How to resume a relationship with a girl after a pause: an algorithm of actions and tips from psychologists
It is believed that the separation tests the sincerity of the lovers’ feelings. But sometimes it happens because of resentment, when the partners decide to break up. Time passes, and the man realizes that he misses his beloved, thinks about how to resume relations with the girl after the pause.
Reasons for the breakup
Making attempts to mend the relationship with his beloved, you should not forget, at whose initiative the separation occurred and what was its cause.
The reason for the separation could be:
- Betrayal of a man. Heavily and painfully a woman experiences infidelity. Despite strong feelings, many can not forgive betrayal.
- Constant conflict. Girls stop relationships if they are filled with regular quarrels, emotional clarifications and accusations.
- A woman has found a new suitor, with whom she is more interesting, reliable, quieter. It is good when a girl does not stoop to treason, and stops communicating immediately after meeting the man she likes.
- Jealousy. Excessive manifestation of this feeling, constant control and suspicion can destroy the strongest relationships. A woman is tired of making excuses. She gets tired of accusations, suspicions and stops communicating with the jealous man.
- Lack of sincere feelings. Sometimes the connection keeps on mutual sympathy or passion. And they are not always enough to build a strong long-term relationship. The girl realizes that the sexual attraction is weakening and breaks up with the man.
If the reason for the quarrel of former lovers is serious, based on mutual resentment, betrayal, it is almost impossible to restore relations with the girl after a pause.
What problems to work through
Before trying to return his beloved, a man should analyze the reason for the breakup and understand whether he is ready to change. If the breakup occurred because of minor quarrels, manifestations of jealousy, there is a chance to restore the relationship. But this is in the case when the guy has sincere feelings, and not act under the influence of bruised ego.
Psychologists do not advise to establish communication after separation if:
- girl in a relationship with a man had a material interest;
- the lover has cheated;
- views and life goals of the partners do not match;
- None of the couple does not make concessions during conflicts.
Relationships should bring feelings of joy, tranquility, reliability. And if renewal does not guarantee happiness, it is better to give yourself time, endure pain and disappointment, and open up to new acquaintances.
Algorithm of action
To resume a relationship with a girl after a pause, a man must show his beloved that he is ready to change for her for the better.
The main thing in the process of reconciliation:
- Analysis of his previous behavior. It is necessary to show yourself kind, gallant, willing to spend all the time with the girl. It is worth to prove by deeds that there will be no more cheating, jealousy scenes, insults.
- Self-improvement both physical and spiritual. Specialists advise to find a hobby, go to the gym, get your appearance in order.
- Demonstration of their achievements in social networks, publishing photos, reposting notes on the topic of relationships. Girls often look through the pages of former suitors and see changes in a man.
- Writing a romantic message with memories of happy moments together that you want to relive.
- Organizing casual meetings where the guy will show that he is happy to see his beloved. If she has already changed her anger for mercy, you can offer to sit in a cafe or go to the movies.
All actions aimed at resuming communication should not be done under the pressure of emotions, and the passage of time, when the pain of resentment after parting slightly subsided.
What should not be done.
Sometimes the desire to return the girl after a pause in the relationship becomes an obsession for a man. He pursues his beloved, comes to make up and fights again. This can lead to a final breakup. Therefore, the following mistakes should be avoided when trying to establish communication with a woman:
- Being intrusive, not giving a pass, pestering with phone calls. The first time after a breakup you should take a pause, to let your emotions die down, to let the girl miss you – to do everything so that she herself wants to meet.
- Humiliate and beg to come back. A man in the eyes of a girl should always remain confident and reliable. Even if the rupture of the relationship was entirely the fault of the man, a scene with sincere apologies will be enough. And then your beloved need to give time to think everything over and if you want to forgive.
- Buy gifts. Many men are trying to make up for the guilt with the help of expensive gifts. A girl who has already decided to leave, can stop communicating even after accepting the gift. Offended by the treason of women in general, this method of apology is considered humiliating.
- Threaten with suicide or play sick. Such manipulations are characteristic of weak men and repel the girls even more.
- Abuse alcoholic beverages. Under the influence of alcohol, a man does not control his behavior, comes to the house of the beloved, which often leads to new scandals and quarrels. If the partner “laced” problems with alcohol, the girl can not rely on him in the future.
Hoping to resume relations with the girl after a pause, the man should be balanced, calm, relaxed. Then the beloved will think everything over, realize that she has lost a worthy suitor, and perhaps resume communication.
Tips from psychologists
On the question of how to return the girl after a pause in the relationship, psychologists advise a man to tune in to the fact that the lady will have to conquer again. Experts say that attempts to draw the attention of former girlfriends should not repeat stories from the past. It will have to attract attention to themselves, to like again. And do it gradually, unobtrusively.
Psychological studies suggest that partners after the breakup need to calm down, to take a pause, not to meet, to give an opportunity to rest from each other, to miss each other.
This period a man can devote to sports, work, friends. And if during the pause, the guy will realize that he wants to be with this particular girl, he will find a reason to meet by chance and begin a long period of romantic courtship.
Simple ways: allow you to get back in a relationship with a girl
There is a widespread belief that if the guy and his girlfriend have separated, then the relationship can not be glued. And this is not far from the truth, but the desire to resurrect, to return the former relationship with your girlfriend has crept into your head and you want to start all over again. OK!
So, what do you need to do to translate the words “Come on, goodbye” into the process of developing a new and vibrant relationship. A few simple ways.
In fact, it’s possible that you’re living in memories and thus escaping from reality. Think about whether or not you need to resume the relationship. How do you feel right now? Revisit your former relationship, maybe you should turn over a new leaf and your life will change.
First, you need to answer yourself the questions:
- 1. Who initiated the breakup?
- 2. What is the reason the relationship needs to be restarted:
- a) Are you afraid of being alone?
- b) Are you afraid of building a relationship with a new girl?
- c) Are you bored without her?
- d) Do you have a strong passion for her?
- e) Psychological addiction?
- g) Are you jealous of her?
- H) Do you want to legitimize your relationship with her because you love her?
If you answered most of the questions positively, then read the following tips, it’s possible that your feelings apply to a “Today and Forever” situation.
What to do to get back in a relationship with a girl
Each girl needs a different approach, and the reasons for the breakup may be different. What to do? Wait for everything to work itself out or end the relationship forever?
If you feel like you have to make up, you have to do something about that wish now! To have more accomplishments and less disappointment in your life.
You have to admit that the ways described below are general, and you have to choose your own, based on your situation.
1. Learn to be direct about your feelings and ask for another chance
“Is it really enough to just talk about your feelings to get your girlfriend back,” you ask? No, but it is the first step to achieve clarity between you. The bottom line is that many girls love with their ears, so you have to make an appointment, buy the flowers she likes, approach her, call her by name, voice your offer to make up, apologize for earlier mistakes and talk about your feelings. You’ll have to put a lot of effort, persistence and not make empty promises if you want to have a close relationship again.
2. Become an active creator of future relationships.
You may have had a quiet and routine relationship, and they are tiring. The essence of this method comes down to giving your ex-girlfriend a portion of new, fresh impressions. In short, surprise her! Make a plan of your decisive actions by day, so that it will definitely be a surprise.
For example, on Monday – take advantage of home flower delivery through a courier. On Tuesday, buy her a very desirable gift, put it in a beautiful package to create additional interest. On Wednesday, write her a message on VKontakte or an original text message, etc.
Asking for forgiveness, in this case will be a great tool to restore trust, plus everyday surprises will show your interest.
3. Work on yourself, provoke jealousy
This method, the exact opposite of the previous ones. Often, the guy initially in the formation of a relationship tries to please the girl in everything, makes a goddess of her, is jealous, fulfills all her whims and desires. Forgetting that a woman needs a real strong man who knows what he wants, not whining, not complaining, able to be flexible and composed.
So, stop proving something, calling and communicating with her, at least for a while. Get a second job, start going to the gym, try to draw attention to yourself in any way you can.
This will be a signal that important changes are happening in your life and that you are not worried about the breakup. She will probably become jealous. And here the main thing is that she does not get offended and does not see a clear rival, but starts to show interest in you and makes the first step. And now, if she also wants to be with you, the chances of renewing the relationship are great.
It is likely that these few ways will help to restore and maintain the old relationship. However, remember – the habit of stability, fear of sudden changes and new disappointments can pull to your ex. And the desire to get the girl back is nothing more than just nostalgia for a warm relationship, a fantasy and an obsession. We hope that the article was of interest to girls as well.