The wife does not appreciate and does not respect her husband: how to restore authority
A modern man can earn well, in life be very courageous, decisive, but in the family do not have the slightest respect from first the spouse, and then the children. This is a life catastrophe, first for the whippersnapper, and then for the offspring, because growing up in such a family environment, children have a number of psychological problems in the future.
This article is a very valuable treasure trove of wisdom that you won’t find anywhere else on the Internet (unless, of course, it’s stolen from FOZO.info). Why valuable? Because 90% of psychologists and coaches give completely ridiculous advice that leads to only one thing: divorce.
Some of these wrong pieces of advice include:
Push your wife into a rigid frame of reference;
Ice voice demand to boil borscht;
Threaten a divorce, to show serious intentions for it (the wife should be frightened);
To disappear for a week or a couple of days, to live separately;
Beat his wife;
List all of her faults in front of the neighbors;
And so on. These methods almost never give the desired result, except to aggravate the conflict. This is especially terrible if the man himself is particularly nothing, his wife is bored and tired, and he is waiting that humiliation, threats and sudden tough commands suddenly correct her.
If the wife herself is already set up to break up, then such recommendations defenders of men’s honor will only lead to a divorce.
Remember: male authority can always be restored. And any marriage can be saved. The problem is that many men do not understand the correct model of behavior in the modern family.
Why does the wife’s behavior change after marriage?
Surely before the wedding you were fine. She was nice, accommodating, admired you, but after a few years of cohabitation turned into a hysteric and a meger. Various men’s psychology coaches call your wife’s former behavior “demo mode,” and they say that when she “turns it off,” it’s useless to fix things. This is usually untrue.
A wife’s changed bad behavior can be triggered by a variety of reasons. This can be physical fatigue, hormonal failure, internal depression on the background of the same age changes or childbirth, personality crises.
About the physiological and personal factor should be remembered by all men, before you start to raise your spouse.
Remember one very important truth:
If a child cries and hurts because he is tired – it is useless to scold and spank him, he will only yell more. He needs to be consoled, and put to bed, and bring up when he comes to his senses.
Very often the wrong behavior of his wife provokes his own inaction and concessions to the man himself. He initially put himself a non-conflict equal partner, constantly suffered whims, let the family management on its own, spoiled his wife, voluntarily took on most of the responsibilities of the house, and thus he dropped his authority below the plinth.
You don’t have to blame yourself for this. Deer syndrome is the scourge of modern men.
Our society is patriarchal, slave-like, it cannot exist without a leader. Everyone remembers what the country became after democracy was established. People were given freedom, but instead of using it properly, they started drinking, drug addiction, and criminal activity. Most of our wives have a Soviet mentality, not a European one; they don’t understand the basics of democratic partnership, so they subconsciously expect their husbands to control them.
Young husbands in Russia do not understand that a wife needs to be managed, she needs to be constantly educated, and her energy and time should be spent on this. Often this is because husbands in Russia were brought up by their mothers while their fathers worked hard from morning till night.
When the husband is too lazy to do the upbringing, the relationship deteriorates, the wife drives her husband under the thumb, starts to fool herself, and makes the whole family suffer.
Managing a family is difficult, but going through these challenges will make you a leader with a stable psyche. You will grow morally if you take care of your family – this is a guarantee.
You have to fight for your family, or you can’t.
The first attitude is: your wife is a difficult teenager and you are a teacher. You have to deal with a minimum of emotion to re-educate your spouse. It’s a long process, but it will be fruitful if you do it.
When to give in and when not? How do you respond to tantrums?
Most wives manipulate their husbands very easily. For example, they throw tantrums, can threaten suicide, children, and so on.
Here it is necessary to distinguish very clearly what causes this tantrum. If you can see that the real tears are flowing, that the woman is tired, tired, lost control, twitching, squealing, then beat her or admonish her with words makes no sense.
In such cases, no matter how difficult, but it is better to just hug and pity. Be quiet and caress her so that her emotions can go away. Let her rest, sleep, feed her. You need to talk to her afterwards, when she has made contact with you and she has come to her senses.
Women are very weak now, they can barely cope with one child. But criticism, scolding, harsh reactions do not make them stronger. This is not the army kicking the laggards. Understand this: women think differently! Adviser hard to build a woman – burn it!
You have to give in in the following cases:
When the wife is unable to control her emotions. The teacher pulls a grade on a weak student to make him believe in himself, or deliberately does not ask, gives to sit back.
When the wife’s arguments are really reasonable. The student told the teacher the right solution, the teacher praises him, gives him an “A”, and allows him not to stay for after-school care.
If you do not own yourself, it is better to leave the house, wait outside for a couple of hours until things calm down. The main thing – do not allow large-scale family scenes, not to descend into screaming and beating. This is in your own legal interest, and the children’s psyche will be safer.
A great way to respond to tantrums – a boycott. Be quiet for a couple of days, during this period her emotions will come to naught, thinking will begin to dominate the tantrums.
IMPORTANT: Tantrums can be (and often are) played manipulation. Tantrums can also be a necessary release of emotion, there are women of this type who need to yell. The task of the man – briefly hug, pity, but do not get involved in these games, do not go for manipulation.
Otherwise, it takes a gradual introduction of the rules and principles by which the family should exist to restore authority. Once a woman feels the strength of her companion, that he is not led to her games, she will become an obedient spouse, although sometimes she will try her old tricks.
Immediately restore authority is impossible. But it is necessary to take a course on this without delay. Gradual reforms – the key to success.
So, what is needed in the restoration of respect from his wife:
Silence. Less words – more action. Taciturnity and poise immediately raise the male authority.
Determine her responsibilities. Give tasks (start with small ones), praise when she does them, encourage small gifts, if she does badly or does not do them, then punish them, but not to the point of a scandal. Gradually transfer all of the women’s responsibilities for the house to her;
Develop a family development strategy (ask about her dreams, desires, make a plan to fulfill them, show that with you she will reach the heights), show the dynamics of development constantly, so you do not look empty-headed;
Take care of the kids – sports, activities, walks, develop them, be a good father;
Give your wife at least some personal time, especially for rest and sleep;
Take on men’s household chores, demonstrate the importance of doing them, teach them to respect your work;
Suppress criticism of yourself. This is a taboo, a prohibition, a law, its violation leads to disaster. You can always suggest, but you can’t condemn. This opinion must be reinforced by any means (conversation, jokes, deeds);
Your wife needs to let you know that you are taking the situation into your own hands. Constantly emphasize that you are the head of the family, and she is your favorite deputy.
Dominate in sex, do it firmly, actively, you can even with a beastly growl;
It is very important to gradually move to the management of finances, that is, his salary to give a portion, pay for utilities and major expenditures to take into their own hands (if previously it was engaged in it). Immediately it is difficult to do this if your spouse previously managed your salary, but at least gradually lead up to this and prepare.
If your spouse is working, she should bear some of the costs of the family.
It is important to start immediately personal growth. Push-ups, watch your figure, give up the family underpants and holey socks, smell good to be trim. A teacher should look perfect, behave perfectly, control emotions and manage the student.
The educator becomes the captain.
As his wife’s authority and upbringing are restored, and in the process of upbringing itself, the educator-pupil formula should change to “captain-deputy.” That is, the wife should be given a certain field of responsibility, where she will exercise her creative abilities.
Again, women’s ideas and suggestions should not be rejected completely, you can not break on her knee all her desires. Let her develop in her own – feminine. Enjoy her life, her positions as a wife and mother.
It should be understood that very often the wife becomes harmful and uncontrollable, not because of her rambling, but because her husband suppresses all her attempts to do something good for the house, considers any manifestation of her initiative suppression of his authority. As a result, her self-esteem drops, which is also bad.
Thus, the secret of parenting comes down to the following:
Your wife should respect you, but also feel that you love her, appreciate her, listen to her opinion (but the decision is yours);
Don’t stop her from speaking out, but cut off the criticism;
Do not make excuses. Bosses are not late, they are delayed;
The wife must understand that you are the only one who runs the family, and you are the only one who leads this ship forward;
The wife must have her own creativity, her own boundaries of power, money for ice cream;
She has no right to criticize you, and this is the law in the family, but can offer and support;
All of your wife’s dreams will only come true with you;
You are a clean, fit, strong man, with a sense of dignity, able to control emotions.
Show your wife that you are cunning. Humor her, it defuse the situation, shine your mind, encourage her to flirt, where you metropolitan dodger with a subtle humor, and she is so, pretty provincial. Humor, sneaky jokes, compliments – defuse the situation.
Follow this strategy, your credibility slowly begins to be restored. Adult fully rehabilitate difficult, but to restore order in the family, to put overturned train on the rails, and most sit at the controls of the engine – quite realistic.
And another important tip – stay away from relatives and girlfriends, keep your wife from gossip, and do not let her gossip.
How to put your wife in her place and make her respect.
In order for a woman to fall in love, you can not even do anything, it often happens by itself. But for a woman to respect, and this respect has been maintained for many years, you need to make an effort. Men often face the problem that in marriage a woman ceases to show respect. This problem is especially acute in our time, because now women have become independent in most cases from their spouse, so they allow themselves to disrespect their husband. In this article you will learn how to make a wife respect her husband .
How to make a wife respect her husband
If you notice that your spouse has stopped respecting you, you should start following some guidelines to remedy the situation.
Be confident and calm.
A man should be confident. Learn to speak confidently about your decisions, and behave calmly during conflicts. Women are more emotional, and they can afford to vent their emotions, but you should not behave in the same way in return. Stay calm and confident.
Argue your opinion.
If you are just going to put his wife before the fact, without consulting her and not explaining anything, it will not lead to anything good. You have to be able to reason reason with your opinion or decision, and convince her that it is the right decision.
Don’t use force
Some men, when contemplating how to punish their wife, resort to the use of physical force. It’s not just about beating her, you shouldn’t even grab her by the arm, hold her against her will, push her and the like. You can’t use any kind of force against a woman.
Important: You will never get your wife’s respect by using physical force, it will have the opposite effect.
Don’t chase after her.
When a man completely dissolves in his spouse and is ready to fulfill her every whim, she ceases to respect him. You should always have an opinion and be able to say no if for some reason you can not or do not want to do something.
If you do not respect yourself, others will not respect you. Know how to stand up for your boundaries, don’t betray your own principles to please someone else. Don’t let people treat you disrespectfully.
Make important decisions
If you let your spouse take the role of the head of the family, it will be almost impossible to get respect. Take on the important decisions, show that you can solve problems, so your spouse feels like a stone wall.
How to teach your wife a lesson.
Over time, a woman begins to feel the boundaries of her man. She starts to get cheeky when she feels weakness of the man, so it is important to assert their boundaries. Psychologists recommend a special tactic, how to teach a wife for disrespectful attitude towards her husband.
First of all, you should always immediately tell your wife about what you did not like in her behavior. It is necessary to calmly explain and argue.
Tip: If your words pass your ears, it is worth to say that this behavior could lead to the end of your relationship.
If in your marriage, things have gone very far, and you are wondering how to put his wife in place for his disgusting attitude, you need to reduce its importance. Women are impudent and behave disgustingly in the case when she realizes that she means a lot to you and you will put up with everything so as not to lose her. You need to start denying her requests, less time to pay her, and focus more on yourself. You can also cause jealousy so that she starts to fear losing you.
How to Make Your Wife Jealous
If you never gave a reason to be jealous, gave a lot of time to your spouse, and did everything she wanted, she just stopped appreciating it. She has begun to think of herself as a queen, and has forgotten that she can lose you. To put your wife in her place, it is recommended to use the advice of psychologists, how to make your wife jealous and afraid of losing her husband.
By provoking jealousy in your spouse, you will be able to put her in her place. She will realize that she is not the only woman in the world and can lose you. This fear will make her change her attitude toward you. But, there is an important point. If your spouse no longer has any feelings for you, then provoking jealousy can push her to divorce. But, if feelings are there, it will help save the marriage.
It is important not to go overboard when trying to provoke jealousy. You don’t want to come home with lipstick marks. If your wife will think that you have already cheated on her, it will not add respect for you. The first thing to do with their appearance. Start exercising, change your image.
Important: Changes in appearance will make your wife look at you with fresh eyes and begin to fear the appearance of a competitor.
Start spending time actively without her, but, for example, with friends. Attend various establishments and events where women are present. You can also turn your attention to other women in the presence of his spouse. For example, look at a passing girl, or casually make a compliment. Any signs of attention to the other woman will not go unnoticed. It is also worth to casually mention that you made a compliment to a colleague at work. Then his wife will remember that you may be interesting and other women, and begin to appreciate you and be afraid to lose.
It is difficult to maintain love and respect in marriage, but it is necessary to know how to do it. Men often cannot find that fine line to gain their wife’s respect without ruining the relationship. Certainly, you need to consider your wife’s opinion, pay attention to her, and appreciate her, but you don’t have to always stick to the line lest you increase her importance to the point where she stops appreciating you.