How to humiliate a man to tears?

100 phrases that will put a man in his place when he’s being smart or insulting


Every one of us encounters an insolent or arrogant person at least once in our lives.

You may meet him in a nearby coffee shop, or he may be sitting next to you at work. With some we are even in a close relationship.

In a conversation with an opinionated person, it’s easy to snap and behave the way he or she did with you.

No matter how difficult it is to communicate with such people, it is always worth controlling yourself and learning to respond to him without insults.

Here are some modern and witty phrases that will help you put such a person in their place.

Clever phrases that will put the arrogant man in his place

1.Sorry, friend, I don’t have as much time to pretend as you do today.

2. Mmmm…sorry, I wasn’t listening. Can you repeat what you just said?

3- Okay. (Such a simple answer shows the interlocutor that you basically don’t care.)

4. you make it sound weird.

5. Are you always this cocky, or only when I’m around?

6, Whatever you say, dummy.

7. I don’t understand what you’re saying now. I don’t speak in absurd language.

8. Did it hurt to fall from the sky? If a man asks you why answer him: Because it looks like you landed face down on the ground.

8. Ahh, so you’re having a bad day. (Chances are, the person is having a really bad day and that’s why he’s acting that way. Your response will help him feel how you feel).

9. Thanks for thinking of me. Bye.

10. Repeat what you just answered me (This always annoys rude people).

11. I hope your day is as enjoyable as you are.

12. Just wanted to tell you that our conversation is being recorded. (Most people don’t like the fact that their unsightly behavior can be recorded on tape.

13. The dummy store called, looking for you.

14. Your erroneous opinion is wrong, but nice.

15. Goodbye! (Sometimes a simple goodbye is enough to end an unpleasant conversation.)

16. Cool story, bro.

17. You know the people around you can hear you, right?

18. It’s funny to hear you trying to fit all your vocabulary into one sentence.

19. How is that supposed to make me feel?

20. There are some very stupid people in this world. Thank you for helping me understand that.

21. I’ve been called worse things.

22. If happiness is in ignorance, you are probably the happiest person on earth.

23. Stop talking about me. What’s going on in there?

24. Your words sound much better when you are silent.

25. I understand what you’re saying, but if I agree with you, we’re both wrong.

26. Were you born on the track? Because that’s where most accidents happen.

27. Hold on a second. I have something to say. (Immediately after that you leave).

28. 28. Not many people like you, do they?

29. It’s a very interesting story and all, but when will you shut up?

30. Shh! And then put your finger to the person’s mouth.

31. I’d explain it to you, but I don’t have time or pencils. (This is a subtle way of hinting to the insolent person that he is being childish).

32. I believe you. (Remember that the rude person expects you to disagree with him. By agreeing, you ruin all his plans).

33. Wait your turn while the adults talk. (This answer is fine if you are talking in a group of people.)

34. You still have your whole life to show your bad temper. Why not take today off?

35. Please cancel my subscription to your problems.

36. Should I call the police?

37. Thank you! (A simple act of gratitude could derail his plans.)

38. People like you are the reason I take my medicine.

39. I’m going to complain about you.

40. I don’t care what everyone else says. I don’t think you’re that bad.

41. All people do stupid things from time to time, but you’re clearly abusing the privilege.

42. I could ask you to shut up. It doesn’t smell very good.

43. Remember when I asked for your opinion? I don’t remember either.

44. I’ll be whatever you want me to be, honey. (A calm manner of speaking is the best way to deal with a rude person.)

45. Thank you for sharing your point of view. We are all encouraged by your original opinion.

46. Have a good day to you.

47. Remember when I said you were cool? I was lying.

48. If a man rolls his eyes tell him: Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe that’s how you’ll find your brain.

49. Why don’t you take a walk and play “get out of my sight.”

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50. No wonder everyone is talking behind your back.

51. God bless your health.

52. You have the right to remain silent, because anything you say will sound stupid anyway.

53. I understand exactly why you feel this way. Thank you for letting me know that.

54. You make me so happy when you leave the room.

55. If I drop the stick, you’ll leave, won’t you?

56. Talk to my hand.

57. Do you hear that? (Silence) That’s the sound of me not caring.

58. You’ll miss all the good stuff and die angry.

59. (Just go away. There is no greater insult than indifference.)

60. I try very hard to look at everything from your point of view, but they can’t look that far up their ass.

61. Look the man in the eye and lick your lips. (This reaction will be unexpected and possibly defuse the situation).

62. I have better things to do than listen to you.

63. Stupidity is not a crime, you can leave.

64. I’m sorry, I’m gonna have to cut you off. Bye.

65. Explain more. (This may stop the person because explaining takes a long time and the person may not have prepared to explain anything to you.)

66. Wow, you’re really smart!

67. Here’s a handkerchief, wipe the dirt off your lips.

68. If you ran like you scratched your tongue, you’d be in good shape.

69. I believed in evolution until I met you.

70. Sometimes it’s better to keep silent and give the impression that you’re stupid than to talk and dispel all doubts.

71. If you have any opinion about me, raise your hand. After you raise it, bring it to your mouth.

72. Mirrors don’t lie, and luckily for you they don’t laugh.

73. I would spank you, but that would be animal abuse.

74. 74. Surprise me. Say something clever.

75. I don’t remember asking for your opinion.

76. I’m busy, you’re being ugly. Have a good day.

77. If you’re being duplicitous, make at least one face pleasant.

78. I’m not a proctologist, but I can tell if a man is an asshole.

79. I have five fingers and the middle one I prepared for you.

80. What makes you say that?

81. I hope you hit your little finger on the corner.

82. I just checked the check, and I sure as hell didn’t buy that nonsense you’re babbling about.

83. The last time I saw someone who looked like you, I flushed after me.

84. Of course I sound like an idiot. Who else would understand me?

85. I don’t know what your problem is, but I guess it’s hard to pronounce.

86. I was almost getting worried, almost scared.

87. If you’re not Google (Yandex), stop acting like you know everything.

88. I may not be perfect, but at least I’m not you.

89. What makes you think that?

90. I’d appreciate it if you’d change the subject.

91. You know there are other points of view, don’t you?

92. You don’t expect me to answer, do you?

93. I’m sorry, but I didn’t order your opinion.

94. Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it immediately becomes light.

How to insult a man to tears: 150 phrases to make him shut up

Winning verbal skirmishes will be awarded to those who have enough phrases to insult people subtly and beautifully. Cocky, rude and insolent people will receive a proper response, will be a laughingstock in the circle of friends. Punish such, properly using our tips.

How to call a person a name

The answer to the rudeness does not have to be obscene words. Insulting and offensive phrases should be meaningful, hitting the target. Weigh the consequences before you call anyone names. Then get into a verbal altercation.

  • Your head, in my opinion, is only needed as an ass decoration.
  • With your looks, it’s time to sue your ancestors.
  • You want to kill me morally? Come up with something clever.
  • I don’t even have to hurt you. Life did it for me.
  • Apparently, you were made for a bet.
  • Don’t take your headphones off, you’ll catch a cold!
  • When the stork was carrying you to your parents, he dropped you a couple of times.
  • Don’t mind my yawning. I always do that when I’m wildly curious.
  • I won’t hurt you, don’t worry. The law is clear about the punishment for animal abuse.
  • The Almighty certainly has a sense of humor, if you look at how he created you.
  • Don’t be afraid to go crazy. You have to have a mind inside your skull for that.
  • I see you’re too nervous. I recommend you go somewhere. In the jaw.
  • There’s a huge similarity between you and the memes on the Internet. They, too, are hilarious at first, but then they get annoying.
  • You have a chance to save the environment! Can I get the number of a surgeon to sterilize you?
  • My aquarium newts have more brains than that.
  • You’re like the sea. You’re noisy and you make me sick.
  • I see you’re smart. So smart that you can make sunflower seeds with your own hands.
  • Good for you for chuckling softly. With a jaw like that, you shouldn’t laugh outright.
  • Oh, what’s that smell? Is that your verbal diarrhea?
  • Yeah, having a brain doesn’t prove you’re intelligent at all.
  • Have you tried wearing a red T-shirt? It’s just right for your eyes.
  • You know, the slightest resemblance between a person of intelligence and you is an accident.
  • Are you always this stupid, or is today a special occasion to say stupid things?
  • I wanted to tell you to go fuck yourself. But I see you just came back from there.
  • Your parents must have really wanted you to run away from home.

Even if clever quotes don’t come to mind that will quickly put an unpleasant person in their place, you can always play on their weaknesses. The only prohibition is that physical injuries should not be touched upon in quarrels.

  • Don’t be sad, there are many people like you – without a single talent.
  • Speak, speak. Maybe you’ll come up with something clever.
  • Is it your profession to talk nonsense?
  • You think the louder you shout, the quieter people listen to you?
  • Even if you look like a monster, you don’t have to act like one.
  • You’re so bent, you can’t unbend. I advise you: before you call someone an incomprehensible word, look up the meaning of the insult on the Internet.
  • It’s not hard for me to explain elementary things to you, but there is a risk of damage to your brain from the abundance of information.
  • It’s time to cool down and get some rest. Try lying down. Preferably on the tracks.
  • You know where you should open your mouth? At the dentist.
  • Let your platform honk one more time, and the dental train will have to move on toward the asphalt.
  • See the skirting board down there? Your intellect is right underneath it.
  • I would advise against touching my virtues with your imperfections.
  • Oh, don’t you get a headache when you think like that?
  • Your mouth is like a convenience store: a constantly open window with a boor sticking out of it.
  • You’re probably 20 years scarier than I am.
  • If your parents taught physics, one would assume you were a failed experiment.
  • At the zoo, you’d be a real catch.
  • Oh, what’s on your mind? Come on, it’s too much of a challenge.
  • You’re a miracle because you’re proving the theory that a human being is perfectly capable of existing without a brain. So before you insult me or another person to tears, you will have to learn the alphabet.
  • By your parameters you could easily construct an army of idiots.
  • I don’t remember your name and please don’t remind me of that information.
  • Don’t worry, I have my faults too. The main one is that I can’t be friends with fools.
  • Some cartoons were definitely made with you as the prototype.
  • A good laugh is someone who can do it meaningfully. That doesn’t apply to you.
  • You get a prize for winning the stupidest face contest.

How to insult someone to tears

Before you try to insult a stranger or someone you know to tears, calculate what happens next. If there is still to communicate, it can interfere with work, meeting with friends. In that case, it is better to choose neutral phrases to insult subtly and not too offensive. There are many ways to harbor any person with words. Below are a few easy harmless phrases.

  • Oh, don’t laugh. I have a childhood fear of horses.
  • Let me guess what your zodiac sign is. Sheep?
  • I’m not gonna make fun of you, God’s already done enough of that.
  • Someone told you you were very smart, didn’t they? Oh, you made up your mind!
  • Do you love wildlife? How, even after what she did to you?!
  • I know why you want to pry into other people’s lives. Your own is a failure.
  • Looks like your wit is long overdue for a sharpening. It’s too dull.
  • Turn around, please. Looking at you makes me nauseous.
  • You’ve rattled the chain enough, it’s time to go back to the booth.
  • The brain’s probably out for a walk. Don’t worry, he’ll be here soon. Or he won’t.
  • You know, sometimes it’s better to leave without saying goodbye, in English. Otherwise, I know how to send in other languages, too. I, unlike you, know how to cover up a tedious person with a phrase.
  • That’s why scientists don’t tell the whole truth. Seeing you, I understand that some dinosaurs still roam the planet.
  • Everything you say is in vain. Trying to prove something to someone has failed again.
  • Look, man, I understand your nervousness. Your girlfriend has an organ bigger than yours, huh?
  • Oh, you’re so cool! Just remember, balls of steel are good in your pants, not in your head.
  • Hey, that perfect white smile of yours wasn’t made with your grandmother’s dentures, was it?
  • You know, if idiots flew, you’d have to move to an airfield.
  • Even if you think you’ve grown wings, you shouldn’t carp about it to everyone.
  • I’m sorry, but your nonsense is giving me an allergy attack.
  • Shouldn’t you be getting home? My mother’s here, and she brought me some milk.
  • You see, there are not only God’s creatures, but also rather unpleasant God’s creatures.
  • It’s just unthinkable: a thinking plant!
  • It’s a sin to be offended by you. You can’t even hit me – it’s my principle not to offend idiots.
  • Tell me, can I know the date when your brains come back from their business trip?
  • I don’t think we can agree, I don’t speak idiotic.

Don’t rush to memorize phrases that are guaranteed to put a man in his place. Make a line of thought for yourself. Make your opponent stunned, left with his mouth open. Find his weakness and don’t make it personal (relatives, injuries, etc.).

  • I know why you are trying to insult me. Covering for your worthlessness.
  • My ego is at a perfect level. And yours indicates wretchedness.
  • While you’re insulting me, you’re proving your worthlessness.
  • Nothing to distinguish yourself with? At least use your marrow.
  • I’m afraid you’re going to have a hard time picking up broken teeth off the floor with your broken hands.
  • You look like a computer. You make mistakes quickly and chaotically.
  • Oh, I don’t know what to bail you out with. Do you want an empty bottle?
  • I don’t get it, are you trying to be rude or are you just listing compound words with meanings you don’t understand? Before you shit on someone, look up the meaning of the words in the dictionary.
  • No, I’m not trying to ignore you at all. I just don’t notice.
  • Time to pack up and go where you haven’t been since you were born.
  • What’s attractive about you is your soul. You just can’t see it.
  • I like your face, unspoiled by intelligence.
  • Say something else. As you talk, I feel like an institute professor.
  • I don’t think badly of you. I never take the time to think about such a lowlife at all.
  • I feel sorry for you. It must be hard to keep quiet when you have nothing to say at all, but you really want to.
  • I suggest we get back to talking when the ability to think comes back to your head.
  • You’re grasping at your head, is that how you get your wits about you?
  • No, I’m not making a fool of you. You’re doing just fine without me.
  • Tell me, where do they teach you how to talk dirty with a pure heart?
  • If they think you’re an idiot, I suggest you keep your mouth shut. Why disappoint people.
  • I try to avoid conflict, so I don’t mess with assholes like you. You don’t need to find phrases to shut a person like you up. Simple ignoring is better than words.
  • Oh, how difficult for humanity with you!
  • Why should I be offended? It’s okay, my neighbor is not an intellectual either.
  • If you have a right to speak your mind, I have just as much right not to listen.
  • Your delusion has deepened so much that you have begun to delude even the depth of that very delusion.

How to cover up a person with a phrase

Sometimes all it takes to end an empty argument is to shelter a person with a tag line, and learn how to do it from the examples below. Don’t stoop to foul language, keep yourself and the Russian language respectful.

  • I’m not going to send you, and don’t ask me to. It makes no sense. After all, you go there more often than you go to the store.
  • You get the impression that the inner core is your pain in the ass.
  • It’s not the hands that are crooked, it’s the twists.
  • Help our company by decorating it with your absence.
  • Sometimes you remind me of Pushkin. And immediately my hand reaches for an imaginary gun. In those days, harsh insults without foul language were considered grounds for a duel.
  • Don’t go away, it was so much fun without you…
  • Don’t rush to the afterlife. They won’t start without you.
  • You don’t mind that I’m a little too intellectual for you, do you?
  • Imagine, Mozart was already dead at your age. And what have you achieved?
  • Machine malfunctions are fixed. The same goes for computer brain failures. But your dna malfunction is more complicated. It’s permanent.
  • Why do you need a machine? You’re perfectly capable of braking yourself.
  • You’re not exactly a natural. You’re more of a nugget.
  • Don’t be sad that your hands are a bit crooked. But you’ve got a straight brain!
  • Don’t strain your brain. If it has a thought, the only thought is to get some sleep.
  • Unfortunately, beauty and kindness are not one of your virtues.
  • Looks like a bear not only stepped on your ear, but also stomped well on your face.
  • Trust me, brains aren’t everything. Although, to you, it’s nothing at all.
  • It’s better to be quiet. When you talk, you only prove that you opened your mouth for nothing. Teach you how to be rude first, beautifully and without swearing at all.
  • I think your only superpower is to create ashes out of a cigarette.
  • You don’t know whether to go to your place or mine? Let’s each go to our own place.
  • I suspect you were the one that scared the Beebieke as a child.
  • Believe me, if you don’t call today, I’ll dial the number myself. But not yours.
  • I listen to the opinions of those I respect. It’s none of your business.
  • Don’t worry, you won’t lose your mind. You have to have at least a little bit of it.
  • You want to bicker? There’s a bunch of dogs waiting for you at the nearest junkyard.

When choosing how to shut the unpleasant person up, it is advisable to choose insults without foul language. It is important to preserve your own dignity. Don’t stoop to bazaar profanity. Practice in front of a mirror to say the phrases from the article, feel confident.

  • Oops, I was thinking, I was listening. Repeat what you said about five minutes ago.
  • It’s funny to notice how all the words you know are trying to stick together into one sentence.
  • Yeah, there are a lot of stupid people on the planet. Thanks to you, I was able to figure that out.
  • If you try to wash your face, there’s a small chance of washing away the idiocy written all over your face.
  • Believe me, you can’t make up for your lack of brains with anything else.
  • I’d call her an aphid, but I don’t want to insult her by comparing her to you.
  • No, I don’t think you’re a mistake of nature. Rather the result of a chain of disasters.
  • While you are silent, those around you still doubt your stupidity.
  • Trust me, the mirror doesn’t lie to you. And be thankful it doesn’t know how to laugh.
  • If you’re two-faced, try to humanize at least one of your faces.
  • I remember seeing something that reminded me of you the other day, and I pressed the toilet flush button.
  • Your problem is hard to understand, and you can’t even pronounce it.
  • Yes, I’m not perfect. But luckily, neither are you.
  • You’re like a cloud. When you evaporate, everything immediately brightens up around you.
  • Don’t you want a rude answer? Don’t ask stupid questions.
  • If I promise to be boring without you, will you promise to leave?
  • Better exercise your right to remain silent. Because everything you’ve said sounds silly.
  • If I could only tell you how happy it is to be rid of your presence in this room!
  • Hear that ringing silence? That’s the sound of my indifference to anything you choose to say.
  • You are not guilty of anything. Stupidity is not considered a crime.
  • If you made a run for it as often as you do verbiage, you’d be a champion.
  • You were recently told you were cool. That was a joke.
  • Try rolling your eyes to see if you can find your brain.
  • I suggest you play a game of “Get out of my face.”
  • Look, you can show off your stupidity for the rest of your life. And today you deserve a day off.

The choice of phrases to insult a person wisely is quite extensive. You should say it confidently, calmly, without hysteria. Just don’t overdo it. It is easy to crush a person with words. If the purpose – just to wean off boorishness, act according to the situation, but do not cross the line of propriety.

If you have other ideas how to insult anyone without foul language, and even with clever words, share in the comments.

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