How to get an ex-boyfriend back after a long breakup?

How to get your ex-boyfriend back

How do you get your ex-boyfriend back? When a relationship ends, it happens that a girl begins to look for ways to get her ex-boyfriend back. It does not matter who initiated the breakup for the desire to resume the relationship. When the guy leaves, but the love remains, the desire to return everything is understandable, but when a girl decides to stop the relationship, and then return also has its explanations. Perhaps the breakup was made in the heat of the moment, perhaps after a pause in communication she reevaluated her partner, or maybe she just could not find someone better.

Guys in many situations are ready to resume the relationship, especially if they appreciated and noticed the important things during the pause, so you should not despair and think that this event is useless. But before going back to what ended it is necessary to thoroughly deal with the events that contributed to the breakup, so that they do not happen again. It is useless to believe that the problem will disappear by itself. It is necessary to soberly assess their readiness to put up with these factors that did not suit before. If the disagreements were based on the constant absence of a partner, then after the resumption of relations, the person will not suddenly become a homebody, and the conflicts will repeat. Getting back together is possible if you are willing to put up with the shortcomings of your partner or change your own behavior regarding his demands, if he was the initiator of the breakup.

With any conflicts, especially those that led to the end of the relationship, both parties are guilty, so constantly blaming the guy that the relationship collapsed won’t help you in resuming it. It’s unlikely that anyone will want to bear all the responsibility on their own, and be constantly at fault. The optimal way out would be to look for your own mistakes, finding ways to solve them, honestly admit it in front of the young man and only then voice your own dissatisfaction about his behavior. It is necessary to offer solutions to existing difficulties, to tell what you can do personally to stabilize the relationship.

Look for your own reasons for wanting to return to the relationship. If this desire is dictated by the fact that you are bored, no one else is not paying attention, it is hardly worth starting all over again. This kind of motivation leads exclusively to the construction of manipulative and artificial relationships that can not be full-fledged. If a guy left for an ex, how to get him back should not become the main thought. Chances are, the past relationship wasn’t over, or it’s just a tendency of his behavior to keep going back to past relationships. It may even be quite easy for you to attract him back, but the likelihood that he will also leave you for other exes is extremely high.

You can only rekindle a relationship if you feel love and want a serious relationship. You need to take a break to finally sort out your feelings. Missing your exes is a normal reaction, even if the breakup was like a measured and considered act. Once you notice that feelings have dulled after a week, leave the person alone.

It can also help to allow feelings to subside and for everyone to sort out his or her own desires. Getting together and discussing things after a noticeable break in communication can be very helpful and serve to start a new phase. A pause does not mean total avoidance if you are connected by studies and work, general business and friends. It means an end to the relationship, phone calls and intimate interactions. If the guy himself begins to take the initiative, then ask him to wait for a pause, be sure to give a deadline and let him know that you care about him.

During the break, work on your own self-esteem, deal with any conditions of possible anxiety or depression. The guy definitely will not want to become a life preserver for you and return to a difficult relationship.

How to get your ex-boyfriend back – tips from the guys

Girls are often mistaken in their opinion about men’s needs, assessing them by themselves, so recommendations on how to get an ex-boyfriend back can be given just by men. They know very well what not to do, and what can attract interest. Many guys can allow the thought of returning, but lose that desire if the girl literally besieges him. The man himself is the initiator and invader, he is intimidated by the girl’s persistent actions.

Guys appreciate girls with dignity, so you can not run after them, beg forgiveness, humiliate yourself and promise to fulfill any whim. He does not need a slave, but a beautiful, confident, dignified and intriguing girl by his side, which is what you should strive to become.

When emotions prevail, many girls do quite strange things that can lead to the blocking of her contacts. The most negative behaviors from men’s perspective are threats and blackmail. Threats usually include insulting and humiliating the guy himself, and predicting a terrible future without the girl in question. No one likes to be insulted or treated like property. Guys firmly cut off communication after such manifestations, and it does not matter if the insulting text sounded in person to the eyes or it was a common acquaintance.

Blackmail usually comes down to promises to do something to yourself (poison yourself, throw yourself in front of a car, start drinking, etc.). In this situation, it makes no sense to clarify the relationship, but there is a question of the girl’s mental state and her reliability. Being the cause of someone’s death is quite frightening, and such threats can be binding on the arms and legs. A relationship on this blackmail is impossible, love dies there, even if it was. If the man does not immediately shut off any access to himself and decide to stay, then all his thoughts will be busy preparing a situation where the girl’s safety will be ensured by other people, having achieved that, he will definitely leave.

Also, guys do not advise to resort to pity, to tell how bad things have become without him and constantly ask for help. Men appreciate women’s emotions, and positive ones at that, and if he causes them, then everything is fine. It’s best to leave the guy alone and take care of yourself.

Most young men admitted that if an ex-girlfriend does not show up herself, then literally in the first week after the breakup they become interested in her life and they start to take an interest in her by following her pages on social networks or asking acquaintances. There is no need to hang up information every day about how good you are, the guy may think that you are very happy to be rid of him, but periodically add new information is necessary. This way he will see that new things have started to happen in your life, it ignites interest. You can even sustain quite a long pause, about a month, to appear in a changed image and with new achievements and projects.

So how do you get your ex-boyfriend back? The girl should continue to be interesting for other guys, then the ex-boyfriend will begin to reconsider the situation. When no one is interested in you, the man is convinced of the rightness of the breakup and his attention goes away. If there is a group of admirers around you after he left, it helps to see your best side. The possessive instinct in guys is very strong, so he considers his ex-girlfriend for a long time and jealousy in this case may help to return the relationship. But it is important to know how to respect the boundary, because when a girl kisses everyone on every corner, only convinces in the correctness of the parting. It is necessary to make sure that you are surrounded by beautiful courtship and care, so that guys feel the competition for your attention. Besides the fact that it will attract the interest of the ex, it will raise your self-esteem, and perhaps among the new suitors will really be your man.

If you often cross paths or have common places, then take care of your good mood. When guys see cheerful girls, they want to be a part of it, when an ex sees your smile, he involuntarily recalls all the beautiful moments. Just build your life really in a way that brings happiness, because fake fun guys feel and it is rather repulsive. Also, mutual acquaintances are very likely to tell him about you. And if all his friends will tell him that you sit at home and walk around sad, and you will see you in your mutual club every week and laughing infectiously, it will lead to doubt and mistrust.

When you meet, stay warm and easy, you can be honest about how glad you are to see him and that you missed him, but don’t impose, go on to your friends. Being friendly shows guys that they are welcome. If he’s afraid to approach, feels guilty, or you’ve made so many claims about him that he’s unaware of your warm feelings, help him make the first move, but don’t do things for him, let the guy have his choice – this is also an important point in communication.

If there are a lot of recriminations from the guy, and after analyzing his dissatisfaction, you agree to change some of your personality traits and habits, then you should start now. In the occasional and random communication you can demonstrate that you are changing for the better. If he criticized you for being late, then come early, expressed dissatisfaction with your figure – post pictures from the fitness center. But be careful, do not reshape yourself completely to his demands, the guy may not come back after that, and you will waste your time and energy. So first you need to adequately assess his criticism, mentally thank him for the lessons and fix what you yourself would consider a good change.

Guys appreciate sincerity, so when the main emotions have subsided, it makes sense to openly discuss the relationship, apologizing for your own mistakes by listing them, not by using the phrase “sorry for everything. It is the detailing that will give him an understanding of the value of the relationship in your eyes and that you are really willing to work on it. Spell out your feelings for him and your desire to renew the relationship.

How to get your ex-boyfriend back if he has a girlfriend

Getting a guy back in a situation where he has already built a new intimate relationship is a difficult and often futile task. When a man has had time to build a new relationship, it means that either you took a long time to get back, or he didn’t really appreciate you if he found a replacement within a short period of time. Separately, if the guy left for his ex, how to get him back becomes the number one task, but here the feeling of revenge, possessiveness and injustice is more likely to play. It is possible to return a man only if you have made a mistake, then you realized it and want a long-term serious relationship. If the guy himself has done a lot of unforgivable things and does not regret, then, no matter how strong the love is, it is better to leave him alone. When the guy is with someone else, approach the process of resuming a previous relationship with particular seriousness and responsibility, as you will destroy someone else’s relationship, but that you will be able to rebuild a happy one – this is not a fact.

Think back, remember when there was a desire to return. If this is due to the appearance of the young man a new girl, and before that you have almost forgotten about him, it is better to give up the idea. Jealousy, even if it is an ex, is quite a strong feeling, which can be confused with love, but it is only a desire to be the best. Satisfy that need in other ways. Only a clear understanding that together you will be better than apart deserves any steps towards you.

So, how to get back the ex-boyfriend, if he has another? First, it is worth putting yourself in order, because you do not just need to get the attention of your ex, but also to win the competition from his new girlfriend. She has an advantage – the novelty and mystique, you – knowing your partner and having feelings and shared memories. Do not rush into their relationship with all the pressure, you need stamina, tactics, patience, sabotage skills. The more you fear that while you tolerate, their relationship will be strengthened, the more rash things you can do. If you’ve already decided to take on such a major undertaking, be prepared for a long struggle.

Do not avoid the general meetings, on the contrary, you may start to stroll in common areas, try to look nice while doing so. The purpose of these meetings is not to communicate and fight openly, but to show off and give the guy a chance to compare you. To do this, do not walk alone, but rather gather a cheerful company of pleasant people with whom you can have fun and have fun at your own pleasure. No matter how romantic a relationship is, guys prefer fun, jokes, and simple relaxation to going to theaters and demanding to conform to a serious-loving tone.

You can write to the new girl, but not on your own behalf and not threats – such messages will make the guy take her side and add you to the blacklist. You can write a letter from an anonymous well-wisher, where you should describe the girl boyfriend in all the negative details, you can even embellish the situation by inventing many bad situations in which the guy wasn’t really involved. The most primitive ones will make him quit, and the rest who decide to stay will create a lot of doubts that will spoil their relationship. The main thing is to not find out in any way that you are the author of the letter.

Wait, leave them alone, don’t show up in any way, preferably disappear for a few months. Usually it is during this period of love euphoria subsides, and the first conflicts appear. It is at this time that you should appear, when the relationship itself becomes unstable. All this time you are engaged in self-improvement, not only externally, so that you can impress him with your appearance, but also internally, so that your world becomes interesting to the guy, so that conversation with you beckons him to beautiful places, away from those claims that began to arise with the new girl.

From that point on, you start showing up in common places again, acting fun and casual. Your task is to act like a friend, which will allow you to gradually get closer to the guy. Lack of obsession, as a girl, but a warm human involvement will spark his interest. At a minimum, he will want to check if your feelings for him are really quite faded – do not give up right away, keep the line. You can take an interest in his affairs, tell him in passing about interesting events, offering to stop by, and then leave and go on with your business.

It may turn out that the guy really only perceives you as a friend now. And may even begin to advise on how to maintain a real relationship. Do not give bad advice, better completely silent, and if you see that he is not going to leave her, soberly assess your ability to be friends with him. It is not always possible to get a person back, and it is better to put a deadline after which you stop all attempts.

How to get back to your relationship with your ex-boyfriend if he does not want to

It is quite easy to get back into a relationship after a breakup, when regrets about what happened overtake both of them, but this rarely happens. The choice of action depends on the girl and the situation between the partners. Sometimes it is more logical to let go and live through the breakup on your own, but you can also try to change the situation.

If the guy says that he does not want to continue the affair, it is not necessary to send messages, annoying phone calls. Moreover, there is no need to arrange random meetings in common areas, most often he can see that the situation is staged. It is better to distance yourself as much as possible for a long time and do not remind about yourself in any way. Natural mental mechanisms are arranged so that after a couple of months, everyone thinks about resuming the relationship, because a new life requires adaptation and is clearly less comfortable than the usual one. That’s enough time to forget all the bad events and wallow in nostalgia for the good ones. A guy’s interest won’t necessarily manifest itself with a phone call or a meeting, but a guy who doesn’t want to see you will begin to take an interest in you from friends or just listen intently to memories of you, he may also monitor your social networking page. Don’t close access, update information, stay interesting.

While you’re laying low, analyze how much and in what ways you’ve changed during the relationship. If the guy once chose you as his mate, there must be a good reason for the breakup.

Maybe you used to be a talkative humorist, and now you are silent and perpetually disgruntled, or maybe when you were dating, you were always traveling, and now you can not get out of the house. Revisit your photos, appearance is very important to guys. When a girl starts ignoring her appearance, guys can take it as a personal insult. Having analyzed the inner and outer image you need to try to become the one he fell in love with. Naturally, when the meeting took place five years ago, to get into the same miniskirt would be ridiculous and stupid, but return the bright clothes and neat hairstyle. If the place of the fun company you took the job, then objectively assess how important to you is this position.

It may happen that the value of your life and self-perception, as well as the changes that occurred will exceed the value of the relationship, perhaps the state in which you are at the moment, most fully reflects your true personality. Then you need to think about the feasibility of changing yourself for the sake of someone who doesn’t want to be with you. It may be better to look for someone who falls in love with the real you.

Return the relationship with your ex can help by showing up at his place in a couple of months, asking about his affairs, but no more. Against the background of nostalgia your appearance helps him switch back to you. The main thing is not to overdo it, go on with their lives, occasionally you can appear in general company or invite him to a large event (but not a private party).

Use jealousy, let him see that other guys are interested in you. Perhaps his interest in you is gone because you are completely submissive to him, and the man is a conqueror. A woman who was able to convince her partner that men aren’t interested in her and she herself isn’t going anywhere becomes automatically uninterested. There is no one to compete with, nothing to achieve, and the value is increasingly determined by external demand, so create it.

Be prepared that if the breakup happened and you have not reconciled within a week with mutual desire, then any scheme to get the guy back may not work. It is worth respecting the person’s choice and not forcing the universe to obey your desires.

Author : Practical psychologist Vedmesh NA.

Speaker of the Medical-Psychological Center “PsychoMed”.

How to get a guy back after a breakup if he doesn’t even want to communicate? – Instruction

From this article you will learn: how to get a boyfriend back after a breakup if he doesn’t even want to communicate. I will share the only way that really works. The method is long, complicated, but effective. There is no magic pill. I want to warn you right away that I am not going to smooth the edges in this material.

My goal: to show you a full picture of what happened, without illusions and embellishments, the only way to get the desired result (to get your boyfriend back). I will also take apart the reasons that may have provoked a breakup of your relationship, and to answer another question: how to behave properly in a relationship with a guy.

How to get a boyfriend back after a breakup if he doesn’t even want to communicate – in simple terms

First, you need to figure out the reasons and understand why a guy is avoiding you.

There can be two (two) reasons: (Of course, there can be many more reasons, but the global ones are just two).

  1. Indifference He has completely lost interest (or didn’t have it to begin with). He may have switched to another girl who he’s more attracted to and doesn’t want to remember you – this is the most unwanted reason.
  2. Negative emotions There have been many conflicts in your relationship. His anger, resentment, anger at the limit and the source of negative emotions was your relationship. Therefore, the guy does not want to relive the negative experience again and avoids communication. This reason is better than the first one. Because it’s better to let the guy experience negativity towards you than indifference.

You need to understand this: the person is better off without you than with you. This is the most important point, from which we will build a further plan of action.

Why do you want to get the guy back, and not him you?

The answer is on the surface – the guy’s importance in the relationship was higher than yours. You need this communication more than he does, since the question “how to get the guy back” comes to mind. If it were the other way around, and your value to him was higher, then it would be the guy who was making attempts to get your relationship back.

Now we ask ourselves the next question: does the guy need it to get him back?

The answer is no, he doesn’t need it since he’s avoiding communication.

And this conclusion leads me to the following thought: “You made a mistake somewhere, and not just one, in communicating with your boyfriend” (What these mistakes could be will be written below). Accordingly, if you try to return to the relationship right now, the whole chain of previous events will repeat itself. And the guy won’t be interested.

What is the way out of this situation?

To get your ex-boyfriend back we need two ingredients: Change and Time Change + Time = a chance to get your ex-boyfriend back

1. change.

By “change” I mean your personal transformation. You have to change as a person, become cooler than you were in the relationship. A huge part of this transformation will be learning how to behave properly with a man.

You have to learn how to behave effectively with a man so you don’t mess up and step on the same rake in the future. When you get your relationship back, your pattern of behavior should be drastically different from the past. Study any information you come across on the subject of relationships. Read books, watch youtube, a lot of valuable knowledge can be found for free. It will only take you time to learn it all.

Besides the skills to communicate effectively with a guy, you have to have something else. Your value in the eyes of society and other men should grow many times over. So that not only your ex-boyfriend wants to come back to you, but all the men around you will be fascinated by you.

Start to develop in any direction and get better in it every day, to form new friendships and goals. Your life should be full and interesting, whether you have a boyfriend or not. With this approach, you’ll start attracting a lot of great guys into your life.

2. Time

The second thing is timing. After you’ve changed, become cooler as a person, mastered the skills and rules of effective communication with a man, only then do you start to act. You go and get acquainted with the guy from scratch, as if he were a complete stranger. And you start to build a relationship with him from scratch. There shouldn’t be any reverberations from the past – this is important!

Only under this scenario is possible to return the ex-boyfriend, other effective strategies do not exist!

Personal advice: If you ask my personal advice, I’ll tell you, “Don’t get your ex-boyfriend back” Never get your ex-boyfriend back, it usually rarely ends well. It’s better to keep your focus on the future (with a new person) rather than digging into the past where you had a negative experience.

Now we’re going to talk about the mistakes you may have made in your relationship with a guy.

Reasons for your breakup with a guy – TOP 4

We’re not going to look at a situation where you initiated the breakup and regret it afterwards. We are going to look at the scenario where it was the guy who took the initiative to break up your relationship.

Let me remind you that there are two (2) reasons why a guy doesn’t even want to communicate:

  1. Indifference;
  2. Negative emotions;

Let us analyze each reason and error separately.


If the guy was indifferent to you, it indicates that your relationship was out of balance with your values. That is, you were more invested in the relationship than he was.

Many people mistakenly believe that the more they give to their partner, the more he will love and appreciate. They get invested and invested, but in reality they get a shish. All because when you start to invest, it’s in your eyes that the value of the guy grows, not in his. And there is an imbalance, because he does not give you anything in return, but only consumes.

Remember the following rule: We do not invest in a man more than he invests in us. This is the only way to build a quality relationship when everything is mutual and in balance.

The guy does something nice for you, and you do something nice for him in return. The guy is willing to do anything for you, and you are willing to do anything for him (but this process happens gradually). There shouldn’t be any imbalance – it will kill your relationship or make it toxic.

If you see that a guy doesn’t want to invest in you and you’re giving him your whole self, just stop and take a step back. Further actions you take will just make the situation worse.

And it’s best to initially build a relationship where you’ll be invested in you and take the first action, and you’ll reciprocate (if you want to). Trust me, it’ll be a lot easier that way.

You were more invested in the relationship – that’s the first mistake you could have made.

2. Negative emotions.

Now let’s move on to the second possible reason for your breakup, when a guy is experiencing negative emotions around you.

If your relationship fell apart because you were harboring negative emotions towards each other, then there were a number of mistakes on your part here. I will now tell you which ones.

When a man is in love, he perceives the girl as part of himself (you can read more about this here).

That is, the girl he loves is not some extraneous object, but precisely as a part of his body (eg hand), without which the guy can not live. And now let’s imagine that his own arm starts to harm him, it’s out of his control. And that’s when the guy will begin to perceive the hand not as a part of himself, but as an enemy that is harming him.

Interesting fact! There is such a disease – Alien Hand Syndrome. It is a rare disease in which a person cannot control the actions of his limbs. If you are interested in reading about this syndrome, follow this link

So that’s why I wrote about this syndrome. The point is that when you begin to behave improperly with a man, he does not perceive you as a part of himself. You become a foreign object to him, which you have to get rid of or destroy. A girl who is constantly dripping on his brain is like a stranger’s syndrome that you want to cure and forget about.

What actions of yours may have alienated the guy:

1. you demanded something from him (declarations of love, gifts, attention, etc.)

You can’t demand or ask for anything, everything has to be done in a subtle way. You have to create the conditions in which he himself will be the initiator of active actions towards you.

For a better understanding of the issue, I recommend reading the article: How to get a man to run after you

You may have neglected the guy for your own interests

In one of my articles I wrote that you have to put your own interests first. But! This does not apply when you are in a serious relationship. Put your own interests first, but during the dating and flirting phase. Being in a relationship, a man will appreciate a girl who is always there for him and his interests. At the same time, the girl of course does not forget about her own interests, and ideally her interests are always taken into account and protected by the guy.

Life story: I started a relationship with a girl, she was cool and everything, but there was a but! She always put her interests above mine. At first I even liked it, they say strong and independent. But then it started to bother me, because I did not feel the payoff. We talked to her and she said the following: “I will always put my interests above, I’m more comfortable to live that way. And let everyone else adjust, they need it more.”

And I was cut off from her. I realized that I wasn’t ready to see a girl like that around me. Of course, you could make her fall in love. A girl in love would put the interests of her beloved above everything else, but it was a dead end. Since her basic beliefs are very difficult to change, it would take several years. And being in love would only change her behavior temporarily. That is why I fenced myself off from unnecessary pain right away.

Conclusion: only devoted girls can build a great relationship with a man. It is necessary to balance interests, not allowing a bias in any direction.

3. frequent quarrels

You and your boyfriend could be banal incompatibility of character. There are fish that can not live with each other in the same tank. Either one will eat the other, or they will both eat each other. Simply because of biological incompatibility. It’s the same with people. There are people who just can’t be around each other for long periods of time, someone will eat someone. So if you’ve been having constant fights in your relationship, I urge you to think again, do you need to get the guy back?

4. he didn’t feel like a hero around you .

Remember! It’s not the man we fall in love with, it’s the emotions we experience around him.

It is vital for a man to feel like a hero around his woman. It is a woman is able to create such an aura in the relationship that a man is able to do anything.

One day I was walking around the city and I saw a couple arguing and using the last words against each other. She was going at him, accusing him of not being a man, and he was getting annoyed and insulting back. Both of them are to blame for the situation, the guy shouldn’t have let her talk to him like that. But now we are more interested in the girl’s mistakes. A girl like that, in principle, does not know how to communicate with men. Even when she meets a decent one, she will not be able to build a normal relationship.

How to behave in a relationship with a guy?

The male ego is both so big and fragile that it is very easy to hurt him. One wrong word – and the guy will never forgive you, even though the situation may seem insignificant to you. Never allow yourself to insult a guy’s personality, especially his qualities. This is unacceptable, otherwise your effectiveness in communicating with the stronger sex will be zero.

On the contrary, you have to act through praise and encouragement. Praise the right thing to do guy, encourage them, so he will be motivated to do something for you again and again.

  • Walked him home: “What a man you are, without you I’m afraid to come home late alone, thank you”.
  • Gave a gift: “How thoughtful and caring you are.”
  • Made decisions: “How determined you are, I feel protected by you”

Always praise a man for doing the right thing, then he will do it again and again.

Do not forget: For a girl to fall in love with a man, she must feel like a stone wall (at least) To a man to fall in love with a woman, he must feel like a superhero beside her.

But in addition to encouragement, there must also be punishment. If your value in the relationship was lower, there was probably a lot of encouragement and little punishment on your part.

For example, in response to his coldness, you may have been even more proactive and caring about him (and you should have responded with coldness in return). Or let’s say he did something wrong and you turned a blind eye. In short, you didn’t punish him when it was necessary, you encouraged him. Conversely, you could “punish” him when you needed to encourage him.

Note The word “punishment” in this article does not have a direct meaning. “Punishment” is your negative reaction to a guy’s misbehavior. (I call punishment: ignoring, expressing your displeasure in a quiet way, etc.)

But remember, praise should always take precedence over punishment. Praise should be brighter, more frequent and stronger. Then all will be well.


1. The man should feel near you a superhero; 2. praise him more often, but if he behaves incorrectly – punish him (cold, ignoring, etc.); 3. praise should always prevail over punishment; 4. do not demand anything from men, otherwise he will stop to perceive you as a part of himself. (Be more cunning and act subtle);


The article turned out to be quite lengthy, but now you know how to get a guy back after a breakup if he doesn’t even want to communicate. In this article, I did not smooth over the corners and did not try to be tactful. My goal was to show you the full picture, without illusions and embellishments. Now you also know about the reasons that may have provoked your breakup with your boyfriend.

In conclusion, I want to repeat once again: I don’t recommend you to get your ex-boyfriends back. Even if you succeed, the chance that this relationship will be healthy and harmonious is very small. These words confirm my personal experience and the experience of a huge number of people.

That’s it for me. If you found this article useful – share it on social networks. If you still have any questions – write them in the comments.

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