How to persuade people to do what you need – psychology?

How to persuade people using psychological techniques of manipulating mental consciousness

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The skill of persuasion is a very important skill that each of us should master, because it is really useful in many situations of life. At work, at home, and in public life, the ability to persuade and influence others is one of the main tools in achieving a goal and personal happiness.

By learning the tricks of persuasion, you will be able to tell when someone is trying to influence you with them. Even if sales consultants or advertisers want to sell unnecessary goods, your money will stay with you. The article contains techniques that can be used to manipulate the human subconscious mind.

  • The headline “FBI Agents Surrounded the Shelter of an Informal Organization Leader” creates a mental picture quite different from the one the article title “FBI Agents Raid a Small Christian Women and Children’s Gathering” evokes. Both titles are correct, but the words used change the internal images and feelings involved and thus change the meaning of the objective events one is describing. [1] X Source of Information
  • Reframing is often used by experienced politicians. For example, during debates where the topic is abortion, politicians express their views using the phrases “pro-life” (pro-choice) and “pro-choice” (pro-choice). In English, the prefix “pro-” has a positive connotation, while the prefix “anti-” is negative. Reframing involves emotionally charged words that can be used to persuade people to their point of view.
  • To formulate a persuasive argument, choose words that conjure up images (positive, negative, or neutral) in your listeners’ minds. Even along with ordinary words, one charged word can be effective.
    • Another example. Let’s illustrate the difference between the statements “If I have a cell phone, I’m safe” and “If I have a phone, I won’t have a problem.” Think about which word is more effective for your message “problem” or “safety”?

    • You can copy different hand or head gestures, or lean forward and backward. We all do this on a subconscious level, and if you pay attention, you’ll notice you’re doing the same thing.
    • Take your time – wait 2-4 seconds before repeating the action of your interlocutor. Gesture imitation is also called the “chameleon effect.

    • Know that this is a persuasion technique against which you are defenseless. Take this into account when you want to make a purchase.

    • At work – give your coworker a vote.
    • At home – lend your neighbor a lawn mower.
    • No matter where or when you do it, the important thing is to complement the relationship.

    Use time as an advantage. People usually behave cooperatively and submissively when they feel mentally tired. If you think someone won’t agree to your request, wait until they are tired. For example, if it’s work-related, you can intercept your colleague on the way home at the end of the day. Whatever you ask, the answer is likely to be, “I’ll take care of it tomorrow.”

    • To learn this trick, get the person to act before they make a decision. For example, if you’re out for a walk with a friend and you want to go to the movies and he’s hesitant, start moving toward the movie theater. The chances of going to the movies and seeing the long-awaited movie will increase if you move in the direction of the theater.

    Speak quickly. When we speak, we usually use interjections such as “hmm,” “I think” and of course the ubiquitous “so to speak.” Such speech fillers unintentionally present us in a worse light, we seem less confident and sound unconvincing as a consequence. Speak with confidence, and you can easily convince your interlocutor.

    • You can use this trick if you are seen as a leader – even if you don’t have an official title.
    • Be charming and confident and people will value your opinion.
    • If you’re dealing with someone who doesn’t see you as an authority figure (a higher rank or your significant other’s parents), you can still use “herd behavior” to your advantage.
      • Praise a leader that person admires.
      • By generating positive thoughts in that person’s mind about who they admire, you will be able to draw them to you and that person will associate those qualities with you.

      Buy or borrow the person’s “best friend. To make people think you are a loyal companion and for them to be loyal in return, put a picture of your dog on the table (it doesn’t have to be yours). You will look like a team player, but don’t get too carried away. If you display too many pictures, people will think you’re unprofessional. [2] X Source of Information

      Offer a drink. If you want to convince a person of something, offer them a hot beverage such as tea, coffee, or cocoa during the conversation. If you offer a warm drink, the person will subconsciously view you as a warm, pleasant and welcoming person. A cold drink can have the opposite effect. Generally, people feel cold and crave warm food and drink when they feel isolated from society. Satisfy their need and they will become more receptive to your words. [3] X Source of Information

      How to get people to do things your way: 6 secrets of an FBI negotiator

      A former hostage negotiator explains how to get anyone on your side.

      Photo: Duncan Odds/Flickr

      Mark Goulston has done a lot of role-playing over the past two years. He portrayed a suicidal police officer holding a gun to his neck and threatening to pull the trigger. The training involved FBI agents and police officers whose job was to dissuade him from committing suicide.

      “At the end of the game, I would usually pull the trigger and then explain what needed to be asked or said to make me back down from what I had intended,” explains Goulston, a former FBI agent and hostage rescue specialist. Today, Goulston, business consultant and best-selling author of “I Can Hear You Through. Effective Negotiation Techniques,” uses the experience he gained while working for the FBI in his training sessions for executives of major corporations like GE, IBM and Goldman Sachs.

      Goulston shared with Business Insider a few tips on how to get people — customers, colleagues, employees or even bosses — to do what you need them to do.

      1. They should do the talking.

      After you’ve asked for something – or subtly hinted that you’d like to – stop and let the person say whatever he or she wants to say. “Once he starts talking, he will discover for himself the urgency of what you are asking of him,” Goulston explains. The person will decide for himself to do what he is being asked to do, without your entreaties. If you say only you, people simply stop paying attention to your words, or take it as if they are given instructions, and they do not want to do what you want.

      2. Pay attention to adjectives and adverbs in your interlocutor’s speech

      “An adjective is a way to embellish a noun, and an adverb is a way to embellish a verb. And both of these parts of speech characterize your interlocutor’s emotional background,” Goulston explains. After the other person has spoken – even if they’ve asked you a question – pause and instead of answering, respond with, “Um…” (This will signal that you heard them and are thinking about what they said.) And then say something about the adjective or adverb the other person used.

      This will help you understand what is really meaningful to him, and it will encourage the interlocutor to pay more attention to the negotiation, which means he will have more interest in helping you.

      For example, if the person talks to you using the adjective “great” for a solution and then asks you a question, try to respond by saying, “I can answer your question, but first tell me about this great solution. This will make the person open up to you on a deeper level than when you simply answer the question asked. “The more your interlocutor opens up to you, the more closely he will listen to what you have to say,” says Goulston.

      3. Encourage them to “fill in the blanks.”

      “When you ask someone a question, you immediately trigger unconscious memories of how the person was once put in a difficult position by their parents, teachers, or coaches, and thereby put yourself in opposition to the interlocutor,” says Goulston. Then the person reflexively steps back.

      To avoid this, insert your own questions or ask to “fill in the blanks,” Goulston advises. For example, when you ask the question, “What will you do about situation X?” you sort of imply, “You’d better know the answer, or else…” This provokes confrontation. Better yet, ask in a different “I want to know” tone: “And do you plan to do about it…?”

      With this approach, you are engaging the person in the sentence you are saying, rather than asking a question that pushes the person in question to think that you are against them.

      4. appeal to positive memories

      Believe it or not, almost every time you ask a person to do something, you trigger unconscious memories. “And the trick is to trigger the positive ones, not the negative ones,” Goulston advises.

      If a person associates your request with something positive, they will be more likely to comply. Goulston once asked one of his clients why she chose him over a female trainer. She replied, “You’re like an older brother to me who protects me, smart, funny and slightly irreverent – and when you point out something worth changing in my life, instead of arguing, I listen to you and go along because I feel love and warmth in your words.”

      5. Don’t pull the blanket over yourself.

      A good way to get people to do what you want is to make them feel important. People fall into two categories, Goulston says: some, the participative ones, develop what the other person is saying and add something to it, while others pull the blanket over themselves and either take the initiative to talk about themselves or try to put themselves above the other person. “Well, it sounds like you had a pretty good trip to Florida. But we went to Fiji.”

      The first give the interlocutor to feel that his words are important, while the second leaves the impression that they are only listening in order to talk themselves, or even to belittle the person.

      For example, a participative person will say, “What a great idea! Clever and creative. We can even move on and do X if you think it would work.” And the one who pulls the blanket over himself, he will say, “You have a good idea, but I actually already told his boss his version, and he liked it, so it’s probably better to do as I suggested.

      6. Focus on the future.

      People don’t like criticism. They get defensive when you take apart those situations in which they’ve failed, Goulston says. So if you want a person to do things differently in the future, don’t dwell on the past. Rather, say, ‘I want to say that in the future I would greatly appreciate it if you could do so-and-so, it would be very helpful to the whole team.

      ‘ Let the person you’re talking to know that you appreciate their efforts, explain why it’s important to you. It makes people feel like they’re making a meaningful contribution to the big picture,” Goulston explains.

      When you’re trying to convince people, more often than not they feel like you’re trying to pressure them, says Goulston. If you focus on what they want to hear, they’ll be much more receptive to your considerations.

      Original. Translated by Joseph Furman

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      April 21, 2015 Business Insider

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