How to get a guy? Basic psychological techniques
How to get a guy softly and as naturally as possible? In addition to attracting appearance and personal qualities, to achieve the goal to help basic psychological techniques to interest and fall in love with a man. Directed as towards the desired object, and on themselves, hotly beloved.
To be, not to look …
How to get the attention and love of a guy who likes you? Through the appearance, because men love with their eyes (as opposed to women who love with their ears). Appearance does not have to be a magazine. Men like gorgeous women, but that does not mean you should look provocative, and sexuality should not be confused with vulgarity. Moreover, to achieve sex with a guy is not the same as to make him fall in love with you.
According to psychological studies, the sexes do not like compulsive initiative from the ladies. So, wondering how to get a man’s attention, remember that first arouse his interest, and then – the hunter. So it seems that the initiative to get closer came from him.
In order to achieve a man, you need to arouse his interest
What do guys like in a girl?
What to become in order to achieve not only attention but also love? How to get a guy interested? Of course, there is no limit to perfection, but this is what you should strive for:
- Pleases the eye healthy, well-groomed, neat girl, dressed with taste. And that means – in clothes that emphasize the advantages and modestly conceal the disadvantages. Makeup should be, but not the battle paint waiting for love natives. And, preferably, should not throw the eye, how much time, effort and money was spent to create the image. In appearance strive for harmony and naturalness. The development of aesthetic taste is important, it speaks of intelligence.
- By the way, an intelligent, well-read girl with a broad outlook, has a much better chance to reach the guy of his dreams, because a man can attract the most sexual organ – the brain. Clever woman will be able to choose from dozens of psychological techniques important and suitable methods in her case. Will support the conversation on different topics, will charm wit. Stupid girls prefer insecure or cynical men who want to use this stupidity. Although no one forbids the use of a guy’s desire to feel smarter.
- Positivity, a sense of humor, femininity, naturalness in behavior all guys like. Psychologists of the largest dating club in America, conducting a survey of clients, found that 40% of men will not continue relations with those who are rude and boorish to behave with the staff of cafes or restaurants. So guys expect girls to be soft and kind.
- When a woman is confident, her voice sounds seductive, her eyes sparkle and her walk becomes exciting. Such self-confidence does not depend on external data and intelligence. To cultivate self-confidence, psychologists advise such techniques:
- Look at your reflection with “loving eyes”. Find the 10 best qualities and remember them more often. Love yourself not only for them.
- Name and accept your negative qualities. Do not engage in self-injury, but think about how they can be replaced by positive ones. Treat failures calmly and constructively, draw conclusions and learn.
- Do not compare yourself with others.
- Dealing with positive people who accept you as you are.
- To live and act according to what you want, not to be criticized or frightened.
- Help others. This, too, will allow you to appreciate yourself.
- Smile often, and don’t be afraid to look directly and kindly in the eye.
- Rehearse your posture and gait and hone your gestures in front of the mirror.
- Watch for confidence and clarity of speech.
Men like smart and well-read women.
That is, you need to recognize yourself “in all your glory”, not to feel any negative emotions about your person and to show it all with your appearance. With adequate self-esteem guy to fall in love with you will be easier.
A girl who is friendly, open, easy to talk to, well-groomed, healthy, without bad habits will certainly attract attention. But it is important to be, not to seem. After all, the first impression – not a pledge of long-term relationships.
Excessive self-esteem can lead to painful reactions, aggression and obsession, if you do not succeed in achieving your goal.
Psychological techniques to influence a man
Once the attention is attracted, and dating took place, you need to try to find common interests. It is easier to do if the guy studies with you, works or socializes in the same company. You can just make inquiries. And then use your knowledge to find the key to a guy’s heart:
- To develop a scenario for an “unexpected” meeting (in a sports club, at a party, a concert).
- To research online information about his car brand, profession, favorite hobbies, music and movies to create common themes in conversations.
- To match his idea of a “dream girl”.
To “consolidate” the effect and continue to communicate, experienced heartthrobs recommend using basic psychological tricks in a relationship:
- Call the object of your hunt by name more often.
- Learn to say the “right” compliments. Everyone loves praise, but not flattery. Although egocentric men and flattering words taken at face value.
- Do not criticize or make incompetent.
- Ask for uncomplicated help. Men like it when they recognize their superiority in any matter. If you get a rejection, don’t worry. Try an appointment after a while. Psychologists say that if a man refuses, the subconscious sense of guilt will make him obligingly fulfill a smaller request next time. Better yet, create a situation so that the guy himself offered to help you.
- Carefully enter the personal space during communication (about 50-100 cm), so as not to cause irritation. Decrease this distance with each subsequent meeting.
- Try to be more honest when answering questions. But at the same time, flirt nicely. Don’t be corny.
Psychological techniques will help you find the key to a man’s heart.
When it becomes clear that the “fish has taken the bait,” you should try out the method of ignoring. But only so as not to offend and not to push away. You can refuse the next date, under the pretext of being busy (do not forget to invent a plausible story to reassure the confused man), to be cold and distant. Or innocently flirt with other guys. The hunter in the man will revolt when he feels that the “prey” that was in his hands is slipping away. This is the psychology of influencing a man.
How do you know if a guy likes you?
- When the company laughs at an unexpected joke, one unconsciously looks at the person he is interested in. If you met your eyes at this moment, there is no doubt in mutual sympathy.
- If a guy often fixes his eyes on you and tries to keep you in his sight.
- He tries to cheer you up, to surprise you, to make you feel good, to ask questions and to listen.
- Happy to meet you, he appoints a date.
How to get the guy you love if he does not want a relationship? First you need to be friends with him.
After all, friendship is “falling in love on pause. But try to use the definition of “friend” less often and do not emphasize that the relationship is purely amicable.
If a guy put you in the “deaf frenzy,” do not get upset. This will give an opportunity to get to know him better. And, if the desire to win the heart of his chosen one will not pass, you can: to cause jealousy, use a “friendly kiss” or just confess your feelings. By the way, psychological techniques to get your ex-boyfriend back, also start with this trick: First of all, you need to establish a friendly communication.
To get a guy who does not want a relationship at all, you can try NLP techniques.
Love is blind, but we want to win the guy by all means
Neurolinguistic programming techniques
To “hook” the attention of men for a long time, you can try to use basic psychological techniques taken from neurolinguistic programming techniques (techniques of anchoring men in psychology). Neurolinguistic programming is a set of techniques that influence the subconscious. Some people master the simplest of them unconsciously – the so-called natural manipulators. There are even techniques for controlling crowds or public opinion with NLP tools, which are difficult to learn and apply. Although some psychologists consider NLP a myth.
Sympathy arises between people who are similar in some way . In psychology, this feeling of trust is called “rapport.” It can be achieved:
- Identification of “points of contact”. Similar interests, hobbies, place of study, birth immediately bring you closer. Find them or create them. Unobtrusively bring it to the attention of the guy you want to reach. Mirroring. When no common themes are immediately found, you can just implicitly copy gestures, posture, pace of breathing. In a conversation, when answering, to repeat part of a question with the same intonation. But do not go overboard, so that the man does not think he is being teased.
- Joining in. Use the same vocabulary, pronunciation, take an opinion on some questions, listen carefully, agree and nod.
- To please a guy, most often behave unnaturally, showing a “better version of themselves”, exaggerate their merits. Men mistake this as a challenge or an indication of their inadequacy. Before telling your life story, it’s a good idea to create a comfortable environment for your partner so that he opens up and speaks out. The ability to listen is sometimes more valuable than the ability to shine with erudition and subtle peace of mind.
- You can not tell everything about yourself at once. Let the man invent and embellish the image to your liking.
- During the conversation be sure to monitor the reactions of the interlocutor. This will give an opportunity to stop in time, if the conversation goes in the wrong direction.
Only by observing a certain amount of time for a person can learn to “read” him. Especially breathing and eyes are informative.
Do not tell the man everything about yourself at once, let him invent and embellish your image
- When a rapport has been created, and you can see that the other person feels comfortable, you need to “anchor” him in the moment of emotion. It is possible not to evoke a peak of emotion yourself, but to take it from the man’s memory by asking him to talk about joyful moments in his life. To do this, you need to enter personal space before the spiritual upswing. And then just touch the back of his head, his forearm, his elbow… To a place not quite normal, but easily accessible. You can repeat the “anchoring” another time. This technique means that subconsciously the guy will remember that your presence is pleasant, and you will be able to remind him of this associative feeling by touch at any time.
- Using emotion to influence subconscious desires . Up to and including anger. But it must be a calibrated operation: to bring the person out of himself and stop in time to, calming him down, take over. Many people, after an outburst of anger, are susceptible to influence and suggestion because of a desire to make amends. Those who are soft in nature also react to other people’s rage directed in their direction.
- Try to emotionally charge a man . So that he only with you always feel elated.
- If a young man has some kind of failure, comfort him . Leading to the idea that no one but you understand him. So you can become indispensable in his life.
- The technique of repeating the same ideas in different words. And perhaps you can convince him that you are the only love of his life.
The techniques of anchoring men and women in the essence of manipulation
However, manipulation is still not the method that should be used in love affairs. After all, such techniques are a kind of violence on the subconscious of the other . It pays to be honest with the loved ones from the beginning. And the relationship between the manipulator and the “victim of the experiment” is neither open nor equal. Although, we must admit, covert manipulation is part of many relationships.
What to do if you can’t win a guy’s love by any means? Backing off and learning a lesson is the best thing to do. Under no circumstances should you run after him. Don’t take him for pity. Even if the relationship will take place, they are unlikely to please for a long time. After all, instead of memories of how a man wooed and sought you beautifully, in memory will only own intrigues and psychological techniques. Love – should be a miracle. And the miracle can wait.
How to win a man’s heart? What categorically can not do?
Banal texts no one reads, it is a fact. In every article there must be some zest.
Expert – Margarita Lopukhova
Family psychologist. For eight years I save the “family unit” from collapse. I help couples to regain love and understanding.
How to win a man? At least once in a lifetime every girl has “Googled” this question, frantically sought answers in magazines or tried to find out from experienced girlfriends. This article contains all known scientific and unscientific ways – choose any, depending on your courage and desperation.
The male perspective
Let’s start, perhaps, right away with the celebrants. While one part of the male population reverently keeps secret ways to win their manly hearts, the other half, the more cooperative, managed to participate in various surveys.
Most gentlemen argue that the most important thing is to be yourself. Even if the great actress in you is gone and you perfectly reproduce the image of the Woman of His Dreams (meticulously constructed thanks to chatty friends or a whole spy work on compiling a dossier on the tastes, interests and preferences of the subject), the falseness will become more and more apparent with each passing day. It may end up that you yourself will not notice that the boundaries between the skillful acting and the real you, erased, but not in your favor. You will forget who you are and who were, but the new image nabe you stigma. Instead, the coquettish temptress we get confused exasperated hysteric. Do we need it? No. Be yourself, develop your best qualities.
- Grooming. Studies have long shown that guys pay attention to the lady’s nails, and how! By the way, it is not necessary to attract extra attention with meters eyelashes (as if a dead caterpillar went to his death, resting on your eyes) or horrifying acid color nails. Men love eyes. But they love not for the fact that you have dyed hair in the technique balayage or on the face perfectly performed contouring (not everyone even knows these terms), and that this hair is shiny and soft to the touch (and not flooded with styling products), and the skin is soft and healthy color.
- Self-confidence. It’s hard to be sexy with a bunch of complexes. Shyness, stiffness and taciturnity is not acceptable to everyone. Most men prefer cheerful, sociable girls who are out of any awkward situation can come out with dignity and turn everything in their favor.
- Know how to listen. Some girls (from excitement or because of their natural chattiness) forget that their chosen ones also want to share funny and not so funny stories from their lives, but they can’t insert the word into your turgid stream of speech. And besides, know how to choose the topic of conversation – if a man listens patiently your enthusiastic hour-long monologue about discounts on palettes in Rive Gauche – this does not mean that he is really interested. Perhaps he has already gone into the astral of his thoughts and dreams to teleport away from you.
- Compliments. Men so need compliments! In society it is not customary to present the male sex with compliments without cause. It’s happening since childhood – while praising Lisa for her curls, dress, bow and rosy cheeks, Sergei raises compliments except for the intricate construction of Lego. Praise your loved one, but do not forget about the sincerity – as we remember, falseness is not welcome at any stage of the relationship.
- Similar interests. This is especially true for gentlemen who have some unconventional hobbies. Dig around on the Internet, read magazines and blogs on the subject – awareness and confident command of the topic will certainly impress a man. Don’t forget to include the necessary topic in the dialogue as neatly and naturally as possible.
- Sexuality. Of course, without this point is nowhere. How to win a man? Be a woman. Each representative of the stronger half of mankind has its own views on sex and preferences. But all respondents in one voice voice says favorite to drag from her, her partner and what they do in bed. Enjoy – relationships and life in general.
Remember when you were a kid and you used to read “Bad Advice”? You know, the book with the humorous advice you shouldn’t follow. Kids grew up, but the bad advice stayed. Sometimes girls get them from “avowed” or just inexperienced girlfriends, sometimes they make them up for themselves, and then follow them themselves. Some things need to be completely eradicated from your appearance, behavior and lifestyle, if you really set out to win someone’s heart.
- Pretentiousness. We’ve brought this up before, but if you missed it, at least read this one. You can play the sex bomb indefinitely, but if in fact it turns out that in bed you numb with embarrassment and falls into anabiosis – not even the most intelligent guy can guess that somewhere he was fooled. Similarly, lovers of parties can suffer a fiasco – if you said on a first date that you do not accept alcohol, and then suddenly he saw in your purse ten cards loyalty chain Alkomarkets – how will you justify?
- Obtrusiveness. Yes, this article is intended for girls who have decided to move into action. But the object of the hunt does not need to know that. He must think that he is the conqueror here and no one else. Undoubtedly, some people will be very flattered by the increased attention to his person. You may even be favored with attention. But don’t count on any serious feelings. In the end, any article on “How to win a man?” comes down to how to make a man want to win you.
- Enigma. No, we’re not wrong. The fact is, some girls go overboard with mystery and turn themselves into a Rubik’s Cube instead of an enchanting stranger. If you lower your eyes and bat your eyelashes at every question and evade answers, at best the guy will think you don’t want to reveal your soul because you’re not interested in him. At worst, it’s because you’ve been through a lot and you have something to hide.
- Do not strive to be his and become a parent, and friend, and mistress at once. Especially dangerous strategy to “become one of their own. Even if he really likes to drink beer with friends and watch soccer – he has friends for that. The ability to open a bottle of beer with your teeth, no doubt, will make a lasting impression, but the heart of the subject will beat faster from shock, rather than from tender feelings.
If you have not started to spit from just one word, you are either a very determined woman, or completely desperate, or just a reasonable lady, devoid of prejudices and stereotypes (and we already like you).
How to win a man, knowing his zodiac sign?
- To conquer Aries, be as energetic and sociable as he is. No passivity and couch potatoes. And shield a man from seeing the process of bringing beauty. Let him see you already “dressed up.
- Share the interests of Taurus and create the impression that he can talk to you about anything. Spiritual unity is his main fetish.
- Gemini – aesthetes, to win them a woman must be bright and attractive. And – curiously – constantly keep the male brain in tone. If you have nothing to discuss, except soap operas – you’re at the wrong place.
- But Cancers can be quite submissive to housewives. Coziness, housekeeping, and kindness – and he is already bound by the claws of his hands and feet.
- Lions love with their ears. A sexy voice, gentle whispers and smooth, full of content, speech – your main weapon.
- Now, who should not guess that he became a prey, it is Virgo. No predators – a quiet and modest girl. And do not spread the word about your past relationships. It’s as if the Virgo here is you.
- Libras like no one else loves with their eyes. They will notice everything – from hair to manicure. Needless to say, that with such observation, to show up on a date with him in the form of “in the hospital said that a girl was born, but now everyone began to doubt” – taboo?
- Looseness and fiery sexuality are unlikely to win over Scorpio without it. The sexiest sign of the horoscope looking for a mate to match.
- Sagittarians need the same easygoing, cheerful and optimistic people, which they are. Pessimism and gloomy at home.
- Be able to adjust to the mood of the chosen one and imperceptibly disappear at the right moment, allowing him to enjoy loneliness – if Capricorn wrote a letter to Santa Claus, it would be exactly the description of the ideal woman.
- Aquarius is unlikely to appreciate a completely independent and strong Amazon. Let him be in charge. Be gentle and vulnerable – and he will melt.
- But the romantic and soft Pisces, oddly enough, likes strong and determined women. But the love of romance will not be superfluous. Add to this a woman’s beauty and he is yours.
Tips from psychologists and sexologists
Now let’s move on to methods of attracting men that have been proven by science and tested by time.
- Kindness. While women around the world are learning how to walk in heels and draw perfect arrows, researchers at the University of Texas have found that kindness is what both guys and girls are looking for in their other half.
- Youth. And not by passport, either. Everyone has an acquaintance or acquaintance, who in their under-30s with their grumbling and whining drives everyone to whiteness. Open-minded view of the world and the people in it, the desire to develop, the desire to try new things and take from life all – that’s what we mean by the word “youth. Inspire your partner and energize him.
- Know your worth. Does the rag you use to mop the floors turn you on? No. So what makes you think the stronger sex has lower standards?
- Rounded shapes. Of course, everyone has different tastes. Some prefer boyish figures and ultra-short haircuts. But nature has it in males to indulge in feminine shapes and roundness. Nature, evolution, instincts – if you do not believe in horoscopes, believe in this at least.
- Interest. If you are too keen on the game in the Snow Queen, your Kai will find a lively and warmer gal and run away from your kingdom.
- Energy. There are women who can seem to conquer anyone. They don’t ask themselves the question “How do I win a man?” at all. They do it easily and effortlessly – a couple of jokes here, a sincere smile and a casual compliment there – and already the man himself is looking for a meeting with her. What is their secret? They love themselves, high from life and in any person, in any situation see the good.
What is the perfect recipe for winning men like? Take care of their appearance, his life (both bring them into order), show genuine interest elected, but do not create the impression that he – the only thing that is worthwhile in your life. Read the advice from psychologists, astrologers, and study what he likes and what he does not accept. And out of all this choose what suits you best. By the way, studies show that during the first seconds of dating a man looks at a woman’s face, and specifically at the lips. Choose a lipstick of a beautiful color, go to the mirror and smile. Catch that positive wave and swim on it on a dream date.