25 men’s tips for women on how to keep a man
No offence! 25 men’s tips for girls on how to behave with a man, what to say, what to do, how to keep him and successfully enslave him!
Let me say at once – all tips do not claim to be the absolute truth in the last instance, do not guarantee the result and is not a universal tool for every case. In addition they are placed without any sequence and are written in the rough, straightforward language of a real sailor. If you do not mind – go under the hat, but I urge men to finish writing their recipes for a happy and wonderful relationship.
25 male tips for women to keep a man
1. Dear girls. Do not fuck with a man’s brain. Not about what you should wear or why he’s home so late. I know it’s hard, but try not to fuck with his mind. A fucked up brain is the reason for leaving the family from a grumpy wife to a not yet grumpy mistress.
2. leave the man his private corner – a locked desk drawer or closet. Of course there is a terrible temptation to get in there and see what lies there. And usually there is nothing criminal – a clock presented by his father, unsigned postcard written in woman’s handwriting, a pen, a pair of pencils, a key chain, a few coins, a key of unknown origin and an old student ID card. And even the Playboy magazine stamp you expect won’t be there. The horror is that you women don’t hold back and open men’s personal locked drawers. You do it sloppily and the man always notices that someone has been in his space. But even if you do it neatly, you still can’t stop yourself from fucking around (point 1) about who wrote the card and what kind of secret apartment this key is from. He won’t explain that the card was written by his first love from college, that the key is from his father’s apartment, and that it’s not good to go snooping around in his private stuff. He simply will understand that he can not leave anything at home, and his personal space will move at best to the garage, at worst in another, just a secret apartment.
Leave the man his personal space and for hobbies. Fishing, soccer, stamp collecting, tennis, billiards or anything else. Do not encroach on his personal space. It’s his, it was there before you came into his life and it will be after you break up. If you take it away from him (- Are you going to your stupid soccer game again?! You were at it last week! or – What army friends? I’ll go with you. No, I’ll go. Are you embarrassed of me? Why no women? What’s going on over there? And now I’ll go with you all the more. ), a man may give up his hobby or hobby, but trust me, once you break up he will return to his space. And he will do so with relief. Don’t make it so that the man will leave you, and also feel relieved when he does.
4. Men are terrible conservatives. Men, whether they like shopping or not, love their old, completely, seemingly unnecessary or out of fashion items. Some frayed sweater, jeans with frayed knees, a half-dry purse. God forbid you should throw any of that away. God forbid.
5. If a man doesn’t like to go shopping – don’t force him, rather tell him you want to walk and arrange to meet him somewhere. If you recently met him and he won’t offer to pay for your purchases – don’t despair – perhaps he’s just testing you how much you’ll miss this news. But if he doesn’t pay two more times – run from him.
6. Respect a man’s money. If you’re not paying, never buy anything (from a handkerchief to a car) without asking how much it costs. The status of your relationship – whether you’re married or just dating doesn’t matter – if that money wasn’t earned by you, respect it regardless of the amount. You didn’t earn it.
7. Don’t be jealous – will be jealous of the wrong one anyway – men are too cunning for you to figure them out. Women are craftier and meaner, they are more violent, but men are craftier and neater. And women’s jealousy ends up turning into a brain fuck anyway.
8. Don’t seek to take hold of a man’s money. It’s nasty, unpleasant, and usually noticeable. The one who just loves will win. Not because of money.
9. The bathroom, if it is shared, is not yours alone. We are well aware of your ability to fill the entire surrounding space with vials, bottles, cosmetics, creams and other shit, which multiplies by budding. But you can at least leave room for maneuvering around the sink, so that washing a man (and a real man does not rub his eyes with a wet paw, and pours his face, sniffing and splashing) did not feel like an elephant in a china shop, and like a hippo in the pool? Yes, and of course all sorts of shit like fake curls, eyelashes and other naturalistic trappings from the world of Nazi Germany, hide so that he does not even know about them.
11. Oh, and here’s one more thing. In the shower – don’t forget to switch the water from the overhead shower, which hangs from the ceiling, to the hand shower. There’s nothing more disgusting than getting a morning half-asleep charge of cold water on your head just because you have multiple sclerosis.
14. I’m sorry, but the other cliché that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach is, alas, not a cliché, but the truth of life. No matter how good you are at getting laid, singing along to the guitar, or cross-stitching, if you can’t cook or if you do it with your fucking face twisted in hate, you won’t have a family life. At least not happily.
16. The ideal wife is a nun in public and a prostitute in bed. I didn’t say that, it’s folk wisdom. Believe me, it’s true. A man has to want you. Want all the time and only you. He must get up at the thought of you, not the salesgirl from the flower store. To do this you do not need to relax and not walk in front of him in curlers and especially not to walk in front of him naked, with tits falling out of her nightgown, if it’s not sex, and you just go to put the kettle on. Sweetie! Well, we’re not in the bathhouse! A man should not get used to your body. But during sex it is you who must be open and take the initiative in all sorts of perversions and other sexual pleasures. Why? Because you are the one who has the competition from saleswomen, waitresses and nurses behind you. Under no circumstances should you relax. If there is someone around who gives better blowjobs than you – fuck your relationship. Don’t let this situation happen, don’t let the competition get in, guard the perimeter. But not with stupid and mindless jealousy, but with the quality of sex he gets from you. Go ahead all the time and be one step ahead of everyone else all the time. You can’t see them, but your enemies are all around you and breathing down your neck all the time. Be sexier than they are. Be aware of them.
17. All the time should be an element of novelty, should not be addictive.I’m going to say the red-tape and I’ll throw poo, but believe me, if there is such a possibility – make yourself a separate bedroom. The man gets a chance to fart in his sleep, and you have to punish him by “depriving” access to your bedroom. And the inaccessibility and novelty factor is an awfully powerful thing in a relationship.
18. Take care of him. In the sense of domesticity. Dinner, iron his pants, tie his tie. You don’t know how? Learn, goddamn it! If you get a Bentley with a manual box, you’ll probably learn how to drive, and tying a tie is even easier. A man can do all the ironing, cooking and tying his own tie. But what a thrill it is to have someone taking care of him. Perhaps the last time it was his mother when he was in high school. In this age of speed and predatory, mercurial women, men lack the warmth and caring that’s important to them
19. His mother. Mom, of course, is fucked up (with a few exceptions, like mine gee-gee). But you have to get along with your mom. I don’t fucking know how, but Mom is a huge influence. Mom makes a huge difference in a man’s life. And mom’s tight ass every time she sees you is a problem.Don’t give up! Your ass shouldn’t be tweaked and then you’ll be fine.
20. His children are from previous women. Love them. Preferably sincerely. If you manage to drag his children to your side – he is yours. How to win the love of children you can read in any manual in a bookstore. Not too difficult a science.
21. His past women. Fuck them. Forget about them. No need for jealousy, no need for questioning, no need to tear up pictures and smash a vase by accident when you find out it was once given by SHE. Spit it out. Think of yourself and the flower sellers. The past is like a skating rink – no fish.
22. His friends. That’s sacred. If he wants to drink with them alone, let him go. If he wants to go with you, by all means go. Laugh at their stupid jokes, drink vodka with them, put a drunken friend to sleep in the meat at your house. But then they’ll tell him privately: -Yeah-ah… You’re lucky with her! You’ve got a great one. And for men the approval of friends is extremely important and expensive.
23. Never. Never. Never argue with a man in front of his friends. This is a terrible way to diminish his self-esteem in their eyes and publicly turn him into a slacker. At home, yes. In public, no.
24. Always protect him. Did a traffic cop fuck with you? Don’t read a text message while you’re stuck in your phone – at least stand next to it, like you’re worried. Is your company teasing you? Stand up for yourself. Some argument at the table and you don’t think like him? Let him know your opinion at home and take his position at the table. A fight? Take off your shoes and rush straight into the thick of it to defend, separate. You risk getting a black eye and smashing your lip, but this feat will remain in his heart forever.
25. Last piece of advice. Do not listen to no one’s advice but mine. Let your girlfriends-advisers are engaged in their families (as a rule for some reason with these advisers just a complete failure with the family) and do not pry into your life. Anything can happen, but your life – it’s your life and only you decide how to be and what to do. Well and in any situation in a pinch you can say to yourself – Whatever happens, all for the best.
How to keep a guy
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When you get dumped by a guy, it can break your heart, especially if you actually like him. Here are a few steps to make sure you stay together for a long time.
Take care of yourself. Don’t do things that can ruin the way you look or feel, and always be presentable, but don’t go overboard with your makeup.
Try to talk to him about serious topics. If he is a thinker, he will react accordingly and see that you are interesting instead of thinking that you are always talking about trivia. However, don’t always be serious-remember to have fun, too.
Communicate with him; be open with him about everything. Men hate it when they feel like they can’t get their thoughts out, so if he wants to talk to you about any topic, you should listen to him, even if it sounds silly or useless to you. Being able to compromise is the way to go, because if a man loves you, he will compromise on many things that are important to him; even if you don’t see it, he does.
Trust him in everything, but only if he has earned your trust. Always be honest with him (and with yourself). Never deceive him or keep secrets, but if he breaks your trust, don’t keep telling him everything; that will only hurt you.
Support him on good and bad days. Just be there for him in every way you can, but remember that he needs space to breathe.
Respect him the way you would want you to be respected. Do not offend, insult, or neglect him in any way. Treat him as you would want him to treat you.
Make time for yourself, apart from him, when you are doing your hobbies. Don’t sacrifice that time or your time with your friends for your boyfriend. This will show him that you are interesting and respect yourself, and at the same time give him the opportunity to spend time with other friends and be a guy.
Do something for him that he will remember. This will help you make sure he doesn’t get distracted by other girls.
Tell him that you love him and that he is the only one you want. However, don’t say it unless you really think so. Make sure you are true to those words and never cheat.
When you say goodbye, make sure you kiss him, hug him and whisper in his ear that you love him. However, don’t act clingy and, again, only do so if you really feel like it.
Communication is the key to all relationships. Tell him how you feel and ask him to tell you how he feels.
Find an activity he likes and do it with him. Try to take an interest in what he likes to do. There is nothing better than spending time with someone you love doing what you love. However, don’t insist on doing everything with him at once.
Show him what stage of physical intimacy you are at, and how far you are willing to go so it doesn’t turn out to be a last-minute decision. He may, in fact, feel relieved that he’s not being pressured by sex, that he doesn’t have to think about contraception and emotional issues.
Make the first move from time to time. Men won’t tell you this, but they don’t always like to make the first move. A woman like that can win over any man. So try it; it will work. It’s sexy.
Always look him in the eye (but don’t stare) when you talk. If you look away, he will think you are uncomfortable with him. Your body language says a lot, and guys notice everything.
Compliment him (sincerely). Don’t tell him he’s ‘sexy’; casually call him handsome or Prince Charming. That’s a big difference. Or, if you don’t feel comfortable using those words, compliment him on his hair, clothes or scent. However, never give him insincere compliments.
If you have a problem in one aspect of your relationship, tell him, but make sure it doesn’t sound selfish or demanding or aggressive; make sure he knows you love him and want to work to improve your relationship. He will appreciate your efforts in working on the relationship. However, that doesn’t mean you should complain to him about everything; this will only irritate him and push him away from you.
Tell him you love him often, but not too often, hold his hand, kiss him on the cheek or give him a quick kiss on the lips.
Just because you’re walking together doesn’t mean he can’t and won’t look at other girls. It’s natural for guys to look at other girls, but don’t get mad at him if that happens. Just playfully ask him not to do it anymore and to be more careful when he’s on a date with another.
From time to time, kiss him gently and sweetly, just like that. This will keep him interested and he will be with you because he never knows when you will kiss him again. If you don’t feel comfortable kissing him on the lips, kiss him on the cheek; physical contact is necessary in any relationship, and if you deny him touch, it will definitely affect the relationship, especially if he is willing to be kissed and touched. Sometimes one kiss is enough to attract a man, and the lack of it will make him want what he can’t get from you, so he will instinctively start looking for a woman who will give him what he needs, and this will lead to cheating or in the worst case scenario, he will leave you.