How to check a man’s feelings for a woman – psychologist’s tips
When you meet a man and you start a relationship, sometimes there are doubts. Does he really love you and everything is serious on his part? You do not want to be deceived and spend years building a union, which for men does not mean as much as it does for you.
What to do to avoid this? Is it possible to check the sincerity of his feelings? And how to do it correctly?
Will the “test” help.
You always want to know that a man is honest with you and really has serious intentions. Therefore, some women decide that it is worth making sure that “for sure”. They arrange a variety of tests. For example, begin anonymous correspondence with a man. Or send his girlfriend, so she tried to “seduce” him.
There are cases when a girl lies about being pregnant to see his reaction, because if a man loves, he should be happy. These methods may seem effective, especially when they are advised by friends or “people from the internet.
But it is important to remember that every action has its consequences. The problem with these checks is that if they are revealed-and they usually are-it can eventually lead to a breakup. Any test is an undermining of trust.
The man will feel deceived, untrustworthy. Starting a relationship with deception is not the best way to build a long-term union.
In this regard, it’s important to put yourself in the man’s shoes. Imagine how you would feel if he gave you a similar test. Even its successful passage will cause you a lot of negative and very contradictory feelings. You will feel insulted.
Therefore, men’s feelings about such tests are justified. Such ways can ruin even the most ideal relationship.
Signs of sincerity of his feelings
In terms of psychology, checks can really ruin your union. Instead of arranging them, it is worth analyzing the relationship, look at them objectively. It is important to remove the “rose-colored glasses” and look at the situation sensibly. This will help you make sure that the man is sincere.
Number of gifts, compliments and declarations of love does not always indicate that the man really in love and set up a long relationship. There are several signs that show a man is sincere in his feelings:
- He wants to help you – and not when you’ve asked him 10 times. If he finds out you have a problem that he can help you with, he’ll offer it himself. Of course, it’s not about “pinning” responsibility for all your troubles on him. But you can see that he is willing to share them with you;
5 non-obvious signs of a man’s love
- The man is interested in you and your life – your communication is not limited to the banal “how are you? He is interested in your thoughts, feelings, hobbies, your friends, desires and plans for the future;
- The man “fits” you into his plans. Listen to him talk about the future. “When next year we’ll go on vacation,” “if in two years we get married,” “when we’ll have a baby.” Of course, no one knows for sure how life will turn out. But phrases like these show what he’s counting on;
- The man lets you into his life – you don’t just go on dates. He introduces you to his relatives, friends, shares his thoughts, experiences and desires;
- He’s excited to meet you – pay attention to his emotions. Is he excited? Does he or she respond quickly to messages? Is he smiling? Do you catch him staring at you?
- When he’s fighting, he’ll compromise and understand your point of view – it’s not about being right, it’s about making peace with you. That doesn’t mean that the man has to give in to everything. It’s about the fact that he really wants you to understand each other;
- the man doesn’t criticize you or tell you how you should act, but respects your opinion – he’s not trying to “set you up” for himself;
- When you’re in a large group of people, the man keeps paying attention to you – you catch his eyes, he notices who you’re talking to and what mood you’re in. This shows that he cares about you.
One of the important indicators by which you can understand the sincerity of a man’s feelings is how he behaves during a conflict with you. Quarrels always happen in relationships, it’s normal.
Psychologists conclude that this is even a good thing. First, any conflict helps strengthen the relationship and teaches you to come out of it correctly. Secondly, sometimes without conflict it is impossible to really get closer and understand each other.
Pay attention to the attitude he shows “on emotion.” What he says, what he does, how he behaves. When a person loses control, you can understand his true intentions and thoughts. Don’t assume that he just said something “in the heat of the moment.” It’s phrases like that that tell you his true attitude.
Why do you want to put him to the test
In addition to paying attention to the man’s actions, try to analyze yourself. Why do you have doubts about your lover? After all, they do not occur “in an empty place”, they always have a reason. But not always the reason – it.
There are several reasons for you to have doubts:
- self-doubt, low self-esteem – you think that you do not deserve such a man. If so, it is important to understand where this distorted belief comes from and correct it, otherwise you will always doubt;
- Unfortunate past experiences – if you’ve already had relationships that ended in deception, but you haven’t been able to get over them and let them go. It is important to understand why you are still “holding on” to that relationship and why you are projecting your ex’s actions onto your current man;
- Disrupted attachment in childhood – if you had problems with their parents, you have experienced from them coldness or, conversely, hyper. In this case, you need to clearly understand the reasons for their doubts, and not look for them in the man;
- man gives you reason to doubt – it happens that he behaves in such a way that you cease to be confident in the sincerity of his feelings. Analyze what it is in his behavior that causes you to have such thoughts. Is the reason for them really objective? If so, it is important to clarify everything with a man, take it out in a frank conversation and do not be afraid to lose the relationship.
In a relationship it is important to have trust in each other. If it is not there, you need to figure out the reason. Fooling yourself, running away that “you’re winding yourself up” is not the best strategy. It is important to clarify your doubts at the very beginning, to find their source.
This will only bring you closer and strengthen the emotional connection. Do not be afraid to be honest. If a man loves you, he’s no less interested in the relationship than you are.
The more you doubt, the more tense your relationship will become. There will be jealousy, a desire to control each other, and resentment. To avoid this, you need to learn to talk to each other frankly.
How to check: “Does the man have feelings for me?”
It is important for every girl to see next to her a man who loves and adores her. But how to determine his true feelings and intentions? By what signs can you tell that a man is in love? About this we will talk today. After reading this article, the question: “Does a man have feelings for me?” – will fall away. You will understand exactly how he really feels about you.
After reading the article to the end, you will also know what to do if the man does not have any feelings for you. Recommendations will be universal and will be useful to all girls regardless of age.
How to check: “Do I have feelings for a man?” – Five signs
In this article, you and I will consider two situations, namely, when there is not yet a relationship between you and when you are already a couple. Let’s start with the signs of a man’s interest when you’re not yet in a relationship.
Sign #1 – Excitement.
If a man likes a woman, he will experience excitement. Adrenaline and noradrenaline (stress hormones) will be released into his bloodstream when he sees the object of his affection. At the root of this stress is the fear of getting rejected by the person he likes.
So when you communicate with a man – watch his emotional state. If he is talking to you worried and nervous, the high probability that he likes you. And if he is acting very relaxed and free, then either he is not particularly interested or he has extensive experience in communication with women.
Sign #2 – Looking for an opportunity to see each other
Remember: If a man really wants to meet, he will find the time to do it. No matter how busy he is.
If a man is looking to see you, invites you to a meeting and makes time in his busy schedule, then he likes you. But if he’s busy every time and doesn’t have time, the likelihood of sympathy and feelings on his part is extremely low.
Sign #3 – Is genuinely interested in you.
We are very good at sensing when a man asks a question for the sake of a tick, and when he is genuinely interested in knowing our personality. If a man wants to get to know you better and he asks a lot of questions, it shows that he cares about you.
But if he does not ask anything about you, talks only about himself or discusses only abstract topics, then the likelihood that he is interested in you is very low.
Sign number 4 – Help
To understand how a man treats you – ask him for help. If he finds 1001 excuses why he can not help, then we can not talk about high feelings. But if he immediately agrees to take part in solving your problem, it’s very good.
Men do not like to solve the problems of women they are not interested. But if a woman is valuable to him, he will beat the hell out of you, but it will help.
First, ask him for something minor. Because if you ask straight away for something serious, the man may not agree. For example, helping to nail down a shelf is not the same as helping to pay off a mortgage. Start with the shelf.
Sign #5 – He keeps in touch with you
Even if a man works as president, believe me, at least once a day he will find time to answer your texts. But if the gentleman disappears for a long time, does not get in touch and all the time for you is busy, the sympathy from his side is unlikely.
But in no case a man should not make a claim, if he does not get in touch. Do not sit and wait for his reply or call. This is an irrational waste of time. So the man will understand your neediness and excessive interest. So just mind your own business and draw conclusions.
If a man writes to you, is interested in your affairs and finds time to call – he likes you.
How do you know if a man really loves you?
And now we will talk about the signs of a man’s love and his feelings for you when you are already in a relationship.
1)He strives to make you feel good.
A man who loves you is altruistic. He puts his beloved’s interests above his own or at least on a par with his own. But if your beloved demonstrates selfish behavior, not caring about your interests, then there is no love. You can be convenient and comfortable for him, but not beloved.
Respect is not always a manifestation of love. But if respect without love can exist, then love without respect – no. If a man is rude to you, shows a dismissive attitude, what kind of high feelings can we talk about? Such an alliance is toxic and co-dependent.
And if he considers your opinion, respects your thoughts, decisions and views, that’s very good. That is one of the manifestations of love.
Physical intimacy is the foundation of a relationship. It’s probably the most important aspect around which everything else is built. And if you are desirable to your man, then all is well in your couple. Love and feelings at the right level. But if for some reason his libido has dropped, then we can talk about either a psychological problem or a physical one.
A psychological problem is stress (at work or just in life) or a strained relationship with your partner. If the relationship has become uncomfortable and the attraction has fallen, then love may also soon fall.
A physical problem is illness. Any illness can have a bad effect on a man’s health. From cardiovascular disease to infections.
Why did I write about the reasons why there can be problems in bed. Because if your partner has stopped wanting intimacy with you, it’s not always an indication that his feelings are gone. Maybe he had a decline in health and the problem must look elsewhere. Always look at the situation from different angles.
Every man at a deep level has a mechanism to protect the woman he loves. He will always stand up for her if there is any danger. Always – this means in any situation, even when there is a threat to his life. But if in a situation where there is danger over you man is doing his feet, then he does not love you. This is a 100% criterion by which you can check his feelings.
Let’s look at an example. Have you ever seen the following picture: a man and a woman (a couple) in a public place. And someone starts to hit on his woman, and in response he doesn’t shut the offender up, but tells his companion to calm down and apologize to the other person who first started hitting on her.
Such a situation shows not only that the man is not in love, but also that he is a coward. It doesn’t matter if his woman was right or wrong during the conflict, for a man in love she is always right in his eyes and he will defend her to the end.
What to do if a man does not love? – Instructions
If you realized that a man does not love you, then there is one way out of this situation – to stop communicating with him.
I strongly recommend to adhere to one rule in life.
Rule: Communicate only with people with whom you have full reciprocity. If the person is not interested in you, don’t hold on to them.
At first it can be difficult to let go of the person you love. And understanding his indifference is even harder. But you need to develop the habit of not communicating with people who don’t like you. It’s really a matter of habit, develop it in yourself it will be easy to live and you will be surrounded by people who are interested in you.
Conventionally we can divide the men into three groups:
Let us begin with the last type – disinterested.
We immediately discard them from our lives. And it is also very important to understand that if the man is not interested, then the problem is not in you, but in biological or psychological incompatibility. To better understand how people choose their mate, I recommend reading the article: How the chemistry between a man and a woman (opens in a new tab).
The second type of man is neutral.
These are men who like you, but not enough to build a relationship with you. Again, it’s not about you, it’s about how the other man perceives you and what his inner beliefs are. You can make a neutral man into an interested man so that he wants a relationship with you and is in love with you. But this requires a good understanding of male psychology and behave correctly with him.
But practice shows that neutrality from the very beginning of communication is not good. Of course, you can use psychological tricks to make him run after you, but the question of how long it will be is still open. In my experience, any kind of manipulation does not work in the long term.
The third type of man is interested.
This is the type of man who is interested in you right away and for no reason at all. Or rather, there are reasons, but they are not logical, but the unconscious. Such a man is usually interested in you forever. If of course you do not go to extremes and do not make his life difficult.
An interested man will genuinely be interested in you, ask questions, his non-verbal signals will show his sympathy for you.
Tip: Get in touch with interested men. Neutral and disinterested immediately filter out and cross out of your life.
The more confident you are, well-groomed appearance and developed personal qualities, the more interested men will be around. So do not run after those who do not care about you. It is better to spend this time on yourself and your development.
Now you know the answer to the question: do I have feelings for a man? You know the signs you can learn about the man’s interest and how to check his true feelings. Also, you learned how to act in a situation where a man does not show interest in you – you need to reciprocate.
I strongly recommend you to stick to the rule: do not communicate with people who are not interested in me. It will not only make your life easier, but it will also let in cool people who will love and respect you.
And that’s it for me. If you enjoyed this article, please share it on social media. If you still have any questions, post them in the comments.