How to get over an ex boyfriend if you still love him?

How to forget the guy that you love and live a new life: the best tips for girls

When relationships collapse, you do not want to savor them, there is no pleasant nostalgic longing for what is now in the past. Want to get as soon as possible to live a new life. To distance oneself from the pain one has to live with, to forget them with all their mistakes and pleasant moments. Scientists have not yet invented a pill to selectively remove memories. But psychologists already know how to forget someone you strongly love, how long it takes to begin to forget a man who left, and what to do if you can’t forget a guy you broke up with. We share this information with you.

Tips for girls: how to forget the man you love

After a breakup you want to take away the pain in any way, quickly forget your loved one and stop thinking about him. And better – as soon as possible to get rid of all feelings for the departed person, once and for all, so that with less losses to get out of the situation in which you find yourself. Unfortunately or fortunately, it is impossible to easily forget your ex and start a new life. And the best healer for a broken heart is still time.

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At times like this, you are not the mistress of your brain. Despite a passionate desire not to think about the man at all, events have developed so that he is the only thing you will mainly think about. This is unpleasant and painful, but you will have to put up with it, if your main goal is to cross out of life a man who does not love you. There are still ways to make a man fall in love, but they are not easy at all.

Time, patience and gentleness to yourself are the three main tools you will need during this period. You will have to allow and forgive yourself in advance and a bad mood, and breakdowns, and sobs, and pounds of ice cream – everything that your body decides to do during the stress. Believe me, it’s cheaper to let it all in the long run than it is to not let it.

The first thing you need to do is prepare yourself for what is going to be hard, and decide not to berate yourself for anything that happens until the “hard” is over. So if you want to walk away from the relationship so that this person can never step on a sore spot, hurt or cause a storm of feelings again – stock up on patience, to yourself and read on.

Is it possible to forget the ex.

Will the person and everything connected with him ever disappear from your memory? Completely – no, of course. Memories will fade over time, but the fact of the relationship with the person and the main impression from them will definitely stay with you. With them, there will be a certain set of memories and emotions devoted to that period in your life and, perhaps, some kind of attitude to it all, still alive.

This is what it will look like a few years later if you go through the breakup correctly. If not, the memories of the person and what happened between you will hurt you for many, many years to come. There will be unlived emotions left behind: when you come into contact with your ex, you won’t care. It won’t be easy for you to remember that you were once together and then split up. You may become angry, frightened, want revenge, want to show superiority – all of which will indicate that you did not live the breakup fully. No matter how much time has passed since then.

You are unlikely to ever thoroughly forget that relationship, if it was important to you, if you were in love. But you have the power to make the memories of them in any way touch you, or even cause that very pleasant nostalgia for the old days. This nostalgia will not necessarily be addressed to your partner: it can be about how you yourself felt in that relationship. Maybe it was easy for you, or you didn’t love anyone else as much, or maybe you found exactly what you desperately needed in that relationship at the time. Then you feel nostalgic, but you don’t miss your partner. And that’s perfectly normal.

The facts will forever or almost forever remain in your memory. You won’t get to the point where you see the person on the street and you don’t recognize them, you won’t remember them. You won’t forget the relationship itself. It’s just that the memories of them will become dimmer and stop hurting you – and that’s a great result.

Methods to help you forget him.

So, you’ve broken up, but you’re not ready to jump headlong into grief. Try to fend him off is normal, and you should not forbid yourself a breath of fresh air – you have enough melancholy as it is. Try to find a point of balance : do not forget about your pain, give it space, but also distract yourself from it from time to time.

Let’s talk in detail about the eight main ways to distract yourself and put the guy you love out of your mind:

  • A new hobby. Do something you’ve been meaning to try for a long time. The more hours a week you can give to it, the more exciting it will be in the process, the better. Sports are ideal: the body will benefit from the hormones that are produced during physical activity, and the concentration on the body and the precise execution of the movements perfectly helps to distract from sad thoughts. In addition, after the workout you will have a little less desire to kill it. Because of hormones and fatigue.
  • Write letters. You can’t take your mind off the person – write everything that you think about him. It is important to do it by hand and on paper. The fate of the letter is not so important: you can keep it, you can burn it, you can tear it up. The important thing is to keep it out of your ex’s hands. You are writing not for him but for yourself, remember that from the very beginning. Writing about the pain in a letter, you will feel that it bothers you less.
  • Ask your friends for support. They will understand and are sure to take care of you. Get out to meetings and hang out, do something together. Stay in company: The dynamics of company can be a great distraction from everything else.
  • Make plans for the days you’ve traditionally spent together. Fill them with something pleasant, but different from the relationship and associations with them. Desires that you’ve wanted to do for a long time and things that your relationship has been getting in the way of are great. Do it and enjoy the fact that you can get back to them.
  • Go to a psychologist. You may only need a few meetings, but the therapist will help you not get lost in negative experiences, get through them as fully as possible and come out a healthy, whole person. A therapist will accept everything that happens to you, unlike most friends. And will help you find a way to deal with your experiences in a way that doesn’t crush them and still survive. He is trained in these things and knows more about them, and that makes him and that kind of help especially valuable.
  • Be more patient and loyal to yourself. Cry if you feel like it. Eat lots of sweets if you feel like it. Do not deny anything that is happening to you. Try to listen to yourself and provide the maximum comfort, the maximum self-care that is possible. You have enough stress as it is.
  • Don’t be shy about presenting your feelings. Chances are you will want to talk to your ex. And probably not even once. Do not forbid yourself this: sometimes it is through contact with reality that you need to crush your expectations. Hope that he will want to return, missed, so angry that you can not keep quiet? Offer to see him and say what you have accumulated. See how you react, some of your illusions will crumble. After one or more meetings you’ll come to terms with the status quo, you’ll notice that this interaction is not good for you, you’ll realize that you are worth more to yourself than these feelings. And letting go of the situation will become easier.
  • Choose the best dating site, the most interesting for you and spend your time with benefit and pleasure.

These are the main tips for forgetting and letting go of a young man who doesn’t care about you. But there are additional tips that will make it easier to forget the guy you loved and no longer need.

  • Get deep into your work: anger and resentment can easily be transformed into energy for hard work.
  • Take a trip – at least for a weekend.
  • Avoid places you used to love as a couple.
  • Set aside hours for concentrated sadness and other emotions.
  • Get rid of things that remind you of the relationship.
  • Say goodbye to the person in the way you want and after which you feel better.
  • Join a interest group.
  • Share these experiences and the rest of the relationship – don’t get caught up in thinking that all men are the same.
  • Try not to think about what’s going on with him or what he’s thinking.
  • Don’t look for guilt.

What to do if you still love.

First and foremost – treat your feelings with care and do not bury them along with the relationship. For some reason, it is often not possible to fall out of love and leave the man to whom you have become attached. Do not sound the alarm too early: love will fade, but do not force the process.

A love that is not mutual now will have to be reconciled with reality. It will last for some time – you can never know in advance how long. If you meet periodically with your ex out of undying love and make sure it’s not going to be the same, it may fade a little faster, but you’ll get more pain.

Don’t put her anywhere: let her live. You can still give it space – in fantasies and on paper. Your love is not to blame for the breakup, so do not seek to destroy it, and give time to fade away on their own.

There is a unique opportunity for you to talk to a professional psychologist for free for 20 minutes. Just go to the site and leave an application for a psychologist. A specialist will write to you within 2 minutes in the specified messenger.

What to do if feelings have cooled down, but he still does not come out of his head

One of two things: either not much time has passed, or feelings have not cooled down after all. Try to figure it out: do you want the relationship back? If yes, then you haven’t lived through the breakup yet, and it’s okay to think about the person. If not, maybe you have something to say. There’s some unfinished business left, and it needs to be dealt with. Visit our dating rating and start a new life.

If you wonder why you can’t get over a guy you used to like – be careful about the context in which he pops up in your thoughts. Find the reason why you’re thinking about him, and deal with that reason. Give yourself some more time, meet with him, write and ask about what’s bothering you – just resolve the situation.

How to get over an ex-boyfriend

Contributor(s): Amy Chan. Amy Chan is the founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a recovery camp that practices a scientific and spiritual approach to healing after relationships end. Her team of psychologists and coaches have helped hundreds of people in just 2 years, and the camp has been featured by CNN, Vogue, The New York Times and Fortune. Her debut book, Breakup Bootcamp, will be published by HarperCollins in January 2020.

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>If weeks, months or even years after breaking up with a guy all you can think about are the happy moments you spent with him or dream of being in his arms again, it means it’s time to get serious about yourself, get over your ex and start enjoying life again. If you want to get over your boyfriend, you need to cut all ties with him, start living your own life and stop comparing new men to your former lover. Do you want to know how to do this? Just follow the steps below.

  • It’s okay to get a little bit sad and hurt. Don’t try to hide how much you are hurting.
  • If you want to be alone, ask family and friends to leave you alone for a while. But do not be alone for a long time, otherwise you run the risk of wallowing in bad thoughts.

  • In the future, having recovered, you can gratefully remember these special moments, but not now.

  • No need to dwell on the negativity that was between you – just remember the unpleasant moments every time you catch yourself having tender feelings towards your ex.

  • Stopping regretting what’s gone is an important step toward getting over your ex. If you dwell on what could have been or what you would have done better, you get bogged down in the past and can’t think about the future.

  • A list of qualities you like about yourself will also help you become more confident, which is exactly what you need when going through a breakup.

  • Every time you catch yourself having a negative thought, try to counter it with two positive ones.
  • Spending time with positive people will also help you feel more awake. Look for those who help you to be content with life and yourself.
  • Make a list of all the things you’re grateful for in life and it will stop seeming so bleak.

  • Yes, it hurts to realize that you are losing all you have left of it, but you need to realize that you are doing the right thing. Doing this will give you a sense of accomplishment – and that will be the first step toward healing.
  • If you really want to keep the memory of this relationship so that someday you can return to it mentally, put things in a box and get out of sight – for example, put it in the pantry or take it to a friend. Just avoid at all costs the temptation to open it.

What’s the best way to get over your ex?

Relationship Coach.

Amy Chan is the founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a recovery camp that practices a scientific and spiritual approach to healing after relationships end. Her team of psychologists and coaches have helped hundreds of people in just 2 years, and the camp has been featured by CNN, Vogue, The New York Times and Fortune. Her debut book, Breakup Bootcamp, will be published by HarperCollins in January 2020.

Amy Chan, founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, answers, “The best thing you can do is get rid of all the things that remind you of your former partner . If that’s too overwhelming a task at first, put them in a box and ask a friend if you can keep it at his place.”

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