Simple tips and tricks, how to marry your favorite man
Almost every girl dreams of a wedding like in a fairy tale. She wants to create a family and live “happily ever after”. But, unfortunately, these plans coincide with the opinion of not many men. Some members of the stronger sex in no hurry to bind the bonds of marriage and get a commitment for life, but does it mean there is no love? The editorial staff of Passion.ru is trying to find out this question.
Since childhood we try on an imitation veil and arrange a toy wedding, but for boys it is all different. They are often indoctrinated with all kinds of horror stories about marriage, so they do not find good reasons for the wedding. Today, however, modern attitudes have a serious impact on this topic. In our time the stamp in the passport has lost its relevance and does not give any guarantees. Whereas in the past they fought for the heart of the beloved and sought the blessing of the parents, now it is not so important. In addition, there is a convenient format for many relationships – cohabitation. After all, a stamp in the passport is not required for life under one roof, intimacy and other actions. It seems that people already share a bed and arrange a household together, but are not legally tied to each other.
Why the man does not marry.
- The most commonplace reason for not wanting to tie the knot of marriage with a particular lady is the lack of feelings for her. He may be comfortable to meet her and live together at a certain stage, but in this case a man is usually not ready for more.
- For some, marriage means loss of freedom. It seems to these representatives of the stronger sex that a stamp in the passport will become a legal encroachment on personal space and will chain him to the household.
- Also, he is probably not ready for responsibility. Before going to the registry office, he is responsible only for himself, and after – for both of you. This state of affairs is capable of alienating the morally immature suitor.
- Perhaps he has already had a negative experience, so a man approaches such an important decision with extreme responsibility, weighing all the pros and cons. This can be a past marriage that collapsed, or a bad relationship between parents, acquaintances.
- Or he belongs to the type of men who are convinced bachelors.
Types of men who do not want to get married
First of all, a significant influence on the views of a man can have parents, because every child deserves the best. In this case, we are talking about the so-called “mama’s sons”, when the mother and / or father enjoy unhealthy authority.
Some men, even in spite of their age, are not ready to exchange freedom for the family idyll. It seems to them an unbearable challenge to carry the burden of marriage all their life.
Some people do not see the point in associating with one woman when there are so many attractive individuals around. Getting married and living together all their lives is not for them, because free relationships seem more interesting.
Shy partners are embarrassed by the fact of a serious relationship, when he is not sure of himself, his beloved and other factors. This can also include men who have already had bad experiences and are afraid of repeating the divorce procedure.
This type has not made up his mind at all. The gentleman may not be interested in different women as a womanizer, but, apparently, the ideal is still not found. For him it is important to find his dream, so he carefully looks through options.
How to understand that the intentions of a suitor are not serious?
Yes, unfortunately, not everyone is given to immediately meet the one and only one for life. Sometimes we try to save one, second and third relationship, but it all ends in failure. But some people are sent by fate not by accident, but for experience. However, there are ways by which you can find out about the non-serious intentions of a suitor. By the way, in rare cases, he himself can admit it.
To determine whether you have a future, to begin with we should simply ask the man about his plans for life. If he spoke only about himself, not once mentioned you or did not use the pronoun “we”, it is something to think about. Chances are, he already realized that your relationship will not lead to the cherished words “until death do you part”, but just does not dare to confess.
In addition, when a man understands the fragility of the union, he doesn’t see the point in getting closer. In this case, the lady is unlikely to know the loved ones of her chosen one, or at least to have seen them. In addition, he may even avoid the subject and not talk about his parents, relatives or friends. This is a red flag, as is the fact that he allows himself to communicate with other women.
Reasons for marriage in the stronger sex
Still, the most determined men will propose. And there will be several reasons for this. Among the most obvious is the presence of feelings and desire to spend the whole life with the partner. Then a man’s fear that he might lose his lady of the heart makes him get married soon, and he feels much more confident in a legalized relationship. Someone decides to take such a responsible step to fulfill the desire of his beloved, or from the realization of its exclusivity, the recognition of the ideal. In addition, he may be tired of the bachelor life, want status, to bring your home warmth and comfort or to create a family in connection with the pregnancy.
How to push your lover to an important decision
There are cases when ladies, perhaps out of desperation, go for drastic measures, such as getting pregnant. Of course, such a special situation greatly increases the chances of success, but does the girl need to get married this way? So clearly the initiative to exchange rings came from a sense of duty, responsibility and so on, but not from an absolute willingness to commit to a woman. This is how the fairer sex seals the bonds of marriage by their attachment to a common child, not to themselves.
Perhaps the surest way to do this is to talk frankly, but it doesn’t guarantee a quick payoff. Start unobtrusively finding out about his intentions. Maybe he just has not thought about marriage or postponed, because he did not know that it is important for you, or simply afraid of change and responsibilities. The main thing – if a man during the conversation did not agree with the need for the event, to put pressure on him, change his mind, to roll up the scandal and hysterics just do not. Maybe he just needs time to weigh everything up and make a decision.
And, of course, work on yourself to be interesting to the opposite sex. Develop and expand your horizons and consciousness – it will help not only to marry well, but also to succeed in other spheres of life. It is important to focus on the inner transformation, but do not forget about the appearance. Exercise, eat right, and so on. Then increase your self-esteem, which, accordingly, will attract people and interest the groom. Thus, you will know your own worth and the betrothed will certainly have a fear of losing you.
How to get a man to marry you
Usually, when entering into a romantic relationship, most women assume that their chosen one may later turn out to be their husband. However, some men do not think that the romance must necessarily evolve into an official marriage or simply do not want to rush to a proposal. How can we change that?
We are dating, but it does not call to marry
- He was already married and he still has negative impressions of the experience. Perhaps his former spouse was unfaithful or in some other parameters did not meet his idea of an ideal life partner. Whatever the case may be, the man has concluded for himself that starting a family is not always a good thing, and can lead to serious disappointments.
- He likes the feeling of freedom. In his view, marriage seriously limits a person and does not allow him to live a full life. It is likely that your chosen one has hobbies, which, in his opinion, little comparable with family life. For example, now he may break away with friends on a trip for several days, or start flirting with a girl he likes. He may not do any of these things, but he has that opportunity, and he will probably lose it in marriage.
- He’s too young. These days, many guys don’t think about building a family until they’re 25. They prefer to spend that time studying, finding “their place” in life, and then getting ready to take responsibility for someone else.
- He believes that he will not be able to create a full-fledged family. Perhaps he has problems with his financial situation, housing conditions, and the like. It is also possible that he is now actively building a career and believes that marriage will not fit into his immediate plans.
- You do not seem to him a worthy contender for the role of a spouse. Perhaps your economic skills are far from exemplary, and for your chosen one, this is an important aspect. Also, it is possible that in your relationship there is too much conflict and dissatisfaction with each other, and the guy believes that under such circumstances, getting married is stupid. It is also possible that the young man considers you too windy and for some reason not ready for marriage, even if this is not true.
What Statistics Say.
As a rule, a long-term relationship, one way or another, leads to marriage. Living with a lover under the same roof, a man is ready for her to become his wife. However, many women are not willing to live long in limbo, and it is important to them that the relationship be legitimized. If you do not care about the stamp in the passport, then probably sooner or later, you will wait for the day when your chosen one still decides to get married.
Advice from a family psychologist
Psychologists advise not to “put pressure” on the man, giving him ultimatums and throwing tantrums about his unwillingness to formalize a relationship. Realizing that you are trying to make him do something, he out of a sense of contradiction will begin to resist. Your job – to show him all the advantages of family life, and it is up to him to decide – whether he wants to propose to you or not.
How to encourage the guy to take decisive action
I want him to propose.
Try not to live with a man in a common-law marriage, giving preference to meetings on neutral territories. Explain to your lover that you have always been an opponent of cohabitation, and despite your feelings for him, you are not ready to give up your beliefs. Nevertheless, periodically spend a long time together, so that he saw what a wonderful wife in your face can lose. For example, you can go on a trip for a couple of days, living together for this period or go with friends to spend the night in nature – such situations will be a chance for you to demonstrate your skills in everyday life, to show your best side and make the guy bored after the “separation”.
Also, the boyfriend should see that you are a great candidate for starting a family. Try not to show him the negative aspects of your character and work to eradicate them – a good wife should not be grumpy, resentful, uncompromising, windy or lacking initiative. Many guys since their youth dream about what would be their ideal wife, and in these dreams, most often, she is well-groomed, beautiful, caring, passionate, charming, enthusiastic, interesting hobbies and attention. Try to get closer to this ideal, and then not only your chosen one would like to see you in the status of his wife.
To the man wants a family
Many men live by prejudice or based on their negative experience – it seems to them that the marriage does not promise any changes for the better, and only worsens the relationship. If there is a happy married couple in your vicinity, whose family you can call a model, then your companion should get acquainted with these people. Meet with couples, invite them to visit – let the example of this successful family periodically flashes before the eyes of your chosen one.
And, of course, the man should strive to spend as much time as possible with you personally. You can become an integral and most enjoyable part of his life, and the decision to marry him becomes quite natural and logical. To achieve this, take care of your chosen one, do not restrict him in sex, do not provoke him into conflict, do not throw tantrums, become his best friend and main support.
Should we force marriage, if he does not want to?
Of course, you do not need to do this! Man himself must decide to get married, and a woman has the right to only push him to do this. You can easily determine that the boyfriend does not see you as his future wife. So, what are the signs that he is not in the mood for marriage?
1. “The stamp in the passport means nothing!”
This is probably the universal phrase used by men who do not want to get married. In fact, if a stamp in the passport meant nothing, then your boyfriend would easily agree to it, and especially if you think otherwise, and for you personally the signature is important. Moreover, it is obvious that the young man is lying, because a stamp in the passport does mean something! First, it indicates a man’s readiness to take responsibility for his chosen one, about his desire to give her a sense of security and much more!
2. “We need to wait for a better time.”
If you are ready to get married without much pomp and expense, and your chosen one declares that he wants to wait for “better times,” then he is probably lying. Of course, if you require a magnificent wedding, for which you both do not have the means, then arisen “pause” is justified. But if you say that you need a simple wedding ceremony and a cozy evening in the circle of closest people, and the man plans to “collect on the wedding,” then most likely he hopes to somehow postpone the moment of marriage.
3. “Gotta solve all the problems.”
Unfortunately, problems tend to appear over and over again, yet loving people manage to create families, give birth, and raise children. If a guy offers you to “wait until your mother gets better,” then – “until the repairs are finished,” “until he finds a new job,” “until the raise wages” and the like, he just does not want to marry you. If it were otherwise, he would look for compromises with you, because you may have been quite willing to get married and in the period when he “solves the problems.
Is it possible to get married after a civil marriage
There is no unequivocal opinion on this issue, so there are both fans and opponents of civil marriage. So, what are the pros and cons of cohabitation?
- Living in a civil marriage, the woman subconsciously understands that the final choice has not been made, and it was not made by the man of their couple, who delayed the wedding or said that the stamp in the passport will not change anything.
- Most men take such marriages quite easily, and it is much easier for them to walk away from a common-law wife than from an official one.
- As a common-law wife, a woman may feel insecure about her life partner. In addition, in the company of married girlfriends, she often feels a little deprived, although she may not admit it even to herself.
- Common children of the couple is also better to be brought up in a formal marriage than in a civil one – in case of separation of spouses, they will be legally protected.
- Society, more often than not, does not take civil marriages seriously, and even after a few years of your life together, many mutual friends and relatives will not consider you a real family.
- Breaking up in such marriages is also quite easy. The common-law husband can end the relationship without going into unnecessary explanations. In a formal marriage, this would not happen – the spouses are divorced by the court, and it is the court that deals with the division of property.
- Not having lived together before marriage, many people later have to face unpleasant discoveries about their other half. It may turn out that the wife is completely unable to cope with basic household issues, and the man is used to the woman taking on the main duties of the household. Of course, most often before marriage, couples try to stipulate the basic nuances of their future life together, but theory often diverges from practice. This is the main advantage of cohabitation. If you don’t want that to happen, but you’re against civil marriage, try living together for a couple of weeks after getting engaged.
- You may want to end the relationship abruptly yourself – not having a stamp in your passport will help you avoid various legal entanglements.
- If you haven’t lived with a man before, you’re gaining experience living together in a civil marriage, which, even in the event of a breakup, will come in handy for you in the future.
How to divorce a married man and marry him
Before you divorce a married man, you will have to become his mistress. Perhaps it is difficult to find a story in which a man would dare to leave the family, just talking to another woman. If such a status does not embarrass you, you are convinced that this is the man you need and ready to move towards the desired goal, then you can help some recommendations.
1) Do not throw tantrums. If your lover’s spouse suspects that he has an affair on the side, it is likely he has enough conflict at home. It is unlikely that a man will want to change one dissatisfied woman for another – a divorce comes with certain difficulties and changes in life, and the chosen one is unlikely to go to all this, if he will consider you to be hysterical.
2) Well-groomed appearance. Many wives, after some time after marriage begin to pay less attention to their appearance. Some do not have time for this for everyday worries and household chores, others are just lazy and sincerely believe that they do not need it anymore, because they are already married. Nevertheless, a man always notices if his companion is well-groomed or not. You need to always look great on a date with her lover. Clean hair, neat manicure, regular hair removal, skin care, light makeup – all this should be on the list of rules without exception. Also, by no means forget about seductive lingerie and clothing that will maximize your virtues.
3) Intimate life. Most men go to the infidelity, being dissatisfied with the intimate side of life with his wife. Of course, in your relationship such problems should not be. Show your lover, that he is a desired man for you and you always want intimacy with him. Many women have tied to his lover is sex, realizing how important he is for most men. Naturally, it’s out of the question to deny your lover in intimacy, being dissatisfied with something or trying to manipulate him that way. This kind of behavior will not attract you to him, it will only alienate you.
4) The image of a possible wife. Well, of course, you should show that you are good not only as a mistress, but also as a possible wife. While dating a man, show him your skills in everyday life, mention any household chores you have done recently. The man should not have the impression that you are beautiful, well-groomed and always in a good mood because you are not loaded with household chores. On the contrary, let him know that all of these positive qualities coexist with yet another of your virtues – housekeeping. But at the same time show your chosen one that cooking and taking care of the house you get easily and naturally, and do not hinder you to develop in other directions. Such a discovery will give you a significant advantage over his wife.
Pregnancy – a reason for marriage.
If we are not talking about a married lover, but about your common-law husband or boyfriend, pregnancy significantly increases the chances of marriage. Of course, if your future child will be conceived outside of the marriage, then be prepared for the fact that the situation may not turn out the most favorable way for you personally. If a man has never been in the mood for a wedding in the registry office, the prospect of becoming a father may even alienate him.
Most often, however, things are different. Man long can not decide what he wants, but the message that his beloved is expecting a baby boy, can spur him on to action. He may come to this decision on his own, he may be pressured by the public in the face of relatives or for a couple it will be a logical outcome, which was negotiated earlier.
In addition, if before a man preferred to live in some incomplete certainty, then after the news that his beloved woman will soon give birth to a child, he is likely to change their minds. If you want to have a baby and you know that your chosen one would also like to become a father, it is likely that the pregnancy will bring only positive changes in your life together. Most often, a man needs some “impetus” to make a proposal to his beloved, and the news that soon the beloved will give birth to a child from him – a sufficient reason for this.
Magical incantations for an early wedding
Some girls eventually despair of obtaining a marriage proposal from your beloved, so they decide to resort to magical rites. If you sincerely believe that the rituals can give you a long-awaited marriage, then you can resort to this magical advice: after another’s wedding, which you will attend, try immediately after the celebration to get the shoes in which the bride was.
When you wash those shoes at night in the street, invoke:
If you want to get a good impression of me, put a lock on your mouth. Amen.
It is possible, that exactly this ritual will help you to achieve the intended purpose.