How do you tell a guy you don’t like him? Teach a Teenage Girl
Unfortunately, it happens in life that not every love is reciprocated. Your daughter may like a guy. She may not like him.
One day he will actively start to show sympathy. The girl won’t know what to do. She won’t know how to tell him she doesn’t like him. And, accordingly, will turn to you for advice.
To tell the guy that you do not like him, you can use a number of ways. Recommend them to the teenage girl. And she will be able to painlessly for the guy to admit that she does not feel anything for him.
How to tell a guy that you do not like him as gently as possible?
Talk about the lack of sympathy need the right time and the right place
If a teenage girl wants to admit to a guy that she does not like him, it should be done immediately. Not a few months after the beginning of the “love affair. Her task is to call the guy in as quiet a place as possible. And confess her lack of sympathy there.
Proceed as follows. The teenage girl should approach the guy when he is not doing anything. Ask him to step aside. And start a conversation.
It is very important that at this time the teenager’s thoughts were not occupied with something important. For example, he should not be preparing for the test. Or talking to his friends.
Also, it is very important that during a conversation between teenagers there were no strangers. It will negatively affect the course of the conversation. Because teenagers will be distracted.
Before she confesses, the teenage girl must smooth out the angles.
Smoothing the edges is very important. Because if the girl tells the truth right away, without prior preparation, it will negatively affect the mood of the teenager. He will take offense and his self-esteem will be hurt.
Smooth the edges with the following words:
- “You’re a great guy.”
- “I really like being friends with you.”
- “You’re a very interesting person.”
At the same time, it is important to say the words as carefully as possible. Otherwise, the guy can misinterpret the message of the words of a teenage girl. And he will not understand that he was confessed to the lack of sympathy.
In the next step, the teenage girl needs to confess her lack of feelings. This moment will be quite unpleasant. But, such is life. The teenage girl will have to do it sooner or later.
Talk about the lack of sympathy should be immediately after the words “You’re a wonderful person,” “You’re a good friend,” and so on. If you delay, it may end badly. For the reason that the guy may misinterpret the situation. He will think that the teenage girl wants to ask him out on a date.
To say in this situation should be approximately the following: “You are a wonderful person. I know that you show sympathy for me. But I, unfortunately, do not like you. I’m sorry.”
The teenage girl will need to listen to what the guy says
After the teenage girl tells the truth, she will feel very uncomfortable. However, there is only one thing left for her to do now. Wait a little while. And listen to the answer the teenager will give her.
Even if the teenage girl wants to leave at the same moment, tell her to stay where she is. Let her listen to the guy she’ll be talking to. That way she’ll show him some respect. And get a chance to smooth things over.
Tell the teenage girl not to say “I’m sorry” too often. There is nothing to apologize for. Tell the teenage girl that she can’t regulate her feelings. Therefore, she shouldn’t feel guilty.
Tell a teenage girl to ask her boyfriend to stay friends
Tell a teenage girl to talk to her boyfriend. And, if she wants to, offer to be friends. If the teenager doesn’t want that, then the situation will end differently. The teenage girl may end up communicating with him.
However, there is no need to be offended in this case. The teenage girl also needs to get into the guy’s position. It is quite difficult to be friends with someone you love. Therefore, with this situation is not everyone can handle. Many teenagers simply stop communicating with the girl who denied them sympathy. You need to be prepared for this, too.
Tell the teenage girl to try to end the conversation on the best possible note
A conversation between a teenage girl and a guy who likes her is going to be pretty tough. And, for both of them. After the conversation ends, the teenage girl will need to smooth things over. Try to end the conversation at a fun moment. So that the guy gets less upset.
Also, you can say some kind of compliment at the end. It will have a positive effect on the guy. And maybe even lift his spirits. For example, you can say, “I hope you’re not very offended. I wish you happiness, so I’m telling you about the lack of sympathy right away. It would be much worse than if we started dating, and then, after a while, you would find out that I don’t like you. In that case, your heart would really be broken.” Words like that can have a positive effect on a teenager. And make it so that he will not be offended by the teenage girl. He will take what he says in the right way.
If the teenage girl wants to be friends with the teenager, let her give him some time
If the teenage girl wants to keep in touch with the teenager, let her give him some time. The teenager will need that time to think things over. And for the feelings for the teenage girl to fade away.
It will take a guy a few weeks to bounce back. Or months. And only after that can he agree to go out with a teenage girl again.
After the lady offers to stay friends, it is important to wait some time. And do not take the initiative. If the guy wants to start communicating again, he will write. If not, it means he doesn’t want a friendship with a teenage girl. Accordingly, it is not necessary to impose on his daughter.
Alternative ways in which a teenage girl can tell about the lack of sympathy
There are alternative ways by which a teenage girl can reject a young man. They are also quite effective.
A teenage girl can call a guy
Tell a teenage girl to reject a guy over the phone. Have her dial him. And report the information into the receiver. This will be a little easier than in person. But it’s not easy either.
Talk on the phone tell the girl as gently as possible. So as not to upset the person even more. At the same time, you should say exactly the same thing that the girl would say in person.
For example, a lady might say: “It pleases me that you like me. But I don’t feel sympathy for you. After that, the girl should listen to what the teenager says. And respond with as much understanding as possible.
A teenage girl can tell about the lack of feelings with a text message
To inform about the fact that the person is not liked, by text message – not the best option. However, if a teenage girl has a hard time doing it in person, it’s fine too. Saying you don’t like someone by text is much better than not saying anything at all. And torturing a teenager for a long time.
The message a teenage girl should make as brief and clear as possible. It should be straightforward. Otherwise, the guy will be confused. And do not understand what he wanted to convey.
The teenage girl can write to the guy on the Internet.
Suggest that a teenage girl start a conversation about feelings with a teenager online. Young people use this method of communication in a variety of situations. Accordingly, it can be used for serious dialogues as well.
That said, recommend that you start talking about feelings to a teenage girl right away. If there will be a very long correspondence before the confession, it will negatively affect the teenager. And it will upset him even more. Since the conversation was initially about aloof topics, he won’t be ready for an abrupt change in the direction of the dialogue. And will be even more upset by the news he hears.
When someone doesn’t like someone, it always hurts. Tell your teenage girl to hold the conversation with the young man in love with her as delicately as possible. She needs to understand that he is likely to be hurt. She needs to choose her expressions as carefully and correctly as possible.
Tell the teenage girl that one day she too may find herself in a situation where she was rejected. In that case, she would probably want to be treated delicately. Accordingly, she should also behave appropriately with a guy who is in love with her.
How to tell a guy that I do not like him
Often there are situations when a girl has been friends with a guy for some time and she begins to realize that the young man falls in love with her and she is indifferent to him. The question arises of itself, how to tell the guy that she does not represent him as her chosen one, because she does not like him, but her friendship with him she appreciates.
To do this, we suggest you read the recommendations below.
If a girl is sure that at her sight young man “fluttering butterflies in the stomach,” then it is time to admit to him that she has no romantic feelings for him. To do this, must pull together with fortitude and tell the admirer of this at the right time.
Choosing the right place for this, making sure that it did not cause a romantic notion, because to hear such news during dinner in a cafe, meeting together a sunset, will be a few unexpected and incomprehensible.
A cozy place in the park for such a confession will be the most acceptable place, the optimal time is the first half of the day, as the nighttime suggests a romantic mood.
It is important to choose a time and a place away from acquaintances, so that you could really get some privacy, and no one would distract you.
It is necessary to take into account that the guy will feel uncomfortable if there are unwilling listeners of the confession.
Telling a guy that I don’t like him is quite morally difficult. It requires a psychological attitude. You should also make sure that the young man at the moment of saying these words is calm and not strongly immersed in other worries. You can not say bad news at night or before an important event on the eve, such as an exam.
The main thing is not to procrastinate with the confession, the longer the guy is in the unknown, the harder it will be for him to know the truth.
It is important to prepare the right words in advance. It is not necessary to apologize, but you should say that the attitude towards him is purely friendly, without any clarification as to why he is not liked as a young man.
You can rehearse the speech in your voice to sound more confident when the moment of recognition comes.
Anticipate the reaction of the guy
It is desirable to anticipate the reaction of the young man so that you know what words to choose as a consolation. A girl should not apologize for not reciprocating, but to cheer her up, saying that he is a great guy and will certainly find someone – this will be appropriate.
The most important thing is to be honest. Do not waste your time. The girl should admit that she realizes that she likes her, but she doesn’t see the young man as her boyfriend. Adding that she can’t do it any other way and it’s not easy for her to admit it, but it’s necessary. A guy will certainly appreciate honesty.
Honesty does not require that the girl list in order the reasons why she rejects the young man. It’s okay if the girl doesn’t have feelings for the guy, but the guy shouldn’t feel somehow “flawed” if he’s given “resignation.”
It’s important to make it clear that if a guy doesn’t like you now, he won’t be attractive to a girl a year from now either. It’s rash to say that she is not thinking about a relationship now, and will think about it when she finishes, for example, an academic institution. You should stick to your position firmly.
The more clearly expressed the girl, the faster the guy will cool down in a romantic sense. It is not necessary to give the guy hope if the young person does not plan to build a relationship with him, otherwise the young man will stay in expectation.
It should be understood that to be decisive, it does not mean to be cruel. To apologize in this situation will be unnecessary, to show pity also senseless. This will not change the situation. If a guy doesn’t like one girl, it doesn’t mean that the other girl won’t appreciate him.
Lying and making up excuses why a girl doesn’t want to date is the worst thing a young person can do. You should specifically say that there is no feelings, there is no point in going on a date. It is deceptive to think that excuses and lies will help the young man to get over the rejection easier. He will immediately notice that the girl lies and will feel worse.
If a girl respects her friend, she will be completely honest and sincere with him, not afraid to tell the guy that she does not like him and she does not consider him her future partner.
So don’t come up with meaningless excuses like:
– “It’s not you, it’s me.”
– “There’s so much going on right now.”
– “You’ll find a better one.”
– “I like you, but I want to keep our friendship.”
A particularly persistent young man should tell the girl that she has long loved someone else, and he has no chance of winning her heart.
At the end of the conversation you can emphasize that the girl treasures the relationship that she has at the moment, and express a wish with the hope that she would like to keep the friendship in the same format, because it is meaningful to her.
It is necessary to be sincere, to look into the eyes without looking away, to speak slowly. Trying too hard is not appropriate, describing the best features of the young man, it will look insincere: “like you’re a good guy, but I don’t want to date you for some reason”.
Give the guy a chance to talk.
A young man will have something to say after he listens to the girl. Whatever the guy’s reaction is, he needs to be listened to, because his pride will be hurt. Let him talk, you shouldn’t interrupt him.
After admitting that you don’t like the guy, it’s unnecessary for the girl to feel uncomfortable. There is a chance that there will be meetings in the future, but this does not mean that you should avoid them, blush or somehow behave unnaturally. It is important to remain calm and friendly, ignoring the young man will be wrong. It would be better to keep silent about the situation so as not to make the young man feel uncomfortable in the company of mutual friends. From time to time it is appropriate to invite the guy somewhere so that he won’t think that his communication is being avoided.
Become friends again.
It takes time to establish a relationship with a young man who has opened up about his feelings. After a couple of months, you can try to establish previous communication or even spend leisure time together. Often it happens that it is impossible to resume the friendship, as communication will make the young man worse. In this situation you need to accept his decision and live with it somehow.
Author : Practical psychologist Vedmesh N.A.
Speaker of the Medical and Psychological Center “PsychoMed”.