How to reconcile with a girl: proven ways
Quarrels and resentments – an integral part of the relationship between guys and girls. They entail rifts. To find compromises, to ask for forgiveness, to forgive the offender must be able to. Therefore, men need to know how to make up with the girl, what actions to take necessarily, and what is better to abandon.
After a strong quarrel
Strong insults and quarrels often lead to a breakup in a couple. To reconcile with a girl after such a scandal, you will have to put a lot of effort, especially if she does not want to talk or meet.
The algorithm of actions can be as follows:
- Analyze the situation. Recall the reason for the quarrel, your own and her behavior.
- Recognize the mistakes made, rude phrases that should not have been uttered.
- Choose a time for a frank conversation. It is better to appoint a meeting on 2-3 days after the quarrel.
- No matter which one of you is at fault, go to the reconciliation first.
- Ask for forgiveness for mistakes made, rudeness, rudeness.
- Discuss the reason for the quarrel.
- If possible, point out to the girl her mistakes in conversation or behavior.
- Listen to the other half’s point of view. At this point it is better to be silent, to let her speak out and to support her with the words: “I understand that you are angry; I understand you,” and so on.
- At the end of the conversation, take her hand, remember romantic moments that are important to your couple. Promise not to fight anymore at all.
- After the conversation, let her know that you are going to leave, you don’t want to take up her time. If the girl decides to forgive, she will try to keep you. If she doesn’t stop and lets you leave, then she needs more time to make the right decision.
Reconciliation after a major quarrel is impossible without pauses. When your girlfriend is offended, does not want to meet to talk, show your love through social networks, texts. Ask about the affairs, how you feel, offer to go to university together, walk your dog, send touching pictures and virtual gifts. Be sure to tell her that you miss her, that you love her, that you understand her guilt.
Reconcile with your girlfriend after a big quarrel and resentment helps tact, attention and composure. If you manage to avoid parting, your relationship will become even stronger.
If she doesn’t want to talk
If a girl does not want to talk, hurt badly, you can not quickly and easily make up. In this case, follow the advice of psychologists:
- Do not rush to make amends immediately after the quarrel. Emotions are raging, hurt the woman’s feelings, let her breathe out, cool down.
- After a couple of days gently remind yourself. Do it through a nice sms with wishes for a good morning, good night. Do not insist on a conversation and a meeting.
- Send your girlfriend flowers, a nice gift by courier.
- Try to arrange a meeting on neutral territory. Consent on her part is a good sign.
- Do not start the conversation by talking about the past quarrel. Show your beloved that you missed her, try to get a hug, a kiss.
- When she thaws a little, ask for forgiveness for the offense. When the relationship is heated to the limit, the girl is ready to go to extreme measures and break up with the guy, the main thing is not in a hurry. And the refusal of the dialogue and the meeting to talk is a reason to panic. In this case, you need to act carefully.
If a girl does not want a relationship
You can use the rules of gradual rapprochement with the girl. In this case, the stronger the quarrel, the longer the period of separation will be. While the relationship is quiet, behave like this:
- Do not pursue the girl with offers to communicate, to talk.
- Don’t make an informational spam of messages and calls.
- Consider the quarrel situation from all sides. Put yourself in the girl’s place.
- When your beloved cools down, it may even take a few months, start gently reminding yourself. First in correspondence, then calls, “chance meetings”.
- Think of a speech for a sincere conversation. It should be short, clear, without too much snot. You can practice in front of a mirror.
- Take care of your appearance. Come to meetings neat, attractive. The girl has to understand who she lost.
- Listen to your beloved’s claims, do not argue.
- After everyone has spoken out, talk about something else, set your beloved on a positive note.
- At the end of the date, find the right words to help bring the relationship back. For example, confess your love, that you missed her a lot, that you often dream about her.
If the above points are fulfilled, and the girl is still unavailable, avoids talking, does not agree to resume the relationship, do not despair. Determination, self-confidence – your main aides. Try to reach her heart repeatedly, if the feeling of love is alive in both.
Building a relationship after adultery – a complex and lengthy process. Girls are difficult to forgive the betrayal, to trust the guy again. Apologize for the betrayal should be as follows:
- Do not expect the girl to forgive you immediately.
- Do not make excuses, admit the fact of treason.
- Give your partner time to cool down.
- If the girl does not want to talk, record a video message or write a letter on facebook.
- Prove that you feel shame and guilt for the transgression.
- If you get a chance to continue the relationship, behave perfectly.
Often couples are difficult and long experience the fact of infidelity, girls are constantly reminded of the misconduct of their beloved, tormenting themselves and the guy. In this case, you will need the help of a family psychologist.
If you hit
In forums and chat rooms for men, the question is often discussed : “How can you quickly make up with a girl if you hit her at the moment of a quarrel?” Of course, rudeness and aggression on the part of the stronger sex is unacceptable. Hand-wringing strongly affects the self-esteem of women, it is very difficult to forgive.
If you commit this fatal mistake, then to make up for the guilt will help bright displays of tenderness, care, affection, a demonstration of love. But to return the trust at once just do not succeed, so be patient.
After the breakup
Reconcile with the girl after the breakup is very difficult. The main condition will be the reciprocity of the partner’s feelings, as well as the absence of strong resentment, treason in the couple. The main way to solve the problem and reunite again is a frank conversation. Build the conversation according to this plan:
- Find out how much distance has arisen between you as a result of the separation.
- Make sure that feelings are not gone, the relationship is still needed.
- Determine what was the reason for the separation. Identify and talk through all the resentment, frustration, so that the relationship will not cause more rifts because of miscommunications.
- Establish contact with the girl, take her hand, hug her.
- Be sincere, falsity and flattery will be enemies at the moment of the heart-to-heart talk.
- Promise that the new stage of the relationship will be better than the previous one.
- Be grateful to the girl for a second chance. It is given to you in order to be able to rebuild a trusting relationship, to show your best side.
When the danger of a final breakup has passed, bond with your partner. Find a common hobby, visit a marriage counselor, spend more time together, talk about minor issues at once. The more common ground you find, the stronger will be your love, your marriage.
If it is her fault
The opinion that the girls are always right and it is better not to argue with the other half, it will come out to the guy wrong. It is for this reason women often do not admit their mistakes, they get used to the fact that the man himself will come to her and ask for forgiveness, even without guilt. This position entails the following difficulties in the relationship:
- The girl inadequately evaluates her behavior, so she continues to behave “badly” without thinking about her partner’s feelings.
- A man with an egocentric woman feels uncomfortable, his self-esteem gradually decreases.
- Permissiveness leads to fatal acts, provoking the final separation.
To avoid these difficulties in your couple, teach your girlfriend to be aware of the mistakes. To establish a relationship with a girl in this situation can be as follows:
- Do not rush to run with apologies.
- After a couple of days, when she understands that you are offended, clearly and concisely state the claim.
- Talk through the situation in a calm atmosphere.
- Find a reason to apologize yourself for a minor fault, a word you said in the quarrel. This way it will be easier for the girl to admit her guilt.
- If she continues to bend her line, she does not want to apologize, do not listen, take a break for 3-4 days. This is enough time for the girl to think about her actions. After a break you can have another serious talk.
What exactly can not be done in this situation is to humiliate yourself. If the girl does not admit mistakes, does not want to do anything to save the relationship, think about whether you need such one-sided love.
By text message
Face-to-face meeting after a quarrel is not always the best method of restoring the relationship, if the woman is angry, does not want to talk to the offender. In this situation, phones and sms come to the aid of men. Reconcile with a girl after a breakup, treason, a major scandal will help such messages:
- Romantic. These are nice letters about that you miss, love, dream of meeting.
Let the mountain and the mountain will meet, all the seas merge into one, then we’ll break up with you, but now you’re just mine and will not let you go anywhere.
- Beautiful. They must contain compliments, declarations of love.
I wish I could touch you with my hand, my unshaven cheek. I love you so much.
- Funny. Should make a girl smile, lift a girl’s spirits.
And I’m the luckiest guy in the world: every morning I have two sunshine – one in the sky, the other is you.
Short texts are an effective method to ask for forgiveness and to attract the attention of the offended girl only for the first few days after the quarrel. When the ice melts, it is better to call or get a face-to-face meeting.
In a romantic text message to a girl, you can send a joint photo, which will remind the offended woman of the good moments in the past.
Make attempts to reconcile with the girl online only if she wants to forgive the offender. You need to find the words that will help you to forget about the scandal, will remind you of the good things. Express your feelings, do not hide, give your favorite virtual gifts, like photos and write comments on them. Try to use humor in reconciliation.
If you want to be original, master Photoshop and make a collage of their photos together with captions. Put the finished picture up for your friends to discuss. Let them write what a beautiful couple you are. The opinion of others will certainly affect the mood and disposition of the girl.
According to the zodiac signs
Choose ways to reconcile with the girl after a quarrel should take into account her character. Anticipate how she will react to gifts, apologies, will help the characteristics of the zodiac sign by date of birth.
|Zodiac sign||How to make up with a girl|
|Aries||Aries girls do not expect initiative from the guy if there was a major or minor quarrel. They will come first to sort things out, and this makes life much easier for guys. But give a bouquet of flowers, pay a compliment, and arrange a date will have to you.|
|Taurus||Taurus girls are extremely hard going through a breakdown in the relationship with the guys, it is difficult to go to the reconciliation. The guilty boy or husband will have to assure his beloved in the sincerity of his feelings, to back up the words with gifts, actions.|
|Gemini .||This is an outgoing and open to conversation sign. But it is extremely difficult for twin girls to go to reconciliation first, so after a quarrel, they expect action from the guys. Do not hesitate and quickly take the initiative. By fasting, switch the attention of your beloved to something else, it can be the theater, the cinema, a trip to the club.|
|Cancer .||These are vulnerable women, hard going through a breakup or quarrel. They need to be given time to reflect, to lick their wounds. One thing is for sure, getting a second chance with Cancers is hard.|
|Leo||After a quarrel, you will have to be resourceful and be as generous as possible. Buy a nice gift for the enraged lioness and come up with a mind-blowing date, empty promises will not be enough. But don’t get too excited if she accepts all the advances favorably. Now your beloved will be watching her husband’s every move.|
|Virgo .||Virgo women are untrustworthy, vulnerable, heavily tolerate criticism in their address, so they hold a grudge for a long time. Reconcile with them is difficult, so it is better not to bring the situation to a critical point.|
|Libra||Never go to the reconciliation first, waiting for the initiative from the guys, regardless of the guilt. But are very reverent about apologies, they should be sincere and long.|
|Scorpio||Scorpio guys love gifts, going to a restaurant. Come up with an original gift and ask her out on a date. Apologize loudly, out loud, you can even make a marriage proposal.|
|Sagittarius||It helps Sagittarians to relax in a relaxed atmosphere, pleasant company, a picnic in nature. Arrange a one-on-one meeting out of town, have a glass of wine, and the Sagittarius girl will be ready for the most serious conversation.|
|Capricorn .||Intuition helps build relationships with Capricorns. Do not show jealousy or distrust of them, keep all promises made and be submissive to the extreme, then the offended wife will quickly cool down.|
|Aquarius||Aquarius girls behave loyally to men’s misdeeds, but they run out of patience. After a quarrel, you will have to show love, have long intimate conversations about the joint future. But do not dare to offer the offended Aquarius woman sex or even kisses, this will offend them even more.|
|Pisces||Pisces girls only seem calm at first glance. If a guy offends, they will quickly decide to break up, and will not regret it. Beg forgiveness from the fish is extremely difficult. Try to find an approach to the offending person in different ways: devotion in his eyes, gifts, serenades. The main thing is to show that you are humble and can rely on you in the future. But be in a hurry, otherwise you will quickly pass into the category of exes, as fish are popular with men.|
Tips from a psychologist
Quarrels and scandals in psychology are not considered unacceptable. On the contrary, in the process of heated conversation, people are able to find the truth, even through tears to express claims to each other and to come to a compromise. But after a quarrel comes the time for reconciliation, and it too should be approached wisely. In this case, psychologists have prepared for us some tips:
- Do not grovel. Beg for forgiveness is necessary only if the pair have feelings. Without love, to achieve mutual understanding will never succeed.
- Do not pursue your loved one. Do not throw her phone messages, do not wait after work and around the house. Intrusiveness irritates girls and scares them. Such behavior will only make the situation worse.
- Do not gossip about your “ex”. Rumors are sure to reach the girl, and you will regret what you have done.
- Do not try to buy forgiveness. Gifts should go as an appendix to the apology, after the girl has relaxed a little. And counting on forgiveness for a gift ring is an insult to your beloved.
Reconciliation after a quarrel, and scandals and misunderstandings themselves, are only small parts of the multifaceted relationship between men and women. But these troubles can lead to couples falling apart and people losing each other forever. So try not to quarrel, treat feelings and opinions of the other half carefully, tolerantly. Then there will be less discord in your family.
How to make up with a girl after a strong quarrel: 9 steps to restore peace between you
What to do after a conflict with your lover? Psychologist’s tips for solving moments of crisis.
A still from the film “The Road of Change.
A quarrel can weaken your relationship or it can strengthen it-and its effects depend on how you both behave afterward. The time after an argument can be stressful, but the fact that you’ve just had an argument doesn’t mean you should act cold or unkind.
In fact, if you are careful about how you talk to each other, you can use this opportunity to start improving your relationship.
How do you make up with your girlfriend and get over the conflict safely? We will now tell you.
1. Try to reconcile as soon as possible
You may feel tempted to say the last word or even punish your girlfriend by making her wait for your forgiveness, but this can make you both unhappy not only in the moment but also in the future.
“One of the best gifts you can give yourself and your partner is to restore connection and harmony between you as soon as possible, rather than letting disagreements and quarrels linger.” , says practicing psychologist and Harvard professor Holly Parker, Ph.D., author of “If We’re Together, Why Do I Feel So Lonely?”
“When we allow quarrels to escalate, called negative reciprocity, we can destroy happiness in a relationship. So strive to make up before the conflict escalates.” , she suggests.
2. Cheer yourself up
“Pleasant feelings can help our bodies relax and feel less stressed, even in times of conflict,” Parker says.
So, if you have the urge to drag out an argument, even if everything that needs to be said has already been said, try remembering a time when your girlfriend did something nice for you, something you appreciate about her, or even just some good memory unrelated to her.
Or do something that makes you happy, like having a cup of tea or playing with your pet.
3. be positive.
If your goal is really to make up with the girl, don’t rehash your arguments. Don’t say phrases like “I’m sorry, but. ” or “It’s just that you always. ” That will only prolong the fight.
“Choose your words carefully, trying to be sincere and kind,” Parker advises. – Don’t use tactics that tend to hurt feelings and escalate friction, such as not insulting your partner, throwing past lapses in their face, yelling, inserting sarcastic remarks, making harsh critical comments and blaming.”
4. Listen to her side
To help your girlfriend feel heard, Parker recommends imagining yourself as someone outside the relationship who cares about both of you. Ask yourself what that person might see that eludes you from your own perspective, and acknowledge any valid arguments your partner has.
For example, you might say:
“I understand you didn’t call to warn me that you were coming home late because you got caught up in a project and lost track of time. This has happened to me, too.”
5. Work for results.
You’ve had a fight with your girlfriend and you want to make things right. But what exactly are you hoping for in this fight? To get more validation for your emotions? Or maybe less misunderstanding as you make plans?
Whatever it is, think of a mutually beneficial goal you can achieve to avoid future conflict.
“Instead of burying your own needs or your partner’s needs, trying to win or come out on top, you should think about working together to find an outcome that satisfies you both,” Parker says.
There’s no need to try your hardest to achieve what you want or to unquestioningly agree with your girlfriend’s position; try to find a compromise together that you both agree on.
6. If you can’t calm down, be alone with yourself for a while
How do you make up with your girlfriend after a big fight? If it’s too difficult for you to resist continuing the conflict with your partner, spend some time away from her. If you live together, take a shower or take a walk.
Parker suggests saying, “I still feel frustrated, and I think I need to calm down a bit. I have nothing against you – I just need to blow off some steam.”
7. Give it time.
Just like you, a girl may need some time after an argument to be alone with her thoughts and feelings, so give her that opportunity.
“Avoid the temptation to keep ‘clinging’ to your partner after the fight is over. By punishing him and continuing to lash out with recriminations, you will exacerbate the conflict rather than contribute to ending it.” Parker recommends.
8. Admit you’re wrong
If the cause of the conflict was a misconduct on your part, because of which your girlfriend was very unhappy, find the strength to admit your mistake. Try to analyze what exactly you did wrong, and sincerely apologize for what happened.
“Remember that the most effective way to avoid a repeat of the quarrel because of your mistake in the future is to prove by your deed that you have drawn conclusions from what happened and are ready to take certain steps to improve your relationship.”
9. Find the strength to forgive her.
What to do if the cause of the conflict was not your behavior, but a certain act of your girlfriend? First of all, try to convey to her calmly and reasonably, what exactly and for what reason you were upset.
Then try to understand how critical for you was what happened. If your girlfriend sincerely repents of what happened, and you feel that you can let the situation go – forgive her and move on.
What to do if you could not make up with the girl, and how to behave after the breakup? Read about it in a separate article.