How not to cry when you want to
Tears are a natural human reaction to various events. They can provoke both grief and joy. But while some people cry only for the cause, others are so sentimental that tears come to their eyes both for the cause and without it. This makes a person feel uncomfortable at times, that he cannot control his feelings. What can you do to stop crying for no reason? There are many different methods to help restrain emotions, everyone can choose what suits him.
Why do people cry?
Tears are the fluid that the lacrimal gland secretes. It consists of water, salt, calcium, magnesium and sodium carbonate. In addition, tears contain a special enzyme, lysozyme, which has antibacterial properties, and oleamide, an oily substance that prevents the evaporation of moisture from the surface of the mucosa.
Tears perform several functions at the same time. There are no blood vessels on the cornea, so they supply it with nutrients. In addition, they moisturize and wash the eye, cleansing it of impurities. Those tears that are produced in small amounts all the time are called reflex tears. Those that come out of your eyes when you experience something are called emotional tears. Studies have found a close connection between the tear ducts and the part of the brain responsible for emotion.
It used to be thought that only humans could have emotional tears. But studies have shown that many animals also cry when they are emotionally disturbed.
What to do if you want to cry, but you can’t
Women are especially emotional. Their vulnerable soul reacts with tears to any experience or joy. Tears in many cases are just necessary, they allow to relieve unnecessary stress and get rid of stress. However, there are situations where crying is strictly forbidden. In these situations, tears may lead to a completely different effect:
- In exams. Sometimes a student studied all night long material, but it seems to him that the teacher picks on him too much and wants to put a bad mark in his report card, so how not to cry? In this case the tears should be restrained, because the teacher will think that the tickets were not learned and the student is trying to cause self-pity.
- At a job interview. Sometimes employers conduct stressful interviews by asking inappropriate questions and making applicants very nervous. Some managers have their own recruitment tactics; already during the interview, they find out the person’s resistance to stress.
- You should not cry on the street where there are a lot of people. It happens that the unpleasant information was received exactly during the walk and one wants to sob. But it is not necessary to do this, as the surrounding people will not be able to help, but the attention of various fraudsters may be attracted.
There are a lot of situations where the tears will be inappropriate. In order not to give the impression of a weak person or a hysterical woman, it is necessary to learn to control your emotions. To be able not to cry when you really want to is difficult, but quite doable for every person.
To avoid crying when slicing onions, place the bulb in the freezer for 5 minutes before peeling. In this case, essential oils will not be released strongly.
Physical methods of influence on the body
To avoid crying at an inopportune moment, psychologists recommend focusing on your breathing. You can begin to count your breath or raise your chin slightly upward, take a few deep breaths through your mouth and exhale through your nose. In addition to this, there are several other techniques that help prevent crying:
- You should drink a couple of sips of water or cold tea. If you don’t have any of these at hand, just swallow the saliva vigorously a couple of times. This helps to quickly eliminate the lump standing in the throat.
- You can change the position of the body. Here you need to act according to the situation; you can just move a stack of papers from one place to another, move to another chair, or stand up and take a few steps. All this helps to distract your attention from your worries.
- You can pinch yourself hard on the arm or leg. You can take care of the problem by clutching your fingers tightly together.
- A shift of gaze may also help, for example, looking at a picture hanging at the other end of the room.
You should keep in mind that all of these methods will be useless if the tears are caused by a tiny particle in your eye, an allergy or fatigue. In this case it is better to apologize, get out of the room and tidy up. To do this you can take medication for allergies or just wash your face with cold water.
In order that the bad mood does not pursue the whole day, you should drink hot tea after an unpleasant conversation or sincerely smile to yourself several times in the mirror.
In order not to cry at the most inopportune moment, you need to think about something that will occupy all your attention. Psychologists recommend the use of such techniques:
- Start repeating the multiplication table or think up and solve a math problem. This will not only allow you to distract yourself, but also include in the work of the left hemisphere, which is responsible for all calculating operations. At the same time, emotions are controlled by the right hemisphere of the brain. But if both hemispheres work at the same time, there will be no time for emotions.
- You may remember and sing a funny children’s song to yourself. Any poems will do, but they should be filled with positive emotions.
- If the desire to cry causes a conversation with an unpleasant person, you can imagine him or her in a funny and awkward situation. The desire to cry will immediately disappear, but here the main thing is not to laugh, because the effect can be unpredictable.
- Some people in unpleasant situations just smile all the time. For some people, this may seem strange, but such tactics are justified if you need to hold back tears.
- You can mentally motivate yourself not to cry. Self-humiliation will help to do this, you need to constantly repeat that you need to keep yourself in control, under any circumstances.
- To quickly stop crying for no reason, you can recall a comic situation. Overly sentimental people should think through a few really funny situations in advance and remember them on occasion.
Think of a reason for the people around you.
If it is impossible to hold back tears, it is possible to think up a reason for those around and to cry in plenty. You can explain the tears by the following factors:
- A headache, as well as pain in your leg, arm, or whatever.
- Allergies. Everyone knows that allergies make your eyes very watery. That is, you can say that an allergic attack is caused by the smell of perfume products, and cry softly.
- By getting a pickle in the eye. This would help explain the red and moist eyes.
Trauma to the visual organs can also be the cause of the tears. An accidental branch in the eye can explain the tears.
In addition, using eye drops can be a good explanation. Many of them have a side effect such as tearing.
In some cases, you should not hold back tears, whether they are from joy or grief. This will help to normalize the state of mind. And there is no need to explain something to someone, we are all human and have the right to feel. Sometimes people just need someone to talk to, and a good friend or girlfriend is good for this.
When it is worth taking medication
In some cases, it is necessary not to try to contain the crying, but as soon as possible to take medication. It is necessary to do this in these cases:
- In allergies. In this case, crying may only be the first symptom. In severe allergic reactions, Quincke’s edema is possible.
- If a person has a depressive state, he needs to take antidepressants. They can only be bought with a doctor’s prescription.
Sometimes you just need to hold back the tears. It is not difficult to do this if you know certain techniques. In some cases, a sincere smile helps to distract from crying.
How to hold back the tears? Tips from psychologists
People cry from the very first day of life – it is a natural reaction of our body to stress. The reason for tears is a sense of deep grief, resentment, disappointment. Pity and compassion, pride and sincere joy can also cause tears. Psychologists agree that it is healthy to cry. However, there are situations in life when to cry means to lose, to show weakness and vulnerability. What to do when you must restrain yourself at all costs, you will learn from this article.
In what situations do you need to restrain yourself?
Women are often called crybabies. Yes, our agile psyche responds to any emotional shock. We cry from feelings that overwhelm us. Tears are necessary. They help us cope with stress, and dampen negative emotions. Tears of sympathy are especially good for us, as they heal not only our bodies but also our souls.
But there are situations where there is no way to cry.
Here are some of them:
- In an exam . You think that the teacher picks on you too much and decided to give you a “D” in your report card at any cost. And you are tired and studied all night. Tears of resentment well up in your eyes. It is impossible to hold back these tears. In this situation you can not cry categorically. Why? A small child by crying causes pity for himself, attracts attention. By crying, it gives a signal: I am weak, have pity on me. In an exam, crying is likely to cause the opposite reaction. Crying means that he does not know anything, did not learn, is trying to pity. To be with the teacher as an equal, you need to show that you are an adult and know how to restrain yourself.
- At a job interview . At a job interview, you are asked a lot of questions that you think are inappropriate, making you emotional and nervous. The fact is that the employer has his own idea of what kind of employee he needs. In order to check if a job seeker is resistant to stress and unforeseen situations, a so called stress interview is conducted. Crying is the worst thing you can do in this situation. This is to show your weakness and unsuitability for the job you are applying for. If you need the job, you should definitely hold back tears when talking to the employer;
- In the street in a large crowd of people . There are times when an unexpected unpleasantness catches you unprepared. An accident happened, a loved one left you. The natural way out in such a case is sobbing and bitter tears. It is not necessary to cry on the street. This will cause unnecessary attention of strangers. Passers-by will hardly be able to help you. But the con artists who take advantage of a person’s vulnerable state, will not pass you by.
It is undeniable that there are many situations in which you need to restrain yourself. You have faced them more than once. How to hold back the flow of tears at the wrong time, and control your emotions?
How to learn to restrain the tears: psychologists’ tips
- Shift your focus. If the tears are already rolling in your eyes and you need to restrain them, you can mentally ask yourself one of the following questions: “Did I turn off the iron?” , “Did the neighbors flood me?” . Psychologists call these questions “adrenaline questions” . A sharp release of adrenaline in the blood will change your emotions, and you will not cry.
- Activate your imagination. Imagine your abuser in a funny and ridiculous way.
- Or try the “substitution method” – you are the boss, and the boss is you. How many kind words would you say to him? Here, the main thing is not to overdo it. Loud laughter in such a situation is also inappropriate.
Physical ways not to cry
- Change your body position. If you are sitting, you can stand up, take several steps, move a chair, rearrange your papers. Act according to the situation;
- Breathe slowly and deeply, straighten your shoulders, lift your head up;
- Clench and unclench your fingers. You can pinch yourself in the palm of your hand;
- Ask for water, take several deep, slow sips;
- Look away, into the distance, or at a picture hanging on the wall.
If you are going to cry for a physical reason: you have watery eyes from fatigue, dust or a grain of dust, allergies to harsh smells, then these measures will not help you. In this situation, the best way out is to apologize and try to eliminate the cause of the tears. Take medication, rinse your eyes, go out into the fresh air.
So that the negative mood after an unpleasant conversation will not follow you all day, take emergency measures:
- Immediately wash your face with cold water;
- read to yourself. If possible, read aloud a cheerful nursery rhyme;
- go to the mirror, through the strength of a smile, then another. You can do this until the smile becomes natural;
- Drink hot, sweet tea.
In case you sob very often on the slightest occasion and it is very difficult for you to restrain tears, see a doctor. Probably, you have a health problem. It can be stress, chronic fatigue, thyroid disease.
If the tears come to your eyes in a natural situation: with joy, grief, compassion, you can not hold them back. We cry because we are human beings and are capable of experiencing strong emotions.
Remain always human – weep for health!
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