14 ways to strengthen family relationships
Relationships in the family depend not only on women, but also on men. A happy family is a constant work on the relationship, without which even the strongest passion fades. Sooner or later, even in a young family, there are resentments, quarrels, claims to each other. There are a number of ways in which you can strengthen family relationships.
Common interests are not all couples. But they can be created from scratch. Knowing the interests and hobbies of the partner, you can join them. Common pastime should be filled with new, positive emotions that lead to pleasant associations. Such interests can be: a walk in the park, a trip to the cinema, and maybe fishing. But do not share your partner’s interest to go shopping or collect the child in kindergarten, because such interests in the short term turn into a domestic routine and annoying obligations.
In this case, the word freedom is not about a free relationship, but about giving freedom of human behavior. Everyone occasionally wants to be in silence or engage in a favorite hobby, and to such a desire should be treated with respect. You shouldn’t force your partner to do something he’s not interested in or doesn’t want to do. An example would be cleaning the house. If the wife forces her husband to clean, but he has no desire, it is not worth insisting on his own, because this will lead to an even greater scandal. In such a case, it is necessary to look for workarounds, through which you can get your share of freedom. After cleaning the apartment, you can send your spouse out for a walk with the children and get yourself some long-awaited and well-deserved free time.
In family relationships, a very important aspect is a good mood that spouses should give to each other. There is no need to squeeze out a good mood forcibly. But if you make a habit of finding positive moments in any situation and distinguish between work and family, it will be possible. Thanks to this attitude, many conflicts in the family go down, and even serious quarrels may seem insignificant if you think in a positive way.
This way of preserving relationships is more suitable for men than for women, because it is women who need attention, support, affection to a greater extent. Attention is a necessary component of a strong family relationship.
This way will definitely help to fix the family discord and strengthen the relationship. It is necessary to try to allocate at least one evening a week for their spouse. Such an evening can be in the form of a romantic dinner, or spend it discussing current topics of the family, planning matters or the family budget. After dinner, a great conclusion to the evening would be watching and discussing a movie together. Many psychologists believe that discussing movies, especially romantic ones, can to some extent be considered family psychotherapy, preventing some divorces.
Memories of a wonderful, touching, and romantic relationship from the past are sure to help you reconnect with your current relationship and remember what brought you and that person together and why you’re still together. Gifts, letters, photo albums, or photos on social networking sites can help refresh memories.
A beneficial effect would be to plan for a long term future together. This may be a travel plan for the next 5 years, or a plan to build a house in which the family will live in 20 years. And no matter what the meaning of these plans, the main thing is that there are plans for the future, and they are made together, thereby bringing each other closer.
Despite the lack of time because of work or household chores, it is necessary to find time to communicate. If a person has problems outside of the family, it is better to tell them to your companion, who knows you like no one else and can support you in any situation. Also, you need to share the good news, your loved one will rejoice with you.
Touch is one of the languages of love. Try to touch each other as often as possible: holding hands, hugging, kissing. Such tactile contact is fundamental to bonding. It is necessary to remember that the nature of touch tells about the level of feelings.
During an argument or conflict, you should not use your knowledge of your partner’s vulnerabilities, it can be a blow and break it, completely destroying the relationship. Everyone has flaws, but remembering them should not be a weapon in a conflict situation. It is necessary to cherish the person, and all that you know about him, it is better to use in a positive way.
As often as possible talk about your feelings, how much you appreciate and love them. This way will help to strengthen the relationship between people and make it more meaningful.
An important rule: if you do not like something, you should not criticize the person as a person, and talk about your feelings about the situation, that is, to use the technique of “I-message.
Feeling that intimate life ceased to bring full pleasure and became much less frequent, it is necessary to discuss this moment with your partner. It is important that each of them has a desire and willingness to diversify their intimate life, to find common and interesting. Missing the moment when intimate life turns into a “spousal duty”, it will be very difficult to resume a passionate and desirable intimate relationship.
Regardless of the reason for the conflict with your partner, there will be reconciliation in the near future. But, having told your close friends or relatives about the quarrel, the incident will periodically remind you of itself in their face. In this case, it will not be possible to completely forget and let the situation go, because when you remember, there will be resentment and anger in the soul. All family problems should be solved only in the family circle and not letting outsiders in.
And, of course, do not forget about the pleasant surprises that will saturate the gray of everyday life with romance and good humor. Even a small bouquet of flowers or your favorite sweets, will not leave indifferent any girl. And a man in turn will be happy to receive her culinary masterpiece from his beloved.
All these ways are elementary and do not require great feats. Evoke all kinds of emotions and your family life will never be boring. All this will preserve and strengthen your family relationship, and each of the spouses will feel needed, loved and desired.
How to improve your relationship? 5 tips for couples who have “cooled” feelings
When people enter into a relationship, their coming together is accompanied by trusting communication. It is important for you to learn details about your partner, as well as for him about you, and this involves a constant exchange of impressions, opinions, memories, pleasant words to each other. Psychologists say that communication plays a key role in the relationship.
But what if you find yourself in a relationship where real conversations do not take place?
It’s important to remember that there’s nothing unusual about this. If you’ve been in a relationship, especially a long-term one, it’s likely that you’ve experienced some form of communication breakdown where conversations are reduced to generic phrases.
Comfortable silence is normal, but if your relationship goes without conversation at all or you can’t talk about anything but the most mundane and superficial topics, it may signal a deeper problem. It’s best not to ignore this situation, and here’s why.
How refusing to communicate affects the relationship
If you’ve found it difficult to communicate with your partner, then there’s a good chance you’ll drift apart over time. Eventually, you can expect a breakup.
Let’s list some of the consequences of not communicating in a relationship:
- Lack of intimacy;
- resentment against your partner;
- Feeling as if the ground beneath their feet is shaky.
Reasons for not talking to each other
There are many reasons why you may find yourself in a “silent” relationship. Some of these situations include the following motives:
- You have run out of topics to talk about. If you have been in a relationship for a while, you may feel like you talk about the same topics all the time.
- One or both of you is always busy. If you are busy working or studying day in and day out, you may forget to take the time to talk to your partner and check in with his or her feelings.
- You have different speaking styles and skills. Some people grew up in families where parents didn’t talk at all, and others may have grown up in a family filled with loud, fierce arguments and conflicts. This affects personality, and can manifest itself in different ways as an adult. One partner may keep things to themselves, while the other may seem to actively avoid communication for fear of conflict.
- One or both parties have fallen under the influence of routine and have become lazy in communication, so no one wants to make the first step to start a conversation. Sometimes people feel too comfortable in the relationship, so they stop doing the necessary emotional and psychological work.
- You live different lives. One of you may work and go out with friends when they have free time, while the other may put all their energy into hobbies or household chores. You don’t share time, experiences, or interests.
- You have an unresolved conflict. If something happened in the past that hurt you or your partner, you may find it difficult to get over it and you may not want to make the effort to strengthen the relationship again. You may have tried to talk about something in the past, but neither you nor your partner can come to an agreement, or you don’t feel heard. Instead of repeating the same thing to each other, you may prefer to remain silent.
How to start rebuilding your relationship with your partner
Communication is an integral part of any relationship. It is necessary to ensure and maintain a strong romantic bond between two people. Here are a few ways you can start communicating again if the communication in your couple has waned:
1. Start with yourself and your mutual reflection.
You need to think about your relationship, and above all, how your behavior can hurt the relationship and how you can change. It’s important to start not with your partner’s shortcomings, but to focus on yourself, because this will give you the opportunity to be proactive.
People have more opportunities to change if they choose to do it on their own. However, it will also be very helpful for your partner to raise their awareness and focus on what they can change to improve the relationship.
Here are some questions you might want to ask yourself: “Am I able to communicate in a way that my partner is willing to listen? Am I listening attentively to my partner so that he or she is willing to talk? Am I willing to share my thoughts with my partner?”
2. Take small steps toward resuming conversations with your partner
If you’ve established a style of relationship where you and your partner are more silent and have almost no conversations, you may find it difficult to start over, but you don’t need to dive right into the hole either.
For example, after asking your partner how his or her day was, try asking clarifying questions. Ask specific questions about what he or she actually did, what he or she liked or what was upsetting.
The important thing here is to try to focus on meaningful questions that may be more based on feelings. As Laurel House, a relationship coach, explained: “Just because you’re not jumping from one topic to another and no longer talking all night long because there’s so much you want to say to your partner doesn’t mean the relationship is outdated. Your conversations just need to move from mundane topics to deeper ones.”
3. Plan to do things together as a couple
Start doing things together, whether it’s cooking dinner, going on nature trips, or hanging out at a coffee shop. This will help you feel connected again, stimulating conversations and creating new fond memories. A bonus will be that you plan to do something new that neither of you have done before.
4. Be prepared for tough conversations.
Sometimes it’s very difficult to talk about an emerging relationship problem with your partner. But there is only one way to talk about a difficult topic. It is to decide to have it, making a promise to each other to discuss the issue in a healthy and respectful manner. Try to find balance and be willing to compromise with your partner. If it is a particularly difficult topic, work on sharing your thoughts gently and dialogue with empathy.
5. Think about couples therapy.
There is no shame in seeking therapy. According to Gracie Landes, a licensed marriage and family therapist in New York City, couples therapy can help you if you face the same pattern of conflict over and over again, can’t get out of a deadlock, feel like you don’t speak the same language as your partner, and want to get along better but don’t know how to do it.
Understanding why and how you stopped communicating as a couple is the first step to reconnecting. Sometimes that first conversation can simply be an admission of a lack of conversation. The desire to reconnect on a deeper level may be the best reason to talk. Reconnecting takes time; don’t be upset if progress is not immediate. The most important thing is to acknowledge that there is a problem.