How to seduce a married man: strategy and tactics
Professional copywriter with a philological education. I have a wide outlook.
The expert – Margarita Lopukhova
Family psychologist. For 8 years I have been saving “family units” from collapse. I help couples regain love and understanding.
Man – this predator. And not just from a biological point of view. Predatory tendencies also manifest themselves in the desire to conquer what initially does not belong to him. He is also a thief. Because stealing something from under his nose is a holy thing. It is not only men who engage in marital poaching, but women as well. And ladies are much more sophisticated in the forbidden hunting. Over the question of “how to seduce a married man” every second lady was thinking. And every third woman goes hunting.
Each predator has her own reasons and goals. But in order not to have another poacher in her head, she must understand that the man may have his own ideas about the values of the family way of life.
Sex, and nothing personal
Before seducing a married man for sex, the lady must clearly define the boundaries of what is allowed. If all you want from a man is pranks, then you should not allow the violation of emotional boundaries. Sports interest and lovey-dovey are incompatible. So you need to be sure, first of all, in their emotional stability.
There are no special techniques in seducing a married man for sex. Enough sweet coquetry, frank flirting, unambiguous hints. Moreover, behave as if “Turgenev’s young lady” is not necessary. In this case, the “mimicry” is not to the point. Men easily give in to the provocation of hard seduction. Of course, if their moral stability is not particularly iron.
The funny thing is that many are scared of such a frank pressure, and while they are in prostration, you can take them warm. Sometimes men are blatantly stupid and flap their eyes in confusion. They really do not understand what they want. In this case, you just need to tell him directly and frankly about it. Men love frankness and quickly surrender their boundaries if you put them in front of the fact.
Hunting for a stubborn man
There is a category of men who live by the notions of the institution of marriage. They are not the standard of fidelity, and do not go “to the left” just because it is not accepted. They have their own attitude towards marriage: if you married, you should live with your wife. There may not be love in such a marriage, they just feel good and comfortable in such a relationship. They can have a full family, but they furtively, and sometimes openly, depending on the character of the spouse, look at other women.
At the same time waving the flag of fidelity in all directions. To seduce such an easy, but here is important a set of several factors. First of all, this type of man must be in a long-term relationship. That is, he must have been with this woman for a very long period before marriage. Secondly, such a man must have such a character trait as constancy.
Thirdly, his spouse must cease to conform to the accepted canons of femininity. This means a floating figure, a “clumsy” character, an acquiescence, and some degree of indifference. Of course, starting to hunt for such a comrade all of this you may not know, but in the process of seduction all of these factors will emerge, and then it will be much easier.
Seducing such a man, it is necessary to apply the following techniques:
- Friendship. You will have to work hard to gain his confidence. You can not go anywhere without a frank heart-to-heart talk, as their further tactics depend on it.
- Goodies. As a rule, these men live in families dominated by children’s menus or the laws of proper nutrition. Celery and steamed patties already bored, and the soul demands a delicious, homemade cake. A couple of bowls of cherished goodies, and half the job is done.
- Comfort and safety. Such men value their reputation very much. To seduce such a specimen will have to work hard in providing the rear.
The best time to start active action is some kind of holiday. For example, a birthday party. He is invited, a little tipsy, and then it’s a matter of technique.
What can you count on with such a “wuss”? Only hot sex. It’s unlikely he’ll get active. Men like that don’t break up their families for a mistress. They will not leave their comfort zone. The maximum they can agree to: intimacy, comfort, dinner. Since they are constant, their connection on the side can last for years.
And the mistress will be the same. They will be madly in love with this woman, lusting after her, dreaming of living with her. And the conversations will be sincere, but unfortunately, everything will remain the same. You can try to steal him away from the family with the help of an imaginary rival, but that’s also doubtful. There is a high probability that he will eat his brain with a teaspoon of his jealousy, but he is unlikely to decide to get a divorce.
An Accidental Marriage
How do you seduce a married man by accident? It’s easy. These men are some walkers. They will spend their whole life looking into someone else’s stall. It’s easy to pick one up. With them work the same techniques that work with the single: coquetry, flirting, hints, pressure. Moreover, the more play and fun, the better. In general, ease and relaxedness are the two components of successful hunting. The only thing to consider is the lack of durability of such relationships.
Such men will never treasure their mistress. They just don’t need her: there are plenty of people around who will agree to have sex without commitment. Count on the fact that he will leave the family… well, unless his wife burns his “carousing” and throws his suitcases out the door, and he will not divorce voluntarily. And even then, most likely, after the divorce, the huntress won’t see anything. This “rabbit” will “whore” for life.
Top flight: the “saint”.
And if you got a pathologically faithful specimen? In theory, nothing. To infringe on such a “swan” in human form is blasphemy. But if you really had to do it, then you will need hard work, which will take a very long time. It will be necessary not only to gain his trust. It is important to shadow this person. He must get used to the fact that next to him is a kind of “Decembrist”.
This is the only way to put him off his guard. You have to be careful what you do. This man must not suspect anything. If flirting, it should be under cover. If flirting, then very subtly. In general, to seduce such a specimen under force very few. But, if this happens, and he will really fall in love, then 99.9% of the time he will leave the family. His pathological honesty will not allow you to “fool around” with his wife.
The arsenal of a successful huntress
To seduce a married man you will need an impressive arsenal.
- Appearance. She must be outstanding. Being just nice is not enough. A married man’s wife is cute, too. You have to be stunning. Makeup as natural as possible. No false eyelashes or pouty lips. The maximum that can be artificial is a manicure. And then only because in this matter, men do not understand. Everything must be natural.
- Clothing. Men who already have a stamp in their passports, as a rule, are very self-sufficient. And they cannot be bought with a skirt on the ears and a transparent blouse. Such men prefer calm classics. Before them, you can appear in jeans and a T-shirt, but only when the situation allows it, for example, a picnic. In all other cases, only business style. There should be no vulgarity.
- An uncommon mind. Have to shine in many areas. Before you seduce a married man should know almost everything about him. And only after that explore the themes close to him, in order to shoot down his knowledge in the field of tank construction, for example.
Armed with such a weapon, you can go hunting.
Practical Recommendations for the beginner hunters
Love is evil: you will also fall in love with a married man. Everything happens in life, and no matter how “clucking” with a cherished stamp, each of them is under threat of treason her husband. But we are not talking about them.
In order to seduce a married man needs a clear plan of action:
- To gain his trust. Men are prone to the proverbial friendship of a woman. As one famous character said “friendship between a man and a woman is possible, but only if they are former or future lovers.” So it is. In this case, friendship precedes a love relationship. To develop this friendship, a difficult task. For example, trust will emerge only after the huntress herself tells a heartwarming story over coffee and asks for advice. Men, even impossible brutals, are very gentle and sympathetic creatures. They will not just get into a situation, but will be able to give sensible advice. And if at the same time they themselves go to the revelations, then “it’s in the bag”.
- All-round development. This is an easier one. It is necessary to know the interests of the victim. And then study the necessary topics. You will have to work for many days, but it will be worth it. If the girl is on the same page as the target, he’s already halfway done.
- Looks. Always with a dash of perfume. But you’ll have to forget about perfume. Married men are very sensitive in this matter, because there is a “sheepdog” at home that smells “Chanel № 5” a mile away. So just a light scent of body lotion and nothing more. Even if his wife has a runny nose, men still do not really like women’s perfume, so, in confidence. Makeup is a must: “matryoshka” without a shadow of cosmetics in his house sits, boils borscht. And he, like any man, is no stranger to the concept of aesthetics. One “but”: makeup should be calm. No blue eyeshadow and glitter. Men prefer tenderness, not vulgarity. And red lips must have a place and time.
- Behavior Model. Flirt! Without it there is no way. Properly flirting is not everyone can do. Flirting should be invisible, thinly veiled. He should be read in the slightest movement of the body, eyes, lips. For example, the movement is smooth and imposing, as Bagheera after a hearty meal, while walking gently swaying his hips, playing with a lock of hair or a pendant. A smile that does not have to be full of 32 teeth, a grin is enough, but calmly, without the shadow of superiority or condescension. It is important to play with the look: eyelashes half-lidded, slightly embarrassed, or conversely playful. She looked and looked away, looked and looked away. In general, the game of “peeking over” works well. Voice: low, chesty, with a slight huskiness. No squeal or childlike intonation. Even if nature has awarded a high tone means to muffle it as much as possible, to speak softly and measured, but not to chew speech. If you start a conversation, you need to look at the man directly, eye to eye.
Lessons on seduction at work
In the workplace there are two categories of men to seduce: the boss and a colleague. The top flight is the boss. A common option is the coworker.
With an ordinary employee, everything is simple: lunch, coffee, casual conversation, and all the other techniques that are described above. The only place where you have to “hold your horses” is emotions. Here they need to be carefully masked, because gossip and rumors are not helpful.
The task of “how to seduce a married boss” is more complicated. First of all, will have to put out to the maximum. The clear performance of all instructions, outstanding abilities, a clear mind and intelligence, willingness to work at any time of day and night, professional commitment. And even if the seduction does not work, then you can definitely get a promotion.
Everything should be carefully calculated. Managers rarely go for foolishness and fleeting communication. They are too precious and their reputation, and their place, and their marriage, on the presence of which a lot depends.
Therefore, in pursuit of the chief, there is a risk not only of becoming the object of gossip, but also of being kicked out of work. This is possible if you behave brazenly, defiantly, vulgarly.
What they lack
When a married man decides to commit adultery, it begs the question, “what does he, the bitch, lack?” A clean house, borscht on the stove, kids on the job, a smart, beautiful wife?” Yes, it’s very simple – he lacks drive, adrenaline. He stopped feeling like a man. He is anything: a husband, a father, an earner, but the spirit of the conqueror died quietly among the diapers and bags.
His wife has calmed down, sits on her ass, lets her ass grow. And all kind of shows that no one anywhere to go. In general, actively “builds the nest” and forgot to think that her husband might be the object of the hunt. These are the types of specimens that are caught in the net of the skillful hunters.
The topic “How to seduce a married man” is actually very sharp. Married men are like an open book. Everything is already clear with him: he is reliable, he is self-sufficient, he is damn attractive. But before you read the laws of seduction married men, it is not bad to think about the consequences. Often reality and expectations do not coincide, and the disappointment can be very severe. So before you seduce a married man, you need to think hard,” but is it worth the trouble.
I slept with a married man: what a harsh lesson life has taught me.
Ask any heartbroken man who has broken up because of infidelity: such love affairs can lead to bad consequences. The reason for such affairs is a woman “destroying someone else’s home. Although in reality, some women who sleep with married men want to have a healthy relationship with them.
A course in cognitive psychology.
You’ll learn where anxiety comes from and when it stops being the norm. You’ll find the thoughts that make you feel bad about yourself. Learn to understand your emotions and feelings. You’ll understand how to overcome unnecessary anxiety, to become more confident and not depend on others’ opinions.
Psychologists say that many women are attracted to the inaccessibility of family men. For them, relationships with “married men” are ideal, because such partners do not want more – they already have a family.
As for other women: although they may feel uncomfortable with a man’s marriage, their own intimate problems attract them to someone unavailable. Three women described why they slept with married men and what experiences they got out of such relationships.
“I met ‘Mr. Married Man’ about a year and a half ago when my friend asked me to play keyboards in his band, and the man was the bass player.
I was interested in him because he was super funny, cool, stylish, sweet, generous, kind, caring, creative, and artistic, not to mention his quirky demeanor. There was chemistry between us, but at first I was a little uncomfortable with the fact that he was married. He assured me that they were in a “don’t ask, don’t tell” relationship. I offered to tell her all about it several times, but he didn’t have the courage. Finally, I gave in and believed him when he said she would get over it.
We spent time in the parks, out of town or in our studio where we shared music and played for months. It was nice that there wasn’t so much pressure when we had a fully committed relationship. And it allowed us to loosen up sexually. At the same time, keeping the relationship a secret made me feel terrible, like he was ashamed of me or us. I felt guilty about the decision he made to hide it from his wife.
When he eventually told her everything, it turned out she was furious. The relationship ended horribly. He told me not to contact him or his wife again, and I haven’t seen him since. It’s been almost a year. I still feel a lot of guilt about it all, although I am currently in a relationship with a man who is not married, and I am very happy.
I think such women, myself included, genuinely believe that they can have an affair with a married man so no one gets hurt, and they really care not only about the man but also about his family. This is very rare.”
“I met this man on a business trip about three years ago. Our relationship started with him being my mentor and helping me with my work. Little did I know he was married. He never wore a wedding ring.
He was an alpha male: smart, confident and very sexy. At work, he praised me for my performances, which made me feel like a professional at my job. He was constant and I felt safe with him. Our relationship moved into the category of lovemaking.
It was after our first kiss that he told me he was married. I couldn’t believe it. We had spent so much time together, how could he have a wife? Then he started explaining how she abused him, how much they fought, and it made me feel bad. There were times when I felt it was wrong. He brought me to their apartment when my wife was on a long business trip. I felt very uncomfortable. I also saw evidence of their fighting – marks on the walls from broken objects. And it made me want to take care of him.
His inaccessibility was arousing; I felt threatened by such an affair. But it frustrated me, because we couldn’t do the normal things that all couples do. I got to know some of his friends, but he never wanted to get to know mine.
Our romance ended when I found out that all the things he told me about his wife were about him, too. He verbally abused me and almost punched me in the face once during an argument, but I stopped him and then he cried. He had had too much to drink and after that he dared to raise his hand against me. Then he tried to talk me into getting plastic surgery, which knocked me out. It took me a while, but I realized he was crazy.
In the end, I broke up with him and then came back because of his crying and apologies, only to have him break up with me himself a week later. I realized his ego was battered when I told him I didn’t want to be with him, so he made up with me, just to break up so he could have the last word.
After we broke up, he tried to fix things with his wife, it didn’t work, and I think he realized very quickly that no sane woman could handle his ego for how little he gave in return. I hate him, and he is nothing but a constant reminder of all the mistakes I made and how low my self-esteem was when I put up with him for so long.”
“Six years after I graduated high school, I had an affair with my former gymnastics teacher. In high school, all the girls dreamed of him: he was a tall, energetic guy with bright blue eyes. The thought of being a student, the age difference, and the taboo made me want him even more. When I was 17 years old, I remember fantasizing about us snuggling in his office after class. We all knew he was married, and there were rumors that he already had a child. Nevertheless, I flirted and felt a little spark between us when we looked into each other’s eyes. When I was 18, he was 30-32, so he was at a sexy age.
Years later, I decided to write him. I was shocked when I got a text from him, “Thanks for writing. You look good.” We corresponded constantly and he asked me if I would “come to my former high school in the same uniform I wore to his classes.” That was my dream. This was the man who gave me a “4” for not running fast enough in the gym.
He met my friends and me (who also went to high school with us) at a Chinese restaurant. I remember getting into his car with the baby car seat in the back. He acted like he wasn’t at all embarrassed about driving around town with a former student.
The affair lasted about four months, we had sex a couple of times and it was incredible. He turned out to be a big pervert in bed, but I still had sex with him. The physical component of our affair was much less enjoyable than my fantasies. This guy had a wife who worked as a fitness model and two kids. He refused the idea of having sex in his bed at home when his wife was working out. He talked to me about wanting to see me at a restaurant when he was with his wife or meeting me in the bathroom. At first I felt overwhelmed and uncomfortable. I was complicit and wasn’t acting at all the way I should have, but I was so young and at the time really didn’t know how to do any better. I could have said no, but I was overcome with passion.
I didn’t like the fact that he was desperate to avoid his current family life and invade mine. I imagined he was supposed to be “cool and sexy.” And then one day I just realized: he’s a miserable gym teacher who is disgusted with his wife and two sons. I can do better than that.”