How to get your ex back?

How to get your ex-boyfriend back

Contributor(s): Lisa Shield. Lisa Shield is a dating and relationship specialist based in Los Angeles. She has a master’s degree in spiritual psychology and is a certified relationship and lifestyle coach with more than 17 years of experience. She has been published in The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, LA Times and Cosmopolitan.

Number of sources used in this article: 9. You will find a list of them at the bottom of the page.

Number of views of this article: 420 948.

Have you broken up with a young man but want to rebuild your relationship? If so, do not think that your situation is hopeless. Very often it happens that young people decide to take a pause in the relationship, and then after a while they resume it again. So do not lose hope. However, before you try to get back ex-boyfriends, think about why you broke up. By doing so, you won’t make the mistakes that prevented you from building a relationship the first time around. Below you will find step-by-step instructions to help you get your ex-boyfriend back.

In the section “When to try to rebuild a relationship”, you can find information on when you should try to rebuild a relationship with your boyfriend.

  • It is very important that you understand where you were wrong. It is known that both parties are always to blame for the conflict. If you want to get your ex-boyfriend back, then stop blaming him for the fact that you broke up. It is unlikely that you will be able to repair the relationship this way.

  • If your ex-boyfriend was physically or emotionally abusive to you or otherwise abusive to you, that relationship is not worth fighting for. You may miss your ex-boyfriend, even if your relationship was far from perfect. However, remember, you deserve better.

  • That doesn’t mean you need to avoid your ex-boyfriend if you go to the same school or have mutual friends and acquaintances. Take a break from the relationship, don’t call your ex-boyfriend or spend time with him. Thanks to this you will have the opportunity to reflect on your feelings, calm down and make the right decision.
  • If your ex-boyfriend is trying in every way to continue communicating with you, tell him that you want to take a break so that his emotions can subside and he can think about what happened. Tell him that it doesn’t mean you don’t want to communicate with him, it’s just an opportunity to analyze the situation. This is especially important to do if the guy you like is a little shy or unsure of himself.
  • He needs time to feel how much he misses you too!

Dating Coach

Lisa Shield is a Los Angeles-based dating and relationship specialist. She has a master’s degree in spiritual psychology and is a certified relationship and lifestyle coach with more than 17 years of experience. She has been published in The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, LA Times and Cosmopolitan.

Use this time to better understand the root of the problem in your relationship. Lisa Shield, a relationship expert, adds: “Many of us are afraid to date people after a breakup. All because of a lack of analysis of what we’ve done wrong in the past. Take some time to reflect on your own actions and those of your boyfriend. If you don’t, it’s a lot harder to move on.

Be prepared for a negative result. When trying to win back a young man, you must understand that your expectations may not be met. Even if you manage to restore the relationship, you cannot be completely sure that it will be strong and long-lasting. Therefore, prepare yourself for this in advance, so that the second time not to experience disappointment.

How to get your ex-boyfriend back

Do you know the acute feeling of longing, when you lie in bed, unable to get up and suffering from the pain of loss? It’s a feeling familiar to anyone who has lost a date earlier than expected. What a blessing that The Knife exists, that catechism for the lost, the bible of the hungry and the koran of depressants!

Keep the friendships alive.

Whether you were kicked out in disgrace from your shared nest after an innocent hug with his brother or he ran off on his own, leaving a “long explanation, it’s about me” text message, the key remains the same: to get close to the lost one and bring him back into the fold, you need him to loosen up and stop running from you like the plague.

Wrong: after the breakup call thirty times a day, write messages listing the benefits of your relationship (“now who’s going to do your laundry, you’re going to rot alive”) and manipulative jerks (“what are you doing, or I’m breaking the glass now, like chocolate in my hand”).

Right: Make it clear that you yourself are tired of the relationship with him (“it’s cool that you brought it up first, because I couldn’t tell you myself”), but you don’t dislike him or harbor any ill feelings of affection.

Fade from the horizon.

Imagine how much he was sick of the very fact of your presence in the world, if your mumble decided to tell you about it (if your macho sacrificed the status of a man with a successful relationship, if your domestic Priap voluntarily gave up regular free sex).

Wrong: “you can worry about me, so know – everything is fine with me, there is no better way”, “if you want to tell me something, tell me now, soon I won’t have time for this”, “I’m leaving forever, don’t look for me, there is no wi-fi in the Krishna community near Kaluga”.

Correct: “… last time I was online was 10 days ago.

Take a pause for thought.

Disappearing from the horizon is necessary to understand how it happened – six months ago he was rejoicing at the prospect of lending a hundred thousand to your father, and last week the same person fell asleep in the midst of sexting. Three to six weeks is plenty of time to come to some conclusions.

Wrong: “Vanderzin’s right, monogamy doesn’t exist,” “I have a generic curse on me,” “I’m just a nobody, a kikimora, a mistake of evolution.

Right: remember what he praised you for, and what moments were the cause of conflicts. Honestly evaluate yourself on the parameters of “nice to talk to” and “nice to look at”, draw conclusions, interview mutual friends, make a plan to correct mistakes.

Rise from the ashes.

It would seem difficult to make a man to love again a woman who regularly gives him nightmares. On the other hand, you somehow managed to snag him the first time around, so in theory a reunion is possible. The key here is to present yourself to him as a different person – one who has retained the old positive traits while gaining new, attractive and intriguing ones.

If you were known as an active, witty lady (that is, he remembered you as a psychologically disturbed ulcer), imagine that you need an Oscar for your role as the Turgenev girl. Champion of natural style time to think about the fact that her careful nude makeup and expensive ombré ex could take in the spirit of “all the girls are like girls, but mine is always faded hair and at least once makeup. Hlopid clean-cook it’s time to transform from mom to his girlfriend, and self-confident know-it-all workaholic add some airiness to your emotionally emasculating image of the terminator.

Make him feel good when you meet him.

Nothing pleases a woman more than admiring her, and nothing pleases a man more than admitting he’s right. Avoid references to a shared past and nip the inner manipulator in the bud. Keep a level and friendly, do not pry into the soul, do not ask for anything, do not offer or advise. If you notice a tear in his voice, go wash your face with cold water and eat something long chewed. Nice for him to talk – one that is not in danger of turning into a tantrum, and you have not matured to a neutral communication.

Wrong: “well hello, detached”, “you know how much I spent this month on the psychoanalyst?”, “you have an original, um, mustache”, “well, how are you there, tell me, we are not strangers with you”, “I missed you, and you miss me? At least a little bit, admit it?”, “you look good in a new tie, is it someone’s gift?”

Right: “oh, hi” (back to reading a magazine, level 260 of your favorite game, interrupted conversation), “okay, didn’t get much sleep” (when asked “how are you doing anyway?”), “bought my mom the phone you advised – she loves it, thanks.”

Hide your emotions about his new girlfriend.

Naturally, the sight of a freshly minted couple makes you want to yell “God, how low you’ve fallen!” Or, conversely, you can clearly hear your self-esteem being shattered. Hang in there, it’s only one lost battle, the war will be won by you if you organize a proper campaign.

– Become buddies with his new woman. First, the enemy will be close and will get used to trusting you with his thoughts. Secondly, sooner or later you will unite against him in a situation that will cause him a rush of unpleasant feelings not only for you (you’ll get over it), but also for your replacement. Do not scare away the victim with Eastern friendliness: first look closely, assess, act gradually. A good start with a compliment and a small request that will require a minimum of effort from her and cause a maximum of gratitude: “Excuse me for being cheeky, but you’re wearing that perfect dress that I’ve been looking for two months for my sister’s wedding, tell me where they sell them? Top notch is a request after which you add each other on social media, and there you can easily give away the kind of content to become her best friend.

– Share funny embarrassing stories with her that he’d rather forget: “Didn’t he tell you how drunk he went to take a leak on the wall of the Rabiza and sang Boyarsky and fought with bums at the station?”

– In conversations with ex-boyfriends unobtrusively take the side of his girlfriend so that she soon become disgusted with him: “we were given shampoos at work,” Horse Power “, so I brought you – my head than you can wash anything, and yours is complaining about the loss of his thin hair, here, take three bottles, soon 8 March.

Disguise your interest

The ex is a suspicious creature, he will only start trusting you when his attention is dulled by factors that disarm you: you are experimenting with your bisexuality, going to America to a rich retiree who adores you on Skype, or are head over heels in love with the married brother of the boss. The more details you leak to the public, the faster you’ll be believed. Share fears about the unreliability of long-distance relationships and concerns about marriage “May-December” retell in your own words silly stories from women’s forums – your personal life acquaintances will soon be hooked on, as on the show, and no one will guess what your true evil plan is.

Show progress.

By acting on the instructions, you’ve already eliminated the major lapses in your image that made your lover cringe at the thought of ever being in the same building as you. But there is no limit to perfection, new heights are in the pipeline:

– stop whining and scolding everything you see on the internet and in life;

– Get a normal haircut (not for three hundred rubles at a stall near the subway), throw out all the things you do not like yourself, all the old things, all things in the style of “normcore in the village;

– give up the habit of living other people’s lives, whether it’s hours-long conversations with troubled relatives or public debates about the advisability of a new tax policy – this swamp will eat up your energy for change;

– give up self-reflection if your reflection sessions end in sobbing and candy eating;

– find at least one intellectually stimulating activity that you really enjoy;

– keep up to date with news in the areas he or she is following, don’t offer a suspiciously qualified opinion, but be willing to support the conversation;

– Make a list of things to like about you and ask a neutral man to proofread it.

Cultivate his interest.

Everyone has moments of weakness; your former lover and recent friend will have them too. Do not throw yourself into a maelstrom: If he had a fight with his girlfriend, crying and climbing into your cleavage, the chances are that in the morning your months of efforts will go awry: he will be ashamed and break all ties with you. On the contrary, participation and smooth detachment true girlfriend will command respect and reward a hundredfold. To arouse his interest, it is enough:

– Be better than his old self and his new date in the aspects that are important to him, from understanding Hameroff-Penrose theory to blow job technique;

– to be in the same circles as he is;

– to attract the admiring attention of other men;

– Have something more important in your life than studying, beauty blogging, and rehashing your relationship with him.

If you’ve gotten to this point and he hasn’t gone happily married with a pregnant bride by then, chances are good that his next girlfriend will be you again.

Leave a Comment