How to help a loved one to come out of depression, how to help?
Depression is a mental disorder that is now quite common. This condition is considered dangerous, because it is difficult to diagnose and treat. Unfortunately, the threat lies not only in it. A person confronted with a mental disorder is not aware that they are trapped in the disease. If you suspect that your relative, friend or acquaintance has depression, try to help him or her. Only a close environment can lead them out of a dangerous state.
What to pay attention to
You do not need to be a professional psychologist to notice signs of depression in a loved one:
A sudden change in behavior. Not so long ago, you and your loved one were having fun together, and now he no longer enjoys life. He or she harps on about his or her own failures and the unfairness of this world.
Lack of concern for his or her appearance. Your relative, friend or acquaintance is no longer interested in how he looks. He or she does not care for his or her hair, does not brush his or her teeth, and does not shower.
The desire for solitude. The previously active person who had many friends suddenly became withdrawn. Because of depression, he doesn’t leave his house. Most of the time he sleeps or just lies on the couch.
Indifference to what is going on around him. Your loved one is no longer interested in anything. He does not aspire to anything and does not believe that things can change for the better.
Closure. Your loved one used to be very outgoing. He often smiled and talked about his plans. Now he avoids communication, does not come to meetings with friends.
Suppression of emotions, depressed mood. Your relative, friend or acquaintance is eaten up with guilt. He is irritable and dissatisfied with himself. He is tormented by emotions such as sadness and despair.
Depression can occur in absolutely anyone. Even people who are lively and energetic and have a strong character face this mental disorder. The causes of depression are most often constant failures, the loss of a loved one, severe fatigue.
Features of dealing with depression in men
Most often women are faced with a mental disorder, as they are very sensitive and emotional. Depression is also subject to men. Their psyche is less malleable than that of women. That is why it is much harder to help men cope with the disorder.
If you notice signs of depression in your friend, boyfriend or husband, you should talk to him about it. The man needs to realize that he has a problem. If he doesn’t, he is unlikely to come out of his depression.
How to Plan a Conversation:
If you want to get your significant other out of depression, talk to him. It is unlikely that he will want to tell you about his problems, but you don’t back down. Tell him you want to help and you are concerned about his condition.
Don’t let your friend, boyfriend or husband change the topic of conversation. Be persistent.
Remember that the person you want to help is depressed and very vulnerable. Try not to put too much pressure on them. Be tactful.
When your friend, boyfriend or husband realizes that he suffers from depression, ask him about the cause of the mental disorder. Depending on the answer, give advice.
Suggest seeking help from a psychologist. If your loved one is suicidal, don’t leave him or her alone. Immediately take him to a doctor.
How to help a friend?
Women faced with depression, you need the same as men, to lead a frank conversation. If you notice signs of mental illness in his girlfriend, then talk to her. At the same time the communication should be unobtrusive.
Before the conversation, turn off the phone, so as not to be distracted by calls. During the conversation, encourage her, ask her leading questions when she was awkwardly silent. At the end of the conversation, thank her for not being afraid to tell you about her problems.
Talk to your friend’s family and close friends. By rallying together, you will be able to get the woman out of depression faster (just don’t take pessimists and cynics into your team, which can only make the situation worse). Organize a group support session and invite a sick friend. The meeting and conversation will give her strength and give her confidence.
An effective weapon against mental illness is the ability to listen to the other person. During the conversation with your friend, try not to be surprised by her words. Be prepared for the fact that the woman will tell you some terrible secrets. If you start to criticize or evaluate her actions, she will alienate and shut down from you. Try to understand her actions and accept her points of view.
Never say things like “ignore”, “cheer up”. Such advice will not help, because often people in a depressed state of mind consider the situation in which they find themselves, hopeless. It’s better to tell your girlfriend that you will help her cope with difficulties and will always be there for her.
After the conversation, try to meet more often. If you have no free time, then call your girlfriend, send her text messages or emails. By such actions you will show your loved one that you do not forget about her.
If your friend is constantly sitting at home, then try to lure her out of the house. Interest her in something. For example, invite her to the movies to see a comedy or offer to go together to fitness or yoga. You can just go for a walk in the fresh air.
In getting rid of depression can play a positive role in introducing art. Let your friend write a poem, a story or try to draw a picture. Art will allow her to convey their emotions, feelings and mood, and perhaps she will discover new talents.
It is possible to bring a person out of depression through tactile contact. Take your friend’s hand more often. So you will show her that you care about her. The sick woman will no longer feel useless and lonely.
Your friend may deny the fact that she is suffering from depression. In that case, do not put pressure on her. Just try to always be there. After a while your friend will realize that you can trust. She herself will tell about her problems.
How not to become a victim of depression yourself?
Researchers in Great Britain from the Institute for Personnel and Personnel Development consider this mental disorder a “plague of the 21st century. Women suffer most often, as they are more susceptible to the environment. Men are also susceptible to mental disorders, albeit to a lesser extent.
According to experts, depression is very contagious. Like the flu or a cold, it is easily transmitted from one person to another. You’ve probably noticed yourself at work, how a bad mood spreads in a small team. It almost instantly infects the people around the person who is suffering from depression. An atmosphere filled with negativity has a negative effect on everyone.
When helping a relative, friend or acquaintance to get out of a depressed state, don’t fall into the trap of the illness yourself.
To avoid facing a mental breakdown, adhere to the following tips:
Don’t get upset if you encounter setbacks. The black streak is bound to end. Put all problems on the back burner. Fill your life with positive things.
Do not get locked in the problems of a loved one. You should continue to lead your usual way of life. Have fun, meet with friends, socialize.
Take care of yourself, watch your appearance and lead a healthy lifestyle.
Do not worry if you feel disturbed by feelings of dissatisfaction and powerlessness. Such a condition is understandable. You are helping another person to get out of depression, and their negative mood is transmitted to you.
If you notice signs of mental illness, visit a psychologist. A specialist will be able to help you. If you have difficulties in your life, don’t try to cover up other people’s problems. Keep your sanity and your own self. A clear understanding of what is happening to you will be your help in dealing with depression.
Education: In 2005, I completed an internship at the I.M. Sechenov First Moscow State Medical University and received a diploma in Neurology. In 2009, completed postgraduate studies in specialty “Nervous diseases”. Our authors
A friend in need, or how to help your loved one come out of depression
Everyone has a bad mood, despair or deep depression. It’s nice to feel support and friendly help in any case.
A true friend will not turn away from the sufferer, but will make every effort to show love and care. About how to help a friend or girlfriend to come out of depression, we will tell below.
How to recognize the presence of the disease?
To accurately determine the disease, you can not diagnose yourself or listen to the advice of acquaintances. It is important to go to a competent doctor, and not just one .
A consultation with several specialists will help to compare and choose a more effective treatment.
The doctor psychotherapist will conduct tests and analysis, to determine the degree of severity – light, medium or severe form. Assumed different treatment for each individual case.
It is strictly forbidden to treat friends with folk remedies or other unrecognized methods, even out of good intentions and great love. The best cure for friends is attention and practical help!
The difference between a sad mood and a sad mood
There are some people who overestimate their condition and some who underestimate it. In the first case, dejection is thought of as depression, and in the second, they downplay mental illness, thereby making matters worse.
Signs of lingering bad moods and loss of interest in life should not be ignored. So how do you know where there is a depressive state and where there is temporary despair?
| Symptoms of severe depression | Symptoms of feeling depressed |
| An attack lasts six months or more | One or more days are overcome by feelings of despair and sadness over temporary difficulties |
| Pessimism, inability to rejoice, apathy | More often than not, despondency recedes quickly |
| Detachment from the world, indifference to good and bad | Interest in life returns after a while |
| Irritability, constant insomnia, no appetite | Depression comes and goes once in a while |
| Constant fear without reason, guilt, difficulty concentrating | Fear, guilt, inattention occurs for some explainable reason |
| Motor and thought retardation | Sense and rationality are present in the usual state |
Depressive moods can also be temporary, but under certain circumstances:
Almost everyone shows symptoms of depression in moments of grief. More often than not, they go away with time when the pain and stress subsides. And if a person fights discouragement, takes medication in time, and accepts help from loved ones depression will disappear faster.
But to identify the exact symptoms of depression, to conclude and give a clear definition is possible if you analyze the person’s condition with the help of a psychotherapist. After all, the ways to support and help a friend depend on accurate knowledge.
So, depression is a mental disorder in which there is prolonged depression, fear without reason, loss of interest in life and many other unpleasant signs that prevent normal functioning and enjoying life. It is a distressing illness that darkens a person’s life every day.
A video will tell you about the 10 symptoms of depression:
What to do to get a person out of a debilitating condition?
Sometimes healthy people feel like they can’t find the right words of comfort. They don’t know what to say or how to act in the new circumstances.
There are times when some are so reluctant to intrude that they become indifferent. And there is the other extreme, when a friend gives excessive care and attention, not even letting them breathe on their own.
In both cases, the best is poise and understanding, love and devotion. After all, it is better to be simple and sincere, somewhere awkward, than indifferent or overprotective of the other.
Becoming a source of support for a friend is possible, the main thing is to have a desire, and the method will always be found. Five effective ways to alleviate the condition of a person suffering from depression, in whole or in part.
The right conversations
You shouldn’t lie and assure your friend that things are going to get better or change, if in fact the opposite is true.
Choose your phrases carefully, do not talk to him as a helpless victim and with pity, otherwise he will give up and start to think the same way. And that doesn’t lead to recovery.
Use your gift of speech in a way that strengthens and gives strength to fight. It is important to consider three characteristics: show respect, kindness and patience.
It is also necessary to notice successes, to praise the friend honestly, but without flattery, and to sincerely assure him of your love. When there are no words to talk about, you can just ask: “What would you like to talk about, tell? I’ll listen carefully.”
There are times when there is no need to say anything, no need to look for words, but it is better to be there, just listen to the person, experiencing the situation together. But don’t forget to be balanced and not to overdo it, so that you don’t fall into an apathetic state yourself!
Encouragement to positive action, motivation
More often than not, a person suffering from depression cannot see the motivation to live or fight on his own. He needs to be helped, gently persuaded and motivated to action.
Show a friend in deed and in words that despite the disease, his friends, relatives, family need him. And he is appreciated and loved as before.
He can do some household chores as much as possible. Even if the diagnosis is disappointing, it is possible to give the person strength and find even the smallest reason to fight for life.
A positive attitude and love reflected in deeds and words are free “medicine” to speed up the healing process.
Struggling with dangerous thinking
Noticing frequent thoughts of unwillingness to live, of worthlessness, it is necessary in some competent way to take a friend to the doctor . In addition, you should try to distract him from harmful thinking.
For example, knowing his hobbies in the past, offer to spend time together on walks, to play his favorite games, to draw, to walk his pet.
A great support is practical help: clean the house or do the shopping in the store. During working hours, don’t forget to be attentive and write a message, send a postcard, a funny encouraging story.
A reminder of the regimen, a caring
A friend who really wants to help takes their promises seriously and tries to be punctual.
After all, someone who has depression also has their own schedule set by a doctor, and you can’t ignore it.
Schedule on a piece of paper the regime for each week and attach it in a prominent place . On weekdays, it is advisable not to forget to call a friend closer to the right time and remind him to take medications, recommendations.
Such care will show that a patient friend is a man of his word and in fact shows love and help.
Convincing reasons to visit the doctor
It is better to prevent the disease in advance, than to procrastinate and then treat it for years or lose a friend. Therefore, noticing strange behavior, suicidal talk, you should take him to the doctor.
A patient friend can calmly and steadfastly convince the depressed person with warm but firm words, thus building trust. Do not say out loud that he needs to go to a psychiatrist.
It is better to tell the truth in a different way, that there is a competent specialist who has already helped many people. But there is a more serious situation in which courage and adequacy are needed.
Recognize and prevent dangerous actions
In special cases, when there is aggression, strange behavior, attempts to commit suicide, it is necessary to act calmly, but at the same time boldly and quickly.
It is necessary to call specialists discreetly, but later to prepare a friend for their arrival, if possible . And do not blame yourself for calling an ambulance without his knowledge. Then your friend will appreciate this care.
Don’t forget about your own health
Do not dive completely into the problems of a depressed friend and forget about yourself, your own difficulties and joys. Do not sacrifice comfort and life!
It is necessary to deal with your own plans, rest and gain strength for the next visit to your friend.
Despair, apathy for life, hurtful words can affect the one who supports. He or she may also lose strength and mood and become depressed.
Do not take it personally, hearing the furious words of a friend. After all, these are the words of the disease, not his.
Remember that he is not really like that and you should not be offended and respond in the same way. Behind the disease, see the person, his qualities and remind yourself what he used to be like.
What shouldn’t you do or say?
Often from the excitement you can say something nonsensical to a depressed friend or act strangely. It is important to filter words, control emotions and actions to make life difficult.
The following should be avoided:
- Not imposing treatment, but persuading to go to the doctor.
- Do not force anything, but be flexible.
- Don’t devalue the patient’s feelings, and don’t blame his behavior or words.
- Do not avoid talking about his or her illness when it is appropriate.
- Don’t try to impress with flashy and fun parties. This may make the depressed person feel worse.
- Don’t blame yourself for being healthy and your friend being sick. No one is to blame!
- Not to deceive, not to be hypocritical, but to be sincere and simple.
Conclusion
A true friend remembers that the depressed person himself without realizing it, is under the power of the disease. He sees everything in negative colors, and he suffers from it. Therefore, it is important to be cautious, careful and understand the seriousness of the situation without belittling it.
Rapid recovery depends on a pleasant atmosphere in the family, among friends, from their positive attitude and genuine care. When a friend finally comes out of depression, he is sure to appreciate who was there for him and it will strengthen the friendship even more.
