The girl does not write first: do I need to do something?
For most guys, a girl’s counter-initiative serves as a hundred percent marker of her liking. But what to do if a girl never writes first? Does she not like you? It’s not so straightforward. Let’s look into the question!
When a guy writes first?
At the beginning of dating the initiative belongs to the guy, because he has an active role in the relationship. This means that you can write first to get acquainted, invite the girl to the movies, initiate the first kiss and openly demonstrate your sympathy. If you’re in a relationship, you can slow things down to make sure the girl feels the same way about you.
Remember that for every two steps you take, there should be at least one step of the girl, otherwise you just do not give her the opportunity to realize and grow sympathy for you.
If you have not met in person, but just correspond in VK or messenger, the rule of two steps also works. Pay attention to how often she intercepts the initiative in a conversation, is interested in you, asks questions. If all of these things are present, then do not sweat the fact that she did not write first, most likely she just does not want to seem intrusive.
But if you have already met and even kissed, but she never writes first, then most likely there are more serious reasons for this, which will be discussed below.
When does a girl write first?
“A girl in love always writes first” – do you think it’s an axiom? No, it’s not! A girl can write first because she is bored / has no one to talk to / she wants to feed her self-esteem / she likes talking to you / she likes you.
As you can see, there are a million reasons, and romantic sympathy comes last.
A girl is more likely to text a guy she sees as a friend than she is to text a guy she likes. This happens because communication with a friend does not cause excitement, anxiety and increased heart rate, and therefore she is not shy, not embarrassed and remains herself.
If a girl writes first, what does it mean?
- She takes you as a friend – you can understand this by the content of the conversation. For example, she willingly shares with you any experiences, discusses “female” topics and (oh my God!) talks about other guys. If you hear something like that, she’s definitely not considering you as her boyfriend. Change tactics or forget about her.
- She likes you a lot – you’ll easily figure that out if she likes all your photos and posts, gives you compliments, calls you to meet her, looks for and supports any topic of conversation. Is there such a thing? Feel free to ask her out, she’ll be happy!
Important! Be prepared for the fact that an unfamiliar girl will not write first, even if you zalikal all of her photos and posts on social networks. This is not enough to motivate her to take the initiative to communicate. It’s enough to write her a message to understand whether she is ready to get acquainted or not.
Reasons why a girl does not write first
Every second guy is confronted with the fact that a girl does not write or call first. You may have known each other recently or have been dating for a month, but she still does not give you the initiative. Let’s look at the most common reasons why a girl does not write first:
- She is spoiled by male attention . It’s easy to know that you’re not alone in waiting for her messages: under her photo there are dozens of likes from other guys, she looks very cool and outwardly superior to all the girls you know. If you’re not up to par with her looks, don’t expect her to text you or at least respond.
- She doesn’t like you . You’re not her type / she didn’t like hanging out with you / you have no common interests. Just accept it and don’t impose on an indifferent girl.
- She doesn’t want to seem intrusive . The opposite example of why a girl doesn’t write is that she’s afraid you’ll think she’s tacky/overly active/hungry for male attention. It’s easy to see that this is the reason: if a girl doesn’t write first, but willingly communicates, then she’s just trying to keep within her feminine gender role. In that case, keep communicating or call her for a meeting – she’ll agree.
- She has a lot to do. It also happens that a girl does not call or write because she is preparing for a session, a competition, defending her diploma, she is busy in numerous courses, working from morning till night, etc. To understand that this is the case, you can by indirect signs: she is rarely online, does not post anything, communicates only in the evenings or weekends, complains about the workload. Just support her during this difficult time.
- She likes another guy . She may not report it directly, but you’ll see it in these signs: the girl answers one-syllable, refuses to meet, does not initiate a conversation, does not give you likes and does not even support a friendly correspondence.
As you can see, there are several reasons why a girl does not write first. Based on this, remember the main thing: if you feel that she does not like you, then just back off . Well, if she happily keeps the conversation, then call her to meet you, then you will know what to do.
The girl does not write first, but she likes you.
How do you know a girl likes you even if she never writes first? There are several signs:
- The girl does not write first, but always responds;
- With pleasure communicates with you for hours;
- Actively responds to your jokes;
- Can cheer you up, support you, and even pity you;
- Likes your photos and posts;
- Agrees to meetings.
There are many more such signs, and they are easy to see if you shift your focus from yourself to her.
Remember the main thing: a girl does not write first, but responds – most often it means that she likes communicating with you. But it makes sense to slow down the pace of your correspondence to let her get bored.
She doesn’t write because she doesn’t like you
But what if she doesn’t write because she doesn’t like you? This also happens, and there are certain signs that indicate a complete lack of sympathy on her part:
- She doesn’t like anything on your page;
- If she replies, but unilaterally and without emoji;
- She does not support the initiative to talk and refuses to meet;
- She may not reply or even open your message for a long time, although she is online.
By the way, the latter indicates that she is fed up with you, so quickly wrap it up and do not write her anything.
Tip: If she stopped writing first, then she was tired of corresponding with you / she found a more interesting interlocutor / she got bored / she was offended. Choose what works best for your situation and act accordingly. A universal option is to ask how she’s doing, because you’re worried if she’s okay.
What to do if she doesn’t write?
So, moving on to the main thing, what to do if a girl does not write first? There are several options for action:
- If you are looking for how to make a girl to write first, then the following algorithm will suit you: hook, surprise or provoke her. To do this, do not be afraid to poke fun and joke in the dialogue. If it is interesting with you, then she is sure to write herself to experience similar feelings once again.
- In case the girl has become times less likely to write, then most likely she is waiting for the initiative. If you haven’t met in person yet, then call her to meet you the next time she writes. If you’re in a relationship, ask if she’s okay. Don’t be afraid to initiate a correspondence if you’re sure she likes you.
- If you think a girl doesn’t write because of her pride, then write her yourself. Why spoil the relationship with mutual insults? Tell her something interesting, make her laugh, share the news. Call for a walk in the park, after all.
- After a long silence girl you can always write to her himself. Male initiative is never punishable. But do not burden her, rather tell her what interesting things happened to you today.
- Should you always write to a girl first? In the beginning of dating for sure you should. Girls are shy to take the initiative at this time, so feel free to start a conversation. If you’ve been dating for a while but she never writes you, think about it: what if you don’t give her that opportunity? Maybe you’re always taking the initiative? Just slow down, you’re probably keeping her from missing you.
The universal answer to the question “what to do if a girl doesn’t write?” is this: calm down and write her yourself . Especially if you are dating. And if you’re not, then do not be afraid of the initiative. Otherwise, how will you understand her attitude?
And lastly: if you only a couple of times initiated a conversation and now you expect her to write without stopping – ohsti. At the beginning of the relationship the initiative rests almost entirely on the shoulders of the man, so be ready to dip his nymph to the first kiss and something else. And then she’ll definitely text you. I’ll tell you that for sure.
How to get a girl to respond to a text message
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It all depends on correspondence. Correspondence is an important way to get a girl to like you, make her think about you all day long and contact you unexpectedly. Do you know why an attractive girl on the subway looks at her phone screen? Yes, she’s texting back. Here’s a way to make sure a girl responds to your email.
- Reminder: All of these steps assume that you are looking for a romantic relationship with a girl.
- Most guys would write, “Hi, this is Ivan from the cafeteria, remember me?” That’s a mistake. Just assume that she remembers you and is looking forward to hearing from you. Asking if she remembers you should only be done in a flirty way (for example, make a joke about her having a few drinks when you met her at the party).
Keep the energy up. Try to keep the atmosphere you created when you first took her number. If you flirt by giving her derisive nicknames like “baby” or “goofy,” insert a nickname subtly reminding her of your liking.
Write a “hello” to her. Wait for her to respond. Most likely she will ask: “Who is this?” Introduce yourself to her. If she doesn’t answer, just leave her alone for a few days and try again. If she doesn’t respond to your messages, then she’s not interested in you. If she responds, ask her about her friends, family and interests. You’ll see what comes out of it. [1] X Source of Information
- Possible answer #1: If she answers: “Hi, who is this?”-you can play around with her by making her guess, or tease that she gives her number to so many guys that she doesn’t even know who’s texting her.
- Possible answer #2. If she replies: “Oh, hi, is that Ivan from the cafeteria?”-just text, “I hope you weren’t expecting a message from me, sitting all week with your phone in your hands ;)” It’s a little cheeky, funny, and allows you to start flirting right away. It may not be very manly to add emoticons to a message, but it’s hard to know that someone is joking in a text, especially if they don’t know you.
- Possible response. You might want to write, “So isn’t that the pretty blonde (or brunette) girl I met on Wednesday?” She’ll probably be a little shocked at your bravado, but she’ll laugh anyway.
Pretend to be indifferent until you text her next time. It’s a good idea to have three or four emails within a few days of the week before you call her or ask her out. During this time, you’ll have time to flirt with her, make her laugh, and be attractive enough for her to successfully call her the first time and ask her out. [2] X Source of Information
Understand the situation. If she’s not responding to your messages, it’s important to properly take control of the situation. There are different levels of correspondence, and it’s important to remember the appropriate etiquette for different occasions. Remember, if this is the first time you’re texting her, you’re still a regular stranger to her. So if she doesn’t respond to you, remember that she doesn’t owe you anything and don’t send her aggressive messages that she owes you a response.
- You can also try calling her after a couple of days. If she doesn’t answer, leave a voice message like, “Hi, Tanya. It’s Sasha. I sent you a message, but I wasn’t sure if it got through. I just wanted to chat and see how you’re doing.” [3] X Source of Information If she doesn’t call or text you back within a day or more, you should leave her alone and move on.
- Text her something concerned, like, “Is everything okay?” That way she’ll know you’ve noticed her lack of response, but you’re also worried about her.
- If she still doesn’t respond, wait about a week and send her a casual message saying that you’re a good guy and can be busy too. Write something like, “Hi, Tanya. I just got back from a vacation in the mountains. Just wanted to see how you were doing. See you soon.” [4] X Source of Information If she doesn’t respond again after a couple of days, it’s time to move on.
Know what to do if she stops responding before a date. If you need a response urgently, such as when the two of you are supposed to meet before a date, try texting her, “Is everything okay?” – and see if she responds. Wait twenty minutes and text, “Is our date still on?” If she doesn’t respond, she’s probably “blowing you off” and you should leave her alone. If something happened that prevented her from answering you, she will send you an explanation.
Don’t bore her. It is very important how often you write to her. It’s very easy to get into a conversation, but there is something to avoid in the first few days of correspondence with a girl. You don’t want to end your communication by annoying her with constant calls from a guy she just met.
Do it quickly. It’s best to text briefly (four or five messages from each) and then tell her you’re busy and will text her later. Try to be usually busy doing something interesting. You shouldn’t start a relationship with lies you have to remember all the time.
Respond at your own discretion. It’s very easy to get excited about a message from a hottie you like, but she’ll pay attention to how quickly you responded to her. She will know that you are interested in her and look forward to her messages. That will end the attempt right away. So let some time pass between messages and don’t bore her, but be careful about playing the manipulation game. Correspondence is good in that you have time to think hard about what you are going to say. So when it’s your turn to respond, use the time to think hard about your answer.
Finish the correspondence yourself. When it comes time to end the conversation, it’s best to say, “I have to run (or do something interesting, if you really have something to do). I’ll talk to you later.” If you end the correspondence yourself, it shows that you’re not being annoying.
Keep your cool. When she writes just “bye,” leave it at that (unless she asks a question). If she leaves the last message behind, you’ll be in control, and she’ll be surprised if you text her anything else.
Be tougher. There is nothing less attractive than a guy driven to desperation. If the girl you like doesn’t respond after several of your attempts, then it might be time to leave her and move on. Pick another girl and try your chances with her.
