What to do if your girlfriend has grown cold? How to get her feelings back?
My occupation makes me always be aware of events and learn something new. I like to learn and grow.
The expert – Victoria Fomina
Highest-category sexologist, psychiatrist and psychotherapist. I have been working as a sexologist for over 10 years. I help couples solve problems in sex life.
“Yesterday, still looking into the eyes, but now all squinting away” Tsvetaeva wrote about a man, but in fact, this happens to girls too. Yesterday she was looking in love and catching every word, answering messages quickly, laughing at your jokes, and now suddenly you no longer feel like a special person in her life. So what to do?
Take action, of course! You are a man, after all. Conquered – then you’ll be able to keep, and again to rekindle the fire of sincere and ardent feelings of love.
How do you do it? Like this.
Ways to make the girl love you again
- Be an attentive listener
Girls – and people in general – really like to be listened to attentively. So they feel significant, and this is especially important in romantic relationships: it’s important to feel important to your partner as a person whose opinion he listens to, whom he is interested in.
And often guys, especially if they and a girl have been together for a long time, stop listening to her because they think they’ve learned everything about her. But people change all the time!
How do you prove yourself as an attentive listener?
Notice if something bothers her, and try to ask softly, express your desire to support, find out how she feels.
Listen about her hobbies and interests. Try to partake in them, even if at first glance they don’t interest you at all.
Memorize little details about her, she’ll be very pleased if after a while after the conversation you’re like “Kim Taehan? Ahhh, that’s the one from BTS, your favorite?”. That would show that she’s a significant person to you.
Be honest about your suspicions: that you feel like she’s grown cold and no longer has the same feelings for you. Tell her how you feel about it, tell her how you want to make things right.
The girl will be very pleased that you trust her enough to open up emotionally; that she is so important to you that you notice her changing attitude towards you and talk about it; and that you are willing to work on the relationship to fix the situation. Plus this way you’ll know exactly what’s wrong and which way to go.
Important: Avoid an accusatory or complaining stance. You shouldn’t be the aggressor, like “come on, love me again, quick!” and not a little kid, like “please, love me again, please, please, please, please”, but an adult, calm, open to conversation.
- Do little surprises.
It can be anything that shows her “I’m thinking about you, I care about you.” It does not have to be something expensive: on the contrary, if you have a problem with finances, an expensive gift can only upset the girl (I wish you, honey, had bought me good winter boots instead of a fancy bouquet of roses).
It could be anything, like a cute text message, a meme with cats cuddling and the caption “this is us,” a song dropped off with the caption “she reminded me of you. Meeting her from work because it rained or because you just wanted to see her. Meet her at work with a bath and dinner and a massage.
Of course, you can and more classic romantic gestures: breakfast in bed, dinner by candlelight, a spontaneous invitation to a cafe. Not so important, the main thing – to let her know that you think about her and want to please her every minute.
Women have all buzzed ears that they should not “be obamiliar” that God forbid a man sees them in a robe and slippers instead of a sexy negligee – immediately all that below the belt, will dry off. But women also have eyes, and she too likes to see you not scratching his belly on the couch with a laptop, and in a neat shirt, smelling of cologne, with clean hair, nails, with a well-groomed beard, stubble or neatly shaved.
By the way, if you think that women are just delighted with beer bellies, and that only men lose any sexual interest in the beloved, it is worth it to add a little in the waist, it is not true. There are aesthetes among women, too, so if she was married to thin-voiced Legolas, and now she has a hobbit Sam Gamgee – you’re on your way not to the Shire or Rivendell, but very much to the gym.
Of course, the ultimate weapon of romance is dating. You should give her one, preferably on a regular basis. Make a date that she likes, that would fit her hobbies.
Housewife, who loves soap operas and can not stand the crowd of more than four people are unlikely to appreciate a date to a club with deafening music and wild dancing, and rocker-hitchhiker unlikely much interest in a home cuddle for pizza.
How do you come up with a date idea? You have to figure out what she likes to do. For example, if she loves movies – here it’s simple: take her to a movie of her favorite director or arrange a cinema in the open air, and watch a video beforehand like “Hidden meaning …”, “Why do we love so-and-so movie” and “How does so-and-so director shoot” to make it interesting to talk to you.
By the way, it will be especially nice girl, if you used to refuse to commune with her interests, and now decided to do it and framed it as a surprise. For example, she loves the same BTS and you couldn’t stand them. She’ll probably be thrilled if you invite her over and there’s a bunch of fan paraphernalia and you, ready to listen for hours about those Yungis and Chongooks of hers and even learning to tell one from the other.
However, if you’re going to get it in your head, the girl is going to enjoy it anyway, regardless of her hobbies. So the classic options like a date on the roof, in the quest room, are also quite working.
- Unload her life.
Very often the cooling of the relationship is just a household chores. Girls have more of it because girls are usually the ones who take care of the house in addition to their main job, plus they often have things like taking care of sick relatives, animals, children, plus she still needs to maintain her beauty and preferably somehow develop as a person.
So she will be very happy and happy if you take over some of the household chores. Without her reminders and control. Just see that there’s no food in the house – cook, see that it’s dirty – clean it up, see that it’s dusty – wipe it down, see that you need to walk the dog – walk it. That’s how it works, you two live here, you’re a couple, not a mother with a grown son.
Believe me, when a woman can take care of herself, get enough sleep, rest, do hobbies – it’s much easier for her to be romantic and loving.
- Tell her compliments and words of gratitude
It is very important for girls to feel significant in the life of the loved one, to feel that she is loved, she is admired, they appreciate her contribution to the relationship. So tell her that out loud, believe me, by your grateful eyes she is unlikely to understand anything, this is not a clear enough manifestation of love.
The words of gratitude and compliments can be the most common, the main thing that they were sincere, from the heart. You look magical today. I love your hair so much. I’m proud to have you as my girlfriend. You delight me with your knowledge.
Thank you for helping me with my work, I really appreciate it. I don’t know what I would do without you. You are amazing. You’re a great conversationalist. I love your passion. I love your hard work. I love the way you look when you sleep. I love you.
How do you make a girl fall in love?
There isn’t a single person in the world who knows how to make a girl fall in love. However, I have a few proven ways to make the object of adoration. It is possible that after a demonstration of certain qualities, the beauty will want to build a serious relationship with you.
What kind of guys like girls
To begin with, learn that young ladies like guys who have the following qualities:
- Respect for others;
- courtesy and politeness;
- the ability to protect and defend your loved one;
- inner strength;
- activity and sociability.
If a man is physically strong and attractive in appearance, he has a much better chance than a cowardly wimp.
The girl is looking for a companion who will be a support for her. She should feel weak next to a strong and courageous partner. Her chosen one should create maximum conditions to ensure the future family.
The ideal of a man is present in the mind of every representative of the strong sex. Some associated with a beloved father, others – with a popular singer or actor. At the same time, every girl can fall in love with the average guy from next door. In general, it’s easier to learn how to play pool with dice than to understand women.
Confidence – the path to any achievement
Every man should be confident in himself. Then the girl wakes up her natural instincts, and she feels safe. There is no magic pill that would give this quality.
To become more confident, you need to:
- periodically step out of your comfort zone;
- Set yourself global goals and achieve them;
- earn good money;
- develop your brain;
- travel more often;
- open up new horizons.
You’ll ask, “How do I make a girl fall in love if I’m not her type?” Yes, the task is not easy! But you can start practicing and working on your confidence now.
There is no love without respect.
Some guys refuse to respect their girlfriend or don’t know how to do it. She will never be able to love you sincerely if you treat her neglectfully.
Follow the basic rules and you can win her heart:
- Be respectful not only to your chosen one, but also to the rest of the female sex.
- Do not interrupt her when you are talking and do not yell at her.
- Give constructive compliments.
- Praise your girlfriend verbally and by text message for any achievements.
- Take an interest in her questions and concerns.
- Watch what you say, especially in front of other people.
- Ask for her opinion.
- Accept and respect her needs, hobbies.
- Say “thank you,” “excuse me,” and “please.”
- Treat the girl as an equal, emphasize her importance.
Self-respect is also important. You can not become lower than your chosen one, otherwise she will become indifferent to you.
Sociability and a sense of humor
One of my friends has a mediocre appearance, but girls are all over him. It’s because he has a great tongue, he doesn’t suffer from complexes, and he can make even the most serious lady laugh.
I do not recommend you to talk a lot in her presence, because not every girl will agree to live with a guy who is constantly talking. It is important to know what to talk about and when to talk.
Do not be a bore and know how to have fun. You can’t be too serious. Girls like guys who know how to have fun. You are never bored with such partners.
Don’t forget the look.
Girls are attracted to guys who care about their appearance. This includes grooming, cleanliness, health. Good luck in love will befall you if you observe the following rules:
- Wash regularly, use antiperspirant.
- Use quality perfume with alluring aphrodisiac notes.
- Walk around in clean, ironed clothes.
- Be on-trend and wear stylish, modern clothes. Just don’t overdo it, or you’ll look ridiculous. Down with the saggy banana-cut pants and the crimson jacket. Get rid of the leather cape to your heels, even if you feel like Al Capone or Neo from The Matrix in it.
- Choose quality and practical shoes. They should always shine.
- Replace old washed-out T-shirts with trendy polos and shirts.
- Take care of the accessories – belt, sunglasses, wallet, wristwatch.
You don’t have to spend outrageous amounts on expensive clothes. Develop a sense of taste, and then you can dress cheap and stylish.
What psychologists say
Psychologists believe that you can easily achieve your goal if you know how to make a girl fall in love. To do this, you need to use special techniques:
1. In seducing men, representatives of the fair sex successfully use the method of closer and farther away. I have long ago adopted this trick. The first time you should show maximum attention to the object of adoration, to invite on dates and to make compliments. At one point, all courting must stop. If she writes messages, reply dryly. Again begin to show interest after about 2 days. For questions and recriminations, you can answer that you were busy with work and business. Such a swing will fuel the girl’s interest and make her think about you.
2. Show that you have your own life. Sometimes don’t pick up the phone if she calls. Don’t always answer her texts right away. It’s better to take a pause. However, do not get carried away with this point.
3. remind yourself before you go to bed. If you call her closer to night, then subconsciously she will think of you when she closes her eyes. Just ask her how her day was, and wish her a good night. Call the young lady every night is not worth it.
4. Be mysterious. At the beginning of a relationship, leave some loose ends. Sometimes don’t finish your answers to questions. Try to make an extra joke. Evade an answer if she asks where or with whom you were yesterday. The girl will think you’re a serious guy, and you have important things to do, she’ll become interested in your life.
The truest statement that characterizes the attitude of girls towards men is “The less we like a woman, the more she likes us.
A few more unconventional ways
If you’ve tried all the options to no avail, then pull out the trumps:
2. Give her something she’s wanted for a long time – travel tickets, an expensive phone or a laptop. Just don’t rush to the bank branch for a credit card. The gift can be quite simple, but successful. It is acceptable to make it with your own hands, if, for example, you draw beautifully.
3. Confess your love to her. If you established a close communication with this girl, or have already reached intimacy, you can try to confess your feelings to her. Perhaps she has long wanted to say that she fell in love, but is shy. It is not necessary to conduct a love grab in a hurry. You need to prepare for the confession and show imagination. Then the girl will surely reciprocate. Social networks are not the best way to declare your love.
4. If you cross paths with friends or relatives of the chosen one, you have to be perfect in their eyes. Believe me, young ladies listen to the advice of friends and parents. Win the trust of her loved ones, and the chances will be higher.
6. Let the lady know that you have other options, but you choose her. Let her get a little jealous. If another lady shows up in the relationship, it will only add spice to the experience. Later, when the girl realizes that she’s special and the dearest, she’ll probably flame with feelings.
7. Unforgettable sex. If you do not know how to make her fall in love, “bind” her physically. They only love just like that in the movies. Today’s ladies are addicted to fat purses and an embossed model body. Sex is one of the reasons why love chemistry occurs on an instinctual level. Study her preferences, favorite positions and the most sensitive erogenous zones. Make sure that in bed with you she is always at the peak of pleasure.
As for magic and love spells, this is not the best way out. There is no magic spell in such a case. Even if you have hypnosis and some knowledge concerning conspiracies, discard all that magic stuff and look at life sensibly. I hope you’re not the kind of guy who turns to fortune-tellers and psychics. Otherwise you risk losing a lot of money and being alone.
If you broke up with a lady, became lonely and realized that you made a mistake, you are probably tormented by the question, “How to make a girl fall in love again?” Not only the above ways will help here, but also admitting you were wrong.
To begin with, give her your apologies, ask for forgiveness. This should be done without hinting at the resumption of relations. Analyze the reasons for the breakup, rethink your behavior, find a new hobby and hobbies.
Reach out to the girl a hand of friendship, try to create with her a deep emotional connection. Show her your changes. She should understand that those problems that served as a reason for the breakup will not arise again.
Give her a choice. If you do the right thing, the relationship will definitely resume and she will fall in love with you with renewed vigor.
Make her fall in love with you by correspondence.
If you don’t know how to make a girl fall in love by correspondence, then remember the following techniques:
1. The main weapon in correspondence is originality. Messages should hook and intrigue, so that the girl wants to continue the conversation. A banal “Hello. How are you?” is already boring to everyone and causes irritation. Nice ladies write often, so you need to find an individual approach and stand out against the mass of fans.
2. talk more about her interests. Ask about her childhood, dreams, plans and her opinion.
3. be polite. Say hello, say goodbye, ask about her business, news, and how she’s doing.
4. Even if in school you were a raging loser, and still write “zhi” with “y”, try to respect the rules of punctuation and spelling. Many ladies can not stand youth slang, foul language and mistakes in the words.
5. Do not pester her with questions. If there is no answer, perhaps the young lady is busy. Believe me, no one will like the minute-by-minute screams online like, “Why aren’t you talking?!”
6. In correspondence, often use compliments about appearance and character. Naughty phrases are not welcome.
7. Use romantic turns and lines of verse.
8. Witty humor is a great way to bond and a sure path to falling in love.
9. To find common topics of conversation in social networks, analyze information about her hobbies, books, music preferences, study groups and communities in which the girl is a member.
Here are the top phrases to use in correspondence:
- “I saw you today. You look beautiful!”
- “I’m glad we’ve started talking more often. Just the kind of girl I’ve always dreamed of.”
- “Thanks to the creator of the internet for me seeing your profile and the wonderful pictures in it.”
- “It’s great that it’s so easy for us to communicate.”
You shouldn’t write about ex-girlfriends or ask intimate questions. And no 18+ photos.
Always keep a close eye on the conversation. Eliminate interruptions if the mood of the lady you’re talking to worsens. Don’t wait for the lady to take the initiative. If you miss your chance, in a month you’ll already be liking her photos with a new boyfriend.
Do you need her love?
Are you sure she is your soul mate? Or do you think you are an experienced pickpocket, and you wanted to prove to yourself the ability to seduce? Make sure that you want her love. How not to have to read articles on “How to politely send a girl”, “How to get rid of a clingy admirer.
If you fall in love with a girl, you will dramatically change her life. What will be her behavior in the future, it is impossible to predict. If you get tired of your girlfriend, you will have to take responsibility not only for their actions, but also for her deeds. It is not uncommon for girls to jump off roofs and take pills from unrequited feelings.
So I would advise you to use your knowledge with the utmost care. If you’re not planning to date a lady, don’t brainwash her and don’t tie her down emotionally.
And don’t practice on married ladies under any circumstances! That’s how you get your ass kicked in the face. At best she will be yours, and after a while she will leave just like she left her husband.
Why doesn’t the girl fall in love?
If you can not escape the thought of how to make her fall in love, and all your attempts to get closer to her fail, dig deep within yourself. Maybe you’ve made some kind of mistake? Criticized her behavior? Flirted with her friend? Gossiped about others in front of her?
Think about it, maybe the girl doesn’t see you as a promising guy because you spend all night playing Dota or drinking beer at the bar with your friends? You spend your time aimlessly and don’t work anywhere? Then the answer is on the surface.
Maybe you were too pushy? Once on a first date with a girl, I drank too much alcohol and acted like a lustful animal, hugging and kissing. It was a complete disaster! Don’t make my mistake. Tactile contact should be unobtrusive and delicate. Be gentle and courteous, not pounce on your date from the threshold.
Take her hand while walking, hold, climbing the stairs, gently remove a lock of hair from her face. Use the stare. This is a great weapon of seduction. If your eyes “burn” at the sight of a beauty, she will definitely notice it.
Work on yourself, go through the whole process of improvement. Regardless of whether you succeed in making the girl fall in love with you or not, you must remain true to yourself and your principles. Behave naturally and do not be carried away by pick-up techniques.
If you do not work with the girls, perhaps you should talk to a psychologist. Specialist will advise you how to overcome their complexes.
The aloofness and coldness of the young lady is not a reason to stop pursuing this girl. If you do not want to waste time, emotions, money and energy in vain, it is time to look around. There is sure to be a worthy person who will appreciate your qualities.
In any case, each lady needs her own approach. If you set up positively and become confident in yourself, it will definitely be yours! Good luck!