How to make up with your lover?

How to make up with a guy

Even in the strongest relationships, people in love can quarrel for different reasons – from a banal bad mood to unforgivable treason or even betrayal. But if feelings are still alive and you value them, you should not just abandon the quarrel and allow it to worsen, it is worth trying to reconcile and save a strong relationship between you. The following tips for sure help to get on the path of reconciliation and restore the warmth of your and a young man love affairs.

In what cases is possible to reconcile after a quarrel

Of course, you should go for reconciliation when your relationship is strong and serious enough, and the quarrel is not connected with something serious like betrayal or treason. There are unforgivable situations – and they really shouldn’t be forgiven, because then they are very likely to be repeated in the future. But in any normal relationship, people sometimes quarrel because of their different characters and perspectives on life, so this kind of petty quarrels shouldn’t ruin your relationship.

If there are still mutual feelings, sympathy and affection

In cases where your situation was complicated and the quarrel is based on a serious problem, but between you are still mutual feelings and love, it is worth it to give each other a chance. It is possible that you just need to talk thoroughly and together come to the most correct solution to mend the quarrel and avoid negative consequences. Even if before the reconciliation it will take some time to wait and be alone – it’s okay. The main thing is that afterwards you will be able to openly tell each other everything and return your feelings to relevance.

The fight wasn’t serious.

There are also times when the quarrel happened on nothing. For example, the young man had a difficult day at work and on the background of a bad mood he snapped and yelled at the girl. These moments need to be able to forgive and forget, because these quarrels are not too serious and are not worth that you and your young man spend your time, energy and nerves on them.

Other situations

Other situations are possible, when it is just important to make up and it is worth it. For example, if you quarreled because you haven’t seen each other for a long time and missed each other too much. Sometimes this also leads to a fight. It is important to properly assess the seriousness of the situation, to weigh all the pros and cons in order to make an informed decision about the need to reconcile and continue the relationship.

How to reconcile with the guy you love if you broke up

Serious problems in a relationship most often escalate into a major fight and, as a result, a breakup. These are not uncommon situations where people on the background of a bad mood and negative from a quarrel say a lot of bad things to each other, think and act mostly on emotions, without turning to common sense and memories of what a long and strong relationship they had with the person with whom the quarrel has now occurred.

But even after a breakup in the background of a quarrel, there is always a chance to go for reconciliation and try to restore your feelings and love by giving it another chance. At the same time, depending on the situation, the need for behavior may be different.

What to do if he does not write after the breakup

If a guy doesn’t write or call you anymore after your breakup, it doesn’t mean he’s over her. It is quite possible that he is experiencing a lot of pain from the breakup, or he just doesn’t know where to start a correspondence or conversation, although he really wants to try to start over. Men take relationship breakups very hard, so you should give the young man a few days to emotionally move away from unpleasant thoughts and calm down, “cool down”. After that you can write to him first: either something neutral to start a conversation, or openly start right away with the words that the fight was not so serious to break up and you need to meet, talk and try to restore your relationship. As a rule, a man is willing to respond if a girl writes to him first with a proposal to try another chance together.

How to get back my lover, if everything is my fault.

It is possible that the girl herself may also be to blame for the quarrel and the breakup. It is typical for the fairer sex to commit acts of emotion – after showing off, she could tell the guy that they are breaking up, and the next day she was already sorry about it. In such a situation the main thing for the girl is to be able to admit her wrongdoing and inform the young man. It will be best to talk about it in person, but if it is difficult to find the words, you can call or write a long message with an explanation. In this case, do not try to justify yourself or shift the blame on someone else – only by admitting your own wrongdoing, you can show the person that for his sake you know how to open your weaknesses.

What to do if he is guilty and does not admit his mistake

Unfortunately, there are cases of quarrels when the fault lies in a mistake or the behavior of a young man, which led to the breakup. But the guy stubbornly refuses to admit his mistake, denies it or even shifts the blame to the girl. It is worth reflecting on: what is the reason for this behavior? If a man is afraid to take responsibility, even in an ordinary quarrel, is it worth relying on him in the future and to build strong relationships? If the conversation face to face did not help you, you can put the guy an ultimatum: either a certain period of time he will be ready to admit his guilt and the first to go to a reconciliation, or after this period (if it will not respond), you finally put a stop to your relationship and not go to their resumption. Otherwise, he will think that you will be ready to write off any of his mistakes in order to be with him, and this situation at moments of quarrels will be repeated endlessly, and he will always feel innocent.

Should a girl write or call first after a fight?

The main question that torments any girl after a quarrel with a young man, should she write or call him first? Would it be okay or is it not customary for a girl to make the first steps? Very often the reason that even the strongest relationships could not be restored is a simple human pride. And, more often than not, it is excessive. If the relationship with this guy is dear to the girl, she should discard all her prejudices and call the young man first. This will let the guy know that his girlfriend is still thinking about him, thinking about the relationship and reconciliation. You don’t have to start a conversation right away by finding out the reasons for the quarrel – you can start with a neutral topic: to find out how the guy is doing and his health, whether he has solved any of his recent problems. And gradually you can translate the conversation to the fact that you regret that quarrel, that you need to give each other a chance and try to return everything.

To sum up: if a girl is ready to fight for a relationship and wants to continue – you need and can call first, discarding your fears, because sometimes a man is afraid much more than you. Prejudices and fears are not worth losing dear to you forever for the sake of them.

How and what to write to the guy if he is very offended

If a young man is very offended, it means that the girl has managed to seriously hurt his feelings or ego. To restore a peaceful relationship, you can try to initiate the first communication after a quarrel in correspondence by sms or in social networks. And here the girl has a question, what can you write to the guy to move the conversation to the subject of reconciliation.

First of all, it is very important to admit your guilt and sincerely apologize to the young man for the rudeness said or the actions committed. Such a first step is sure to melt the ice in his heart. If you live together, you can as a gesture of reconciliation meet him from school or work with a romantic dinner over which you can talk in a pleasant environment and make up.

Your conversation should not start with reproaches or remarks about the past quarrel – otherwise there is a risk that instead of reconciliation you will only quarrel even more. Better talk about the good aspects of each other and your relationship, emphasize what you need to keep them and what you’re willing to do together.

You can also write him a nice text message with a declaration of love and emphasize that you love him despite all your problems and quarrels. This is also a good option.

I really want to make up with my ex – what to do

Sometimes, even after a long period of separation, a girl may realize that her feelings for her ex-boyfriend have not cooled down and would like to try to restore the relationship. Chances are always there, but to make attempts to reconcile will need to be different, depending on what note you and the young man broke up.

The guy does not want to make up and avoids me

A young man often avoids meeting with his girlfriend after the breakup. This is understandable: he does not want to experience feelings after your breakup, he does not want to refresh the memory of your pleasant moments, especially if the breakup was not his initiative. The girl in this case it is important to begin to remind unobtrusively of yourself – for example, randomly appear in the same places where the young man, or begin to communicate with his friends and take interest in the affairs and health of the young man. Then the ex-boyfriend is sure to notice that you are still interested in him.

A rival prevents the resumption of the relationship

When your ex-boyfriend has a sympathetic rival (he might just be interested in her, or they’re already officially dating), it makes things difficult. In conversations with your ex-boyfriend you should put unobtrusive emphasis on your strengths, and if you know your rival’s weaknesses, use them to make yourself look better in her light. For example, if your rival is not a good cook, you can tell your ex-boyfriend that you have mastered new and interesting dishes. But you should not insult your rival – this will not show you at your best in the eyes of the young man.

In this situation, you have a good advantage – you know the character and habits of the guy much better than the rival. So you can more easily understand what topics to avoid and what will be the most profitable to talk about. In addition, you can always discreetly remind him of your pleasant moments together, which also subconsciously motivate people to think about the possibility of resuming the old relationship.

If a man has fallen out of love, is there a chance for reconciliation?

One of the reasons for the breakup of the relationship is that the man may have simply fallen out of love with you. Unfortunately, this happens and even the strongest feelings can cool down over time. But if you want to make up, it’s worth trying to bring a man to good memories of your shared moments. Also, pay attention to yourself: it is possible that the guy fell in love with you because of poor appearance or bad habits. Now in his eyes you should always look irresistible to get his interest again. It will be useful and frank talk – you can openly ask the man why he fell out with you and whether there is a chance that this is a temporary cooled feelings that can be restored.

After the breakup he does not want to make up

It is possible that after a breakup, an ex-boyfriend does not want to make up and here the main task for the girl is to find out what the reason for this reluctance. He may be very offended by your unforgivable behavior, too timid for the first step towards reconciliation or does not consider it necessary to resume your relationship. Once you understand the reason, you need to fix it: to apologize for their behavior, find out the shortcomings of your relationship and agree on how to overcome them. Also the guy often does not want to make up because the girl was too harsh with him and literally blew him off at the moment of quarrel. Young people take such rejections painfully and decide not to make up in order not to get another rejection.

If he considers me a friend, how to win him back

In rare cases, a guy and a girl remain friends after a breakup. But what to do if a girl wants to win this young man again and establish a relationship with him? First of all, you need to find out from this guy’s friends and acquaintances what kind of girls he is attracted to, and start matching up with such a girl. It is also important to keep your “zest” and in some moments remain mysterious to the young man, this will be the main difference from a friendship relationship – in friendship people know each other very well, and the girl you love should always be studied and conquered. Also, you should not discuss with this young man all your problems and domestic issues to leave behind intrigue. And of course, a personal conversation will be important, in which you should openly say or at least hint that you see this guy not only as a friend, but expect something more.

Top ways to make up

When your own imagination fails you can use the top most popular ways to make up. One of them is sure to produce positive results.

1. A heart-to-heart talk with an apology.

Proven over the years, the most faithful and reliable way is a heart-to-heart talk, during which you can apologize to each other, find the cause of your quarrel and eliminate it. No correspondence or phone call can replace the warmth you feel during a face-to-face conversation.

2. Enlist the help of friends, acquaintances, relatives

If you can’t make up by yourself or don’t have the courage, you can try to do it through your mutual friends or through your relatives. With the young person’s family, you can talk about what he said about your quarrel and how he feels about what happened. You can find out his character traits that you didn’t know about before and use that to reconcile.

3. Send him a love photo, a text message, a song.

Your cute pictures with your love and apology, or you can send him a nice text message or theme song will work great as a sign of reconciliation. Surely the young man will appreciate your unusual approach and respond to your photo or message – and this is an occasion to continue the conversation, talk and eventually make up.

4. Remind unobtrusively of former pleasant moments.

Joint memories are very good bring people together – a common walk in the park, a trip to the movies, a cozy evening at home, anything that is pleasant to remember. Therefore, at the time of the quarrel is very important to remind your boyfriend how good you are together and how much you have achieved together. These memories should not be intrusive and sound with some reproach, they should be said from the heart to touch the young man.

5. Make his dream come true.

The original and proven way to make up with a young man is to fulfill his dream. This will emphasize that even in moments of quarrels, you are thinking about his interests and his happiness. If he dreamed of flying in a hot air balloon – dare, in such an unusual walk through the air you will definitely forget about all the quarrels. If his dream is some thing, buy it and give it to the young man to please him. Be sure to accompany your gift with the words that you would not want to lose him and quarrels, and this gift is the first step to your peaceful life.

6. Become a better person and fall in love with yourself.

The best way that will not only benefit your relationship, but you yourself as a person. Your fight can be used as an excuse to improve yourself. If you have bad habits – get rid of them, if you quarrelled because of your mistakes – learn not to do similar things in the future. This option will definitely help you not only to reconcile, but also to get to know each other closer, to raise your level of trust.

How to reconcile with a guy after a quarrel: six steps on the way to reconciliation

There is no such girl or woman, who at least once in their lives have not experienced deep regret and frustration about the quarrel with your loved one, which they themselves initiated. And then would not have puzzled over how to make up with a guy, biting his elbows and feverishly thinking of where to start the conversation.

Fights as an indicator of a relationship

In general, quarrels are an integral part of any relationship. The question is what kind of quarrels they are and how often they happen. If it is a minor quarrel on domestic grounds or too emotional exchange of opinions on a theme that is not fundamental and defining in your relationship, then nothing bad will happen even if you have disagreements.

However, if the quarrels are strong, frequent, protracted, accompanied by insults and extend to all different sides of your relationship, then you should seriously think about whether it is the relationship. Does it make sense to make up for them?

Whose side is the ball.

It is not always possible to unequivocally establish whose fault the quarrel was. To one degree or another in the conflict there is the fault of both participants. If the one who initiated the quarrel is a girl, then the initiative to reconcile is hers. Come to terms with the first – not a sign of weakness. So you not only take responsibility for yourself, but also to show maturity, do not hesitate to recognize the importance of the relationship with your beloved man.

But if the rift is his fault, not every girl has enough worldly wisdom, tolerance, and just the desire to initiate a process of reconciliation. But if you show generosity and make it clear that you are willing to accept apologies and start a dialogue, smart man will certainly grab the opportunity to improve the relationship.

Take a break after a quarrel

If you managed to get into a big fight and make a mess, have to take a pause before you do anything. Do not hurry, cool yourself, put in order of thought, and let your partner come to his senses. If you will act “hot on their heels,” you run the risk of being unheard and misunderstood, or worse, rejected.

But it is also not worth too much time, otherwise your chosen one will think that you do not need it and had a fight on purpose in order to break the relationship.

So about what time interval we are talking about? According to the recommendations of psychologists – about 4 hours for minor conflicts and not less than 4 days for major quarrels, except for the rupture of relations. But about this we will talk a little later.

While the forced pause continues, work on yourself. Try to achieve internal balance, work through the existing complexes and negative qualities and try to get rid of them, and then stop the flow of thoughts and switch to the care of your appearance.

Think about how to seduce a guy anew with a beautiful hairstyle or spectacular hair color, pamper yourself with cosmetic procedures and skin and hair care. Make your image even more attractive to touch the most sensitive strings of your soul lover, because men are known to love eyes.

Let’s analyze now five ways to make up.

Method 1: sincerely talk and apologize.

After you have cooled down and analyzed your feelings, try to start a dialogue. Call him and find out if he is willing to meet with you to discuss the situation. Let him know that you realized your mistakes and are willing to fix them.

In a conversation with your loved one needs to be sincere. Do not try to play down your part of the blame and shift responsibility for the conflict on your partner. But do not dramatize the situation. Listen carefully to the other party and try to look at the situation through his eyes.

Treat his opinion with respect and understanding. Be patient, let him talk and try to keep your emotions under control, even if you don’t agree with his point of view. Your task is not to blow up into another quarrel.

Method 2: Write a letter

Sometimes it can be difficult to say out loud your thoughts and feelings. Not all of us have sufficient eloquence and the gift of persuasion. And sometimes you and your loved one is at a distance and do not have the opportunity to talk normally. In this case, gather your thoughts and write a letter to his loved one with the words of reconciliation will be a good way out.

I think that the possibilities of epistolary genre are deeply underestimated in the modern world of electronic ways of communication. By correspondence, of course, if you manage to drag her interlocutor into it, it is possible to determine his mood and assess your chances for reconciliation.

Some girls try to express their regrets by text message and send an apology such as “I’m sorry if it was my fault. It doesn’t work that way because:

  • not the fact that your message will even be read;
  • brevity is, of course, the sister of talent, but not in this case.

I’m not saying that you should describe your “walk in agony” in three volumes, but a moderately concise, touching e-mail with sincere remorse and warm words is quite capable of softening your lover’s heart and help you overcome indecision and shyness.

What to do if he does not write you back, does not call and does not show up in any way? Wait. The time for your decisive action has not yet come.

When you write or talk about the problem that caused the quarrel, discuss only what is directly relevant to the situation. Do not recall all the accumulated offense “from Christmas Day” to the present.

Method 3. Give a gift or surprise

Men no less than women love gifts and surprises. You can guess what will please your boyfriend and give him pleasure, right? A membership to the gym, tickets to a sports match, a concert of your favorite artist, an interesting exhibition or a tour can bring as much joy as expensive gifts.

If you are able to organize a short trip for a couple of days to historical sites or a relaxation tour with spa treatments for two – this is generally ideal, a change of scenery will benefit both of you. And it will be easier to discuss problems on neutral territory.

In my opinion, a good solution would be a cozy, carefully chosen restaurant with good food and a chamber atmosphere where no one will disturb your conversation. This way you discuss the problems and enjoy the meal. Still, do not forget that “the way to a man’s heart is through the stomach.

You can cook a luxurious dinner at home and invite your loved one to the “negotiations” in a quiet home environment. Then you have an opportunity to show your imagination and surprise your chosen one with your extraordinary culinary talents.

Messages on the theme of “Honey, we are having a baby” save for a more appropriate time. As an argument for a reconciliation is better not to use such news – they are in a “peacetime” is capable to plunge a man into shock, and in a state of discord and may be perceived as blackmail.

Tip 4. Just a good reminder

It’s much more appropriate to remind your loved one of the beautiful moments your relationship has been filled with. You can e-mail or send him a touching collage of photos of you together. Or invite him to a special place that is meaningful to both of you.

Let the chosen one know that you cherish in your soul your romantic story and it is worth it to throw away your own pride for the sake of it and mend a relationship marred by discord.

Is Reconciliation Possible After a Breakup

Sometimes a rift develops into a big quarrel or, worse, into a breakup. The reasons for this can be very different – from the banal misunderstanding, unwillingness to listen to the other party and to compromise to treason and betrayal.

You argued and separated, and after some time, sometimes quite a long time, you suddenly began to think, but is it possible to reconcile with a former lover after the breakup? It is possible. But the question – is it necessary?

Before you start anything, try to distract yourself and assess your feelings. Sort yourself out and think about why you want to resume the relationship, and whether it is a sign of your own weakness and fear of change. Maybe you haven’t noticed how you got frozen in this hopeless relationship, stopped developing spiritually, and lost yourself altogether?


Whatever quarrel you have with your lover, don’t panic – almost everything can be fixed. Do not let pride rule you, but do not lose your sense of dignity.

And if you think that all efforts are in vain, remember King Solomon – one of the greatest and wisest rulers of Israel. Legend has it that on his ring was written, “All things pass. This too shall pass.”

And you, dear readers and especially female readers, do you often have to show wisdom and patience in your relationships with your loved ones in times of discord? Share your precious experiences with us in the comments.

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