How to get rid of resentment and anger, a few rules?

7 helpful tips to help you stop resenting the world

More and more often it seems that in today’s world, everyone and everyone is offended. And it’s understandable: it’s easy and partly even pleasant to be offended. However, it causes a lot of problems – for the person and for his relationship with people. Let’s look at how to get rid of this habit, and learn to live without it.

The pros and cons of resentment

Resentment is an important feeling that sometimes every person experiences, and this is quite normal. It can be considered a kind of protective reflex to aggression or unfairness of the world around. Too often, however, it is not a good idea to exploit this feeling. On the one hand, resentment helps a person to absolve himself of responsibility, for example, for his failures. But on the other hand, this same feeling prevents to take decisive action to achieve their goals – if the world is against you, then why even try to do something? Offense refers rather to the negative feelings, which means, wallowing in it, set up on an optimistic way will not work. But to get into a vicious circle of searching for guilt is very easy.

How to stop being offended?

Take a break .

Most often affected by resentment people who are in a particular moment experiencing not the best of times, and because they can hurt any little thing. By this state often leads to fatigue – as is known, overworked people are prone to be irritable, it infuriates everything and everyone. So the first step to get rid of resentment can be a simple vacation – give yourself a break, restore a comfortable way of life, and then the external factors will hurt and worry you a lot less.

Take care of yourself.

Another eternal source of resentment – low self-esteem. The less confident you are, the easier it is to knock you out: it seems that every joke, uttered nearby, is sure to appeal to you. And behind any failure probably lurks someone’s malice. What’s more, in such a state you can hurt even the occasional cashier in the store, unkindly looked at you. In general, work on their self-esteem, and resentment will quickly leave you.

Learn to forgive

And here is another useful skill that is important to master if you are seriously determined to stop being offended by the whole world. We must learn to forgive people – if only because a person is able to change, and therefore, to be mad at someone whole life makes no sense, it you do worse only to yourself. Experts will confirm that the ability to forgive an offense – an important step in working on the psychological trauma of his past. By the way, this skill is developed not by speculative wishful thinking, but by concrete actions: you can remember the person at whom you are still angry, and write to him to sort out your feelings, and forgive him.

Acknowledge the other’s right to a different opinion

Often people are offended by their interlocutor during a heated discussion – which is not surprising, because real disputes are caused by a conflict of different worldviews. However, to be offended at a person for the fact that his opinion differs from yours, it is counterproductive: it does not change it, and you only get upset for nothing. So try to accept the fact that the views – even of the closest people – to the same things can be different. And this is also perfectly normal.

Don’t keep quiet: discuss problematic situations

One more important rule for those who want to avoid unnecessary resentment toward their loved ones. Often we like to think up other people’s thoughts for them, and, moreover, to be offended by those thoughts. First of all, do not take on such responsibility – another’s soul is a dark secret. And secondly, so as not to be offended by the non-existent (but assumed) thoughts of his friend, just talk to him more. If you are confused about something, or if you feel that you were intentionally struck by a word, talk to your loved one about the situation. Find out if this is the case in reality, whether he really meant to hurt you or not. It is likely that a person hurt your feelings by saying the words completely accidentally, or maybe he put them in a different sense that you caught.

See the offense from the future.

A good way to get rid of the momentary hurts – look at the situation from the future. Fast forward a few years, and consider whether the current situation is worth the effort and energy to feel resentment. Chances are, you’ll find out that it’s not. This will not only help you save time, but also to preserve the relationship with people who may have inadvertently offended you. It will also teach you to forgive others for their minor mistakes and transgressions.

Think about what you can learn from an unpleasant situation?

Finally, do not forget that in any situation you can draw several conclusions. Of course, if you showed an unmotivated aggression, or deliberately wanted to hurt, hurt – a normal reaction. However, think about what you could learn from the situation. Maybe you should reconsider your communication with people, and learn to build personal boundaries more competently, or maybe you should find a new job (if it is a professional conflict), etc. Try to channel their energy not into resentment, and in a more constructive direction, then you will have no time to get angry and resent in vain.

Techniques for dealing with anger, aggression and anger

Aggressiveness inherent in our very nature and every time we suppress it, we direct the force against himself. The accumulated energy of anger and spite destroys us from the inside, causing illness, fatigue and depression. Is it worth it to bring it to this? How to get rid of accumulated resentment and negative emotions?

Give free rein to your feelings.

Outbursts of anger and rage are the body’s defense mechanism, when our internal fuses are triggered. Thus, we get rid of the overwhelming emotions and feelings. But not everyone is able to do this because of their beliefs: some people think that it is bad to express anger openly, others believe that they show their weakness that way.

But our strength is in admitting our weaknesses. That’s why it’s important to allow ourselves to be angry and to feel anger. You don’t forbid yourself to laugh, do you? And joy is just as natural an emotion as anger, only without your inner limitations. Get rid of the beliefs that inhibit the expression of your true nature and free yourself from accumulated emotions without judging yourself.

If you need to express your emotions on a physical level, do so (naturally, without harming yourself or others). Take a pillow and start boxing on it, write a hate letter and burn it, lock yourself in the car and shout at the top of your voice.

Don’t push it to the limit.

The best way to deal with anger is to tell the person who made you angry. Just say, “You know, I don’t like it when you do that or when you talk to me…” or “I’m angry at you because…”. Of course, it’s not always justified to say everything to your face. You can address your abuser through a mirror. Play the situation that made you angry, and, picturing in the mirror the one who hurt you, say everything that you think about him/her. After your anger wears off, try to sincerely understand and forgive him or her. Forgiveness will help you get rid of all anger and aggression.

Keep a journal

Have you ever noticed that we often get angry in similar situations? Start a journal and write down everything that caused your anger. Describe what made you angry and how it made you feel. The world around us works like a big mirror, reflecting what’s going on inside us. It is also not uncommon for us to provoke certain behaviors in people toward us.

Is there something coming from you that causes others to want to annoy you? Consider whether the person who disgusts you reflects what is in you. Perhaps he or she is doing something that you do not allow yourself to do. Evaluating what is happening will help you find the cause of your anger and change your own beliefs.

Learn to pause.

Uncontrollable outbursts of irritation and anger can hurt you badly, ruining your career or personal life. The price for a moment of weakness is unreasonably high. Therefore, it is important to learn to cope with the gripping you resentment or anger.

The easiest way to cope with yourself is to take a deep breath and count to ten. If possible, go for a walk. Movement will help you cope with the adrenaline rush.

When you feel that you can hardly restrain yourself from saying too much, mentally fill your mouth with water. Let the plot of a fairy tale about the incantation water help you in this.

Once upon a time, there lived an old man and an old woman. Not a day went by that they didn’t quarrel. And though they were both tired of quarreling, they just couldn’t stop. One day a witch doctor came into their house and gave them a bucket of enchanted water: “If they quarrel again, take a mouthful of this water, and the quarrel will be over. She only went out the door when the old woman began to quarrel with the old man. He filled his mouth with water and kept quiet. Now what is the old woman to do, shake the air by herself? – It takes two to fight! That’s how they got used to swearing.

Get rid of accumulated aggression.

The following techniques, borrowed from the Taoist teachings of Shou Tao, will help you get rid of anger, anxiety and internal blocks.

Buddha Smile

The Buddha Smile exercise will allow you to easily come to a state of mental equilibrium. Calm down and try not to think about anything. Completely relax your facial muscles and imagine how they are filled with heaviness and warmth, and then, having lost their elasticity, as if they “flow” down in a pleasant languor. Concentrate on the corners of your lips.

Imagine as your lips begin to slightly part to the sides, forming a slight smile. Do not apply muscular effort. You’ll feel your lips stretch into a faint smile, and a feeling of incipient joy will appear in your whole body. Try to do this exercise every day until the state of the “Buddha smile” becomes habitual for you.

Step forward – beast, step backward – man

This exercise is especially useful for shy people who are ashamed of their anger and are ashamed of displaying it. Step forward with wild rage and feel the willingness to smash everything in your path. Then step back, doing the “Buddha smile” and returning to a state of absolute calm.

Step forward again, transforming into a furious beast, and step back, returning to a human state. When stepping forward, reinforce your rage with shouts, you can swear or forcefully clench your jaw. When stepping back, it is very important to catch the moment of relaxation, paying attention to the muscles.

This exercise is emotionally demanding. Stop as soon as you feel tired. By doing it regularly, you’ll find that your steps will get faster and faster, and you’ll learn to move easily from rage to complete calm.

Remember: these techniques and exercises will help to temporarily reduce aggression and get rid of anger, but will not eliminate the original cause of their occurrence. Talk to a professional for expert help. Take care of yourself!

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