How to get your ex-boyfriend back? Just 5 simple steps – and he is yours forever!
How to get your ex-boyfriend back? With this question begins a huge number of messages that come to the email project “The power in thought”.
What to do if your favorite went away, and the worst nightmare of a dream came true? How to get his loved one without asking and humiliation? Also tormented by these questions? Then this article is especially for you.
The breakup of a relationship is a huge pain.
I understand you, and all my heart feel sympathy: I also went through it, and there were times when the question “How to get back ex? ” was the main thing in my life.
Sad but true: breakups, betrayals and quarrels in today’s world are much more common than the fairy tale stories of lovers who “lived happily ever after and died in one day”.
It’s doubly painful if you’re still in love when you break up and aren’t ready to put a fat end to the relationship . But it’s so easy to do stupid things in a fit of desperation, anger and pain when you’re racking your brain about how to make peace with your loved one and get them to come back.
So I want to share with you an action plan of five simple steps. It will not only help you get your lover back, but also keep him forever, if, of course, you wish to do so.
There is no higher mathematics or magic – only simple laws of energy connection, acting absolutely on all people. How to use them, so that the beloved man again “attracted” to you? It is enough to consistently carry out the five actions that I will tell you about below, and the result will not keep you waiting.
5 simple steps that will help you get your ex back
Hard to believe? I once went through all these steps myself, as recommended by Elizabeth Volkova, to get my dear relationship back. And I guarantee – it works!
Step One. Distance yourself from your ex and stop all contact
After the breakup a man is able to fully realize that you are no longer together, after about a month.
So, contrary to your first natural impulse to fix, explain and turn things around, stop any proactive actions – otherwise you will only make things worse.
But how do you get your man back without talking and crying?
Distance yourself, abstract away and do not try to tie your lover to you in any way, stop all contact with him.
For the first four weeks after the breakup, trying to get closer will work like a collision of unipolar magnets. Instead of becoming yours again, the ex will alienate, irritate, ignore and push you away. You’ll end up getting the opposite of what you want: losing both the relationship and your man forever.
Is this the effect you want?
The biggest mistake in the separation occurred when the “abandoned” couple is trying by all means to return his beloved, and to resume the relationship at any cost. However, the laws of attraction in this world work differently. To really get a man, and not to aggravate the already sad situation, you need another strategy.
How to make up without manipulation, promises to change everything for the better and other women’s nonsense?
Learn to let go! When you let go, an “empty” space naturally emerges, ready to be filled and then make it possible for your loved one to return.
But for the man to feel the inner emptiness without you, to realize how much he misses you, and want to return everything, you need to stop all contact with him.
First, you remove the mess that reigns in your own head after the breakup. If you try to return your loved one in the current state of mental confusion, the situation will only get worse.
In addition, retire and move at a sufficient distance, you will be able to revise the attitude towards your partner, to look at your couple with different eyes, a different angle. When passions subside, try to answer the questions with a cool head: were you really happy, do you really want to go back to him, whether it was not a temporary weakness or habit?
Secondly, during this time, and without your reminders beloved will realize how he was happy with you. A simple example: if you cut off a finger, he will feel that he lost something important. It does not need any additional reminders.
One way or another, the vacated space will soon begin to do the work for you and attract a man. And your task – to move on the way to the return of his beloved further, following the steps of our instructions.
Step two. Break the energy connection and stop thinking about how to get your ex back
All processes in the world are based on the exchange of energy. The sun warms the earth – and flowers grow on it. You pet a dog, and it licks your hand. The same processes are taking place in the couple’s relationship: energy flows are circulating continuously, from the woman to the man and back again, irrespective of their will. This is called energetic connection.
If everything is in harmony in the couple, if love and understanding prevail, the flow of energy is inexhaustible. When one of you lacks energy, needs support or help – the other shares and feeds it with its energy, gives warmth and care.
But if the relationship has ceased, and the energy connection is not yet broken, it will bring you nothing but a feeling of exhaustion, useless “draining” of vital forces and fatigue.
So, check yourself. If after a breakup you:
- Have forgotten what it means to sleep peacefully at night;
- Do not find yourself with grief;
- Talk only about how to get the guy back, and it already annoys everyone;
- Jealous and constantly thinking about where he is and with whom;
- You can hardly stop yourself from calling or writing him;
– It means that the energy connection between you is still strong. But only now it does not fill and nourish you, but on the contrary, it completely “sucks” the strength and desire to live on.
So the most important thing is to stop it immediately. If you continue to listen to the endless “you and him” songs, turn through albums with shared photos in tears and mentally invent the text of the conversation that will help get loved one back – the forces for real action to return him will not remain at all.
“Why?” – you ask. Let me explain: when a couple is on the verge of separation, a huge amount of negative energy is accumulated in a relationship. And over time, it only proliferates. If you continue to swirl in the currents of this negative energy after the separation, it will lead to even more problems and estrangement on the part of your ex.
At this time it is important for you to focus on yourself, get rid of guilt and regret, love yourself and fill up with energy instead of “draining” it in vain. A self-love marathon will help you do just that.
In just 21 days you:
- Switch from “can’t live without it” to “I feel good, I’m happy and worthy of love” ;
- Stop “gnawing” at yourself for failures and regrets about what did not come true;
- Spread your shoulders, smile and enjoy life more often and men will start to pay attention to you.
How to break the energetic connection with your former partner
The main thing is to take this step immediately and decisively, not allowing yourself weaknesses:
- Allow your ex to pack his things and leave (if he hasn’t already done so) ;
- Stop calling and texting him;
- Forbid yourself to scroll through his social networks and monitor every step;
- Give up trying to “accidentally” run into him in the park or on the way to work;
- Get rid of all the things in the house, left by his ex – they are also carriers of his energy;
- Free yourself even from thoughts about him, as far as possible.
Only by completely refusing communication and any contact with the one who left you, you will be able to break the energy field linking you.
What happens after that?
At the moment of breaking the energy field with your lover, he will begin to “starve”, demanding a renewed flow of energy. This is why at this very time many exes make attempts to restore the relationship.
But take your time! If you don’t detach now, you will return to the flow of negative energy, and your relationship will continue to spiral in an even worse direction. Therefore, the energy flow should be interrupted for at least one month.
This is not a small period, but it is necessary for cleaning the energies from the negative energy. And it is during this time, your man will most likely begin to remind about himself, as he will feel the formed energetic emptiness.
Be vigilant and do not give in! Your journey is not over yet. Any contact with your ex will negate all further efforts to get him back.
But if you follow all the instructions to the end and resist the temptation to “take one look” and “say a few words”, then after a month your energy fields will start to attract like magnets, and you will have to wait just a little longer until the moment when your ex will be near you again.
Step Three. Clearly state your intentions for the return of your loved one.
Why is this necessary? Here is a simple example to illustrate.
Let’s say you want to find a new job. You have sent out a resume and even receive feedback. But the potential options do not suit: the salary is small, the trip is far, the company is unreliable, and even just inside you are not “buzzing” joyfully from the proposed job.
And why? Because you do not know exactly what you want.
You have not thought in advance:
- In what area of the city you want to work;
- What should be the relationship in the team;
- What exactly you want to do, so your work caused a rush of energy, and not boredom and looking at the clock while waiting for the end of the day.
To make our dreams come true the way we want them to, we need to visualize and visualize them in detail. This rule works in all areas of life, including relationships with loved ones.
Now you know why you can not sit back and wait for the man to come to you himself to fill the resulting energy void? It is your task to give your future relationships a definite, specific direction.
To do this, all you have to do is one simple manipulation. If you want to have an effect on your relationship with your beloved, you must do it in the same way as you did in the past. Imagine in the smallest detail how it will happen, literally feel the resulting emotions and try to hear the words you say to each other.
This is the key to your success, to have a clear mental picture and a clear image in your head of how to make up with your beloved. Do this exercise for 10-15 minutes, but no more, and go about your daily business.
In this case, do not go back to your thoughts about your ex again and again throughout the day. Two times a day is enough to turn the wheel of fortune again in your direction. And the remaining power better save for the next steps of the instruction to bring a man back to your life.
Step Four. Avoid Negative Vibrations
Did you know that you are living in a time, when each of us can create that reality, which he desires, simply by changing the flow of energy inside himself?
Let me explain how this works. When your soul and body are in balance and in harmony, life is fabulous. But if something has taken you out of balance, knocked you out of balance, there is dissonance, negative energies take over, and your happy life crumbles before your eyes like a house of cards.
Breaking up with a loved one is a very traumatic situation. And it releases so much negativity, which can sweep away all the good things in its path, like a tsunami. And you, to return your loved one, such a storm of negativity is not necessary.
How to get your ex back and get rid of anger, anger and other destructive emotions?
The first thing you need to do is to accept the fact that the relationship is over, and pining for the lost and departed just makes no sense.
The second thing you need to do is to try to get rid of the hatred towards your ex for leaving you or trading him for someone else. I understand that this is not easy to do. But I’m going to help you make it easier.
Every time you feel anger, resentment or hatred when remembering a loved one, take a deep breath, then exhale and…calm down. It’s not hard, is it? The secret of the technique is that it should be done every time you feel the slightest jealousy, irritation, or anger toward your ex.
Your goal is to rise from the low, negative vibrations caused by negative emotions to the high, pure, and powerful ones.
Another way to cleanse your body of low vibrations is to constantly shift your attention to the positives and memories of spending time together with your loved one.
Do you know the proverb, “The wolf you feed grows the wolf”? Apply it to your situation: when you concentrate on negativity, anger, jealousy, and resentment, negative energies grow inside like yeast. And if you think and imagine that your beloved has left for someone else, then it will turn out that way. And so – do not feed the dark, “evil” wolf in your heart.
Switch to positive thinking and action – feed the light, “good”, wolf of your soul. And how to do this – I’ll tell you next.
Step Five. Maintain a positive emotional state
It is a positive attitude that will allow you to stay in a state of love without slipping into a low vibration. First of all, you must learn to love yourself, and not to think twenty-four hours a day, fixated on how to get your man back. Only when you love yourself properly will you be able to truly love other people and become love itself: you will radiate and broadcast it everywhere. Moreover, you will be able to easily attract the love that comes from others. Not to ask for it, not to beg for it, but to receive it with gratitude.
But how do you get to that state of high vibrations and love that will attract, as if by magnet, the attention and interest of your former lover? Follow the instructions:
- Be grateful for everything that happens in your life. Appreciate every moment of it, even if your loved one is not with you now. After all, everything that comes your way makes you stronger, wiser and more aware in the long run. And these are the gifts for which life should be thanked, not cursed, even if at the moment you’re bitter and hard.
- Become stronger while your former lover, deprived of your energy, is weakening and fading. Channel the freed forces and time to recuperate physically and emotionally, to work out and do yourself, look beautiful and blossom, to regain confidence in yourself and your own value.
- Remember that you – not an “add-on” and not “trailer” to a man, and a self-sufficient, beautiful and energetic woman. Make sure that when you meet you the first thought in his head was: “How could I have lost such a woman?”
How to get your ex back: 5 steps behind, what’s next?
First, praise yourself. After all, you have successfully passed this way, although it was not easy. If all steps are consistently fulfilled and the breakup was at least a month, then the necessary positive energy for the “return attraction” loved one in your life has accumulated.
And probably the former partner is already wondering how you do without him. Now is the perfect time to take action.
All it takes is one text message or your call with an offer to sit down for a cup of coffee to get him to readily agree. And your positive vibes and vibes, attractiveness, energy and good mood will do the rest of the work for you, completely unnoticed by your partner.
He will look at you with different eyes and see a completely different woman – not at all the one he so recently wanted to get away from. He will be surprised at how pleasant and comfortable it is to be with you again, and feel how much he has missed that energy of love, which again forms an invisible connection between you.
Who in their right mind would be able to give up that kind of woman? I think the answer is obvious!
Always remember that men can love you exactly as much as you love and appreciate yourself. And if you suspect that you have problems with self-esteem and self-love, do not wait for others to confirm it.
And even when the operation called “How to get your ex back” is complete, remember that you need to constantly work on maintaining a positive energetic connection : only it will help you keep your beloved forever. Regularly and systematically work on yourself and your relationship, be happy and loved!
How to get a loved man back after a breakup – psychologist tips
The fundamental word in the question is “beloved. So you still have feelings for him. You are suffering, and you feel bad without him. You can’t come to terms with the new reality of being alone without him. And if you have a child together, the breakup feels like a double blow.
This article will not be a placebo pill, but it will, above all, be a guide for you: you will understand what you absolutely can not do, and what you should focus your main “forces.
What not to do: The Top Mistakes
We will not “dig” in detail into the reasons for the breakup. They are certainly important as benchmarks, and will be addressed in the context of recommendations. Meaningful load article, the maximum to help you understand how to get back the man you love.
Let’s start with the main thing, namely, those mistakes that do not bring you closer, but rather, only alienate your loved one from you.
- Mistake #1 “Full immersion.”
When, after a breakup, (no matter what the reason was before) you are “immersed” in the situation; begin to suffer and live in the past, and nurture a plan to return unfaithful lover, nothing but permanent stress, and a possible depression as a bonus, which will kill you – you will not get.
You’ll, as the saying goes, be a mess to yourself. You’ll be exhausted, nervous and irritable. Do you think a man would want to go back to a woman like that?
- Mistake #2 “You should never humiliate yourself.
Look, for example, the reason for his departure loved one, was your infidelity. You are a living person, and you can make a mistake. But, afterward, you realized that he made an irreparable mistake. And sincerely repented. You realized how much you love your man and how all you need is him. But he is already gone. He’s not ready to forgive you now.
The key word is “now.” If you start attacking him when “the wound is not yet healed,” and you start groveling: begging and begging, saying, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I get it! Just come back!”, thus putting yourself in a losing position. In his eyes, against the reason, you can seem pathetic.
That is, not the person you want to sympathize with, but the person who will cause squeamishness.
- Mistake #3: “You can’t resort to blackmail.”
Let’s say the reason for leaving is that your lover has grown cold to you and left you for someone else. It’s like a kick in the head for you. And you can’t think of anything better than to resort to blackmail: either you come back, or I’ll do something to myself.
Another option: if you have a child together, you can blackmail her by forbidding her to see him. Like, come back and we will have a full family like before, and if you do not agree, you will not see the child.
This approach, first of all, turns against you. The emotions of anger and rage come into play. And instead of “building bridges of reconciliation,” you burn them to the ground.
How to get a man you love after a breakup?
- Mistake # 4 “Do not take a man by storm.
Under no circumstances should you guard outside your home or near work. It is strictly forbidden to pester a man with calls and messages. Especially those that have a passing semantic message: from remorse, declarations of love, personal revelations to, threats, blackmail, and curses.
Such an approach, at a minimum, will give the impression that you are not completely sane and adequate. Moreover, it will leave a fundamental imprint in the form of a “cemented” opinion of you as a person who should be distanced from yourself as far away as possible.
- Mistake #5 “Don’t involve third parties”
As the saying goes – you can’t judge the winners! All means are good in a struggle. But let’s not forget the “overkill. When you involve relatives, friends, colleagues, and just acquaintances, like, “Talk sense into him! I feel so bad without him.”
Or “No one will love him as I do!”, and even as a variant others become active participants of the process of reconciliation, that is – as a way of transferring information, you not only make the loved one feel sorry for you, but you also make other people embittered. And in the end everyone will turn away.
Moreover, the inclusion of third parties, will put the man in an awkward position. And to get out of it, he will make every effort to once and for all cut you out of his life.
- Mistake #6 “Pestering your current lover.”
In this part, there can be several reasons for breaking up: mutual desire and then a belated realization that you’re not ready to let the man out of your life. Or, when he left you for someone else.
In either case, the entire focus of your attention, will be addressed to the new partner. For she is seen as an obstacle to your long and joint future. You get the impression that as soon as this other woman is gone, he will immediately return, and everything will be great and great.
In this kind of approach, you will only be playing against yourself. By wanting to protect the current one from you, the man will “team up” with her even more.
- Mistake #7 “Recreating your man’s favorite type.”
Simply copying someone by “annulling” yourself. Each of us, has its own, what is called – chips. They make us who we are. Imitating someone is like playing a role where you don’t know the text or the plot of the play.
Imitating someone can make you look ridiculous. And instead of the expected effect, you’ll get a completely different reaction.
What you should do
When you and I figured out the mistakes, there is a reasonable question: “But what should you do to get your favorite man? In answering that, the main steps will help you.
Step 1 “Cut off everything unnecessary in your head and soul.
Start the “filtering” process in your head and soul. Analyze the reason for leaving. Try not to immerse yourself in the situation with your head. Think about what conclusions you can draw now. Try to abstract away and imagine that the main character in this situation is not you, but someone else.
What advice would you give to that person? It’s not for nothing that they say, “It’s easy to give advice to others, but not to yourself.” It would be a kind of trick to get away from the emotional component, and allow you to take a sober look at what happened.
The process of “filtering” involves discarding everything unnecessary and destructive that is directly related to your inner world.
Step 2 “Give freedom to your man, but above all – to yourself.
When you analyze the reasons for the breakup, and make appropriate conclusions for yourself, allow yourself and him some freedom. This part is very relevant phraseology: “The time to throw stones, and the time to gather stones. That is, in essence, everything has its time.
Step #3, “Create a better version of yourself.”
Look, we can’t make the other person love, appreciate, and respect us. But we can make the other person, without any compulsion, love us. Started to appreciate and respect. And in order to do this we have to:
- To love and respect ourselves;
- to take an “inventory of the prickly sides” that will repel us, and to engage in working through them;
- to be interesting, first of all, to yourself. To do this, you need to broaden your horizons, bring bright events into your life, and praise yourself for even minor achievements. When a person is not interested in himself, he begins to “cling” to others, those who will save him from boredom;
- to improve his or her strengths, rather than highlighting one’s own shortcomings;
- to remember that: “In a healthy body a healthy spirit.” You should pay attention to your health, and keep your body in shape.
As you may have seen, “the best version of yourself” is about developing and improving, not zeroing in on your personality.
Step #4: “Challenge him to a frank conversation.”
But in that case, when your emotions cool down, and you become a better version of yourself. Here, we can even talk about the effect of surprise: when he expects to see the familiar and so familiar, and his eyes will appear another – “updated” and so unfamiliar.
But, it is worth making a remark: if the cause of the parting was your infidelity, it is important to focus on awareness and sincere repentance. It is very important to choose the right words that will help to convey the depth of your experience, and attempts to return him – the only and most beloved.
Words that will give him hope that you really understand everything. You’re ready to beckon. Words that will make you believe – there won’t be such black spots in your life anymore.
Step #5 “Write a confession letter.”
If, for some reason, he won’t get in touch and doesn’t want to see or talk, write him a confession letter. Tell him all your feelings. It may not yield instant results, but it will still allow you to plant a seed of hope.
Step #6, “Plug in the feminine wiles.”
We talk about how a meeting can also be tweaked. Make it look casual. But in order for it to have a positive effect, you need to consider avoiding the outlined mistakes, and the steps passed.