelers on the contrary will be useful to be at home.

Wake up not on the alarm clock, and when you want. After awakening take a relaxing bath.

Find yourself pleasant company for morning coffee or tea. Remember, such moments help to fight stress well.

Treat yourself to a delicious meal, which you can both order and prepare yourself.

Change your daily routine

How not to worry about anything during the day? Very simple, add to your usual schedule a few nice moments. This will help you distract yourself and get a good dose of positive emotions. They will help you cope with almost any stress.

Breakfast should be delicious. Yogurt, natural, chocolate with tea, oatmeal with honey and dried fruits – no matter what you start your day with, as long as it brings you a feeling of happiness.

Don’t skip your exercise, it gives you vigor and strength to withstand stress all day long.

Learn to distract yourself from unpleasant situations. At such times, think about what brings you to peace.

In especially difficult situations, look at the flowing water. No river nearby? Not a problem, just a water tap is enough.

Write down your fears on a paper. And then just tear it up and throw it away. Imagine that together with scraps you throw away your problems.

It’s easy to live a stress-free life.

We can’t help but worry about people who are close enough to us. But we are able to learn not to take those worries to full-blown stress and nervous breakdowns. Living without the pernicious effects of negativity is very simple, you only need to follow a few nice rules for this.

Arrange for daily walks in the fresh air, it will give an opportunity to relax, the main thing to let yourself only pleasant thoughts.

Take up any kind of sport. This will strengthen your body and improve your self-esteem.

Be sure to organize a proper rest. Even if the schedule is too busy, it should find a place for a break.

Be Yourself

No need to try to resemble anyone else. Remember that you are an individual and a special person, who has a lot of advantages. Trying to inherit someone else’s actions and decisions means a complete loss of your individuality. It will never lead you to your desired goals. It will only make you more agitated and irritable.

Life goals

Determine for yourself what you want to achieve and set a time frame for doing so. This will help you become more focused and clear about what results you want. But at the same time remember that your time limit is not rigid, it’s approximate and should not make you unnecessarily nervous.

Know how to prioritize

Life consists of important and secondary issues and tasks. You need to be able to figure out what is most important to you at the moment. This will give you the opportunity not to clutter your head with trivial issues, and accordingly, this source of anxiety will disappear completely. Thanks to this approach, you will greatly keep the inner spirit of success.

Get rid of guilt

There is no need to shift all the responsibility for failure on yourself. Feelings of guilt should be present only when you are really guilty, for example, to a family member or friend. When it comes to any daily or global tasks, then there is a lot of deciding by chance. Learn to dose the feeling of guilt, so that your self-esteem does not suffer.

Help from a professional

If you understand that the usual methods do not help you, and not to worry about the problems more than necessary you can not – trust a psychologist. So you not only learn to control your emotions, but also part with a number of serious problems from the past that could ruin the future.

It is also worth checking the health of the endocrine system and the thyroid gland in general. Failure of the hormonal background negatively affects the stress resistance of the body.

Moreover, you can easily check the level of body protection by DNA study. It will show you how the main “directors” of our emotional state – serotonin, dopamine and noradrenaline – work, and you’ll find out how your body is vulnerable to stress and external stimuli, and most importantly, you’ll understand what to do about it.


A life of constant worry and fear tires you out and exhausts your body. Knowing how to deal with your stress is to ensure a life full of positives. By following the tips in this article, you will greatly increase your resistance to unnecessary frustration.

Don’t forget about the importance of checking your body’s resources as well. Find a knowledgeable endocrinologist and have a consultation with one. The specialists at our center will be happy to help you with the DNA test. We will provide detailed information about how prone you are to irritability and anxiety.

Do not panic, or how to stay calm

Life is full of stress factors, and now there are even more than usual. Viktor Stepanov, corporate psychologist of SKB Kontur, told why we panic in an incomprehensible situation and how to cope with stress and survive this turbulent time.

Why do we panic?

Any unpleasant, potentially dangerous or simply incomprehensible situation always causes a lot of anxiety, that is, stress. This is evolutionary: negative thinking once helped mankind to survive. Imagine an ancient monkey sitting in the bushes – and then a rustle. What is the safest model of behavior for it? Positive – is it a ripe banana falling from a branch, you need to go look, or negative – is it a saber-toothed tiger stealing and you need to run? The pessimists survived more often.

So when things go wrong, it is inherently human to expect bad things. This is normal. Our psyche has a whole arsenal to deal with anxiety and stress. For example, isolation, denial, or rationalization of what is happening (finding reasons why an unpleasant situation might be helpful).

When anxiety is too strong, the slumbering mechanism – “fight or flight” – kicks in. The body prepares for this reaction – the tension is transferred to the muscles. But in modern life, as a rule, it is not clear whom to hit or whom to run away from. And then the only aspiration is to hide, and it doesn’t work. An instant solution is not found. The stress becomes even stronger.

As a result, because of the strong and long stress, sometimes panic sets in. We either freak out, or frantically rush around the room, or go into a stupor and cry, huddled in a corner. The more of these panicking people around, the more panicked we become.

How to deal with stress and panic

Avoid the nocebo effect.

You’ve probably heard of the phenomenon of the placebo, which has a positive effect. So it has an evil twin brother – nocebo. This is the effect of negative expectations: when you are strongly afraid of something, you begin to find signs of it. For example, it has been proven that in clinical trials of drugs, those people who were warned about the possible side effects of the drugs felt them more often than those who were not warned.

During epidemics, the number of these unwitting simulants is sometimes comparable to the number of real patients.

Eliminate negativity

Eliminate all negative information, which is now very much around: in the media, in social networks. In order to learn the news, try to choose neutral sources of information, which have constructive content.

If possible, limit communication with toxic people who call and tell various horror stories or send them in messengers. They panic themselves and infect everyone around them with anxiety – it’s calmer for them.

Try to act the other way around

We have already written that with severe anxiety mechanism “beat or run” and the stress response appears at the level of physiology. If you feel your muscles are tightening, try clenching them even tighter. Hold the maximum tension for 3-5 minutes. Then relax the body and breathe in with your full chest.

When your emotions are running high, just breathe. Shift all your attention to your breathing. Breathe deeply, not superficially, with your abdomen – deep breathing involves the diaphragm. Make a deep breath, having counted, for example, up to four, and then on an exhalation – count up to six-seven. The exhalation must necessarily be longer than the inhalation.

Some people can help to switch over and relax by intensive sports activities, while others, on the contrary, need to lie somewhere in a secluded place.

Uncomplicated physical exercises are good for warming up. Repeat them in a circle, one after another. The whole cycle should go 3-5 times.

Starting position – feet at shoulder width, hands at waist.

1. Stretch the neck: first do left-right turns, then left-right bends. Repeat 5-6 times.

2. Bend your elbows, put your hands to your shoulders and rotate your arms 5-6 times forward, then backward the same number of times. 3.

Bend forward and try to reach the floor (as far as you can). Repeat this five to six times.

4. Bend right-left 5-6 times.

5. Extend your arms forward and do 5-6 squats.

Sometimes plain water helps with panic. Just drink it. Digestion stops when you are stressed, and a few sips of water give the body a signal: everything is fine, you can calm down. Just wetting your mouth is enough to fool stress.

You can try to attack the negativity from the mind. Some people find it helpful to switch to tasks that require maximum concentration. Some people find it useful to imagine what the most undesirable development of the situation might be. Then think about what the likelihood of such a development is and what can be done to avoid it. Is it worth it to worry so much?

Do something pleasant

In a period of strong stress, if possible, eliminate all the things that you don’t like, or for some reason irritate. Try to do more things that you enjoy. Find something that will help you relax: positive emotions displace negative ones. You could reread your favorite book or cook your signature dish. You can have a family tournament of board games, play with your pets, or take care of the flowers that are bored on the windowsill.

To distract from anxious thoughts, you can try the technique of intuitive writing. For 10-15 minutes, write everything that comes into your head, and it’s better on paper. As you would write in a diary – without criticism, without evaluation. You don’t need to reread what you have written.

Draw, knit, color. To distract yourself and restore inner peace, you can use, for example, online coloring books in Norman. During creative activities, the left hemisphere of the brain, which is responsible for analytical work, rests. The creative right hemisphere gets to work. It helps to switch gears.

Also switch can help this harmonizing and, at first glance, quite strange exercise. You will need three sheets of paper and felt pens. Take the felt-tip pen in the leading hand (if you are right-handed, then in the right) and draw circles. Try not to take the marker away from the paper until you finish drawing the circle. Now take another sheet of paper, put the felt-tip pen in your wrong hand (if you are right-handed, then in your left hand) and draw circles again. On the third sheet of paper, draw circles with both hands at the same time.

Control what you can control.

Try to switch to something where you will control the situation. When you’re in control, it instantly gets easier. Plan out the entire week, or better yet, the month. Include not only business, but also hobbies in this plan.

You can make a list of books you want to read, or a list of movies you’ve wanted to watch or review for a long time. You can make a study schedule. Write down what courses you’ve long wanted to take, what topics to learn, what skills to pump up.

Get support.

At a time like this, it’s very important to get support. Someone finds it in communication with loved ones, someone turns to a psychologist, and someone to faith.

There is no one recipe for all. Engage everything around what exactly you feel comfortable and confident.

So, to summarize. The most important thing in a stressful situation – to concentrate on something positive: to eliminate the negative, get support and distractions.

Prepared by Irina Vasilyeva, editor-in-chief of Kontur.normativ

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